The Alicorn Academy

by kudzuhaiku

Sushi Interlude

Four lunar pegasi sat around a table, on cushions, eating sushi at Blackbeak’s Sushi Stop. The large brutish creatures were eating and laughing together, almost alone as it approached midnight. Blackbeak kept the place open late, just for customers like these.

Mare Imbrium, also known as Nightfisher, was gobbling down rolls of raw fish, stabbing them with a fork held in between her grasping digit and the central knuckle of her wing.

Mare Frigoris, also known as Hailstone, was trying to pick the bits of seaweed from her meal, her face contorted with disgust.

Palus Somni, also known as Phantom, was watching Hailstone and laughing. His mark was a swirling black void.

And there was Mare Nectaris, also known as The Grape Ghost, also known by her mother as Moonshine, which everypony agreed was a terrible irony, given Moonshine’s proclivities. Her mortal enemy was the grape, and it was a worthy foe. She had already finished her meal, and was now guzzling down mug after mug of apple brandy, with seemingly no effect upon her state of being. Her mark was a tipped over bottle and an empty wine glass.

Moonshine slammed down her mug and belched. “Stupid Collective,” she barked, “those protests have caused the workers to go on strike in Baltimare.” She threw her head back and belched again, blowing out a foul smelling cloud that reeked of booze.

“Calm your teats!” Phantom replied. “We’re all angry. No sense shouting about it.”

“You mark my words, there is going to be trouble.” Hailstone added.

“There’s already trouble. Twilight received an anonymous death threat.” Nightfisher said, grunting. “The death threat itself was lethal. Poison ink that explodes into a cloud of gas upon contact with magic such as levitation. In front of a reading Twilight, that’s dangerous.”

“What?” Phantom said, worry in his voice.

“Twilight is a remarkably quick pony. She teleported her self away the moment she saw the poof.” Nightfisher said around a mouthful of fish.

Phantom growled, a horrible sound, like two wagons full of rocks falling down a hill.

“We don’t even know who the Collective is.” Hailstone snorted. “They put out fliers, get ponies riled up, ponies riot and protest hoping the Collective will notice them, and the Collective itself never shows who they are.”

“Perfect crime.” Nightfisher commented.

Phantom looked sick with worry.

“Twilight is a clever pony, Phantom.” Nightfisher said, poking him with her wing. “She’s survived several assassination attempts so far, and done each escape with remarkable grace and aplomb.”

“Poor lovesick Phantom.” Moonshine said, taking a swallow.

“Be nice Grape Ghost.” Hailstone said. “He’s hurt.”

“Yeah, I know, but I have to rib him just a little bit.” Moonshine looked somewhat apologetic. “I’ve proven that I have his back. Plus, I share my drinks with him. How many ponies can say I do that for them?”

“I want to tear off somepony’s head and rut their neck hole.” Phantom seethed.

“Yikes, Phantom.” Nightfisher said, cringing away.

“You don’t mean that.” Hailstone said in an oddly gentle voice.

“Yes. I do.” Phantom shot Hailstone a black look.

“Don’t you look at me like that.” Hailstone said, the room suddenly growing colder. “I’m your friend. I deserve better you dimwitted spook.”

Phantom slumped. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You are Luna’s assassin. You really need to watch what you say. Stay professional. Never take on a target for personal reasons.” Nightfisher chided.

Phantom looked away in shame.

Moonshine reached out a hoof and placed it on Phantom’s shoulder. “You really like her, don’t you. Does she know it?”

“I do not know.” Said Phantom, suddenly becoming his cultured and charming self again. “She has trouble speaking to me beyond a basic hello.”

Nightfisher snorted.

“Oh, you’re one to talk.” Hailstone said. “You and Sunflower have been prancing around one another for how long?”

“Leave Sunflower out of this!” Nightfisher snapped.

“Nightfisher loves a solar pony.” Moonshine teased.

“So what if I do.” Nightfisher grumbled.

“Nothing wrong with that.” Said Phantom. “These two are jealous because they can’t find somebody to brood over.”

“Why do we brood?” Moonshine said.

“It is what we do. We sit in high places and brood. It is our nature. Why fight it?” Phantom asked.

“I bet you’d like to brood with Twilight.” Moonshine teased.

“Sunflower is learning how to properly brood.” Nightfisher said.

Phantom smiled weakly. “I bet Twilight could brood. She’s not the sort to fill the air with useless chatter.”

“Screw brooding. I can do that at any time. I want noise. I want angry grunting. I want hot sweaty sloppy rut…”

“WOAH GIRL!” Moonshine interrupted, breaking into Hailstone’s tirade. “We ALL know what you want. We just don’t know how to give it to you.” Moonshine paused. “I’m tempted to give you a roll in the hay my self but I am afraid it would be like licking a flagpole and getting your tongue stuck to it.”

“I’m not sure if I’m into mares. I do know that I’m desperate.” Hailstone said with brutal honesty.

