chapter 11 - Birthday Party.
Luna’s beautiful moon soon fell to be replaced by Celestia’s sun, shining across Equestria.
In Twilight’s castle the only ponies awake were Twilight,Shining and Cadence. They wanted to let Scootaloo sleep in, it was her birthday after all, and everypony should be able to sleep in on a special day.
Cadence and Shining were sitting at the table waiting for Twilight to get them some coffee. Cadence offered to get herself, but Twilight insisted she'd make it.
Soon Twilight finished making the coffee. She added some cream and a bit of sugar in it, to make it sweeter. Setting the drinks on the table Twilight levitated a few pieces of paper over to Cadence; instructions on what Scootaloo would need for her party.
“Twilight, I’m pretty sure I can handle this myself, besides I’ll be bringing Pinkie Pie along. After all she is the best party planner around,” she said taking a sip of her sweet coffee.
Twilight sighed, “I’m sorry, I just want this to be perfect. It's a very special day for my little princess,” she said sipping her own coffee.
Shining looked at the clock and saw it was time to leave. Saying their goodbyes they gave Twilight one last hug before moving on to ponyville train station. Once they left Twilight went to Spike’s room, she had a special task for him.
Twilight opened Spike’s door and saw her little dragon sleeping snug in his bed. She shook him softly. “Spike wakey,wakey” she whispered. Her voice made Spike’s ears twitch, and he wiggled around, tugging at his blankets, until he finally opened his eyes, “Good morning Twilight,” he said rubbing his eyes.
“Twilight,” he said as he shook his head trying to get the blur out of his eyes. “What did you need?”
Twilight levitated Spike on her back and brought the little dragon into the living room. She then went to her bookshelf and pulled out a stack of a paper; they looked an awful lot like party invitations.
“Spike, I need you to hand these out to each of Scootaloo’s friends,” she said giving him the stack of invitations.
“Bu...But Twilight, I’ve got important dragon sleep to catch up on. I was having a good dream too,” he said with a pout.
Twilight rolled her eyes, “Spike, this is important. What if I promise you that if you do this I’ll get you a Rarity plushie next week?”
That got his attention.Grabbing the invitations he left, though walking slowly.
Scootaloo’s eyes began to open as she started to wake up. The clock on the wall said it was about ten am. She thought for a few moments about why didn’t Twilight wake her earlier, but she shrugged it off and got out of bed, made her bed and then put her scooter away.
Once finished she walked down the stairs. “Morning mom,” she said as walked over to Twilight and gave her a big hug.
“Good morning princess,” she said nuzzling Scootaloo. She walked into the kitchen and got breakfast ready. Hay and cereal wasn’t really a good birthday breakfast but Scootaloo would be getting everything she needed in Canterlot.
Once the cereal was made she slid it over to Scootaloo. Scootaloo ate her food a little slower than usual, sad that Cadence and Shining weren’t here, but then she wondered where did they go off to.
“Hey mom, where did Auntie Cadence and Uncle Shining go?” she asked wondering if they went to the store or something similarly innocuous.
Twilight smiled down at Scootaloo, “Well they…” she stopped realizing she might spoil the surprise if she told the truth,so she tried coming up with something else. “They went back to run the Crystal Empire” she said, though Scootaloo could see though that lie.
Scootaloo sighed, “It’s ok if you rather tell me later,” she said finishing her breakfast. She took her empty plate to the sink and brought a chair over to the sink so she could reach. Usually Scootaloo didn’t do dishes but she wanted to help, it was the least she could do for Twilight after everything she did.
Finished, Scootaloo she walked up to Twilight, “Is there anything else I can help with?”
Twilight smiled, “I was thinking you could go hang out with your friend Diamond Tiara for a while. I have some things I need to do, and this gives you time to have fun,” she said before walking out of the kitchen and onto her studies.
Something felt strange to the young filly,Twilight seemed off. She shrugged it off, maybe Twilight was just getting a cold or maybe she was working too hard. She then walked out the room but when she got to the door she shouted low but loud enough for Twilight to hear.
“Bye mom, I love you,” she said waving goodbye and walking out the door. She decided not to take her scooter, maybe a walk around town would be better.
When Scootaloo got to the Rich’s mansion, she saw Silver Spoon who, from the looks of her red eyes, had been crying.
