- Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
- offline last seen 9 hours ago
Ponyess
I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP
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I've read the prologue, and although I like the idea itself, you'll need to find an experienced proofreader/editor, because there's some spelling/grammar issues and a bit of a problem with the way you tell things. I wish you the best with this, and I will put it in read later.
~N
PS: If you can't find anyone, I'd be willing to try and help out, but I'm not really used to anything but grammar checking.
3754297 I already found an error in spelling I had been told about, which should be fixed.
The 'Summary' as such was a bit of a work in haste, not written into the original story, since I've come to realise, my original Summary doesn't quite work on this site, to which I'm fairly new.
I'm glad you like the idea.
I guess I'm blind to my own errors, just like most others? If you'd take a look, I'd be very happy.
This story needs quite a bit of help -- the sentence structure is too choppy, punctuation is placed inappropriately, there is too much redundancy in the dialogue, as well as the few spelling errors I noticed. The concept is interesting, but I feel there are ways it can be told better.
Just my two cents.
3775355 The general sentence structure is something I could work on, even if some help may enhace the experience for everyone.
If you could point at specifics, so that I could see what you're looking at in order to see if and where it is pointing, if at all?
Thanks, the concept of the story, is what it all came from, so it is at least worth pouring more effort into it, thanks.
Now I just need to push it further, in order to realise the story as such.
Look its a good story idea i myself like it if you would like help i am glad to offer any assistance
3778677 if I'm reading you right, I'd haply appreciate the help.
Just tell me when and how.
3778994 after you've read it, which I'm assuming you've already did.
we could start from the top, if you like editing?
as to when, when ever is convenient on your end, why wait?
all right you want me to private message or chat in the comments
3779021 if possible, the PM should handle it nice and discrete?
I doubt I ever have a chapter too long for this. should leave room for a comment at the side in the same mesage, from my experience.
Not that I've sent very lengthy PMs, but still
danm srry just updated so so sorry sorry so so sorry my bad shit
3779097 if it was that bad, just as well I never had the time to see it in time to read.
For that matter, I have made a slight update of the story, several small details all over the story.
At least in my eyes, it will look better now, in part because several of these details was clear and pointless errors, more then actually making the story considerably bettwe, but with these details out of the way, the lot of you get a clearer image of the story, rather then all the distractions.
no you said be discreet and I accidently posted in comments
3779476 oh, that's what the missing post here was. There goes that silly frustration.
I guess it is easy to post in the wrong place.
Some things goes to the comment for the story, the next in PM, another may be a personal comment, or a blog comment, there are a few details to say which.
I just realised, I may have built a ship here, and had it launsed, for where is still to see?
Even if it may have been planned, from when Twilight was banned from Ponyville by Trixie, but here's wht may come out of it?
Oh, my god, has nobody ever, taught you, how to, use commas, correctly, and when not, to use them, and also, that run-on sentences, are bad?
This is as much advice as I am willing to give you, because I am not even willing to open a single chapter of a story with a summary this poorly written and the atrocious grammar you're displaying in the comments:
mythrilmoth.net/misc/commagun.jpg
3899952 Thanks, I hope this lifts the spirits, at least over ground-level.
Ah yeah, I guess the comments aren't my absolute top priority.
I hope my stories are more important and interesting, even if I have a few slips in spelling and grammars.
If you by any chance come across any of my comming stories, I appreciate you taking the risk, since all my newly published stories are incomplete, which is the stage where it is the least chance of an enjoyable read.
If you find an enjoyable story in this group, I'd consider you lucky.
Aside from the blatant spelling errors, "Poni," and the fact that Twilight is completely evil in this, it's pretty good so far!
[EDIT] Really, it's worse for her to do villain things for the fun, that's not a reason that's sadism! Twilight you are messed up.