Social Contagion
Celestia banked over Ponyville, her guards in tow. Sunflower and Cyclone flew at her wingtips. It felt good to be out of the silly chariot. A decision had been made, a stronger Equestria was needed. This meant seeing the Princesses on display, out and about, flying, not being coddled along in a chariot. Too many whispers of the Princesses growing weak.
Celestia rolled, reveling in flight, finally able to do something she loved to do but had not been allowed to do for the longest time. For too long, the public wanted a pampered Princess, and the empire had suffered. The invasion of Canterlot had happened.
Equestria was militarising once again. The doves had been silenced after the invasion.
She rolled again, this time as she flipped around in a loop, her guard keeping up with her.
“A bit out of practice, that last maneuver.” Cyclone said over the roar of the wind. “I find it helps to kick your hind legs out when you pull up for a loop.” He advised.
“Thank you Cyclone.” Celestia said.
Cyclone nodded.
Sunflower looked below. Ponies were looking up.
“We have admirers.” He announced casually.
Cyclone grunted in reply.
“And, my dear friend Cyclone, you have an admirer,” Sunflower shouted in teasing tones, “she’ll be there today when we arrive. I bet the sight of you in armor makes her go crazy.”
Sunflower reconsidered his words.
“Or crazier.” He chuckled.
Cyclone turned his head and shot his best friend a scowl. “Nightfisher dunked you in the lake recently? Wouldn’t want you stinking up this momentous event.”
“Ouch!” Sunflower replied.
“When you two finally settle down, I’m buying you a stool. I don’t think you could reach otherwise.” Cyclone went as low as he dared.
“A stool?” Celestia asked, puzzled, suddenly becoming involved in the personal lives of her guards.
“He’s too short to mount her otherwise. Or even to kiss her if she decides that lowering her head isn’t worth it.” Cyclone said, grinning.
Celestia broke into laughter, chuckling at the witty repartee.
“You don’t fight fair Cyclone.” Sunflower protested.
“I know.” Cyclone responded. “Your Majesty, why was I specifically chosen to be your guard and companion?” Cyclone asked, already knowing the answer.
“Because you fight dirty.” Celestia responded. “Both of you rely more on guile and treachery than brute strength. Fighting fair has badly damaged the empire.”
Both stallions beamed from the praise.
Celestia began to circle and drop, seeing her destination below. Ahead of her, the Everfree loomed, and from up here, she could see the large crater that pockmarked the thick forest. She shuddered. That had been a black day, she reflected. The Everfree was worse than ever now. But that was a good thing, Celestia thought to herself. It gave Luna’s lunar pegasi a place to hunt and perfect their talents. Struggle brings strength.
The ground loomed below them, and Celestia could see a large group of ponies running about, in a large field at the edge of a copse of trees. She scanned the trees, looking for a glint of mirrored blue scales, and saw nothing. She scanned the grass. Still nothing.
She landed gracefully, with her guards landing a moment later. She shook her wings and folded them.
She suffered a peculiar moment as nopony came running up to greet her. She could see faces peering at her, mostly from the trees, some from bushes.
Somepony was coming up to greet her she noticed. Well, not a pony. Not entirely.
Discord slithered through the tall grass, his mismatched legs causing him to wobble forward as his sinuous body flailed about.
He approached her shyly, head low, slinking forward on all fours.
“Hi there Celestia…” he said in a mischievous voice that dripped with troublesome intent. His mismatched wings fluttered.
“Hello Discord. How are you this day?” Celestia said formally. This was supposed to be a formal occasion. Where was Twilight? Something felt off.
“Oh, I am about to have a dream come true.” Discord said with a maniacal cackle.
Celestia chuckled. Discord apparently knew why she was here and what was planned for Ivy. Celestia felt joy in her heart.
He slithered forward even more, and then raised himself up on his hind legs, balancing on his haunches.
Celestia’s guard eyeballed him. Discord was harmless now, completely non magical, but occasionally annoying.
Discord reached out his griffon claw, his eyes narrowing, his face seizing with glee, a chuckle escaping his lips.
