• Member Since 31st Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Jul 2nd, 2017

Crystal Bombshell


I'm just your average brony... Who happens to be transgender (MTF) and lesbian... So yeah. I do write, and I love editing! If you need an editor, just drop me a message!

E

On her way home, Rainbow Dash overhears Twilight start a conversation with Spike that she shouldn't have heard. After listening in, she is confused as to what she should do.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 16 )

Super cute little fic!

When reading, it felt a bit too fast paced. Maybe try space out your conversations and have more parts explaining what the ponies are thinking at the time. Other than that, it was pretty enjoyable.

*sees story has 2 likes and 3 dislikes*

Balance must be maintained!

*upvotes*

I enjoyed it. There's a nice idea in there, and what you've got makes for a great start, but it does need a little refining and expansion is all. :pinkiesmile:

So sweet :pinkiesad2:

I loved it :)

very nice idea! it could use some touching up, and i'd suggest fleshing it out some, but it really is a good story! just seemed kinda fast.

Lovely and cute story, but a kinda rushed. :twilightsmile::heart::rainbowkiss:

Very well done, but a bit too fast... and not enough emotions. It has to be more touching... more heart warming. Maybe you'd like to give it a second thought when you write your next fanfic. Anyway, thank you for writing this one. It was a pleasure to read it.

Cute premise, but the execution is extremely rushed. It's in such a hurry to get to the kiss that there's no time for any meaningful development of, well, anything. The writing is kinda sloppy, the characterization is paper-thin, and there's practically no emotion.

Why the bloody hell does everyone have this idiotic notion of "don`t want to mess up our friendship"?

You know what, have a thumbs down. Just for using this cliche. It`s old enough to make me sneeze from all the dust. And I hate sneezing.

4212140 Love is a thing that has been around since... well, humans got the amygdala in their brain, and here we are several million (billion?) years later, still writing romance stories. :ajsmug:

Seriously, though. A legitimate reason is a legitimate reason, regardless of how common. :facehoof:

4215456

That does not make it any less boring or cringeworthy to write about. Especially so, considering this particular reason is usually a deception of a worst kind.

Zir

a bit fast paced, other than that i thought it was very cute. thumbs up from me, oh, you may want to use a slight slight bit more description, describe sensations more, analogies also help with that. it really helps pull the reader in.

Ended too quickly but otherwise very good story :twilightsmile:

Fast paced but so many d'aaaaaaawwwww's for the sappy parts. Why? I have no idea.

“Hold on, you mean you talked to her?” This was Rarity.

Yes, 'Hi Rarity, you're a sentence now!' XD I love mistakes like these.

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