• Member Since 18th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen November 22nd

LuminoZero


Someone once said I was passive aggressive. I disagree. I am far too impatient for that. I prefer just being normal aggressive. Don't worry about 'maybe' upsetting me, you will know.

E
Source

A pony's impending death causes her to reflect on some of the recent developments in her life. But such revelations rarely last, and the chains of daily concerns are not easily cast aside once the danger has passed.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 32 )

Sometimes the most powerful weapon is the guilty we have within ourselves when it comes from things we have done wrong. :raritydespair:

This tale is such an example of that in a way...as it shows Rarity starting to realize how much she uses Spike for her own needs and neglecting his emotions for her. :raritycry:

Truly an interesting take on the episode.

3230972
Thank you very much for your review! I always liked Rarity the most, because she really has the biggest conflict with her element. It would be like if Fluttershy was the Element of Courage! It makes her flawed, it makes her real to me. She is selfish, egotistical, and a bit of a snob. But when it really matters, when it comes down to it, she cares for all of her friends and would sacrifice more for them then anypony would. I always find it more impressive to see someone turning how they overcome their biggest flaw into their biggest strength.

Once again, thanks very much for the review!

I almost didn't read this due to the summary, since I don't enjoy sad endings; turns out it was quite excellent. You might want to drop the "Sad" tag; I don't see anything in this story to warrant it.

3231615

Perhaps not sad, but I think a bittersweet is appropriate. It's the last line/title that made me decide the sad tag was appropriate. She made all the revelations, but she didn't act on them while they were fresh and...well we know how the relationship changes over the rest of Season 2 and Season 3. It doesn't. Clarity was hers for a brief moment, but she couldn't hold onto it...yet. :P

Never the less, thank you very much for your review! As always, such assurances that people enjoy my work means a lot!

-Lumino

Cute!

3231630
Perhaps, but the tag combined with the description suggests likely character death, as opposed to simply a bittersweet realization. And even that realization didn't seem all that sad; more...unfulfilled. It's the promise of figuring it out in the future, the notion that her feelings are real and they'll show themselves again someday. That doesn't seem sad; it seems hopeful.

3231642
Thank you much for your review! I am glad you enjoyed it!

Perhaps, but the tag combined with the description suggests likely character death, as opposed to simply a bittersweet realization.

Very true! The description was intentionally misleading like that. It captures the curiosity of people glancing over it and causes them to wonder just what it is about. Of course, the story picture and the first paragraph of the story spoil that pretty quickly. But the point of a summary is to get people to start reading the story, and if it gets the curious enough that they open it up, then it did it's job well.

From that point on, it's up to me to tell them a good story. :D

3231660
The problem is that there are too many genuinely sad stories around to suspect an intentionally misleading description, especially together with the tag. The short description is actually quite a bit more enticing; the long description and tag were off-putting. I only ended up reading it because I figured "It's only 2000 words, how awful can it be?", and I could always give it a thumbs-down if it turned out how I thought it would.

And instead I ended up with quite a heartwarming tale that I'm quite glad I didn't skip.

3231689
Well I wouldn't be a very good writer if I discarded the views of my readers! I still am not certain I wish to change it, but you bring up a very valid point of the larger summary. Perhaps it could use a bit of touching up.

It means a lot that this is important to you, I appreciate any assistance to make my story and it's presentation more appealing.

I think I shall fave this, good sir. Excellent work!

Although, I noticed a couple things in the beginning:

"Oh be quiet!" The hash voice

The brilliant white mane of the most audacious unicorn to ever grace Ponyville

Other than that, I dare say this was rather masterfully done. Keep it up!

3232388
Thanks much for your review and assistance, but I do have a question. The second part, what is the error? Rarity does have a 'brilliant white mane'. I'm afraid I don't understand where the mistake was.

Anyway, thanks again for the assistance, and I am glad you enjoyed!

-Lumino

So, I'm not a huge fan of this show,

Bullshit you aren't.

You don't put this much thought and care into something you don't like, you big softie.

3231033

That's because of all the character designs, all the ponies are given positive archetypes with negative flaws to make them interesting. Rarity is a negative archetype with positive traits to balance her. It makes her a most fascinating character study indeed, one that I love how the show explores.

Even if they did mix up Applejack and Rainbow's elements.

3232756 Well, you're confusing her MANE with her COAT. Her coat is white, her mane is purplish-blue.

3232801
Ah! Well caught! I'll go fix that right now!

3232799
Well just because I've never watched every episode doesn't mean I don't believe in doing the research before I write a story! :P If I wanted to give these characters the respect they deserved, I needed to understand the world, and that required me to watch every Sparity episode (not like I minded that) and even read other stories to see how others viewed them. The contrast between Rarity's greed and generosity actually came into my mind after reading the story 'Two-Weeks Notice.' I would recommend it to any Sparity fan that hasn't read it yet.
Anyway, thanks again for the great compliment, it's awesome to receive such encouragement!
-Lumino

3232813
Mind providing a link to Two Weeks Notice? Searched for it, and didn't find it.

3234727
Ah, excellent; that's one I'd already seen, read, and thoroughly enjoyed.

A little short, but pretty well done. I can really see that you and improving through, so its good to know your learning.

Still, I'll hope that one day, Rarity will be able to throw off the chains for good.

3279222 The fact that you said I was improving makes me laugh a little bit, because this was the first story I wrote for the fandom! I stuck close to the episode because I was giving myself guidelines so I could get a better handle on the characters. The dialogue and actions were set in stone, I needed to fill in the gaps that still made it believable. It was a good way to get into the practice of writing these two.

Thanks again!
-Lumino

3279242
Well, when I said your improving, I didn't mean that this was your best. I meant I could see your improvements, as in I can see you getting better even if I read this in reverse order.

It definitely left a bittersweet taste, but enjoyed it a lot. I did want to ask if you were referring to Dash and Fluttershy as the two best flyers Rarity knows, because Dash might be strong, but Fluttershy is anything but. She did improve in Hurricane Fluttershy, yet even then, she isn't what you'd call "skilled":twilightblush:. But anyway look forward to reading more from you in the future.

3313556

Very true, but in 'Return of Harmony Part 2' we do see that Fluttershy is almost as fast as Rainbow Dash is, she just needs the proper motivation.

Anyway, I am glad you enjoyed the story. If you liked this one, well, it only gets better from here!:P

Thanks again;
-Lumino

This is a sweet story I gave it a good 8/10 :twilightsmile:

4121992 I give it 9/10 you gotta love this story

I will never be able to watch that episode the same way again.

Like, fav and added to my recommendation group.

3230972 she makes a first step in understanding how he fells but she turns her back at him AGAIN

Time will resolve the issue of age. Heck he's only a few years younger than Twilight.
Time passes at the same rate for all creatures.
Nice perspective from Raritys p o v.

3232813 Where is this story you speak of? I can't find it anywhere.:raritydespair:

This was certainly an interesting read; an excellent take on Rarity's feelings and thoughts during this time. This is also still one of my favorite episodes of MLP, since Rarity gives Spike not one, but two kisses of affection in response to his chivalrous deeds.

Unfortunately, I cannot deny the truth and logic in that this is probably what Rarity imagined at the end and would continue putting off telling him or pondering the matter of her and the dragon's hearts. Yet it is a bittersweet tale, so there is still hope, even if it is only in fan fiction form.

Thank you for the read.

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