Celestia furrowed her brow. What was Discord up to?
Discord booped her gently upon the nose.
Celestia let out a faint squeak of surprise.
“Tag! You’re it!” Discord shouted. “No tag backs!” The draconequus took the stunned moment of surprise to make a hasty escape, slither-slinking through the grass, hurrying off to the bushes.
Celestia heard giggles in the distance.
She turned to look at Sunflower, who was backing away from her.
“Sunflower, what are you doing? You are not dismissed.” She said flatly.
“I apologise your Majesty,” replied Sunflower in humble tones, “But you seem to be infected with a terrible social contagion. While I would die to defend you, I am not a willing receiver of your affliction!” Sunflower turned tail and ran.
Celestia whirled on Cyclone, but he was gone. Just gone.
She stood there alone, in confusion, feeling a faint tinge of frustration rising.
This was not going as planned.
She heard the giggles of Twilight Sparkle. She swung her head around, looking for her. She didn’t see her, but heard her in the bushes. She heard lots of other giggles in the bushes. No, she thought, this wasn’t going as planned.
“Huzzah!” said a voice. “My sister has the plague!”
Luna! Celestia scowled.
“There are rules sister!” Luna shouted. “In this marvelous game, we are all earth ponies. No magic, no wings. You must tag somepony!”
Celestia saw something small and orange in the grass. Finally, a way to end this, she thought to herself.
The small orange pony was running from one clump of bushes to another. He saw her and cried out in alarm.
“Shame on you!” Cried a voice. A blue grey pony stuck her head out of the bushes.
“Look at you, as big as you are, runnin’ down the runt, for shame!” Cried another voice. A red muzzle poked out of the bushes.
“Ooh, Gala, Honeycrisp, you shouldn’t talk to the Princess like that…”
Celestia heard Fluttershy’s voice, but didn’t see her. She stood there, frozen. Unsure of what to do next.
A bright blue blur shot past her, wiggle-slithering through the grass.
Ivy moved with serpentine speed toward the small orange foal. She didn’t slow upon approach. As she started to run past him, her tail whipped out, gently coiled around the orange foal, and lifted him into the air above Ivy’s back. “Appleseed!” Ivy cried.
Ivy disappeared into the tree line, the orange foal lowered from view.
Celestia stood there, looking around, unsure of what to do next.
In the distance, she saw Rarity and Applejack reclining on a blanket.
She trotted toward the blanket.
Rarity raised her head at Celestia’s approach.
“Oh, hello Celestia!” She said in her best cultured voice. “We’re not playing. We’re sitting this one out. We hope you don’t mind.”
Celestia continued forward.
Rarity began to look alarmed.
“We’re not playing,” she protested. “I’m just here to keep Applejack and Maplejack company.”
Celestia did not slow.
Rarity quickly rolled to her hooves and stood up.
“Celestia dear…” she started.
“If you are not playing, then why are you ready to run?” Celestia asked.
Rarity’s reply was to turn tail and take off.
Celestia stood over Applejack, who had her hat over her face.
“Don’t even think about it.” Applejack warned. “I ain’t in no mood. I’m pregnant. Again. My back hurts. My hips hurt. I’m horny as all get out and my teats are sore. My plothole is sore and puckered from all this goldurn fartin’.”
Applejack snorted.
“And don’t you go taggin’ Maplejack. He’s too little to know what’s goin’ on. You go on now, git!”
No, this day wasn’t turning out as planned.
A little too much honesty from the Element of Honesty, Celestia reflected.
Celestia looked down at Maplejack. “Hello there.” She said gently.
“Hi…” he drawled, burying his face into his mother’s side and hiding.
Celestia turned. She heard snickers and laughter coming from everywhere.
Applejack farted loudly. Her tail swished. “Nuts and gum…” she drawled. “I’m gonna kill Stumpy next time he gives me that look.”
Celestia moved away quickly, her nose crinkling.
“Oh pony farts,” swore Applejack, “I have stank like a polecat. I ain’t sorry!”
Celestia picked up her pace, her nostrils suddenly burning. It was like walking into the guard barracks on Appleloosa chili night, she reflected.