Silver Spoon couldn’t take it anymore, it had been weeks since she and Diamond hung out and she missed it. Diamond Tiara was her only friend the because the other fillies and colts in her class hated her for all the awful things she was always saying.
“Hi,Scootaloo,” Silver said cautiously. She pushed her glasses up her nose.
Scootaloo glared at her ready to fight, if Silver Spoon was here to make fun she was ready.
Unknown to both ponies, Diamond Tiara hid behind her mansion wall waiting to hear how this would turn out.
Silver Spoon smiled ever so slightly “Lisin Scootaloo I just came he-” before she could finish she was cut off by Scootaloo.
“To came to make fun of me again? Well you can forget it. I’ve had enough of you, if you want to fight with me then let’s go! One on one, right here,” Scootaloo said, her nostrils flaring.
“No...No, Scootaloo, I came here to apologize. I just….I just thought if I said all that to you I would be cool but I was wrong. It was a bad choice to make and I’m sorry, do you forgive me?” she asked sincerely.
Scootaloo looked into Silver’s eyes they were misty as if she truly meant it. Scootaloo calmed down and smiled offering her a hoof bump “I...I guess I can give you a chance…. but only one. If you EVER! do anything like that again, I won’t forgive you,” she said receiving a hoof bump from her former enemy.
Silver Spoon, let out a sigh of relief. “Ok, see ya later, Scootaloo,” Silver said, and with that she galloped away.
With that done Scootaloo walked inside the mansion gate and saw Diamond Tiara leaning against the wall. “Were you listening?”
Tiara jumped a bit hearing Scootaloo. “Yeah, I admit it, I was. But I only wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to turn into a fight,” she said flicking her mane a bit.
Scootaloo smiled. “So hey want to hang out? Mom said I should come here for a while.”
Diamond Tiara smiled back. “How about we have a tea party and then we could get our manes done oh and th-” she stopped realizing she might be boring Scootaloo. “How about just a tea party?”
Scootaloo noded. “Yeah a tea party sounds fine, just make sure you never tell anypony.”
Diamond Tiara got her butler to set a table inside Diamond’s room, which of course was all pink. Once the table was set she let Scootaloo put one of her dresses on.
“Are you sure I can’t just, ya know, not wear anything on at all?” she asked holding a pink gown.
“Of course not. All guest must wear a dress at a tea party,” Diamond replied.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes.Adding to her distaste was the fact that Diamond only had pink dresses, her least favorite color, but she put it on regardless. It wasn’t like anypony would see her.
The two enjoyed their little tea party for two hours, sure it got a little boring for Scootaloo, but she actually enjoyed it after they started to talk about what colts they liked. After an hour it was time to leave. When she got outside, she found Twilight waiting for her.
“Hey mom, why are you here?”
“It's time to leave, we’re going to Canterlot,” Twilight said, nuzzling her daughter.
Scootaloo beamed. She hadn't gone to Canterlot since she visited Twilight’s parents, and that was two months ago, “Really mom, what for?” she asked.
Twilight giggled. “I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”
Scootaloo and Twilight walked towards the train station. When they got on they were silent, no one spoke mostly because the train was too noisy.
When they arrived in Canterlot Twilight took Scootaloo to the castle immediately. As they walked inside they noticed all the lights were off.
They walked into the castle's dining room and once they did the lights popped on.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOOTALOO!” yelled Shining, Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Diamond Tiara, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Thunderlane and Rumble.
“Thanks everypony, you sure got me,” Scootaloo said, blushing.
Pinkie chimed in. “Happy tenth birthday Scootaloo. We planned so much stuff for you. We’ve got games, presents, and lots and lots of other stuff too,” she said excitedly giving Scootaloo a hug. She also stretched her hooves out bringing everypony else into it.
When Pinkie Released them from the hug she brought Scootaloo over to her chair and they all began to eat. Everypony made small talk but Celestias decided to say something more substantial.
Celestia looked down at Scootaloo. “Might I ask, how has your life with Twilight been?” She had received letters from Twilight regarding Scootaloo but she wanted to know how Scootaloo felt about everything, in her own words.
Scootaloo finished eating her soup and hay and daisy sandwich and smiled. “It’s been great Princess, she's really caring and kind. She can be overprotective at times, but I still love her, no matter what,” she said. A tear slide off Twilight’s cheek. She thought she was doing well but hearing those words from Scootaloo, made her smile.
