Rocky Road Trip

by Metool Bard

Sensical Limbo

Chapter 7:
Sensical Limbo

It wasn't long before the Pie sisters arrived at the base of a small grassy knoll in the middle of the forest. Marble and Limestone smiled to each other while Maud's expression remained static.

"Well, that took much longer than anticipated, but at least we're finally here," said Marble.

"Yep," Limestone agreed. "I think we're all ready to take it easy now. No psychic rocks; no golems; no parasprites. Just us and Nana Pinkie spending a peaceful afternoon together."

Maud said nothing, but simply took the candy necklace out of her saddlebag. At the center of the necklace was a purple piece of rock candy that was larger than the others and resembled her Cutie Mark.

"Ooh~. That looks pretty," said Marble, eyeing the necklace with interest. "I'm sure Nana Pinkie's gonna love it."

"It took a while to find the right rock candy," said Maud.

Limestone smirked. "Maud, she would've loved it no matter what rock candy you used."

"I know," said Maud. "But I still wanted it to be special. I don't know when we'll be able to do this again after I leave for my rock research trip."

"We understand, Maud," said Marble, nuzzling Maud's cheek. "That's why we made this trip in the first place. Nana Pinkie would've been heartbroken if you left without saying goodbye to her first."

"Plus, we couldn't let Pinkie have all the fun," Limestone added with a chuckle. "We love you just as much as she does, and we really wanted to show it."

"I gathered," said Maud. "Thank you both again for doing this with me. This is one trip I won't be forgetting anytime soon. For, multiple reasons."

"Yeah, I hear ya," said Limestone, furrowing her brow. "We never really got the full story about that Tom guy, did we? Then again, he never did make much sense. Ah well, I guess it doesn't matter. Let's just go see Nana Pinkie and..."

She was suddenly interrupted by a bright flash of light which gave way to Discord. Marble yelped and hid herself behind Maud, who remained stoic. Limestone's eye twitched.

"Does anypony have a wall I can borrow? I need to slam my head against it," she said.

"Well, that's a fine greeting," Discord huffed, folding his mismatched arms. "Can't a draconequus just walk down the street without everypony thinking he's up to no good?"

"If Pinkie's letters are any indication, you don't necessarily have the greatest track record in the world," said Limestone, narrowing her eyes. "In fact, how do we know you're not behind what we just had to endure?"

"That could mean many things, and not all of them have to do with me," said Discord plainly. "I honestly just got here from Mustangia. I even have an affidavit to that effect. Look."

With a flick of his wrist, the official-looking document appeared out of thin air. Maud looked over it carefully.

"Seems official enough," she said with a shrug.

"I dunno," said Limestone skeptically. "It seems too convenient."

"But didn't Pinkamena say that her friend Fluttershy wants to give him the benefit of the doubt?" asked Marble, finding her voice. "Maybe we should do the same, Limestone."

Limestone opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a sigh. "Look, buddy. Whether you're responsible or not doesn't matter at this point. We've been through a lot today, and we're too tired to argue. We were just about to head on up to Nana Pinkie's house, so if you don't mind..."

"Wait a minute," said Discord, cutting across Limestone. "Nana Pinkie?"

"Yes. She's our grandmother," said Marble.

Discord knitted his brow. "Huh. Pinkie Pie, a grandmother at her age? Well, that's new."

"Oh, nonononono," said Limestone with a giggle. "You're thinking of our sister Pinkie who lives in Ponyville. Our Nana Pinkie lives out here."

"Oh," said Discord. "Well, that must get confusing."

"It did for a while," said Limestone. "But we managed to work through it with a little help from Gregory."

"Gregory?"

"He's the rock the stands outside Nana Pinkie's house," explained Maud. "He's right over there."

Discord looked at where Maud was pointing and did a double take. There was no trace of a cottage or any sort of house on the grassy knoll. Instead, there was a single stone made of granite with an inscription engraved on it sticking out of the ground. Discord flew over to the stone and read the inscription.

Welcome to the home of Pinkamena Diana Pie (not to be confused with her amazing granddaughter, Pinkamena Diane Pie)

Giggle at the Ghosties

Please do not dig up the front lawn.

Discord stroked his goatee for a moment before turning back to the Pie sisters. "Um, quick question. Where is this house you're talking about?" he asked. "I don't see it."

"That's because it's underground," said Maud.

