• Member Since 23rd Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 21st, 2017

Konseiga


Just an aspiring writer. Not really anything special.

E

There’s one particular pony who is unaccustomed to defeat. She has never backed down, never given up, and always plowed on through adversity with a shining determination. Even when detained and questioned about her friends whereabouts and actions, Rainbow Dash remains steadfast, loyal, and never knows when to quit.

This was just a small idea I had while brainstorming. It's a story to get me back in to the creative description mode that I need to fall in to write a really really really good story.

What was I supposed to tag this anyway? Oh well. Critical comments preferred.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 46 )

No LIkes/Dislikes? No Comments.....


TIME TO SET OUT ON A NEW ADVENTURE JIMMY!

*EDIT* Hey, not bad! I'll be happy to leave a like!

But just one question....How do ponies hold guns? Well, I suppose they hold things all the time in MLP but they don't exactly have anything to pull the trigger. Oh well, good story nevertheless...Good day :moustache:

i give up and sell out somewhere between when they bring out when they bring out the car battery whit jumper cables and when they pull a 12inc cucumber out of a tub of lube

Not bad, not bad at all.

Lesson of the Week: never take loans...

Rainbow I think determination is not the key this time:fluttercry:

415073 I suspect they'd just use the hammer. A unicorn might be able to operate a trigger, but it'd be too hard for an earth or pegasus.

Brilliant and well executed if only a bit short for my tastes...

(sorta a fanfic snack instead of a four course meal)

DAYUM, this was awesome!!
>D
AJ saves the day and RD is a loyal badass, even to the (almost) end!
:ajsmug::rainbowdetermined2:

Well written, not bad at all. Thumbs upped.

Hmm, at first I thought by seeing the cover:
Oh Great ANOTHER AppleDash fic....*sigh*, but then saw that there was NO Romance Tag and instead a Dark Tag.So I thought: Well, this is new. Ive never seen a fic that has AJ and Dash that wasn't a Shipfic, so I shall read now.

Edit: I have to say, well done:moustache:

Its nice... But I have always thinking the pony civalisation to be more in the medieval period than the modern era. And use buck instead of fuck, they do live in Equestria :3

BR

So this is the "short story" you were talking about?

Its Awesome!!!!! Kinda reminded me of Cupcakes, though.

But its still awesome!!!!!!:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

The "Lee-Roy Jenkins Brothers"
Fucking really mate? :ajbemused:

416698
I was wondering if anyone was going to pick up on that. :trollestia:

"Awesome."

That's all I have...

Between the Lee, Roy pun, and Dash spitting in the face of death, great story.

I'll say one thing
It sure as hell is different
But hell, it is AWESOME :twilightsmile:

I already liked "Forever Faithful" and "Gamer Luna." You just earned a watch.

Feature imminent

Pretty good... I just wanted to know where had AJ hidden herself :P

Let's do this! LEEEROY JENKINS!

Why do I get the idea this story started out as a way for you to have AJ offer Dash her Cherry?:rainbowwild:

Still it is well written, the idea of a cash strapped AJ getting a loan from Loan sharks works.:ajsleepy:

However, one complaint (minor) I have is the guns. They just don't seem to fit in MLP. I'm not saying the technology to make guns couldn't exist, Its just that we never see them even in "Over a Barrel.":rainbowhuh:

To me the story would have been more "real" if the brothers just used hooves and simpler weapons like a knife or sword . Dash could her the "sliink" of a sword drawn from a scabbard. Maybe the just kick Dash (hard) in the leg. After all you can't get more cliche than a loan shark threatening to break a leg.:rainbowhuh:

415073
its like velcrow (or however you spell it), a pony can simply pick things up and put them down (i pick things up and put them down) <<[kudos if you get the refference]

442626
A Planet Fitness commercial...right?

And who would have the rough part of valcrow (Or however you spell it) on a gun?

444577
well um... ponies? :pinkiehappy:

Great story and I loved the ending!:pinkiehappy:
keep up the good work!:heart:

good:pinkiehappy: all I have to say

this reminded me Cupcakes at the beginning
but then it became it's own thing, sweetness

FINISH THERE IS A GAMER IN ALL OF US!!! :flutterrage:

415196 Yeah, These days you either get shot in the leg, or fucked sideways by 30% interest rates...

That was awesome!:rainbowkiss:

amazingly good. liked how AJ comes it at the perfect time. and Rainbow's Loyalty and lack-of-respect/lack-of-manners was pretty true to her character.

The only problem I have with this story is how poor of a shot Applejack is. She missed Roy's brain and heart completely with that shot. :ajbemused:

Why the hay are they swearing if this is rated Everyone?

Hi! I hope you don't mind, but I did a dramatic reading of this story recently. This story is amazing, and I had to read it! :)

415073 - For Earth Ponies and Pegasi, I think its like a gauntlet worn on the foreleg, with the trigger on top, pulled by the other hoof. With bigger weapons like shotguns, probably would be something like the battle saddles in Fallout: Equestria, worn on the back and fired by a mouth-operated bit.

4228596
And this reading is how I found this fic! I wanted to read it before I listened to it and my word! Your reading was amazing!

Damn, this was good. I love it. It has my David Crespo stamp of approval.

Dayum son this fic was so cool!
:yay:
AJ was like "oh I'm so fucking badass" and RD was like "Hell yeah those fuckers not ain't gonna know shit" and I was like
WOW THIS FANFIC WAS AWESOME, NIGGA!

Comment posted by horses are fuckin weird deleted July 8th
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