She saw a flash of lavender.
It was time to end this. The only way to end this. This game of tag had become a bit too political. Foals were clearly off limits. If she ran down any other pony, she’d be an alicorn running down a defenseless soul that would never have a chance. And she would never hear the end of it.
She bolted for Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight responded the only way she knew how. By panicking. Her former teacher was hot on her hooves.
“Twilight Sparkle, hold still and take what is coming to you! I know you had a hoof in this!” Celestia barked.
Twilight ran faster. She had too. Celestia had longer legs.
“I had nothing to do with this!” Twilight protested. “This is all Luna’s fault!”
“‘Tis a lie!” Luna shouted in reply, poking her head out from the bushes. “Discord and I planned this! Some of the blame rests upon him! ‘Tis not all my fault!”
“Yer a rotten pony!” Gala said, still sore about Celestia even thinking about chasing her brother. Her blue grey muzzle emerged from the tall grass near the trees.
“Yeah! And then you thought about taggin’ mama!” Honeycrisp chided, emerging next to her sister.
“No I didn’t!” Celestia said breathlessly. “I just wanted to say hello.”
Twilight was a much faster runner than Celestia had counted on. She ran in wide circles, bobbing and weaving.
Celestia’s hooves struck a rhythm upon the earth as she ran. She was picking up speed now. Twilight was out in the open.
Celestia was gaining.
Celestia took a swipe at Twilight’s cutie mark, her hoof missing by bare inches. Twilight surged forward in panic.
The swipe was costly. Celestia had lost speed. She redoubled her efforts.
“Too much cake Twilight?” Celestia said with an aggressive tone.
“OH!” Twilight panted. “You’re one to talk!”
Celestia lunged forward, her hooves leaving the ground as she lept, her hoof extended.
Twilight felt a glancing blow just above her cutie mark. She stumbled.
Celestia collided with Twilight, tackling her. The two ponies slid into the earth, ripping up the grass and turf, rolling together in a heap.
Celestia was guffawing.
It was a sound that Luna hadn’t heard in a long time. It made her heart ache briefly, as she reflected upon the burdens her sister carried. But then she felt joy. She felt something brush up against her side. She turned and looked at Discord. The exchanged a glance briefly.
Celestia howled with laughter, covered in dirt and her white coat covered in grass stains. Twilight Sparkle lay in underneath her former mentor, feeling somewhat crushed by the much larger pony. She struggled and squirmed to get free.
Celestia rolled away from her former student and collapsed on her back. She kicked up her legs and snorted, reveling in her roll in the grass. It felt good to be a pony again, to be doing pony things. Like rolling in the cool grass. She wriggled and writhed upon the earth, scratching her back. Her wings extended.
Another pony began to laugh. Twilight struggled to her hooves and saw Rainbow Dash looking at her and chuckling.
“I guess I missed something,” Rainbow confessed, “but I was back in the woods watching Pinkie Pie making out with Cyclone!”
“Pervert.” Twilight muttered at her friend.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones,” Rainbow Dash said in a singsong voice, “but whips and chains excite me.”
Celestia was still laughing. Luna stood near, smiling and laughing with her sister.
“That doesn’t seem ladylike…” Rarity announced, looking at Celestia with a certain disapproval.
Celestia was covered in grass stains. Blades of grass were lodged in her feathers.
The large mare finally began to compose herself, remembering what it was that she had come here to do.
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I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love when people show the princesses doing normal stuff. You've been busy today posting two chapters
Can't wait for more
4083636
Another one incoming. Editing now.
I don´t like applejack in this story so far, but maybe i am so picky about her because she is one of my favourite ponys. And she seems to make only things who i don´t like. Otherwise it´s a good chapter, but i wonder in wich chapter the main char appears again
Is twilight pregnant? Quite a few things are pointing in that direction.
I enjoyed this chapter. Thanks a bunch.
Luna is best princess.
I like all of your stories, they are so awesome *-*
Somewhere, Flicker Nicker shivers in disgust.
My dad actually used this line with my mom once. My sister and I fell out.