After they finished eating it was time for presents. Pinkie gave her candy, Rainbow Dash gave her a kite, Rarity had gotten her a purple dress, Applejack and her fellow crusaders got her a framed picture of one of their many exploits. Fluttershy gave her a cute little kitty cat plushie, though she didn’t wrap it. The last present she opened was from Twilight.
Scootaloo opened it, only to be awestruck by it’s contents, scratching at the ground as she stared at it. “A brand new scooter, why?”
Twilight smiled. “I just thought you could use a new one. Your other one is kinda getting old and rusty.I hope you don’t mind this new one. Do you like it Scootaloo?
“Like it?..... I LOVE IT!” she exclaimed rushing over to hug Twilight. This was truly one of her best birthdays ever.
During the party Scootaloo got to hang out with Princess Luna and when the time came for dancing she decided to ask Rumble.
“Hey Rumble, I was wondering, would you like to dance with...me?” she asked a little shyly.
Rumble smiled brightly “Of course Scootaloo, let’s go,” he said pulling Scootaloo on the dance floor.
Once the party was finished it was time to for everpony to leave. Scootaloo had stopped moving and looked to Twilight, with pleading eyes.
“Ca...Can I go see my mom.” The last time Scootaloo saw her mother was back at the hospital and seeing her today would make Scootaloo happy.
Twilight smiled, “Anything for you. How about we get some flowers first?” she said walking off with Scootaloo. They decided to teleport back to ponyville because it was faster.
______________________________________________________________________________
Once there Twilight went into the castle and got a dress on then she pulled out a dress for Scootaloo. Appropriately attired, they walked to the castle's backyard where her mother was buried.
When they got there Twilight gave a bouquet of red roses to Scootaloo, “Go on, I’ll be waiting right here for you” she said smiling softly.
Scootaloo noded and slowly approached the grave, gently laying the flowers on top of it.
“Hi mom, I’m sorry I haven’t visited you since...since you died but I just wanted to tell you my life...well, it’s been a lot different without you, but I still miss you mommy. Twilight has been nice to me, and...well for an egghead she's pretty cool. She's been doing a really wonderful job taking care of me, mom, so you don’t have to worry,” a few tears welled up in Scootaloo’s eyes. “I love you mommy. I always will,” she whispered before walking back to Twilight.
“So…. who’s ready for a special Twilight time?” Twilight asked. Scootaloo simply noded, hugging Twilight.
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Beautiful ending
A beautiful ending to an amazing story.
I loved this story.
Looks like Scootaloo didn't gain her heightened senses this time on her birthday.
You could do a side story based off of the Rainbow Rocks movie.
6040952 Ha, good one.
6040967 hm... I'll think about it.
That ending is a tiertier jerker
6040985 Well the idea is that when Twilight heads there to battle the Sirens Scoots sneaks over there and meets her counterpart.
i like it and i got a question is sliver spoon and scootaloo still fillyfriends?
This the end? Huh, expecting a tad more, could just be me. Great story, please personally inform me of the sequel.
6041411 I think your confusing stories, they were Fillyfriends in the party adoption, in this story they are just friends, Scootaloo does have a crush on Rumble though.
6041457 yeah i am sorry about that didn't mean to and ok
What is that special "Twilight Time"? Is just some one on one time with Twilight and Scootaloo?
6041878 yes.
6041885 I thought so.
First off, I would like to say that you had a very interesting story here. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy it. I felt that the story was a little rushed at times; you just told us what was going on and didn't show enough. Scootaloo's problem's got resolved way too quickly in my opinion, and another thing that felt rushed was that Scootaloo was calling Twilght 'mom' at the same chapter she was adopted by her. I just found that part a little forced.
Also on the punctuation; you didn't indent any of your paragraphs. It will make reading easier if the reader knew when a new paragraph starts. You also forgot to space out some of the paragraphs;also making it easier for the reader.
All-in-all- I liked the idea of this story, but I feel that it could have been better.
6046092 yeah I really doubt I'll ever improve, but I write for fun, and if it makes someone happy they should keep doing it, I trained myself to not be bothered by criticism.
6046317 It's good that you can handle criticisms well, it will help you improve even if you don't notice. I was just giving you some constructive criticism.
You Will Never Be Alone. Is a awesome story !!!!!! cannot wait for the sequel.
thank you for all the hard work on this story
Very good ending I like it. The full book is also good too.
