Questions and Answers 01
The room was empty, save for two chairs and a single occupant. A young man was sitting on one of them - a comfortable picnic chair with a steaming cup of coffee in the armrest holder. He was dressed all in black - black sweatpants, black socks and black shirt. His long hair was unbound and hiding his face as he furiously typed away on the slightly battered laptop that was set on his knees. Suddenly he paused and looked up, as if he could sense being watched.
“Ah, you’re here already?” He asked. His face was a bit gaunt and his beard was unshaven… The overall effect made him look like Jesus a bit. “Good. Welcome, dear readers, to the first Questions and Answers with the Overlord. I’m your host, the Author, or just Malcho if you prefer that.”
“Now…” The Author continued, leaning back in his seat. “I believe that it’s time for the star of the show. Please welcome… The Overlord!” The man quickly wrote something on the laptop and a door appeared in the wall. A second later it opened, allowing for the Overlord’s imposing figure to enter. His eyes scanned the room, his body tensing in the unknown setting...
“Welcome, your Evilness.” Malcho’s voice drew the Overlord’s attention to him, his burning eyes setting on the human. To his credit, the Author didn’t flinch, he just smiled. “Come, take a seat.” He said, motioning to the second chair in the room.
The Overlord looked over the throne, an exact replica of his own, before walking over to it and sitting down. Even in that pose he was as menacing as usual…
“Now, Overlord, do you know who I am?” Malcho asked.
“You are the Author.” The Overlord replied simply. He could recognize one of the two beings who were greater than him… “And before you ask, I guess that you are breaking the Fourth Wall for a reason.”
“Well…” Malcho waved a hand. “I wouldn’t call it breaking the Fourth Wall, at least not in the way Pinkie Pie does it…” The two humans looked around, as if expecting the party pony to pop in. After a few seconds of nothing happening the two shared a sigh of relief.
“Right… Thank goodness she didn’t come… It would be hard to deal with her.” Malcho said before taking a sip from the cup of coffee. “Anyway, welcome to your first Questions and Answers session. Here your fans will ask questions and you…”
“Will answer them.” The Overlord finished for him.
“Exactly. Now, are you ready?”
“I guess so. I would like to return as fast as I can anyway. Nightmare was still sleeping, and I want to get back before she wakes up… She’s the type that likes to cuddle in the morning, you know?” He asked, to which Malcho nodded.
“Yeah, I know. I’m writing her, after all. Now, let’s begin.” The Author started the blog post with the Questions and browsed through them. “Hmm… Not as many questions as I would’ve liked… Less than a dozen… Oh well. Now, where to begin with… Ah. I see one that’s directed to me.”
“Now, we’ll begin with the question from Cade Adams from Equestria… He’s asking me: “Jesus… What’s an overlord?” Well, I think that my guest is better to answer that question.” The Author turned around to look at the other human in the room.
“Well, Cade, Overlord is a title given to a powerful lord, one who rules over many peasants and other lords. In this situation I’m an Evil Overlord, the archetypal fantasy villain. My job is to rule over the weak, destroy those who oppose me and have better shags than you.”
“Ouch… That was a bad one.” Malcho commented with a chuckle as he dismissed the question. “You do get a lot of pussy, don’t you?”
“You know better than me.” The Overlord answered with a menacing chuckle.
“That I do…” The Author grinned. “Now, for the next question. Since we’re on that theme, I’m bringing you Serefin from TV World, Inaba. He asks: Do you usually bang someone after taking them to your tower?” The human looked at the Overlord for an answer.
“What kind of question is that?” The Overlord rumbled. Malcho nodded and tapped a few times on the laptop’s keyboard, bringing Serefin into the room.
The newcomer barely had the time to blink as the Overlord shot a spell at his head. His brain exploded spectacularly, not unlike that scene in Scanners.
“Did you have to do it like that?” The Author asked, not hiding his disgust as he wiped a few chunks of Serefin from himself. “It’s going to take me forever to get him out of my hair…”
“Yes.” Was the Overlord’s short reply. “Next?”
“Well, since we’re on the theme… Cyberpunked from Georgia asks: How long does it take you to clean your armor, on average? That many spikes, it doesn't look like it'd go in a warm wash with a cup of detergent.”
“I don’t know.” The Overlord shrugged. “I don’t clean them… I have several suits of armor and I just change them while giving the parts to the Blues to wash.”
“Practical as always.” Malcho added his comment with a nod. “Now… We can group the remaining questions in three categories: Religion, Politics and Relationships. Which one should we start with?”
“Hmm…” The Overlord rubbed his chin in thought. “Let’s start with the most evil one - Politics.”
“The many blood-sucking insects, eh?” Both chuckled at the old joke. “Alright then. First, Tonto from the space between worlds, from where he watches your magnificent adventure…”
“A bit stalker-ish, if you ask me…” The Overlord quipped.
“Yeah…” Malcho nodded in agreement. “He’s asking: When you begin your glorious conquest of Equestria, will you reconstruct your old EMpire in the badlands as well? And while we’re at it, you may answer the question of NightShadow76 from Equestria: Even though it may be foolish of me to ask, but are you willing to accept a pony or two in your ranks?”
“Well, Tonto the stalker, I doubt you should even ask your question.” The Overlord started in a matter-of-fact tone. “What kind of Overlord would I be without an Empire to rule? And NightShadow, the same. I’m going to need subjects to rule over, after all.”
“Very true.” Malcho nodded. “Very true. You know, you need to reconstruct the Dark Tower. After all, you need a public representation of your power.”
“You’re right. Do you think you can make it in a few chapters?”
“I’ll see what I can do.” The Author promised. “Now, I’m going to ignore Meleekanos’ question since I doubt you even care about Communism…” The Overlord nodded in agreement.
“The only social-economic system I care about is mine.” He interjected.
“Yes… So let’s go with Religion…” The two shared a grimace at the word, though the Overlord’s was hidden by his helmet. “Now, Prof_Omnom from Mount Anarch, Titan, asks if you’re a heretic…”
“I’d say no. I don’t follow any gods, after all, and I don’t plan on joining any religions in the future. Though I wouldn’t mind having a religion after me…” You could see the Overlord forming plans as he said that, thinking of the details of becoming a deity…
“I’ll consider it. And with that you also answered the question of World Bearer of the Warp. He wanted you to join the Four Gods of Chaos…”
“Heh… As if I’d ever do something like that. They may be a merry bunch, but I bow to noone.” The Overlord snorted in disgust.
“Exactly. And with that we move onto the most interesting questions…” Malcho said with a smirk, prompting the Overlord to glare at him. “Oh, don’t give me that look, you know that you’d enjoy yourself as well if the roles were reversed.”
The Overlord could only growl at that. It was true…
“Now, who should we begin with… Aha. This guy… Xu… Xlef… Ugh…” He gave up on trying to pronounce the name and tapped the laptop’s keyboard a few times. The word xluferx materialized in the air above.
“This guy from Arequipa with the unpronounceable name is wondering why you chose Luna to be your Mistress instead of her sister.” Malcho looked at the Overlord just as the armored human growled.
“Nobody questions my decisions! Bring him here to be executed! And give me a weapon!” He bellowed.
“Alright, alright… Sheesh! Hold your horses!” Malcho sighed as he typed on his keyboard again. A log appeared in front of the Overlord’s throne, the axe that was aptly named The Executioner stuck in it. The Overlord stood from his throne and lifted the massive weapon without difficulty before giving it a few test swings. Nodding in satisfaction he looked at the Author, who nodded back and pressed a single key on his keyboard.
xluferx appeared in the room, bound and gagged, his neck and head laying on the log. The Overlord lifted The Executioner in the air, holding it briefly before bringing it down. There was a thud as his victim was decapitated, the head rolling off somewhere.
“Satisfied?” The Author asked, completely unphased by the gruesome execution.
“Very much.” The Overlord replied, cradling the weapon as he returned to the throne.
“Good. But seriously, why only one and not both Alicorns?” Malcho asked in curiosity. The Overlord sighed, knowing that he can’t act against him at all, and mumbled something.
“What was that?” The Author asked, straining to hear.
"Luna's best pony..." The Overlord mumbled, to the Author’s amusement. The armored human glared at his creator as the latter almost fell from the chair with laughter. It took him a few minutes before he could compose himself enough to speak again.
“Oh god…” He chuckled. “Best pony… This is going to be fun in the future…” He chuckled again and leaned back. “Oh, I needed that…”
“Just get on with it…” The Overlord growled.
“Heh… Alright, that leaves us with the question of refferee from Marelaysia…” The Author paused for a moment before shaking his head. “Damn horse puns…”
“And to think that there will be more of them coming…” The Overlord nodded in sympathy.
“Yeah…”
“At least you don’t live in horsepun-land.”
“True…” Now it was Malcho’s turn to nod in sympathy. “Anyway, back to the show. His, or her, question has two parts. The first is: You and NMM were together for quite some time yes? Which leads to the question of how you never had a successor as of yet.” The two humans looked at each other before the Overlord sighed.
“Seriously? Someone has to ask that? Are they blind or something? I mean, I’m a human, she’s a pony. Our genetics are incompatible. I can’t sire a heir from her” He explained.
“Well…” The Author rubbed his chin in thought. “Maybe they have a spell for that?” He asked, looking back at his character.
“You think? They didn’t have anything like that when I came to Equestria.”
“Well, a thousand years is a lot of time…”
“True… I guess I should kidnap a unicorn doctor or two.” The Overlord said, making another plan in the process.
“Yeah. And now for the second part of question…” Malcho smirked before he read it. “Are you impotent?”
Silence reigned for a few minutes as the Author struggled to keep his chuckled in. The Overlord stayed silent, unmoving… As if he had shut down… Only the glow from his burning eyes intensified…
Then it started… His armor rattled as he shook in rage. The light in the room seemed to move away, as if frightened and repulsed by him…
“WHAT?” His shout was probably loud enough to be heard in the neighboring universes… It was definitely enough to deafen the Author for a bit…
“Ouch…” He mumbled, rubbing his ears.
“How dare he? How dares a lowly peasant even presume that? Gnarl! Send the Minions after this “refferee” pony… person… thing! I want him dragged in the dungeons! I shall deal with him personally!”
With that the Overlord stood up and stormed out of the door and back in his fanfiction. The Author continued to rub at his ears for a few more seconds before sighing.
“Damn… I think I lost the hearing in my left ear…” He grumbled and leaned back in his chair. “And he didn’t even wait to be dismissed… Or to answer Val’s question… Oh well, it was for the better. And just for him, I’m going to say this: what kind of Overlord will he be if he does everything when there are Minions to do the same?”
“Well, that concludes this Question and Answer session. Follow my story to see when the next one is going to be, as well as who will be the starring guests.” He typed something on his keyboard before waving to the readers.
“Have fun.”
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I used to do something like this, but I think your idea is better.
4713140 Do you mean the Ask Choten thing in the LoHAV group?
4713143 Yup
I shall now post an infuriating question for the Overlord to answer: What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen Swallow? Also, another question for the shits and/or giggles: Do you use justin beiber music to torture your prisoners? Also, nice Q&A, put those questions in the next one you do. *Evils away*
4713199 Remember the questions and ask them in the blog post I'll make when I reach that point.
My ears hurt for some reason. By the way, a question for a later Q&A session: from Mareland (Ireland pun), Swimming Dalek inquires the following: What's your favorite one of NMM's lines? As in, the one you like to hear her say the best? Or do you prefer the evil laugh the most? Okay, I have weird ideas in my head. I have ADHD, it's practically unavoidable. Go ahead and shoot me, why don't ya?
I have a question but is some evil lord like or similar to him going to be in the story also all hail the overlord master of death
it's cause hes obviously fat with a very good illusion spell
GOD DAMN I WANTED TO BE DROWNED IN CHOCLATE
4713285 Ask it on the next Q&A Blog post.
4713291 Probably not. Unless you count Sombra...
4713314 You do realize that while it may be your preferred method of death it doesn't mean he will do it?
4713315 yes but I still wanna die in choclate
4713334 Tough luck.
4713202 Don't follow you so am not notified of your blog posts.
4713343 I provided a link to this Q&A session's blog post in the A/N, and I'll do it in the future.
4713346 Just PM me when you post the blog, too lazy to actively search it out.
will you reconstruct your old EMpire in the badlands as well
1. Extra capitalisation.
This message has been brought to you by the automated and semi-intelligent reply system for refferee. He is currently indisposed right now due to as he put it; 'Lost his sides and is currently being dragged away to the unknown by some smelly green monsters with said sides.'
