• Member Since 22nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen May 3rd, 2021

Voldine


Comments ( 41 )

Very well done - looking forward to more. :rainbowdetermined2:

I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and guess who the main antagonist is. Freddy Krueger

4896383 you're in my world! yea its freddy thats one of is fraces

5201911 Reading should provide the answer. If only the description to register the capital letters code.

5201911

Open. Never. Enjoy = One

Think. Will. Only = Two

Find. Reach. Even. Don't. Dream. Youth. So = Freddy's

Close. Open. Mend. Indulge. Never. Gleefully = Coming

Find. Observe. Refine = For

Youth. Onwards. Until = You

The message is "One, Two, Freddy's Coming For You." It's a Nightmare on Elm Street Crossover.

5201993 Where can I find this message? Aside from your post, that is.

Comment posted by Nova_Eclipse deleted Oct 30th, 2014

5202824

Umm, dude?

Reading should provide the answer. If only the description to register the capital letters code.

Not meaning to be sarcastic or anything, but look at the last sentence he wrote in his reply to you:

Reading should provide the answer. If only the description to register the capital letters code.

So, what the author is saying is to look at ALL of the capital letters in the description, and see what they spell out:

Open the door to an unknown world. Never think about what may happen. Enjoy your peaceful nights.

I got one of the words for the message done for you, try and find the rest!

5280344
4896383

No no no! How can you both be so wrong!?

Clearly the villain is Merlin after going completely insane and losing his magic.

Or was it Gandalf after being hit in the head by one too many giant eagle droppings?

No, wait, red and green...MARIO AND LUIGI!

5280374 Red AND Green? THE GRINCH!
Hes after hearthswarming eve now! THE HORROR!

5280344 You sure it isn't Foxy, because I hear that he has a clawed hand. . . or worse Golden Freddy:pinkiegasp:

5289369
Golden Foxxy's clawed vulpine shaft wut?

Ok I don't watch horror very often so this would be my reaction to that: (clears throat) AHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOH MY GOSH WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO THE POOR GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5295050 Thou canst not say that thou wert not given ample warning to the contents of this tale. Wherefore wouldst thou read it?

Seriously though, thank you for commenting on the contents of the story. I'm glad I could get that kind of reaction with only words. There are some bits there that serve as call backs to events from the movies for fans that end up reading this, but I am being careful to not make knowing the references integral to understanding what's going on.

5295195 yeah I'm not a fan of the horror tv genre but for some reason I like it in story form. :applejackunsure: food for though maybe

Cool. I was planing on doing my own Elm Street crossover that was more a "VS" story, but with school I didn't have enough time to give it the attention it deserves. I'll keep tabs on this story for my own entertainment and to make sure that when I do have the time to wright my story, it will be different.

I can't wait until Luna finds out the being responsible is something far worse than whoever this Gentor is ...... unless Gentor is Kruger then idk.

5353448 The more important detail there is that it wasn't even Luna who beat the old threat. It was her father.

She also explicitly said killed rather than the more ambiguous 'vanquished' or 'defeated.' Gentor is not another name for an old incarnation of Freddy. This is not a spoiler.

5550340 More is coming. My muse is just being fickle.

I know where I want the story to go
but I am afraid the words will not flow.
Bad dreams are an art as much as the gore
and I know my fans all clamor for more.
The show must go on, more tension will build.
It will not be long 'fore somepony's killed.

This poem brought to you by Laird's Applejack. Distilled and in business since 1780.

This review is brought to you by Zero Punctuation Reviews.

Well, roughly the first 10% of 2015 is now dust in the wind and pretty soon you and every person you've met will be dead and the sun will expand to the point that the Earth is rendered lifeless before the universe itself slowly dies from the callous indifference of entropy, but, until then, enjoy my review of "Equestria's New Nightmare". Actually, this is something of an event as it is my first review in quite a long time because of reasons I'm too lazy to make up, so gather around the campfire, kiddies, and let's see what this one has hidden up it's skirts.

"Equestria's New Nightmare" is the story of Princess Luna getting back into the swing of things after the end of her exile - you know, that big fat obvious sideplot the show hasn't done for four seasons and counting and is probably one of the cornerstones of this fandom's fiction archives next to self-insert alicorns and stories about background ponies sucking cock. Anyway, the story paints ol' Luny-bear as a sort of dream-guard, in that whenever a pony is having a nightmare, she rushing in shooing away the monster before the dreamer can wet themselves and ruin the sleepover. However, Lunatuna's dream job is thrown into a loop when a mysterious forces starts killing little ponies in their sleep, and it's up to Luna and the Dream Team Spleen Machine to save the day!

Well, never say that I am not an honest man - I will slit your throat with a box cutter if you do - so I must humbly admit that the first chapter of "Equestria's New Nightmare" is pretty good. It didn't make me cream my pants or start licking my computer screen, but I actually found myself sitting up in my bed as the story unfolded. Yes, the beginning quite competently weaves exposition and character establishment into the unfolding narrative and provides grounded context for this unfolding mystery. "Good God above!" thought I, "Am I really reading a top 5 contender this early in the year!? Dammit, writing this positive review is going to be a fat bitch!" Then the rest of the story happened and I just leaned back down as my eyes drooped and my mouth wrinkled to a sneer and just said, "Oh," in an incredibly defeated manner. Then I throw up a little bit into my mouth.

