• Member Since 3rd May, 2014
  • offline last seen May 9th, 2019

Derpator


Near a tree by a river there's a hole in the ground.

E

This story is a sequel to Cheese Pie Cake


Is there any reason why Cheese Sandwich isn’t afraid of meeting Pinkie Pie’s sisters? It’s only for a day he keeps telling himself. But then again, maybe it won’t go all bad for him. After all, he will finally meet the Pie sisters. They’ll have some nice conversations, maybe play a few party games.

“I know what we can play next!” Pinkie suggested, pulling out a spinner and mat, something that Cheese familiarised himself with instantly.

...Oh dear.

Chapters (5)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 37 )

I saw this and uttered many rude expletives indicative of delight.

Well, THIS is going to head south quickly!

I like your take on the Pie sisters. Since we don't know much about them, I think you can go to town giving them whatever personalities you want. I also think the tuxedo is a nice touch, and the reuse of the screencap, which does suggest a certain amount of deer in the headlights horror.

But he wants to make a good impression.

D'aawww.

I like where this is going. :pinkiecrazy:

I read the title and immediately thought "Clop. Gotta be clop." I guess that shows you my experience with pony fanfic...:twilightsheepish:

Not to judge on your story or anything but I thought pinkie pie was the last sister? :/ love the story though keep up the good work :D

4570060 No, she isn't. Limestone and Marble are her younger sisters, or at least, in the chapter book, Maud is called "your older sister" as opposed to Limestone and Marble. In the flashback, Limestone, Marble, and Pinkie are all fillies; in Pinkie Pride, Maud appears in the photo as a filly, too.

But it's implied that it's Maud, Pinkie, and then Marble and Limestone. What's actually a departure is that Derpator's given them jobs off the farm!--although this is a sequel, so probably set far enough in the future that it's possible they're off the farm by then.

Scoots2 thanks for letting me know I didn't really know pinkie was the second you see I haven't read that chapter book you were talking about that's why I didn't know you see in my country I don't really know were to buy those types of comics or books :( but thank you for telling me :D

I thought that Limestone and Marble are twins.
Speaking of twins, what about those Cake Twins?

4571986

It's really open for interpretation. They can be seen as twins, given they're both the same size and whatnot. I guess you can really give the sisters your own head canon, like I've done. It's pretty easy to also make them Maud clones, or just grumpy rock farmers too, having never left the farm, if that is what you choose to do with them. But at that point, it's pretty lazy in a way. It can be pulled off if three of the four sisters are basically Maud, but I prefer to look otherwise.

However, from my perspective, they've left the rock farm and gone off to do what... well what they're doing. Like Limestone said, she's in Manehatten, a chief editor for a newspaper. The idea of them leaving the rock farm was backed up for me when in Maud Pie, we see the mane six and Maud go to the rock farm near the end. At that point, if I would have seen any trace of the rest of the family, I'd have scrapped this head canon. But honestly, the only thing I haven't decided on the Pie family is the parents. I have no idea what to do with Igneous and Cloudy. I'd like to believe they stayed on the farm after their daughters left it, hiring help for a while (like Trixie in Magic Duel), before they closed it down or something, retiring somewhere after a few years or so.

As for the Cakes, I deliberately left it out this first chapter. This will be brought up in the future, so spoilers, but if you don't mind, then the Cakes are away for the weekend (it's a lazy way to isolate characters in Sugarcube Corner), leaving Pinkie in charge. Cheese extended his normal one day visit to the weekend to hang out with Pinkie, and the store remains closed to the public. It's how they arranged the get-together with the sisters, and the Cakes were ok with it. They took Pound and Pumpkin with them, leaving Cheese and the Pies alone. The same goes for customers; there are to be none, due to the limited staff. But in the end, the sisters are only staying one day, going home on Sunday.

4573805 Letting go of the farm is a pretty emotional decision, but it would make perfect sense for Maud to be doing advanced work on rocks which she then intends to apply to the rock farm. That's certainly something a future farmer might do.

---although I've also quietly thought that it would be hilarious if she fell in love with and married Trenderhoof, leaving Cheese the potential brother-in-law to his greatest bronemy. I think Maud would be very good for Trend. I've also always assumed that earth ponies live a loooong time, and therefore the inheritance issue won't come up for a while.

More. More...MORE!!!!!! Please!!!

It'll be more like CheesePies.

I cheered when this showed up. Gawd. I should have known that Cheese would be both good at and ruthless at Monopoly. See, the problem with your stories is that I never know what's going to happen next.

Wait, if Cheese was shipped with Maud, Marble or Limestone, does it still count as CheesePie?

