I write stories... Pretty much it, really.
I used to think that life was boring. Same routine everyday. Get up, go to school, learn, go home, go to bed. But when everyone's favourite rainbow comes to town and follows me home, things get magical!
I put the comedy tag on because of the random bits of comedy.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ok, I read all this an have to admit some things bugged me. First of all Rainbow seems way to calm to be seeing people but I'll just chalk it down to he seeing all sorts of weird things and not thinking any different, one other thing 'I got up, still wearing my pyjamas, and started walking to the wardrobe' Well of course you were still wearing pyjamas if you'd just woken up
I suggest trying more description and put more thought into the chapters but otherwise you haven't done a bad job, just try making your reaction and Rainbows reaction a little more like it would be if you saw a fictional flying pony and she was trapped in a world that was filled with weird pink things. I did think this was good just a few things were off! Hope I helped.
Other than Rainbow Dash being a LITTLE too trusting this was ok. I'll watch you for now.
323984 There is good reason for the "Dull reaction." By this time in the story, I was convinced i was high. Probably should put that in shouldn't I?
323997 Yep. Probably. But my points still stands. Even then people would be freaking out.
324008
Air Support is on the way!
324188 Haha thanks
Well since your a brony, it makes sense that your reaction was a bit relaxed, but in some ways it felt too relaxed. If I saw Rainbow Dash or any other character from the show in real life, just because I know them doesn't mean I wouldn't be like "Holy Celestia! What the hell is going?!". My reaction would be somewhere in the middle. I like the flow of the story; it's pretty chilled back and transitions decently throughout. Just work a bit more on your descriptions and you'll have really captivating work my friend.
324008 I changed it to make a bit more sense.
324228 awesome, it's a little better but do try with your descriptions in later chapters. Good luck!
Epic first line
Great story, no problems i can see. i love this kind of stories.
er.. what happened to chapter 3 exactly..?
337697 Woops. I merged it with Chapter 2 and forgot to change the name of chapter 4.
337760 Ohhh i see
Fourth comment. Lol sorry I had to This is the best story eva.
MUFFINS
338253 clearly you have never read anything by primalcorn1.
My standard of writing could never match up to the amazing corny!
But thanks anyway
Faved
wow amazing
My Clopfic alert is going off... I don't feel save.
I'll keep reading anyways.
462318
Don't worry. At no point will there be any clop in this story. EVER. Period.
Although I do plan on building a relationship between me and Dash.
Oh dang.. THAT face.. it'll put ya into trance..
WOOT more.
Now I hate changelings even more
486368
You should.
You gotta admit that the queen of them looks pretty awesome in a grotesque way.
488149 yeah.. though my first reaction upon seeing her was like:
that's creepy..
488275
I think that's what they were aiming for.
I must admit. I was skeptical about your story before reading it. Again my intuition was wrong and I was blown away by the awesomeness. I look forward to a sequel. Maybe a mini dash will be waiting in that story
491489
blown away by the awesomeness
You have no idea how good this makes me feel.
Thank you for taking an interest in my story.
my clopfic-alarms in my head are alerting me... I better watch out.
Wow, an awesome battle with Queen Chrysalis. Then marrying Dash?
Epicness is OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What you doin' here Trixie?
Hmmm. Looks okay to me.
i lost my voice
938359
I'll work on it. But I'm having trouble finding inspiration.
Just know that it's coming.
Liked it- could have used a bit more pacing and less explaining, but it didn't suffer too much for it.
What happened to Neeky, though?
She disappeared after the 5th chapter.
1379947
Yeah, she was a real life friend and she wasn't too happy about me using her name in the story so she asked me to discontinue the usage.
Damn that guy is good, i mean he must have been with her for about a week but already got that far with her... Damn.
out of 5.
but it was a good story so i give you
1915543 I have to thank you for the comment. Not because it was nice, (Which it was) but because you reminded me that this story ended in the way that a sequel has to be written. I'll get to that soon.
my god im a hero
1959817 Indeed you are. You should go save some little fillies falling out of Canterlot Castle. Just remember to fly straight!
1964566 i shall good sir *epic music plays as fire works go off behind me*
That probably describes how my mind works pretty well.
3765164 Same. I love that about my mind.