“Does licking a frozen pole really cause your tongue to freeze and stick to it?” Nightfisher asked.

“YES!” Hailstone bellowed, cringing.

“I don’t want to know, do I?” Nightfisher said.

Phantom shuddered in disgust.

“You!” Hailstone hissed. “You know! Don’t you! Luna swore she’d never tell!”

Phantom nodded slightly.

Hailstone snorted loudly but said nothing.

“Oh, this must be good.” Moonshine said.

Phantom shook his head no.

“She swore she wouldn’t tell!” Hailstone cried.

“Luna didn’t tell.” Phantom admitted.

“What?” Hailstone said in shock.

“I was, uh, doing my job. Hanging around the castle. Making sure nopony was spying.” Phantom said, cringing.

“Oh you dirty little spy!” Hailstone said.

Moonshine snorted with laughter and took another drink, waving for another round.

“I think I’m going to put in a transfer.” Phantom said, his voice cracking slightly from strain.

“We’re spooks. We don’t transfer.” Nightfisher said.

“Twilight needs a guard.”

“Twilight doesn’t want guards.”

“Twilight is confused and doesn’t know what she needs.” Phantom said bluntly.

“Do you really believe that?” Hailstone asked.

Phantom didn’t reply.

“Twilight wants to be approachable. She calls her self the ponies’ princess for a reason.” Moonshine said. “And I respect that.”

“She worked as a school teacher for a couple of years.” Nightfisher added. “Doesn’t get more approachable than having foals wipe their noses on you and going home each day covered in chalk dust and glitter glue.”

“And that’s only a small part of why she’s so wonderful.” Phantom said, longing in his voice.

Moonshine slid Phantom a fresh drink. “You sound like you have it bad my friend.”

“We are spooks.” Nightfisher said. “Ponies of the night. We work in shadow in the same way artists work in watercolours.” She took a deep breath. “Surely we can find some way to bring Sleepyhead and the Egghead together.”

“Stay out of it.” Phantom begged. “Twilight has enough trouble. I’m content to occasionally just say hello.”

“We’re nosy mares. We are not content to watch you suffer.” Hailstone said.

“Even princesses deserve to be happy, should they desire it. Looking at Shining Armor and Cadance.”

“Besides, Phantom. You trained under Shining Armor. Maybe he could help you?” Moonshine grinned from ear to ear.

“You want me to ask my teacher about dating his baby sister? Please, Moonshine, go and plant me in a shallow grave in the badlands right now, and let’s get this over with.” Phantom said.

“Just show me where to dig. You’ve planted more bodies there than I have.” Moonshine snorted.

“Quiet!” Nightfisher hissed. “Some things shouldn’t be made light of.”

Hailstone sniffed. “Practice necromancy or do bad things to foals and you get a shallow grave. The public really should know about it. Ponies should know what they are in for.”

“If I can find an actual member of the Collective he’s going into a grave.” Phantom growled.

“After Luna gets done pulling everything she needs to know from their dreams” Nightfisher corrected.

“I’m not convinced there is a Collective.” Moonside said.

Her companions groaned.

“Hear me out!” She said, swallowing her drink. “What if it started with just one pony printing those fliers, something like a prank. And other unicorns are dumb enough to believe that some secret agency is watching them, so they print more fliers and stage protests, and then other unicorns, seeing the previous protests and fliers, print more fliers and stage more protests, causing it to spread. But what if there is no actual Collective?”

“Mare Nectaris, you are utterly brilliant when you are drunk.” Nightfisher said.

“Are you teasing me?” Moonshine asked. “I’m not drunk. Nowhere near drunk.”

“No. For once. I think there might be some possible truth to what you say. I do believe in the Collective. But I also think you are right. I think they’ve stepped in once or twice and then stepped back to allow unicorns to do their dirty work for them. They probably know we monitor dreams and have a vast network of intelligence. Sticking their neck out would be risky. We’ve caught plenty of small time agitators but nopony of actual importance. Just ponies wanting to catch the eye of the Collective. And we bring them in. And then Collective slips out propaganda about ponies being snatched in the night and disappearing.”

“Chilling.” Said Hailstone.

Phantom rolled his eyes at Hailstone and shoved her with his hoof.

“I think we’re in trouble.” Nightfisher said. “We have an enemy that we can’t see or touch, but they can manipulate us from a distance. Not a good situation.”

Comments

[Texus]

Hmmmm after hard thinking i beleave Phantom is maybe a good partner for Twiligth even if i don´t know him really much.

Good Chapter^^

[scooterdash]

“I want to tear off somepony’s head and rut their neck hole.” Phantom seethed.

“Yikes, Phantom.” Nightfisher said, cringing away.“You don’t mean that.” Hailstone said in an oddly gentle voice.

“Yes. I do.” Phantom shot Hailstone a black look.

Horny for neck hole!

[Dragon of Shadows]

my self

one word