• Member Since 19th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 24th, 2021

Ravings1


An account that has set sun.

T

Zach had always swore that he would never let his friends be attacked, even if it cost him his own life. Well, the day came where he had to prove his word, when a small group of thugs stop them and try to rob them, he disobeys and fights them. Luckily, his friends made it out safely, but he lost his life in the battle, he was not mad though, he was happy that his friends get to live to see another day.

Now he was going to the afterlife... or so he thought. Turns out, he was headed to a much different place, a place that should not have existed, well, he thought it did not exist anyway.


VERY special thanks to jjamess10 for the cover!

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 48 )

4252954
I sell propane and propane accessories. That's all i have to say.

I wonder what ells he can do maybe some thing from dead space? skyrim? halo? or perhaps something from portal 2?

Ok, two things:
1. What is 'Umarekawari" even supposed to mean

and

2.

As his vision cleared, he found himself in the middle of a... forest?

Because there's no other location where he could've possibly woken up

4545167

Umarekawari means revival or rebirth in Japanese. As for him waking up in the forest, I just found it fitting.

4545727
I found myself...playing ff 10 music in my head as I read the fighting scene... http://youtu.be/C34BzC7rnos
Btw nice job.

[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4A3c2RKTJ4I&feature=kp] I thought of this while the fight was going on.
I love this story!
You earned yourself a like, read later, and a comment!

Enjoyed the new chapter
:yay:

4713392

I'm glad you did. :pinkiehappy:

4778124

Soon my friend.... soon.

Why doesn't this have more likes?

4779540

Sure, why not? :pinkiehappy:

Aright, first few paragraphs and I've already spotted one of my biggest pet peeves.
They aren't conjugating anything!
People don't speak like that!
ie : it seems you are stuck
Should be
It seems you're stuck
In short, instead of 'you are', say 'you're'.
Instead of 'I am' say 'I'm'
If you don't follow the simple rules of casual speech conjugation, it makes your dialogue seem REALLY awkward. And not in a socially awkward way, just an awkward speech pattern.
Also see some examples of 'show don't tell' from authors like Legionary or... Well, some other popular action authors. I found the action scenes in Oskar Osäker: true omnivore and Emerald Gleaner: Viral Unicorn (two of my favorite fics ever) to be really good references for action scenes. Don't just say that he did something and where it happened, tell the effects that it had on both the attacker and the receiver, and describe what they did to recover, or not recover from the hit.

4811985

My apologies, I know what you mean. You have a very good point, when I'm writing, I notice I tend to do that. I have this little mindset that's like, "Okay, I'm writing, so no conjectures (which is true in some cases), but people are talking so yes conjectures." So I use conjectures, but not all the time, such as in normal, everyday talk.

I just thought no one would really mind that, but now I see some do. I'll be going through and correcting them. Thank you.

EDIT:

Also, I'll do my best with that last part you said, 'don't say what he did, tell the affects' I'll keep that in mind for future chapters/stories. Again, thanks.

Sorry to be that guy, buuut, search this page for "Rm"
It is supposed to be arm.

Again sorry, gj btw.

4931456

Don't be afraid to be that guy, I appreciate it when people point out misspellings in my story. (I don't have an editor.)

But since I'm using an IPad, I can't seem to find the misspelled word. Any help where it is maybe?:twilightblush:

4932357
Well here ya go

"X-Valor quickly swung it's it Rm to the left, nailing Zach again. The white alicorn slammed into the ground, creating a trail as he smashed through it.
"Oh... that's going to be another trip to the hospital."

What does Umarekawari mean?

Aww, he couldn't stay...

4939300

Umarekawari means rebirth in Japanese.


4939430

Yeah... but the question is, was it even real in the first place?

4939568
I doubt his body would just make him go through pain while he was shot......and the 3 princesses were conversing after...

4939579

Darn it, I didn't trick you. :trixieshiftleft:

4939595
I'm smarter than I look.

4939599

I can see that. Well, look on the bright side, he can at least see his friends back on earth again.

