• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

JaydexTheShadowKnight


I'm an avid brony that enjoys writing human x pony romance stories.

Comments ( 957 )

About time we got celestia some mate! You have no idea how few we have here:flutterrage:

Loving this! Can't wait for more chapters! :D

I am liking and faving this. Hopefully it will load properly for me to read though it is most likely the server not working right.

Wow! Interesting start! Looking forward to more! :twilightsmile:

Only qualm I have about this is the incredibly long synopsis. Everything else is wonderful.

Well written
Exceptionally detailed in descriptions of Feeling and Locations, really puts you into the story.
Plausible description of why and how she went to Earth. None of that; poof, how did I get here?
:pinkiehappy: so you get a :moustache:

This will be interesting.

I noticed some typos and have to say that in some parts the story seems a little lifeless.
You need to variate the beginnings of your sentences more often and your descriptions of what they do are too long ,it is kind of tireing.
Also the conversation is a little too plain. I mean what do you think how you would talk to flowers or how you would behave if you suddenly meet a mythical creature you've never heared about befor(non the less talking to it).
At least that is how I felt reading this.

What ever.
As I said I'm looking forward to read further chapters:twilightsmile:

937225

I think that there would be quite a few people that would react in the same manner that the human did. I honestly think the Apoplexy that most authors employ is rather overdone, and I honestly could not see myself freaking out in that manner unless it was something immediately life-threatening.

Fight or flight doesn't trigger when someone sees something they have never seen before. It triggers when the brain believes it is in a situation that can potentially cause extreme harm.

The Human was not put into that situation, therefor his reaction, while certainly muted, would be considered rather genuine. To me at least.

After all, he didn't notice the wings until later, and in most mythology, Unicorns are benevolent and gentle beings.

ohhh a 'A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts' but with celestiato me both the princesses are best pony except when they are the bad guy in the the story then it is sad

937271

You are right about all of that and it was not meant as harsh critic. I can only imagine myself a little more shocked. Not the panic or fear version of shock but the fascinated version as if a dream becomes against all odd true.
And asss I said I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

The only problem I've got is Daniels reaction to seeing Celestia. He seems to be accepting seeing a mythical talking horse very quickly, apart from that what you've written so far is awesome :twilightsmile:
Definitely tracking this story :twilightsmile:

937293

I wish to apologize, as my reply was not intended to be construed in as harsh a manner as it was, words sometimes take on emotions of their own after being written. Merely an observation.

You'd better continue this, I am counting on you. This is an awesome chapter, and you have not failed to grab my attention. I hope you do continue this, as I have thoroughly enjoyed it. :heart: Keep going! :moustache:

That moment when you see the story is up and squeal like a schoolgirl in front of your family, repeatedly.

936774
I know right. Maybe I should have shortened it some, but this was the synopsis for a multiple chapter story. I felt it should be a little detailed.

936802
Oh but I do. When I first started work on this, I did some research on here and discovered just how few Celestia romance fics there are.

936838
I will be working on Chapter 2 shortly. And best of all I have some vacation time next week! That's means plenty of time to write! :raritywink:

936858
You my friend are awesome! I've been hoping someone would post this gif in a comment of one of my fics someday! Now all we need is the guy with the chair saying, "Dis Gon B Gud"! :pinkiehappy:

936922
I hope it loads for you and that you enjoy it!

936982
There will be more! Count on it!

937743 make the scene appropiate for it then and I'll gladly post it. :rainbowdetermined2:
( Evil chuckle) But it had better be literary genius! :pinkiesmile:

937161
Thank you for the comments, and I'm glad you're enjoying this. Yeah I realize now that the summary was a bit much, but it's setting the mood for a potentially sizable story. Oh and thanks for the :moustache:!

937283
Yep, this story is a similar to "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts". But as the chapters are added you will see that this is going to be a different story overall. And I agree, I don't like it when Luna and Celestia are the bad guys.

937364
Actually he isn't just immediately accepting her. If you recall there were some spots where he was still finding it hard to believe she was there. And he's understandably in a state of shock at the moment. I know I would be if I met an alicorn like Celestia. Besides, there is far more to come! :trollestia:

937494
Have no worries, Celestia is one of my top favorite ponies! I am very excited about this story, so I will certainly continue it! :trollestia:

937665
You made my day, I literally laughed out loud after reading your comment! :pinkiehappy:

937765
I'll do my best! All I can say is that this fic has loads of potential! :twilightsmile:

937854I know right luna was already nightmare moon making her even more bad is just heartless in my opinion and celestia she turned equestria to as close to a bloody utopia as you can get her being bad is just wrong the only way she would seem bad is if she overreacted to something and thats normal or something very bad has happened to her like possesion

936946
:rainbowlaugh:

937693
Yeah, it's gonna be at least a chapter or two till we reach that point. I want to do the romance justice. After all some people felt I rushed things a bit in "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts" and they might be right.

