- Member Since 20th Mar, 2012
- offline last seen January 17th
JaydexTheShadowKnight
I'm an avid writer that enjoys creating human x pony romance stories. If you like what you've read, then perhaps you'd Buy Me A Coffee?
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All right Jaydex, I'll read it. I'll even give it a thumbs up. But seriously, this pee fetish of yours is starting to wear on me.
At this point, I demand that knighty get's that FimFicBookmark fixed.
4341296 Weird how I can only get it to work on my own stories. Lol
Amazing story Jaydex, you do your audience proud.
This was a bit disturbing...
I LOVED THIS! Dash is just adorable in this.
trollando.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/cortina1.jpg
4341197
This, except that I won't read it with that present. "Pee scenes that help lead into the love scenes" Sorry, but I don't share that particular fetish of yours. It's fucking disgusting. Like, in a few different ways. Adios.
Found this, though it is a tumblr page.
I have eagerly awaited this one for months and I will still read it.
Piss: the ultimate killer of boners. Why couldn't it have been two scenes of Dash cumming really, really hard? Or... something that wasn't piss?
This entire thing could have been brilliant but it was ruined by a pee fetish, What a shame. Not going to down vote but not up voting either.
4341635 It is a story killer for a lot of people.
I have to agree, pee scenes ruin stories for me.
I figure I'll take a moment to be a bit more constructive here, and explain why this fails.
A Second-Person Point-of-view story is designed to immerse the reader, and put them in the place of the protagonist. It is extremely useful for things such as self-help books, guides, and other things meant to aid the reader in immersing themselves in the text provided.
Therefore, writing a story meant to primarily immerse the reader, and then including fetishes that are a general turn-off is such a large fail, to the point that I'm certain there are tens of thousands of potential images and .gifs to illustrate just how much of a failure this is. Sex in itself already excludes one-half of your reader base, as you have to identify "you" as male or female, barring some extremely fucking creative writing and one-sided action. So, including something that, generously guessing here, five percent of the readers might enjoy is a major oversight on your part.
tl;dr - Be fucking smarter about your choice of topics and writing POV before you do something dumb like this again. Fetishes are nice and all, but some should really be kept to yourself, or at least out of your general writing.
EDIT - And just so you know, there's absolutely nothing romantic about piss/watersports. It's meant to be humiliating or an act of dominance by someone. It does not belong here at all.
Listen... I know you probably have trouble understanding social norms, but I still think you should have had some inkling that these things don't quite mesh properly. Watersports can be incredibly hot when done properly, but it doesn't belong in the same story as "plenty of dawww and cuddling scenes and plenty of feels", especially when you're referring to your porn as "love scenes".
It just doesn't work.
OH MY GOD YES!!!!!! 5 months in waiting, I am going to read the SHIT out of this when I get home.
I've been pondering if I should read this or not: I like your writing, but watersports are not really my thing.
I would read it now, but I kinda have better things to do than 25K words
It's on my Read Later though.
I'm not much for watersports myself, but I enjoyed the story.
Made me shed tears at a point too.
4341420
Same here... also, who's giving out the dislikes?
I swear some people... as if those things actually do anything.
The pee thingimg3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131006222959/apple-family-fan-club/images/a/aa/Applejack_Gross_Face_Wheat_Worms-(n1318287610651).jpg
But other then that good story man, 9 out of 10.
Ps, I think you one of the bests of human x pony fiction
4342251
Prob because a lot of folks hate watersports, so they can either (A) Comment along those lines, (B) Downvote the story, or (C) Comment and downvote.
You try and tell me with a straght face that watersports is meant to be included in something that is supposed to be daww and cuddly, as Jaydex puts it. ... ... ... Yeah, didn't think so. So, folks are downvoting because it's fucking nasty and entirely out of place.
4341997
I don't like it as much as you, but different people have different fetishes, and sometimes wish to write or read about them. You should respect that instead of swearing at the guy and expecting him to write the same thing everytime
4342391
He doesn't have to write the same thing every time. He just has to write something that, y'know, doesn't have watersports where watersports really shouldn't be.
4342400
Why shouldn't it be there? Because a reader says it should? In the end it's his choice whether he likes it or not, but he shouldn't go swearing at people based upon that decision
4342391
There's nothing wrong with watersports, although I personally hate it, but it's not meant to go alongside something meant to be cute, daw-worthy and cuddly. It's more of a humiliation thing, or used to assert dominance. It can be used in a sexual situation, but not in the way he wrote it.