6080946 sorry. But getting an extremely good editor is hard, I'm lucky with the ones I got
So is the sequel almost ready?
6103632 no. Haven't had time to write anything lately, besides I'm waiting till season 5 is done to write the sequel.
6103676 That does make sense if you want it to be coherent to the show.
I loved your story!
I forgot, is the reason why you're waiting to write the sequel till season 5 is over to see if you can work in your story in the show's canon?
6445495 something like that, and I need to see if Starlight gets reformed or just sent to hell, if she's reformed, I could do something with her in my story.
6445534 Will you alter you seventh chapter of Sister Hooves Social? You know, after the episode Brother Hooves Social.
6488635 I might, I just haven't seen that episode yet.
6488839
6488839 Did you see it yet?
aww best twimom story EVER
6491662 Yes, but there really is no reason to alter my story, or change things, this is fanfiction and it pretty much goes against show canon anyways, but I called it, they would do another sisterhooves social and Scootaloo would be part of it.
6537375 Just it was with Big Mac in a dress.
6538273 Yeah but Scoots and Dash were still there.
Twilight sparkle is the best pony
Adorable the feels were strong
6538315 so its been months sincd season 5 ended...when can we expect a sequel?
7016234 I dunno, to be honest, I got to much on my plate right now, and after further looking at my story I'm beginning to think it doesn't need a sequel. I think it might of had a good ending.
7017623 it did, but could still be expanded upon
7017627 Well, if you want to make a sequel to this, you can.
7279408 no,cause I'm no writer. But I know you are
Dear Matt11,
again I have read one of your stories and make a commentary.
I have read the first two chapters.
The introduction is good, the characters are spot on and the story progression is good.
Scootaloo is well characterise, multi-dimensional and with a few softer spots.
The similar introduction in reading like her great idol is a good idea.
But then I read the second chapter and a few things caught my eyes.
First, the story progression rushed in the hospital.
The decision to adopt the filly, without any other thoughts are a little bit contrived for me.
I mean, Twilight, the princess of friendship decides from a foalsitting point of view in ten second flat:
she wanted to adopt a filly?
What if Scootaloo has aunts, or uncles?
Or another solution like to put her first into a foster home.
Yeah I know Twilight feels sympathy for her loss,
but an adoption is way too out of character for her at this point.
I mean she didn't know Scootaloo quite well now.
I think it is to rushed for her.
The next point are the feelings, yes you drove Scootaloo through a few stats of grief, but it is too rushed for me too.
And why didn't she run away from this?
I suppose I would at least try to run away from this.
Because running away from this place means also running away from her sorrow, or emotions at all.
I mean she even fled in Sleepless in Ponyvlle into the dark forest,
so why isn't she ran away from this point?
And now for the last part, why would she felt comfortable with Twilight?
Both in the first and second chapter, she easily let the princess of friendship comforts her.
With Rainbow Dash it is much clearer, that she is the one, which should comfort her.
So the hug is more in character.
I know you have already finished this story and I apologise for my criticism,
but I want to understand, why did you make this decisions in your story.
Yours,
Lethrael
Fantastic Story!
(but I'm guessing the sequel you mentioned in the authors note is not going to be made
)
7017627 I agree
7017623 so no sequel?
8211690 No, I made that one up, its a parody title of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
Sorry, mate. You've got some funny moments, sure. But also too many continuity errors, too many events randomly strung together with no foreshadowing or proper setup. It all adds up to a very rushed story, all the way through. I mean, what kind of filly doesn't know it's her birthday the moment she wakes up?
And you go from major event to major event so quickly, it's like every big event in Equestria happened in a couple weeks. Must be pretty boring the rest of the year...
8270555
And this is why I'm trying to write a new adoption fic with Twilight adopting Scootaloo, I know this one has many flaws, I don't care about the grammar errors, not everything can be perfect, but I can at lest try some things in the new fic, whenever I get to it.
8270603
I try to ignore grammar/spelling errors unless I'm proofreading (officially or unofficially). They're like dandelions on this site: no matter how hard you try to rip 'em all out by the roots, the next story over has more just waiting to shoot up and spread their fluffy white demon seeds all over.
Continuity/logic errors are a cardinal sin to me, though. Thanks for taking my comment as it was meant: honest criticism, pointing out something you can do better at next time. I'll be happy to read your next one. ;)