Sigh. No. No, it doesn't. In the sense that their last name is Pie, I can see what you mean, but the problem is that it's confusing, since CheesePie's kind of become a shipname in itself. Label something "CheesePie," tag it with Maud, Pinkie, and Cheese (and Pinkie's bound to be in there, somewhere), and you're going to get a lot of unhappiness. That's just my opinion, though, and the one Cheese and Maud fic on the site was doing pretty well for a while. The author hasn't updated in a while, so it's probably not going anywhere.

Just on a technical note, I noticed a lot of tense shift from present to past (see end of chapter.)

Boneless Two all the way. :pinkiecrazy:

But despite all seriousness, I really enjoyed this chapter. Can't wait to see where this goes. :moustache:

QUESTIONS!!

Why is Cheese still in Ponyville?
When does this take place?
Why is Cheese so nervous to meet Pinkie's sisters?
Did I miss something?
Why do kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!?

(I would like to apologise for that terrible joke.)

(Not really.. At all.. In the slightest.... But still.)

4622275 Just out of curiosity, what would they be called? Maud x Cheese? I don't think I've seen an abbreviation. MaudWich?

The monopoly, or money rather, is something I think is not seen for Cheese. He does organise tons of parties, and he needs funds after all. I see it'd only be fitting he's used to organising finances. I'm glad I still have tricks up my sleeves.

And blast those tenses. I'll overlook them and try not to use them in the following chapters.


4626374 Have you read the second chapter? Because:
1. He comes back to Ponyville every weekend, or whenever he can make spare time.
2. Between one and two months following Cheese Pie Cake, which takes place a few weeks after Pinkie Pride.
3. He's afraid for various reasons. It's a bit enduring if I posted a huge comment, but one of the many reasons is that if he harmed Pinkie in any way, he'd fear the sisters would come after him, mostly Maud. There's more than that, but you really have to pick them up yourself. Who isn't afraid of meeting siblings or family of someone you're close to? I know they're not a couple in this, but it still applies.
4. If you haven't read Cheese Pie Cake, then that.
5. Iono.

4626574 Usually, it's CheeseMaud, although the author of the Maud and Cheese fic said it was "technically CheesePie."
Which, y'know, ketchup is technically a vegetable, but CheeseMaud gets it across just fine. Rare ships often don't have portmanteau names, and I don't think they're essential.

It's always fun when authors come up with totally different takes on stuff that isn't covered. You've got him being good with money, I've got him totally unconcerned with personal property (since he's able magically to pull party supplies out of hammerspace, and the rest doesn't matter), and the creator of the tumblr Ask Trixie and Cheese has his parties funded by his brother, Lettuce, who owns a chain of hardware stores, all of which are possible. Admittedly, the hardware stores are a bit of a reach, and mostly a Weird Al Yankovic joke, but it's a great joke.

Gummy, Boneless Two, Boulder? Is that the new rock, paper, scissors?

Also I'm liking the story. I was a bit worried that it was going to turn into a love triangle, so thanks for the clarification. I'm guessing she'll have learnt how he plays, so she'll challenge him at monopoly (monopony?) again and beat him by far. Just a guess.

Aw...that little moment between Cheese and Pinkie was adorable. :rainbowkiss:

What's sudden about CheesePie? It's his density that I've found hard to buy. He's been seeing her every week and sharing a bed with her, for crying out loud!

Why did he hold her in such a high regard?

Because you LIKE-like her, stoopit! Mind you, I think it makes sense for there to be a slow reveal on Pinkie and Cheese's relationship. Even I didn't go with "bang, they're in love."

Nothing's wrong with Limestone being a lesbian. We don't know anything about her, so nearly anything is fair game. In fact, there was another Pie sister fic I skimmed where--I think Marble was the lesbian. I wasn't that nuts about it, since Igneous was such a bastard and since it emphasized the Pie's relationship to the Apples, which made her crush on Applejack (within the story) incestuous. Personally, I've never seen it that way. The Pies and Apples are related--maybe--so far back that they don't even know HOW. I don't have an issue with any of the Pies having a relationship with any of the Apples, but that's just me. Maud and Pinkie, though, :pinkiesick: (Believe it or not, it's kinda popular, too.)

Kissing Cheese to force stuff WOULD have been worse, and somehow . . . not something I can imagine a Pie sister doing, although, as I said, we really don't know them.

Good thing Marble didn't say to Cheese "Your a keeper!! Will you take care of Pinkie Pie!!!??"

4745192
The Marble kissing Cheese thing was honestly, the biggest debate I had on this story so far. It got me that conflicted. Many times I kept telling myself it was a good idea, only to disagree a few hours later. It kept going back and forth. I'm glad I dropped it now, since the way it portrayed Marble is actually kind of selfish. It's Pinkie's relationship, and it's her life, and yet, she loves Pinkie so much that she wants it to happen. Her heart's in the right place, but in both circumstances, both that old one and this one, she's going about it in an iffy manner.