"Uh-huh," said Discord, more intrigued than perplexed. "Interesting. So, how do you get to it? Is there a secret passage or something?"

"Oh, we can't go in Nana Pinkie's house," said Marble. "It's too small."

Discord tilted his head and continued stroking his chin. "Too, small you say?"

"Yeah. It only has room for one pony," said Limestone.

"Well, can't she come out and see you?" inquired Discord.

"Afraid not," said Limestone with a shake of her head. "See, she's... Um, what's a nice way to put it?"

"Living impaired?" suggesting Marble.

"Yeah, let's go with that," said Limestone.

Discord paused for a moment as he connected the dots. "So, just so we're clear, you're all well aware that she's..."

"Passed on, yes," said Maud.

"And yet you call her coffin a house."

"Well, a house is a place of residence," said Limestone with a shrug. "And, well, that's where she's gonna reside for the rest of eternity."

"Huh," said Discord with a contemplative nod. "That's quite fascinating, actually. It follows logic, which I'm usually not a big fan of, but it's a very bizarre logic. It's like it makes sense and doesn't make sense at the same time, which in and of itself doesn't make sense. I think I'm going to need to spend more time with Pinkie Pie. I'm learning so many things about her today that make her that much more appealing as a friend."

The sisters looked at each other for a moment and shared a shrug before turing back to Discord.

"We're, glad you feel that way," said Limestone. "Pinkie's sure gonna love to hear that. Maybe you really are reformed."

"That isn't the first time I heard that today," said Discord with a lighthearted chuckle. Just then, a lightbulb appeared over his head randomly. "Oh, yes! I forgot. I came here to do something."

"You did?" asked Maud.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," said Discord, taking the lightbulb and eating it. "See, while in Mustangia, I got a message on my Chaos Pager saying that my chaos magic was acting on its own accord somewhere in this area. You wouldn't happen to have noticed anything, would you?"

"You mean like a floating psychic rock that wanted to take over our rock farm and make Maud his personal trophy?" said Limestone.

"Yes, exactly like that," said Discord with a nod. "I'm just going out on a limb here, but did the rock go by the name of Tom by any chance?"

Maud blinked. "How did you know?"

"I'm the one who created him many moons ago," said Discord. "You can try asking Rarity about it, but she's probably going to deny everything."

"That explains so much," said Limestone.

"Quite," said Discord. "So, have you seen him?"

"Oh, he's over there," said Limestone, pointing down the trail. "And there. And there, and there, and there, and there, and..."

"I get the picture," interrupted Discord, holding up a stop sign. "Well, thank you for pointing me in the right direction, ladies. I'll just go tidy up that mess; you girls enjoy your time with your grandmother. Ta-ta!"

With that, he snapped his fingers and disappeared in a burst of light.

"Well, I know what I'm going to write about in my next letter to Pinkie," said Limestone.

"Same here," Marble concurred. "What about you, Maud?"

But Maud was not there. As soon as Discord disappeared, she made her way up the grassy knoll to the headstone.

"Hello, Nana Pinkie," she said, placing the candy necklace in front of the stone. "I made this for you. I hope you like it."

She then placed a hoof on the headstone and traced over the inscription. "I'm, actually going away soon. I got into a rocktorate program, and it's going to mean a lot for my future. I just wanted to tell you that before I left."

There was a heavy silence, broken only by Marble and Limestone's muffled hoofsteps as they made their way up the hill. After a pause, Maud shook her head.

"Don't say that, Nana Pinkie," she said. "I'm not going away forever. I'll still come by to visit you. I, just don't know, when that will be..."

She bowed her head as she shed a single tear. She then jerked her head up as she felt Marble and Limestone nuzzle up to her.

"It's okay, Maud," cooed Marble. "Nana Pinkie's just concerned about you. There's no need to cry."

"I, wasn't crying," said Maud, blushing slightly.

"Sure you weren't," said Limestone with a knowing smirk. "Admit it, Stick-in-the-Maud. You really are a big softy deep down, and I mean that in the best way possible."

Maud breathed out a snicker and pulled her sisters close. "I can't thank you two enough for coming out here with me. I really appreciate it," she said.

"Hey, thank you for letting us tag along," said Limestone. "We're really gonna miss you, Maud."

"Indeed we are," whispered Marble. "But at the same time, we're very proud of you."

