Under Seige
Luna prowled the dark depths under Canterlot, moving briskly. Her lunar guard easily matching her pace. She was scowling. She had been summoned to the hospital wing. A guard had returned home, badly injured, with news that he refused to give anypony but her.
This was worrisome.
Luna and her retinue trotted down the hall, their hooves making a staccato rhythm that echoed through the long hallway.
She finally came to a door and entered. She pushed her way into the room, pushing her way through doctors and nurses and other soldiers. The room was crowded. Finally, she stood beside the bed of a young lunar guard who had been stationed in the Crystal Empire. She wanted to know why he was here, far away from his post.
As she stood by his bed, he weakly shoved his nose into her chest, sniffing deeply. She indulged him. He was a bloody mess. He didn’t look well at all. Death was certainly a possibility, but the lunar pegasi should never be so readily dismissed.
“Mistress.” He said weakly, looking up at her with one eye, the other a gaping bloody socket. One ear was gone. Half of his face had been burned away. Teeth were visible were his cheek used to be.
“Mistress, the Crystal Empire has fallen.” He croaked. “Thousands and thousands and thousands of unicorns invaded the city, seemingly from nowhere.” As he spoke, blood flew from the remains of his face. “They just appeared. It was over quickly. Shining Armor cast a spell, trying to shield the city, trying to protect his ponies.”
The lunar pegasus gasped and began to cough.
“The Collective…” he rasped, “Not unicorns at all. Changelings. All of them changelings. I saw it after Shining’s spell. I fear they are there to feed upon the Crystal Heart.”
The room fell completely silent, the only sounds were the laboured breathing of the injured stallion, and it was faint.
“I came home to warn you Mistress!” The lunar pegasus said in a strangled whisper. “Forgive me for abandoning my post.”
Luna felt her blood go as cold as the vacuum of space.
Suddenly, a lot of things made sense.
Luna vanished, off to warn her sister.
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4124990
Thanks again. I occasionally miss things.
I'm working as a man one show here.
I look forward to more :)
4125036
*one-man-show
4128618
See, I really need to fire my self, I can't even comment a post write.
I wish I could show you how much I loved and adored this story. It has so much going for it from the perspectives to the very in depth and profound characters. I hope you feel proud if all your work and to at least know that I am least one of many that you have touched with your well thought skills in writing upstanding literature
4159538
Thanks.
Don't forget the sequels.
4159576 I definitely won't ^^
4167054
Read Delivery Interupted.
4167121
It is made pretty clear that they had been chasing one another for quite a while. Besides. Rainbow Dash. Relationships move 20% faster.
4172716
Cadance was a pegasus. Cannon approved. One of the books confirms her transformation. GM Barrow was the author I think.
4172774 Sorry i think i missed youre other answers but i see them now.
About Rainbow Dash, maybe there was a point where i skipped a part of the story because i read it in word Document to make the Text a bit larger, because sometimes my eyes are to tired, or i just do not understand it right away. It is possible because like i said i am not from England.
Well you mean they know each other longer than just a few weeks and both of them like each other a bit? Then i think i understand it know.
About Cadance i have to say i only missed the episode with Crystalys and Cadance Season 3 last Episode i think. I only could find a trailer but maybe i could find the episode now if i try but i start at season 1 episode 1 again. I think they say that Cadance was a Pegasus in this episode rigth?
PS: I just read something about a book in youre comment, do you mean a manga? Now im interested.
Well i think that was it. I want to say again that i actually like the whole story very much it´s well written and better than some other storys i read the other days but currently i just like to scrutinize some things. I think that i maybe sound not pleased but i don´t mean it that way.
I will read the other story as well but i think i maybe finish this one first.
4196502
My advice.
Keep reading English stuff. Try to copy some English stuff. See what makes everything flow.
And then write. Whatever. Write a menu, write a shopping list, write a short story, but keep it short. Try to puzzle out what might be wrong with it. Fix those things. And then write some more. And a little more after that.
Best way to learn how to write is just to keep writing... Provided you are mindful of your mistakes and try to correct them along the way. Constant repetition will burn all of the right patterns into your brain.
4196642
I will make it short because i accidently make my last comment vanished for my eyes
Thank you for your help, i will try it to write a short story or at least just very few chapters from a grater story. I thought about writing it first in my language and then in english, but maybe i could write it equally just in english.
A collection of foals ear-semaphoring. Weaponised cuteness. :-)
5042671 I apologize, academia has intoxicated my thought paths :3 I'm reading fiction stories to remain halfway sociable to people.
5042771
No.
You, um. Really ramped up the intensity there.
...and stuck us with a cliffhanger.
And the sequel is on hiatus.
Ugh.... the pacing. I hope you stuff more chapters in between or make longer ones in a rewrite. You will do a rewrite sometime, right?
It's kind of sad I finished it so quick, it was very enjoyable!
And sentences. So many short sentences. Nobody speaks in short sentences! But doors. Everybody loves doors. And occasional stairs.
Can't say I was expecting this...
Must read more. Onwards!
7772512
Possibly a reference to an old song (1970s)
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+war+pigs+black+sabbath&&view=detail&mid=0DC0D2CDEF087F27F26A0DC0D2CDEF087F27F26A&&FORM=VRDGAR