Everypony knows Buck Norris. He can break a Pinkie promise. Braeburn is gay for him. He raises the sun and moon with one hoof. No, he is not a myth. He is real, and the only reason you are still alive to read the fic is that he has spared you long enough to do so. Read it, or he will banish you by roundhouse kicking you to the moon.
Story by 'red Sage
Coverart by MarineACU on deviantart (not quite the same as I write him, but holy crud it's better than what I threw together for it)
Old Cover by 'red Sage (looks awful but if you want more Buck Norris jokes they're here...) Link
Chapters (1)
i came with the intention of downvoting... i left with a goofy smile...
This is awesome! I love how this lived up to its expectations: just a silly story that would make me chuckle. I like the idea of Buck Norris, and I like how he's much like Walker in Walker Texas Ranger. It's glorious., really. I only wish that each little scenario had been explored more thoroughly, but I can't complain much with I got.
I though the Rarity part was a bit lacking, though. Not because of its length, but because of how nothing really seemed to happen aside from Rarity falling. I was hoping for a bit more climatic ending to that one.
Anyway, I'm reviewing for Weekly Watch, and even though I'm not an official reviewer yet, I thought I'd contribute anyway.
HOLY BALLS HES LICKING MY FACE!!!!!!!!!
4079754
I wanted this to be the most facehoofy story it could possibly be, and I'm glad you got here no matter your intentions
4079893
Yeah...I might have written all of this in one flavor or another of tipsy, so it turned into what it did. I had trouble deciding which ones were not-stupid enough to write about, and which ones had to be played for face-pain.
4079926
You think that's bad? When he found out I was going to write a r63 of this, he came over to my house, beat me up, drank all my beer, beat me up again, and then told me that I should go ahead and try it, because it wouldn't work.
-Sage
Flash stood there, his mouth agape, wondering how somepony could have possibly stolen his waifu.
I AM CRYING OF LAUGHTER. You evil genius, you! Being a Texan and an avid Chuck Norris fan(as most Texans are), I dare aay this is the best thing to I have ever read! Yeah, texans love Chuck Norris, but people don't think that because we almost never talk about him. Wanna know why?
Because, rule #1 of Chuck Norris:
You don't talk about Chuck Norris.
...oh, crap.
Edit: sorry, I wrote this comment on my phone... Messed up the quote box.
4080502
It brings a squee-sized smile to my face to read such words! Perhaps you can share it with a friend or two who needs a laugh? On the note of not talking about Chuck, just don't ship his OC. Because Buck Norris ships YOU. And mental note, I need to read some of your stuff over coffee tmrw. I've seen it around and never gotten to it. Cheers!
-Sage
I liked it. Concise and to the point. A spelling error here or there, but whatever.
One of the funniest stories I've read in a long while. Well done, sir.
Oh, jeez, that was terrible...just awful...
I loved it....!!
Crystalheart
(Hope you read mine...because you owe now...)
ERMAHGARD
Too funny. But if he tries to steal Twilight from ME, I'll roundhouse kick HIM!
4083294
Oooh...I'll be writing the story about your funeral then.
4083315 nah. I can handle it.
I have the REAL Chuck Norris with me.
Part of me wants this to continue, but another part said it lasted just as long as it needed to without becoming repetitive. I laughed out loud at this, something only a few fics can claim. Great job, Sage.
words can not describe how hard I laughed there.
4092616
It might be in bad taste...I live less than an hour away from Boulder, CO, and some people just astound me in every way as far as that is concerned.
4090343
Thanks! I appreciate it!
I am not going to read this but I gave you a thumbs up anyway.
Apparently Buck Norris is very compelling.
4781262
I appreciate the thumbs up!
...but I won't be able to save your life, you know that, right?
-Sage
*sigh*
Really? I mean, really??
I checked this out cause I'm a Chuck Norris fan(thanks to my brother!), and I recongnised exactly what the story was. So I clicked on it expecting to read a really great story...
Dude, seriously...this was soooo bad, and yet sooooooooo good at the same time.
And um, I probably shouldn't say this, but...*looks around nervously*...did you know he once got bit by a rattlesnake? And after three days of agony...the snake died?
(This joke could cost me my life. Hope you appreciate that!)
9217672
Really really.