4939603
True, but now he has 3 kind people mourning over him, not like whatever force brought him there could bring his friends...

4939613

Yeah, that's one of the downsides. But remember he hasn't discovered all of his powers. *hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge*

4939633
So....there will be a s-s-s-sequal?

And did he even want to stay? Because if I went, I wouldn't want to come back.

4939641

There will indeed be a sequel. And as for him wanting to go back or not, he wanted to go back just to be with his friends again, but he also wanted to stay, to protect his new found friends, as he had found that his purpose in Equestria. So yeah, he wanted to go, but at the same time, he didn't want to go.

4939670 Next time tell us your making a sequel you tease now I've got to follow you so I know when it comes out

4948903

I tend to give hints to when a sequel will be due. Thanks for the follow by the way! All I can say is about the sequels, is that it may be a while. Not that I don't know what to write, but I'm holding off on this for now, and will be working on my two current stories.

"Incoming!" Zach said, getting everyone's attention. Applejack, Rainbow and Vinyl quickly moved away from the targeted area. Some umbralings tried to do the same, but it was to late. Zach slammed into the ground, utterly destroying and killing the remaining umbralings. The three mares covered there eyes (save for Vinyl, who now had a look of awe on her face) from the bright red magical explosion. Zach got back on his hooves, looking around for any other surviving umbralings, but spotted none.

Okay, THAT was AWESOME!

"Oh, how I'm loving this already." He silently said to himself with a smile on his face

I'll say!:pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Chrome Masquerade deleted Oct 14th, 2014

Author's Note: So, I mentioned Luna's height, so might as well explain this.

The ponies a human height, so around six feet tall. Zach was, and still is, 5'6". Twilight is about his height, give or take an inch or two. The other mares are about three to four inches shorter than him, while stallions are his height, or an inch or two or three taller (Cadence is about as tall as a stallion, so she would be a couple inches taller than him).

Luna would be about 7'8"ish, while Celestia is an exact twelve feet tall.

So, the average height of: Fillies and colts: 3'0" Mares: 5'4" Stallions: 5'7" And all the princess's will all grow to be 12'0" tall.

Just felt I needed to explain that.

Maybe in Equestrian measurements, but what about our measures?

[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=xrQ1QnNevPw]

"Too low." He thought, seeing how the roof was not tall enough for him to use his charge. His thoughts were interrupted however when a few spikes lodged themselves into his flesh. He looked for a way to use his charge, his eyes soon fell upon the broken window. Smiling, he ran out it, flying to the ground. Looking back, he saw what he had hoped, Lizoror had followed him out, he landed on the ground, immediately performing his charge. He launched into the air as soon as Lizoror landed.

The lizard had seen Zach go up, so it began to fire spikes at him. However, it could not get a good shot on him, which was his downfall. Zach landed, creating a magical explosion, sending Lizoror up against a wall. Because of the way it landed against the wall, the plating forced the lizards head to bend at an unnatural angle, breaking its neck. The lifeless corpse then fell to the ground, Zach just looked at it before saying.

"Bloody bogan."

FATALITY!

Wow! I mean... WOW!
This was possibly the most awesome fanfic that i have EVER read!:rainbowwild:

It had some comedy, some sad points, and the action scenes were a pure delight to the imagination. If you can write stories like this, you're gonna go far!

5 points (and :rainbowwild::rainbowwild:) on the :yay:itude meter! I hope your future stories are just as good!

5141952

Thank you! I'm sure you'll be looking forward to the sequel that may or may not be coming out soon.

Okay, no quotes, no talking about my world, no saying they are cartoons, just pretend you are new here. Alright.

You restored the faith you lost last chapter because I thought you where going to tell Twilight that he was human... keep up the good work

Why was the attack on Titan opening in my head since the umbralings appeared

That was some Infamous shit.

IKR

I'm surprised no ones reacted to his wounds. He also would look a little disheveled since he was thrown around.

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