Limestone being a lesbian was a decision from the start, even before I started writing this. Remember in that old blog when I mentioned I had an idea for a series after this story? Yeah, that series is based around Limestone moving and living in Ponyville, staying in Sugarcube Corner's spare room (haha, idea comes in handy now) and falling in love with Rainbow Dash, the one-time sidekick to her favourite hero. I called the ship LimeDash, and I don't think I've actually seen this pair. But... I've dropped this series. For now anyway. I'm not sure if it'll ever be written. This may look like spoilers, but none of this is going to be put or mentioned in the last chapter here. There's no need to either.

Are there any PinkiexMaud fics that aren't rated Mature? I've checked it out and all I've found is clop. It's a weird idea though.

Cheese looks really dense. How could he not be picking up on these things? Pinkie requesting a kiss on the cheek in return for cooking lessons? Sharing a bed instead of using the spare? Yeah, something's up you dolt. But I've been seeing it sort of like this, and I'm not sure if it's intentional here, but I'm seeing him in denial. He really likes Pinkie, but either doesn't want to admit it, or feels scared for a relationship. The latter could be answered in the form of the sisters, who after seeing and knowing about them more, leads him a little more out of his shell. He's feared Maud all this time (who wouldn't after all?) so I guess he's just been afraid. Or it could be the constant travelling, and he doesn't want to only see Pinkie once a week, or something along those lines.

But at this point, I can't just set this all aside and have Cheese proclaim sudden love for Pinkie. He definitely feels something for her, enjoying the kiss after all, but I don't think he's about to come out and confess a whole lot of stuff. Not in a flash of 'love till the end' type anyway. Guess we'll find out in the finale.

4745312 Sigh. Now I want to see LimeDash, and I probably never will.

As far as gradual CheesePie--no arguments from me there. Over 30,000 words from me, not counting Party of Two, Triple Threat, Mr. Lonelyheart, or Slice of Life, or the EG series, and mine haven't even said "I love you." Heck, Cheese only admitted to himself he was in love with Pinkie not all that long ago. And Pinkie already knows he loves her. But it's complicated on Cheese's end, because among other things, what do you do when you're in love with a goddess? Anyhow, not to derail, but there are some potential obstacles built right into the possible relationship right in the episode, and it's a pity not to explore them in one way or another. That's how interesting romance stories are made, or at least I think so.

I've been reading this, enjoying the premise and the way you skate the edges between the ways the story could go, but I can't finish it.

The poor word usage and bad grammar are completely distracting. I've been trying to push past it, but there's just too many uses of words in ways that don't fit them - at all. Too many missing words and phrases that complete ideas. And far too many wrongly worded phrases. It's like trying to enjoy a fast car and hitting a speed bump every ten feet. It just doesn't work.

Please go through, or have someone else go through, and edit this. It's a decent story with interesting touches, but I just can't take those constant speed bumps.

4760786
A fair point. I've wanted to go over that and the last chapter (the last chapter particularly) and edit. I rushed a little on chapter five, which seeing as how you haven't finished, could probably be seen as good in your case. I'll see what I can do to polish this up, though I can't say for certain when that'd be. I'd like to say ASAP, but other stuff and that...

Thanks for justifying though, much appreciated.

Oh pinkie, to interact with cheese you play twister

4573805
were you planning another story after this?

5328456
There was a planned story that didn't focus on Cheese and Pinkie. It was based around Limestone temporarily living in Ponyville and falling in love with Rainbow Dash. It would have had a secondary CheesePie thing going on, but it wasn't going to go after their relationship as much.

That's still around somewhere. And after some thought, I decided to remove it being a sequel. Instead, it's just its own original story. Limestone isn't the same as she is here (the cutie mark and Manehatten), but she's still into mares and is somewhat the same as she was portrayed here. And, again, she comes to Ponyville (reason being that she wants a change in her rock farm life) and lives at Sugarcube Corner in their spare room (which was used in Cheese Pie Cake) as she gets herself off the ground. And like this story, she's a big fan of Daring Do, and falls in love with Rainbow Dash.

So in essence, it's the same, just without some of the aspects of this. And it's in my backlog somewhere, but I'm unsure if I'll ever get around to it. It sounds interesting, but I've got other projects planned right now. Maybe I'll try it out some time, because as far as I'm aware, Limestone x Rainbow Dash doesn't exist on this site, which is a bit of a shame.

Long story short to answer your question: no, in terms of continuing this CheesePie line.

5329068
Darn well this was a fun read though.

gummy would win because he's the only one who is alive and not an inanimate object

I bet it was those darned sheep that held 'em up! :pinkiegasp:

you can tell this was written before the pie sisters(bar maud) got their canon personalities

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!