• Member Since 9th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen January 8th

The Forgotten Host


It's been far too long my dear guest. I will be your humble host for tonight's... arrangements. I hope to serve you to the best of my... abilities.

E

Luna never liked TD. But she always wanted to know more about him. But what happens when an opportunity comes her way in the form of the non-brony's dreams?

Major credit goes to BronyWriter who wrote the original fanfiction No, I Am Not A Brony, Get Me Outta Equestria!

Prequel to To Love A Non-Brony

Edited by Murder Knight.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 80 )

Yes... That is the only word that can describe what I'm thinking...

I find myself curious.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/669/430/9ce.gif
Let us see were this goes.

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Now to read.

Edit: cool story, can't wait to see What you do with it. Are you having his mind here work like in the last one?

Either a giant city, or a computer.

doing another one? hope itll be as good as the last one also congrats on having an idea for another 1

5507422 its gonna be different because luna's first visit made him build everything from the ground up in the first story.

5507821 i already have ideas for a few more but i can't write the first chapters. those are always the trickiest for me

5508333 Ah, can't wait to see.:twilightsmile:

Luna never liked me, huh? :fluttercry:

The writing in this is a bit weird. Grammatically, I mean. Some of the sentences just don't make a whole lot of sense. I don't remember your other TD story having that kind of problem.

5509993 could you point them out? I'd appreciate it

"Some" may have been a bit of an understatement, not meaning to be rude. "Limitless proportion," for example, is already a nonsense term - proportions are comparisons between two things and can't be limitless by definition. There's some grammar mistake or misused word in about every second sentence after that. I don't think I can list all of them here.

5510132 I'll be sure to read through again.

5510132 Why not correct the mistakes of the first paragraph. That way i'll get a gist of how I'm messing up

I'm going to guess a selection of works by M.C. Escher, the artist who drew the never ending staircase, and Relativity, weird 3d pictures that fold back on themselves. It may seem a touch Discord-esque, but it fits for me.

What ever you do Luna don't steal his Pen! Luna is so going to take his pen.

I thought this was needed:pinkiecrazy:.

Ooh, floors. I'm going to guess the existence of a decision making floor that looks like the House of Commons, with lots of TD's all shouting at once, and an imagination that looks like the google offices with lots of unusual things scattered around, and a mezzanine level and food court.

I have an impulse to change my avatar to the scream guy and leave the comment "I see" but instead I think I'll just leave a comment on that impulse... :pinkiehappy:

5516475

You're welcome to it, I look forward to your interpretation of the concept.

I think you should start with established canon first. Like Luna seeing his first encounter with ponies. That'd be fun to see her reaction to.

5518085 This is in a universe where he didn't go on an epic adventure. After the story arc of the first fic was completed

5518144 that's fine. I was referring to him punching tia.

I really liked the way you portraited TD's mind for a comedic reason. Even if scientist/realist in me wants to scream at you that human minds should be represented by a ball of plasma, each arching bolt being a thought or memory. But... The realist part of me have no bloody clue on how to write a good story, even less a comedy one, so don't listen to that one.

The level of D'awww in this chapter is OVER 9000!!!!!!!!

I see TD earned his interesting character growing up around these parents of his.

Canon or not, I'm enjoying the hell out of this.

Not bad at all... I can certainly see why his main concern was a lack of closure for his family.

5516475

By the way, here's one more for you, I'm not sure what the contractual part of the mind is called, but it let him break a pinkie promise, so would probably be a bit like this.

And I'm not sure what the judgmental part of his mind is called, but it seems it would be like this

Um... TD's mother is Canadian. Not southern. Why did you make her sound like Applejack anyway? Also...

She said, “Somehow, I feel that it answered more questions than it asks.”

Shouldn't that be something like "somehow I feel it raised more questions than it answered?"

5544791 I didn't intend the accent to be southern, just lay back. As for the second problem, I'll fix it

This was amazing. I am laughing so hard right now.

(Has not read this yet)
She saw...an Xbox360 floating in a sea of Code Red Mountain Dew.

While I love the dynamics of TD's parents there is a little thing missing... TD wasn't an only child. He have a big sister and younger brother (as far as I can remember). His siblings are mentioned in the original (i think, cant quite remember) and brought up several times in TD's Little Rarity, especially his big sister, whom he have frequent interactions with in that story.

While they could have simply been absent for the memories it would be nice to see em.
His sister is a sports fan and a bit rough around the edges. Acts more like a older brother than a sister.

5556447 Um.
Code Red: A (most of the time) bad event coded with the color red.
Mountain Dew: Soda. Also called gamer fuel by some.
Xbox 360: Gaming device prone to hardware failure, during which the colored circle of ledlights that show connected controllers (normally green) would turn red and light up a flashing 3/4 of a circle, also known as the Red Ring of Death.
Submerging a game console in soda: hardware problems will occur, if not then you are some kind of wizard.

5559603 I know but since this js a prequel, I don't want to mess with the consistency of the story. TD mentioned her in a chat with Luna suprising her.

To me, the cuteness of the scenes feels overshadowed by the wrongness of Luna violating the privacy of TD's mind.

5562955 Oh, trust me, There's gonna be fallout for that :pinkiecrazy:

5562970
TD just keeps getting better and better. Your relatible-and-still-human TD makes it that much more so.

5573378 TD isn't my character. He was made by BronyWriter, and him alone.

5578385
Oh, I know, but your noncanon TD expansions are updated more frequently, and because you kept him human, he just feels so much more relatable

Interesting, a fear of his farther just disappearing. Considering what happens to him about 16 years later...

Grrr... You're making me excited fr the TDverse again.... And there's no more material I haven't read!

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