937917Thanks for laughing,now get back to the chapter makin!:rainbowwild:

A good chapter as always with your stories.:pinkiesmile:

As a side note, I broke into a laughing fit when Celestia pulled the "Are you a wizard?" question.:rainbowlaugh:

Also media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6jmz56xGN1r8rtom.gif

938005
Thanks for the comment! I was a little reluctant about having Celestia use the wizard line, but I was hoping it would make someone laugh. :trollestia: Oh and thanks for the gif! :pinkiehappy:

So far, this reeks of 'wish fulfillment'. I am completely okay with it. :trollestia::yay:

937854

I did it throughout the story, too! D: Everytime something dramatic happened...

"in-depth love stories,"?? You have my attention, I shall read right after movie night!:derpytongue2:

I've enjoyed myself and I must say yet again, You've come a far way since "A Total Eclipse of Their Hearts" in both story telling skills and writing. Your writing has improved vastly though two things that stuck out to me. The minor typos and lack of variation with your sentences. I noticed that some of your sentences had repeated words or lacked a good descriptor. Other than that, you have a very solid story on your hands with a lot of potential.

i..its out!!..Wooot! Must. Read. Asap!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Edit: ok the first chapter was awesome! hope to read more soon! :3 :pinkiehappy:

i got one question for you why isn't this fic in my favorite list!!!!

While I'm not big on human/pony romance stories (especially if they're going to go into explicit detail), this is in depth and captivating enough to warrant a fave. Looking forward to the next chapter. Also have to wonder if you're going to explore Celestia's viewpoint of the modern world a little more as well.

are you sure you not mindreader? cuz it's soo hard to find a good Celestia x OC ship:trollestia:
Anyway, thank you
p.s. your Luna x OC awesome too
p.s.s. who wants to read some moar cool oc x celestia (not clop) search for "a shop fir for princess"

I'm really hooked on this story.Can't wait:twilightangry2:or...I can wait for the next chapter:twilightsmile:.This of course will be in my favorites
I just love when somepony gets really curious on modern day stuff... This paragraph:Celestia looked at the large cube-like metal box filled with strange slots. “What is this thing?” she asked placing an inquisitive hoof to her chin. The pony studied the device very intently and noticed the somewhat loud sound it was making.:rainbowlaugh:

936858 i agree with this comment keep up the good work

i really enjoyed this cant wait for the next chapter keep this up :twilightsmile:

There are to few Human/Celestia fics out on the web, so i am glad that yopu decided to write one, and this one does seem quite promesing.

The teddy bear wasn't invented until the early 1900's, just FYI. 2000 years ago, it would have been a human figure.

938419
:pinkiehappy:

938703
Hope you like it!

938733
Thanks for the comment! :twilightsmile:

938748
You are the second person to point out issues with my sentence structure. Would you mind pointing out a specific sentence or two. If I have an example I can see where my problem is occurring, then I can avoid making the same mistake in the future. :raritywink: I'm not sure where the problem sentences may be. After completely proof-reading the chapter three times, it all seemed to read rather nicely.

938996
Glad you enjoyed it! Check my blog for updates on future chapters! Right now it may be a few days till Chapter 2 posts. It's going to be a pivotal chapter. If I don't do it properly it could ruin things. But once I get past Celestia and Daniel's "getting to know each other" phase, I think additional chapters will be a lot easier with all the material I have in mind. So I just have to get there.

940160
Glad you enjoyed it. And Celestia's take on modern Earth is part of my plan, but it isn't going to be the sole focus of this story. Regardless I will keep your thoughts in mind. :trollestia:

940483
Yeah, the lack of such stories on here, prompted me to work on this. And you are very welcome! You also have my thanks for the kind words regarding my Luna fic! :twilightsmile:

941046
Chapter 2 is well in the works and will be up in due time. I just want to give the next part proper care.

941639 941965 942877
Thanks to the support of all you awesome readers, I will do my best! Keep you eyes peeled for the next chapter. I hope to have it up in a couple of days. I just want to do the next part carefully. :trollestia:

943308
:pinkiegasp: My face is a little red. I didn't even think about a chronological continuity error like that. Well I fixed it by making the plush bear a plush doll. I found out on Wiki that the plush doll or rag doll, has its appearance dating back to 300 BC in Rome. So I think that should fix the problem. Thank you for pointing that out.

944472 Not a big deal at all. Of course, if the portal opens to modern-day America or Canada, it would be a doll of Native American design. If it opens to the European continent...you get the idea.

944472 honestly you take your time most of us readers are patient :twilightsmile:

You are such a good writer, this first chapter was so good! I can only dream of being as good a writer as you, keep it up! :raritywink:
Oh, and I need more chapters to read!

Read this last night. Keep going! Really into it. :pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment