• Published 24th Mar 2014
  • 2,509 Views, 72 Comments

Titanfall: Guns and Stuff - Good Christian Ethesto



When a group of Titanfallers are summoned to Equestria, their unique skills will come in handy with helping the locals with their problems. After all, there doesn't exist a problem that guns can't fix.

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An end, once and for all.

5-star Omega Sergeant General Thompson's face morphed into a cruel rendition of an upset thing. He wasn't even 60% happy at the moment, and that was bad. "Truly you jest, Iron Will. Truly what you say is an ill-thought fabrication formed by a wicked and sleep-deprived brain. For, if what you say is true, swift retribution will upon your head the likes of which you've never imagined. You'll be so dead, you'll make the ponies look like alive."

Iron Will laughed, a throaty chuckle that didn't sound right from someone with such a deep voice. "I mean what I said, and it's not me who will be dying."

"What do you mean? Of course you'll be dying," stated Commander and Master Chief Stevenson with utmost certainty. "We're going to kill you, and we won't take 'no' for an answer."

"Not I kill you first!" He called out, before jumping up.

"Quick, shoot him!" Ordered Lord Shepard-Commander Ramierez, his own titan aiming its gun at the jumping humanitaur and firing bullets out with speed. But they all missed as Iron Will suddenly transformed into a human too! He had a gun and everything.

"Ahahaha, I'm not really a humanitaur, that was a disguise. I'm also a human, much like you all."

The other humans instantly stopped shooting at him. "Wait, you've been a human too all along? Why didn't you say anything?" Burped Supreme Fleet Admiral Davis.

The human formerly-known as 'Iron Will' nervously fiddled with his fingers, refusing to make eye-contact. "I was scared you guys wouldn't like me. You're all so cool, and I'm just a dweeb and a brony."

None of them knew what kind of mentally-handicapped and morally-bankrupt person a brony was, so they were quick to ease his fears. "No, no. Of course not. I'm sure you're plenty cool." Cooed Lord Shepard-Commander Ramierez in as inviting a tone as he could rub from his vocal cords.

"Really?" Asked Iron William.

"Really, really," Lord Shepard-Commander Ramierez assured.

"Well, that was fun and I love making friends but I need somethin' ta' shoot," stated 5-star Omega Sergeant General Thompson, still moderately angry for some reason. Then he got an idea, a terrible and brilliant idea. An idea so swank, the others would surely back him up, thinking it was real neat. "You know, I've never shot the ground before."

The others all looked down at the dirt, getting the same idea in their heads from that little statement. "What would even happen?" Asked Supreme Fleet Admiral Davis.

"I have no idea," exclaimed Commander and Master Chief Stevenson. I don't think anyone had ever tried before.

"Then let's give it a try," said 5-star Omega Sergeant General Thompson. "For science."

"FOR SCIENCE!" They all shouted in unison, aiming their guns straight down (but not at their feet silly), and then they all pulled the trigger at once, their bullets puncturing the Earth with killing-force.

There were no survivors.


The End.

Author's Note:

Well, that was a thing. In case it wasn't insanely obvious, I wrote this as satire in an attempt to mock the people who write a million shitty and generic crossovers for every video game that comes out. I'd like to think I'm not normally THIS bad at writing, but maybe I'm just kidding myself. Either way, it's always refreshing to just sit down and type something insanely stupid from time to time. I had fun, and, in the end, that's really the only thing that matters. I honestly don't care about bronys' stupid opinions (but you can give them anyway if you really want).
Anyway, off to go write more stupid garbage until I eventually get banned!
Also, I've never even played Titanfall. I thought that was worth mentioning.

Comments ( 21 )

:applejackunsure: Hmm. Too random

Yes. This story is just.....YES!

4162584
It's not random, everything makes perfect sense. You just have to believe.

4162594 :applejackconfused: Ok. Now you got me confused.

4162616
*Places finger gently on Battle154's lips as he leans in and whispers in his ear*
Believe.

Comment posted by Battle154 deleted Mar 31st, 2014

4162650 :applejackunsure: Ok. Believe in what?

4162752
That's something you have to figure out on your own. Only you can find the way.

4162776 Hmm. Ok. But I don't know if I can.:applejackunsure:

4162826
You need to believe in yourself too!

4162830 Believe in myself?

best stroy 2104

4163260 *riffles him with an assault riffler* story not stroy.

Was very best story i like it i want sequel bcoz every story needs a sequel like CoD.

Halo Man was better.

4270356
I'd hope so, I tried real hard to make this story awful.

4272543 Good work, then.
Have you checked out my story?
*Cough shameless self promotion cough*
:scootangel:

Lol gun beats magic ere day!:rainbowdetermined2:
Princesses didnt stand a chance!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::pinkiesmile:

If pony is kill, wut is grenade not used kill for grenades to cool to gun be used as. :facehoof:

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