Now, before any of you bleating lambs read the opening chapter and jump down my throat because your opinion of it doesn't exactly match mine, let me back up and save my throat by saying that it's not perfect. The absolute bane of this little tale's existence is dialogue, and the exchanges between Celestia and Luna are just awful because they both seem to have the same tongue-in-cheek-sarcastic-Joss-Whedon personality. And if you sleep in bed at night curled up next to your Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs and think that doesn't sound so bad, allow my to slap you about with the thick, awkward boner that is the truth: Having one sarcastic character rolling their eyes as they're pulled to the ringer amidst a varied cast is like adding a tasty, crunchy pickle to a tasty toasted club sandwich but when all your characters are like that, it's like stacking four pickles on top of each other and trying to sell it to me as a tasty toasted club sandwich and expecting me to pay $7.50 for it.

To be fair, other non-sarcastic characters drop in from time to time and are either immediately killed, maimed or never heard from again, but they're all so bland and one dimensional they hardly warrant mention. The POV is all over the place and we're trusted into the heads of characters that have yet to be mentioned or, in the case of the dead one, will probably not be mentioned again on account of the whole being dead thing. Call me clingy, but I thought we were going to hang out with Luna-bug for most of this roller coaster, but after the B+ intro, she's almost demoted to extra in favor of characters who aren't as engaging or interesting or sexy, depending on the clopfic of your choosing.

My advice, which, in my most humble and self-aggrandizing opinion is the shit, is for rewrite. I'd say limit yourself to three POV characters: Luna can run around dreamland catching glimpses of the rascally murderer before he slip through the cracks and she stomps her dream-team badge into the ground in frustration; Maybe have Rarity running around the surface dealing with the bloody and viscous consequences of Mr. Murderpants; and you can have Shadow Tower or whatever the fuck his name is be sort of the middle man in the between-y bits that provides some kind of tangible link between dream whatsabouts and surface whosdoneits - but only if you promise to give him some kind of personality and maybe a goal or two so he might become memorable and engaging rather than a big block of wood with a stupid name getting hurled around wherever the plot needs him to be like a prison bitch that's just stopped giving a shit and will let you go to town so long as he gets to do his crossword puzzles.

Oh, and tease the fucking villain some more. The story came alive in the beginning where there was some measure of uncertainty, but having the dude just show up halfway through and be obviously that guy (no spoilers here - it may be weakened from bacon overconsumption and a decade of midget-giraffe porn, but I still have a soul) buttfucked the entire mystery and all the bonus points the mystery was affording the terrible dialogue.

Still, "Equestria's New Nightmare" is a net positive and a pleasant surprise in the great tank of fish-heads that is fanfiction. I feel comfortable giving this story a shaky recommendation, but don't crawl in bed with it or it'll cut your tongue out then explain what your cut-out tongue looks like for three paragraphs with awful cardboard dialogue.

Because of several issues I have with the story, I'm rejecting it from Goodfic Bin Submissions.

Details are here.

Question, why are the chapter names lines to metalica's "enter the sandman"?
Not that I'm complaining:rainbowderp: I love it.

Yeesh, I knew Freddy was sick, but this is just... WRONG!

Hmm, very detailed and image invoking. :twilightsmile: The idea of tasting dreams, and the rich background are very original.

1year 4 months later and still no updates or the answer to my question
EDIT: Two years later...:ajbemused:

NOOOOOOO
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO
PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY
IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD TOO

6078573 To be perfectly honest, that was not my intention in the original naming scheme.

I WAS going to give the chapter names the theme of being lines and stanzas from lullabies or old prayers. Either coincidence or simple subconscious play on my part arranged for the first sources used to also mirror lines from a certain song...which is now what WILL be used intentionally.

I've been dealing with some creativity-stifling brain fog for a while now, along with having no new nightmares of my own to draw from for some time. Still no new nightmares worth putting into this story in some form or another, but the fog is parting.

More than that, a certain other franchise has helped me find better ways to represent other denizens of nightmares and dreams.

I have such sights to show you...

Just a few technical errors - uncapitolized names, redundant clauses, etc - and strange sentence structures, but nothing damning.

8070286 Noted that there are errors, will check through later.

Getting back into the swing of things after so long is hard.

8070286 Hmmmmm. I just reread the newest chapter to see where I missed a name, but I can't seem to find one that isn't capitalized. Could you possibly quote an example for me with context?

8070361 I'm on my phone, so it's a little hard to copy and paste, but I know Rarity's name was left lowercase.

And now I lay me down to sleep Pray Luna my soul to keep And if I should die before I wake Pray Luna my soul to take. -Ancient Equestrian Prayer

OMNI:Enter Sandman anyone? Anyone??? Just me? Ok...

Okay, that prophecy sounds... ominous. REALLY ominous.

I.M. Dubious is involved? I wonder if Nyx and her friends might make an appearance...

Ah, good old Professor Dubious. I'm guessing this is before "Nyx's Family"?

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