We once again apologize for his absence and we thank you for understanding and hope to enjoy a comment from our dear user again
4713484 It's like that in the blog. I copy/pasted it directly from there.
And that automated message...
Well, it seems that we have lost a potential ally, the emo-summoner dude. (Implying if Serefin was going to ressurect that fic.)
R.I.P in piece, Serefin.
Was killed by the Overlord.
4713540 He's still in the dungeons, you know.
D: i died,
anyways, Luna best pony!
4713545
Well, that is somewhat reassuring.
Anyways, I agree on your decision on Luna being best pony.
4713546 You asked for it.
4713575 Of course, his state of mind and body aren't guaranteed if he comes out of there...
4713545 Wait, wasn't Serefin head exploded?
4713591 *Checks story*
*Promptly facepalms*
I'm an idiot... I blame sleep deprivation.
And I was hoping for a real chapter...
4713595 You'll get it when the time comes.
4713682 I'm looking forward to seeing it.
I find it amusing that my communism question was skipped over like that. I love it.
This was honestly better than I could've asked. Bravo, Malcho! BRAVO!
I have a question:
Will there be devices hat make use of gunpowder or other high-explosive substances?
Luna is number one
I hate you now.
Shouldn't things like this be reserved for blog posts and not for filler that has barely anything to do with the plot/story? I think this is little too close to meta to be considered an acceptable chapter.
4714207 4714369 4715210 Thank you.
4714613 Maybe. I haven't decided yet.
4716090
4716313 Eh, it got me Featured again, so it should be acceptable.
And here's the moment I stop following this story.
4716465
Seriously? Because of one chapter made to lighten up the mood?
4716485 Yes. One chapter that utterly destroyed the mood.
4716487 Well, it's your opinion and you're entitled to it.
4716492 Yep.
4716428 No problem thanks for the reply
4716428 No, it shouldn't. Even less so when it serves little to no purpose to the overall story. It's a cheap way to increase word/view count while at the same time giving the reader(s) nothing of value.
But apparently that is acceptable. I'm out.
You can't go around killing off your readers, it's like executing farmers because they grow stuff that's green. You'll never get anywhere and only shoot yourself in the foot. Just goes to show that some Overlords have no idea what they're doing.
I have one now: what are you limitations as a mage, how powerful are you, what's your favorite spell?
What made our lord and master decide to journey to such a vile and disgusting place as Equestria? Why not someplace that would prove more fruitful?
P.S. I had to delete my other comment because of an error I could not fix as my editing does not work for me.
4716492
Honestly, it is rather awkwardly placed. If you'd waited and placed the Q&A at the end like a bonus chapter or something, that probably would have been fine. Alternatively, if you'd waited until you had, like, eight to ten actual chapters and titled it "intermission" I'd be ok with that, too. As it stands, though, it really is just a stumbling block for mood, immersion, and pacing.
Wow, that is quite a bit of hate over this Q&A, which befuddles me to no end. I found this chapter to be entertaining and of value, to attempt to negate the damage done by another. This Q&A while not canon to the story (I hope) was still a nice filler while I waited for the next chapter. That's just me though; you keep up your good work and remember to avoid the vengeful ricochet that tends to happen due to people's deficient way of understanding a chapter made to keep us, the readers happy.
But that's just my way of thinking, if you disagree please state a detailed reason as too why.
I am just going to put this here because of a extremely morbid curiosity.
"What are your favorite types of death to deal?"
Is that you quoting him or a grammar mistake?
Moar updates!
you do Q&A's!? sweet!
4713199
...dang! there went my first question
luna getting more "tail" then she has in the last thousand years
ok!
so a question for celestia instead. I know she was glaring at the moon in the previous chapter. think she has any idea why here sister is doing that?
Love this story, the minions are hilarious!