• Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 22nd, 2019

jasper101202


I'm 18, soon to be enlisted in the US Air Force.

Comments ( 34 )

Good start, a very good start!
Tracking :rainbowkiss:

"Will Fluttershy have the same feelings for the large stallion? "

Since the tag says "Sex," something tells me she does. ;)

484865
I just noticed that to, i think on the main page it says the genre "Romance" as "Sex" until you click it. Haha

This is my first story. I'm working on Chapter 2 as we speak thanks for all of the positive feed back. :)

This is so sweet i had to eat some cashews just to keep reading :derpytongue2:

This is looking good.

Tracking.


I can't wait to see where this goes!

I am posting Chapter 2 this afternoon around 3 o'clock. :yay: :eeyup:

MY BRAIN IS FILLED WITH MILLIONS OF DAWWWWWWWWS

Very cute. Just noticed the mature tag.

Big hmmmmmmm.

494277
It's not until the 3rd or 4th Chapter where it's considered mature. Sorry if it seems misleading so far.

Don't even care if it gets mature. I don't really get into mature fics, but this one has ALL my daawws right now. I gotta read more when you write it!:pinkiehappy:

I like this fic and felt this was a really nice chapter. I would say maybe go more into their feeling during their, first time, but beyond that I really like how this is going. :yay: FlutterMac is awesome...:eeyup:

Pretty good a few spelling errors and the such also like the previous commenter said try to add some emotion to their first time other wise good

610502
I'm sorry for the misspelling. What words were incorrect as far as spelling goes?

Whoah. Surprise buttseks. :twilightoops:

Not that I'm complaining but you could go into so much more detail there. I mean about the emotions and all.... :twilightblush:

I like this pairing, now I down for almost any pairing but something about these two just....spark in me, ya know? Other then some spelling and grammer errors and it seeming to be a bit rushed, I mean they did not even cum together and her hymen did not even break it was......very well written, I suggest you correct your errors and slow down your writing a bit, make it more detialed if possible, explain on both sides their love, not lust for one another....I'll seriously be waiting for more.

Would you mind putting a bit of Spike/Twilight romance in there as well? Hoping to see more of this awesome pair and I'll be looking for other stories of this pair as well, keep writing your doing very well.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

Weeeeeelll... I don't like it....

I lov-

Nope, not going to do that.

I just like it.

That's it.

Well, I'm liking it so far, but their are errors throughout. Nothing that ruins it or that will keep me from finishing it, but their are a few capitalization problems and a few times you used a wrong word, such as barring instead of bearing. If'n you'd want, I could go back through and name them all, I think, but for now I'm going to see about finishing your story. Thumbs up for what I've read so far though!

Eh, pacing seemed a bit fast, but not too bad. Also, thoughts should be italicized.

A few spelling things, but still good.

But I can't give it a favorite, the pacing... way too rushed... and that would have been an emotional time, you could have done so much more with how they felt...

607479 oh hey Deathsylar I didn't think id find you here lol

1062315 Didn't know you were here either. Prepared to watched and Favorited! :yay:

"No it ain't nothin', Ah'm jus' glad to see y'all are okay. The barrage of apples falling to the ground with a large thud. Standing over the tiny mare he noticed that instead of tears of joy she was crying tears of joy? "Y'all okay Fluttershy?"

huh wat? :rainbowhuh:

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