"I know," said Maud. "Let's stay like this for a little while longer before we head back home. I'm fairly certain we can make it back before the rock shortage hits."

"Sounds good to me," said Limestone, resting her head on Maud's forelegs. "At least it'll give Discord some time to get Tom out of our way."

"Speaking of Tom, I wonder what Discord's going to do with him," mused Marble.

***

"These are parts of my body, so they're mine!"

"No, they're mine! And that goes for you, too!"

"Both of you are wrong! All of these pieces belong to me!"

Discord stared down at the dirt road as a bunch of pebbles that once formed Tom bickered and argued amongst themselves. He sighed and shook his head.

"You know, you're lucky this turned out the way it did, Tom," he said, summoning a dustpan and broom which started sweeping up the pebbles by themselves. "If you by some miracle succeeded in your bizarre scheme, those nice ponies would've told Pinkie. And then Pinkie would've told Fluttershy, and Fluttershy would've said 'Not now, I'm trying to feed my chickens.' But after she was done doing that, she'd be very mad at me, and I would not be in my happy place."

He then lifted the dustpan and gave the pebbles a cold glare. "And quite frankly, neither would you."

The pebbles didn't even bother to acknowledge their creator. They were too busy arguing.

"Hmm. Seems I'm not getting through to you," Discord said thoughtfully. "Egh, I hate it when my own chaotic creations don't listen to me. That's probably why I never used my powers to create my own friends, now that I think about it. Oh well. I guess I'll just make you useful. After all, I did promise Mustangia that I'd help clean up after that epic showdown, and they just so happen to need some sidewalk gravel..."

One of the pebbles turned to Discord. "Wait, wha—?"

"Oh, now you decide to listen, hmm?" said Discord, arching an eyebrow. "Well, sorry Tom old boy. If I have to be reformed and change my ways for the benefit of ponykind, then so should you. Besides, you could've jeopardized my friendship with Fluttershy, and that's a big no-no in my book."

"W-wait! No! Please, anything but that!" exclaimed Tom. "Have mercy!"

"And rob you of your own chance at redemption?" asked Discord with a sly smile. "Now what kind of friend would I be if I did that?"

Before Tom could protest, Discord snapped his fingers. As the two of them disappeared, a lighthearted yet sinister chuckle echoed throughout the forest.

The End

Comments

[Slendermare]

Tom?

[keam]

Discord, did you possibly forget tone of the bigger parts of Tom?

[keam]

4272449
4272450
Well, the exactly term use din the show is Bazinga, but I thought that it was close enough to be Big Bang Theory reference.... Oh well, guess it's just me being a big nerd, as always!

[Metool Bard]

4272354 What bigger parts? Didn't you see what happened to the last rock that tried to hurt Maud's family?

[Themaskedferret]

*snerk* Bravo. This was very sweet and funny. Excellently done!

[Metool Bard]

4275529 Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[keam]

4274483
Point

[theNDinspector]

Meeting Nana Pinkie was a bit...unexpected, but it worked. Anyways, this was a great, fun little story. I look forward to more.

[ShadowLDrago]

"Does anypony have a wall I can borrow? I need to slam my head against it," she said.

BEST PONY!

"Well, that's a fine greeting," Discord huffed, folding his mismatched arms. "Can't a draconequus just walk down the street without everypony thinking he's up to no good?"

Considering your track record, no.

"Living impaired?" suggesting Marble.

Good one..

he's..."
"Passed on, yes," said Maud.
"And yet you call her coffin a house."
"Well, a house is a place of residence," said Limestone with a shrug. "And, well, that's where she's gonna reside for the rest of eternity."

That, is simultanously genius, and stupid, it makes no sense to the point where it loops back, does the can can and actually does!

Before Tom could protest, Discord snapped his fingers. As the two of them disappeared, a lighthearted yet sinister chuckle echoed throughout the forest.

That gives me the shivers, because it reminds me that while Discord IS reformed, he's still the Lord of Chaos and very imaginative.

[ColdGoldLazarus]

Ooh, nice. I loved this fic from beginning to end!

[Metool Bard]

6113061 Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Xerzes]

This was fun.

[superfun]

This was a sweet and hilarious story.

[Boulder]

Tom, " Look, Ma, I'm roadkill...err...roadfill !"
And boy is he needed.
ounewsbureau.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Kotwicki-pothole-fun-main-art.jpg
R.I.P. Tom
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