• Published 27th Feb 2012
  • 3,970 Views, 106 Comments

Roar of the Manticore - solsticebrony888



Two injured Wonderbolts survive a Mantcore attackin the Everfree forest, but can't find a way out.

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Chapter 8

Though Ponyville was the least advanced when it came to medicine and emergencies in Equestria, they had a specialized unit of unicorns for emergencies, which were called upon once Zecora was able to get help.

Galloping into the forest were four unicorn stallions, the two on the ends wearing saddles with medicinal equipment on the sides. On their backs was a padding for carrying an unconscious pony.

Behind them was a worried Zecora and the morning sun, which was finally rising and giving them minimal light.

They focused on Spitfire first. Using magical spells developed for emergencies, they attempted to restart her heart.

They didn’t have much of a clue for how long it had been since her heart stopped. They knew it effected blood flow to the brain, so it made it extremely important that they got it pumping again as soon as possible.

After a few seconds of mustering up magic, the unicorn’s first attempt failed. Spitfire still laid lifeless and was running out of time.

Muttering words of frustration, the unicorn mustered up an even stronger spell, focusing on the yellow Pegasus’ chest.

“Come on, come on, come on!” He said, his deep voice wavering, caused the stress of his job.

When the spell was finished, a relieved expression came across the stallion’s face. The other stallion took is as a sign that the spell worked, and they could hoist her onto the back of one of stallions, as they had already done with Soarin’.

Spitfire’s heart was beating, but she remained unconscious, which wasn’t a good sign.

It took a few seconds of focusing as two of the unicorn’s used their magic to lift Spitfire onto the brown stallion’s back. They then focused on lifting Soarin’ and using lesser spells to heal the wounds on his legs and back. They simply didn’t have the time to revive him his unconsciousness until they arrived at the hospital.

The backs of the carrier stallions were padded to absorb the shock of their running with the injured ponies on top of them. It became increasingly clear that the yellow Wonderbolt’s heart was only beating because of the magic. It was vital that they got her to the emergency room as fast as possible.

“Zecora, what else do you know about their situation?” One stallion asked while the other three left quickly, with the injured Wonderbolts.

“It was unknown to me, until recently, that they were lost in the forest of Everfree.

Spitfire and Soarin’ came and saw me, though I had no clue to where they could be.

When I saw Spitfire she was extremely sick, I gave her a potion to help her with it.”

“Thanks for your help,” The burly stallion said, quickly making his way to Ponyville hospital where the others have headed.

Soarin’ was going in and out of consciousness on his way there. He was laying on the padded saddle of the Emergency Response Pony, but only could get a glimpse of the surroundings before he fell back into unconsciousness.

Then the magic that was being performed on him set in. The unicorn that had been performing the healing spell on him didn’t even notice him waking up, and instead quickly ran to work on the yellow Wonderbolt as they galloped towards the hospital. They quickly were able to exit the forest.

Soarin’ couldn’t budge. His body was too weak. However, he was aware of his surroundings, and somewhat aware of what was happening. It was quite literally a blur and his mind was a few steps behind what his were seeing.

He looked to his left where he saw Spitfire on the back of the other running stallion. They were already in the middle of town, and were making great time.

The mare’s head bobbed back and forth from how fast the stallion was running. A greenish glow of magic surrounded her, its effect keeping her alive for the time being. Soarin’ was in no state of mind to even understand anything around him. He was at the lowest level of consciousness and everything seemed like a blur.

Once they entered the hospital, they were almost instantly put onto beds with wheels. Spitfire was strapped down due to her lack of consciousness, the green glow of the magic still upon her.

Soarin’ watched as the yellow mare was taken into a different part of the hospital.

Is that the last time I’ll ever see her?

His attention was quickly brought back to the doctors and nurses above him, as they moved him towards wherever they were taking him. He hadn’t a clue as to where he would be. However, his vision was clearing up, and he was slowly starting to get a grip.

One of the nurses suddenly shone a light in both of his eyes, causing him to wince.

The light-coated nurse didn’t say anything; she instead nodded towards another pony that was out of Soarin’s view.

They turned his cart to the left, and then stopped. This was clearly where he would be for the time being.