I personally don't care what he decides to write, it's his prerogative to do whatever he wants to, after all. However, I will gladly criticize the decision to try and force a fetish into a role it has no business being in. Which is the case in this story.
Gotta read a little closer, I knocked it with some reasons why. Although I am an asshole, I do, on occasion, try to back it up with reasons, such as I did this time.
4342412
Okay, and I accept that people have their own opinions and reasons. I mean I for one can't imagine myself ever enjoying the sight of someone peeing, but this guy does, so we should at least try to accept that instead of swearing and calling each other failures.
Not meaning to cause an argument, just wanted to state my opinion
I haven't seen such a high density of sex experts in one comment section in a long time. The amount of opinion stated as fact is at toxic levels. Ignore the haters, author. Maybe in the future, put a bigger 'fuck off' sign in the summary, because frankly, i have no idea what all these idiots are doing reading this fic if they don't like what it was clearly stated to involve.
4342426
You are the only voice of reason in this comment section.
4342426
Your white knighting is super impressive and romantic. I'm sure it will catch the author's attention and land you a sweet tugjob.
4342642
What... what is... wh- im sorry but what is with those... *ahem* pee.. thingy? .
Alright new story woo!
4342642
I prefer to be referred to as a "sexpert." It just rolls off the tongue better.
Like most things in sex ought to.
I know this because I am a sexpert.
4342251 It's funny because I wrote a huge blog pertaining to controversial porn not very long ago.
4342356 Do you have to be so harsh with your words? I mean seriously it's not like the story is going to kill you so words like, "fucking disgusting" is just asinine.
4342761
Yes, mission accomplished
No pee fetish here, so no reading done by me... That and it's WAY too fucking long. (And pee fetishes are just plain disgusting)
4342356
So what if people are disgusted about it? They're not forced to read it. Plus it's already established that Jaydex writes about this fetish. It appeared in his other stories as well, so I don't see why people are still so shocked and disgusted. By this point, it's pretty much 'meh.'
4343036
How did it go?
4343163 It went well, You should pop over on my page if you wanna read it. It's interesting, or at least that what most of everyone who read it said. Lol
4341931 You've never tried scat, then.
Hehehe... so innocent.
Well Jaydex, again you've outdone yourself.
This was well worth the wait and had everything I had hoped for (including the watersports!
) Don't let others give you hate for that, they should learn to Love and Tolerate!!! others likes and beliefs.
I've already touched on this with the other comments, so I won't go to in depth, but watching someone pee is rather off-putting for me. Of course you're entitled to write what you want, but that's just my opinion
My main problem with this is that it is too damn long. When a chapter goes over 15,000 words it's unreasonable, but 24,077? You should have split it up into smaller chapters, because 20,000 words is just too much to read like this. If anything it's more off-putting than the pee fetish
Lots of d'awws were had. Keep up the good work, Jaydex. Don't let the "pee-hating watersports experts" get you down.
For the "pee is not my fetish" people, fine, that's great. But the "watersports can never be used like that", WTF? People get turned on by all sorts of things. Why the heck can't somebody have a romantic pee fetish? It makes a lot more sense (to me) than a shoe fetish, for example. And it's not like the characters explained why they like it or anything, right?
Yeah, about that. So you're all going to say that nobody in the world ever could possibly be wired like that? Pffft.
You made a new watersports story! I'm excited, can't wait to see this, should be enjoyab...
"24,077 words".
*slams lotion bottle on desk* Let's do this shit.
here's how I see it; i'm not into watersports, however this was within acceptable boundaries. It was just viewing, it wasn't as if they were pissing in each others mouths. The sex was well done and all the cuddling was cute. The main criticism i had was the dialogue felt very robotic in some places.
4343181
Alright then. (Jeez these guys get butthurt by the most mundane things.)
Hmm... you know it's kinda strange. I know I follow you, but for some reason it says I'm currently not right now.
HOW DARE YOU HAVE A PEE FETISH GET OF THE SITE I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT YOU ANYMORE PLEASE WRITE STORIES THAT I PERSONALLY APPROVE OF IN THE FUTURE
4344231 ...lol
4344225 That's odd, I could've sworn you were following me a while ago. Lol But yeah, people lose their cool over the simplest of things. But what they can't do in the real world, they do on the internet as they say.
4344258
I always found that to be silly.
4344318 Me too. All I can say is, humans are strange creatures.
4343189 I'm somewhat vanilla when it comes to my fetishes.