As his brain tried to decipher what was around him, the nurse, a brown coated mare, spoke up calmly.

“Mr. Soarin’, are you there? We need to see how responsive you are,”

The effort to speak caused him to close his eyes,” I’m…I’m…I’m okay,” He said with a chuckle, knowing that he definitely wasn’t okay, and the stress in his voice surely showcased that.

“Can you give me any information about your friend?” She said, levitating a room-temperature glass of water in front of him to drink. After quickly finishing drinking the water, Soarin gathered himself to speak.

“Spitfire is sick…she was attacked by a Manticore…it hurt…it bit her wing…where is she?”

“Oh,” Was the nurse’s only response, as she stood over him with a clipboard which she started writing on.

“How is she? Where is she?” The stallion reiterated, a little louder.

“She’s in a different part of the hospital so the other doctors can tend to her injuries. We need to focus on you right now, hun,”

“Tell me as soon as you can,”

The next few hours were anything but relieving for the blue stallion. He was shipped to different units where he was examined and tested, only to be carted somewhere else. Staring up at the ceiling only left him with his thoughts once more and the occasional talk with one of the nurses taking care of him.

One thing he noted was that water never tasted as amazing as it had once they deemed it safe for him to drink as much as he wanted. It was as if his whole world was revived just within the liquid that he hadn’t much of the past few days. However, it only led to the almost sickening hunger he felt, and the doctors were worried that if they gave him too much food, it could be dangerous since he had so little in the past few days.

He couldn’t feel relieved. Soarin’ couldn’t feel like everything was going to be okay now that he was in care. They offered him no updates on the condition of Spitfire, and every time the thought crossed his mind, his heart fluttered with anxiousness.

Soarin’ only knew so much about the situation. He didn’t know how long he and Spitfire were outside of Zecora’s hut, he didn’t know where she was, how she was or how she would be. Something told him the nurses didn’t know either.

His back legs were wrapped in a firm cotton bandage where he was struck multiple times by the Manticore. He took medicine for his injured back and neck, along with scrapes and bruises that had accumulated during the past few days.

At a point in time, without even wanting to, the stallion fell into a deep sleep, something his body had been aching for, and in the comfort of the chilly thin hospital sheets he wasn’t able to resist falling asleep.

<><><> One week later <><><>

Spending so much time alone was what truly brought to his true feelings for the yellow Wonderbolt. The nurses updated him on her condition, but would never give a definite answer for if she was going to survive her injuries, and it was mentally killing him with the uncertainty. The only answer Soarin’ wanted was one they were unable to give him, and it was a source of anxiety for him during his recovery.

It was on the day of his release, a full week after he was admitted, when Nurse Redheart came in, a neutral expression on her face and a chart on her right front hoof. He was beyond nervous and only had thought saddening thoughts. Being the optimistic stallion he was, that wasn’t normal for him. Having been booked up by himself day after day with only his thoughts caused him as much stress as he had ever felt.

The stallion looked up at her with big eyes, though he didn’t say a word.

The mare spoke in a calm voice, “Soarin’, as you know, it’s your day to be discharged from the hospital. We know you’ve wanted to hear the condition of your friend, and I’m terribly sorry that weren’t able to tell you sooner. She’s going to make a full recovery, Soarin’”

The stallion gulped, feeling the familiar feeling of tears welling up behind his eyes.

“She’s in a very deep sleep right now. We were able to build a cast to help her wing heal, short term and long term-“

“I want to see her,” he said adamantly, sitting up in his bed, “I won’t leave until I do,”

She led him through a hallway into a different room, where the more injured ponies were held. Passing nurses and doctors, and going through hallways that seemingly never ended. Of course, his anxiousness made the whole walk seem eons longer. He had bandages on his hind legs and back, but he didn’t notice the pain. His eyes scavenged the area for any sign of the yellow mare.

“Here,” The nurse said finally, opening a curtain to reveal the yellow mare laying in a bed, her injured wing outstretched over the side of the bed in a cast.

He sat next to her bed and put her hoof in the middle of his, cradling it as he spoke softly towards her. He spoke about how much he wanted her to stay alive, how much he loved her and how much he missed her. He spoke from the heart, which was not something he had done often before their ordeal. The nurse left and closed the curtain with her magic to leave Soarin’ alone with the sleeping Wonderbolt.

He let the silence set in as she adjusted his position next to Spitfire’s bed. Seeing her for the first time was very emotional for him. He knew he would have to let her sleep, he knew she needed it. He was very fine with waiting. He was still ecstatic over being told that she was going to make a full recovery. Soarin’ couldn’t get rid of the smile on his face, as he sat in a more comfortable position and waited willfully.

Soarin’s father had told him when he was just a colt that when ponies were in a deep sleep, they could hear him. He didn’t believe him but he thought it was worth a try. He considered it better than sitting and staring.

“The rest of the Wonderbolt’s are worried about you. Yesterday they said that I could start practicing again once I am discharged, since the doctors said my leg wounds were healed and my concussion is okay, which I doubt since I’m still getting these headaches. I told them no. Not until you’re back. They looked at me weird, as if I was crazy. I don’t care, I couldn’t return without you,”

Soarin’ sighed, which was almost habitual for him. He wasn’t bored, but was expectant as always. More and more time kept passing, though it seemed to go by impossibly slow.

He looked at his somewhat dirty coat and quickly noticed how tired he was. He had only just arrived after a nearly sleepless night before at his temporary home back in Ponyville. It’s how it had been, he had only gone back to Canterlot once to update the team with Spitfire’s condition personally.

“Hello Mr. Soarin’,” A voice called from the entrance, startling the stallion.

“Just going to make sure her cast is secure, and quickly check up on how she’s doing,” Nurse Redheart’s voice was as calming as ever.

“Of course,”

After fidgeting with a few complicated looking machines next the mare’s bed, the nurse spoke up, “It seems everything is fine. Her heartbeat has increased on its own, which we’ll need to keep an eye on. It’s nothing startling, just an observation, which I’ll note just in case,”

The Pegasus nodded, light moving back and forth on the wall behind him from the dim lights in the room.

“You look so tired, Soarin’. You should go home. We’ll take care of her, you need rest. This is the kind of rest she has needed, it’s doubtful that she’ll wake up soon,” The nurse pointed out in a calm voice.

“I know. I-I, I just want to stay for a little longer. If that’s okay,” Soarin’ hadn’t even realized it was past eight pm.

“Of course. Remember to sign out when you do leave,” Nurse Redheart mused, putting the newly edited clipboard back on the edge of the bed, then leaving the room.

The blue stallion sighed once more. The dim light in the room only added to his tiredness. His muscles ached and his eyelids felt heavy. However, being by Spitfire was important to him.

He studied the area around the mare’s hospital bed. Her chest raised and lowered slowly with his breath, almost on pace with every two seconds that passed.

Soarin’ noticed that her mane was an absolute mess.

“You wouldn’t want anypony to know, but you hate having your mane so mangled, so I’ll fix it,”

Soarin’ got up and leaned over the bed, carefully forming the mare’s mane to at least resemble her usual style.

“There,” Soarin’ said, grinning as if he had accomplished something.

He turned around and got back into the spot he had been sitting. He didn’t want to go home. The stallion couldn’t help but hope that the nurse would let him stay longer.

The ticking on the clock suddenly came to his attention, though it had been in the background since he arrived next to Spitfire.

He started counting each tick, as if it would help him pass the time. He would glance over at the sleeping Spitfire almost on a minute-basis as he checked how high he could count.

135…136…137…136…1…wait?

Soarin’ began again, trying to focus more. He rest his head on his front hoof.

The Pegasus didn’t notice that his eyes had closed. Even while sitting down, his head had lowered at an awkward angle.

Ten minutes had suddenly passed, in what felt like a minute or so. He yawned, a little louder than he should have, then almost started counting the ticks again.

Then he looked up.

“Hi,” a weakened voice called out.

The stallion half-thought he misheard.

“S-Spitfire?” He responded, his heart racing as fast as his mind. He craned his neck up to get a better view of the mare on the bed.

“Ye-yeah,”

Soarin’ was instantly on his hooves. He stood next to bed and gazed at the mare on the bed empathetically.

“H-Hey, you’re okay,” The stallion said, not even close to knowing what to say. He had a thousand things to say at once, but couldn’t even choose one.

“Yeah,” Spitfire responded, barely a whisper. Her eyes were barely open, and her breathing was really heavy, “How’s my wing?”

“The doctors haven’t told me much…I was going to be discharged today. It’s in a cast, but I’m sure with magic it can be returned to how it was. I…I’m just so happy to see you alive…”

Welling behind Soarin’s eyes were tears, which he held off as he spoke to the injured mare.

“Wh..what time is it?” She asked.

“It’s like nine pm,”

“How?” Spitfire asked.

“How what?” The stallion asked dumbly.

“How did we survive? I-I…I don’t remember anything,”

As Spitfire slowly started to wake up, she adjusted herself onto her side to face Soarin’.

“Well…I don’t know where to begin…I don’t know much to begin with. I was carrying you and..”

A light shone through the curtains as a nurse walked through, “Spitfire, it’s good to see that you’re awake,” The pastel green colored mare walked over to the complicated machines at the side of Spitfire’s bed and adjusted some of them with her magic.

The nurse turned her head at Soarin’, “I’m sure you’re happy she’s awake. It’s always nice to see two ponies reunite like this. You know, all he would ask about is you, dear,” The nurse said to Spitfire, “Every time he saw us. We weren’t allowed to update him because we had to do so much in so little time,”

Soarin’ placed his hoof on the side of bed, Spitfire smiling at him as she laid on her back again, moaning from the pain in the lower part of her wing. She placed Soarin’s in middle of her two hooves.

“Oh. Oh. I had assumed you were friends, since you’re Wonderbolts and all,” The nurse said with a chuckle, “This makes your story even more….adorable! It’ll spread across Equestria like wildfire!” The nurse gushed for a moment before she settled down. She used her magic to write on a clipboard that had been placed at the foot of the yellow Wonderbolt’s bed.

“Now Spitfire, I understand that you are, uh, definitely exhausted and probably want to sleep lonhger. Visiting hours are coming to a close very soo-“

“Can he…can Soarin’ take me home with him?” The Wonderbolt interrupted, trying to sit up in her bed, “I’m only tired…I don’t think I need to stay here longer,” Soarin’s response was to look up eagerly at the nurse.

The nurse pondered this for a moment. She picked up the chart on the edge of Spitfire’s bed and scanned through it, “Well, here it this seems to show that there’s no particular need to stay here. You do have a lot of recovery to go through, but it isn’t anything you couldn’t do at home. However, you have just woken up. You have been sleeping so often the past week. I need to know that you can walk by yourself before I can discharge you,”

Soarin’ and the Nurse waited for the mare to stand up. With an inhale preparing for the effort, Spitfire sat up, pulled the white sheet to the side, and slowly got off the bed. Soarin’ was quickly by her side just in case she wasn’t able to stay up.

“I’m fine,” The mare insisted, standing next to Soarin’. She examined the many bandages on her front hoof and the cast on her wing and sighed, “I…I really got myself into trouble didn’t I?” She said with chuckle.

“So? You’re tough as nails,” Soarin’ said to be positive.

The white colored nurse took a few seconds to contemplate.

“Mr. Soarin’, you’ll have a lot of work to do if you’re going to take care of her until she’s all well,”

“I know,” The stallion replied without hesitation. Spitfire couldn’t help but smile at the fact he was so willing to continue to help her. It also made her feel quite embarrassed, knowing he had already done so much for her.

“I’ll have to brief you on what you’re going to have to do, of course. That’s hospital policy. We couldn’t just send you on your way without knowing your duties when taking care of her. You just got over injuries yourself, you know!” The nurse noted, motioning her hooves to the bandage on Soarin’s back.

The nurse went and had several interns clean up Spitfire’s room as they exited. The light caused both Soarin’ and Spitfire to cringe as they entered the room where other injured ponies were held behind closed curtains. When they got to the reception desk the nurse talked to Soarin’ while the yellow mare went to sit down on a chair to preserve her energy.

From her position she could see the bandages on the back of Soarin’s legs, and the bandage on his back.

It made her feel guilty and shameful for having ever gotten into the situation. She regretted waiting so long to retrieve medicine for her sickness. The mare regretted taking the wrong pathway that led to the Manticore attacking her.

Most of all, she was thankful. She was thankful that Soarin’ has risked his own life to save hers. She was gracious that he had put so much effort despite her weakened state keeping them back constantly. When she gazed at the stallion while he spoke to the nurse at the front desk, she felt warmth in her chest and couldn’t resist smiling.

When they were finally discharged, with assistance from one of the stallions that had saved them, the two found a place in Ponyville to stay the night before they could return to Canterlot, and eventually, return to being Wonderbolts.

<><><><><><><><><>

There was a moment for both of them only three days from returning from the hospital. They were still staying at their temporary home in Ponyville. The quietness and respectful nature of the Ponyville folks gave them the privacy they needed as Soarin’ tried his best to nurse Spitfire back to health. For the first time in those three day, Soarin’ was the one sleeping and Spitfire was the one awake.

He hadn’t allowed her to walk anywhere and had insisted he do everything for her. Now that he was asleep, Spitfire had a lot of time to think. She laid next to him the bed, and finally had the time to just reflect on the past few weeks.

It sent a chill down her spine as she imagined herself within the teeth of the manticore, so she quickly moved onto a happier subject. Soarin’ saving her life. No matter how many times she would remind herself, it would always warm her heart to realize that Soarin’s her hero, friend and boyfriend.

The moment at night when they had kissed had most likely given her the strength she needed to get as far she had when they were in the forest.

Laying on her her good wing, she rolled onto her side and faced the sleeping stallion.

She rested her muzzle behind his neck, and sighed a content sigh.

Surprisingly, this woke him up.

“O-Oh...I’m sorry Soarin’” The yellow mare said, blushing a little.

Rubbing his eyes, he turned over to face the mare, “How long was I asleep?”

“A while,”

Their noses almost touched as they spoke, “Do you need anything?”

“No, I just want you,” Spitfire, sounding a little naughtier than she had intended.

Soarin smiled, “You need sleep now, huh?” He said with a chuckle, “I’ve never seen you blush so much since I met you,”

“Oh I just...” The mare responded, thought cutting herself off to think for a second, “You know...do you think we’ll....work out? Even after all of this? I mean, before we just...”

“Shhhh. Don’t talk about the past. All I see is a future,” The stallion said with a smile. He gave Spitfire a peck on the nose, “I love when you blush. It’s absolutely adorable, I’ve never seen it before!”

“Stop it!” The mare responded, playfully poking him the chest.

“I think things are different now...things feel different,” Soarin’ said. he then ventured further, “I love you, Spitfire,”

”I love you too, Soarin’"

<><><><><><><><><>

They had been through a lot as friends and a lot when they had tried dating before. They were immature, cocky Wonderbolts who hadn’t a care in the world when they had dated. Though they had harbored feelings for each other even after they had broken up, their egos were too big to admit it.

It didn’t take courage for Spitfire to admit that her feelings for Soarin’ were strong. They were so strong they were almost tangible. It wasn’t just because he had saved her life; it was how close they got after he did. The compassionate warmth she felt wasn’t just because she was grateful that he saved her life, it was because they had gotten closer in several days than they had ever gotten before, and it made her proud to know they had grown so much in such a short time.

Despite her own objections, Soarin’ catered to Spitfire’s every need during the time after. His work went beyond helping to make sure that the yellow Wonderbolt made a full recovery, he also dealt with the many reporters that wanted a picture of the two. Their whole ordeal spread across Equestria like wildfire as predicted.

The two only became closer as they recovered. Though Soarin’ would insist everything was fine, Spitfire would pester him about how she could make it up to him for saving her life.

Even after the horrendous ordeal that they had gone through, Lightning Streak was the first to pester Soarin’ about his and Spitfire’s relationship. When the blue stallion saw fit, he allowed Spitfire to go with him as he returned to the practicing with the Wonderbolts. After three practices the mare couldn’t handle it anymore and joined in on a few races.

It was the only time Lightning Streak had ever beaten her in a race, coincidently.

It was only two months after their survival in the Everfree forest that Soarin’ returned to performing. Day in and day out, Soarin’ and Spitfire were together, and day in and day out, they got along.

Maybe it did take such a horrifying event to bring them closer than they had before. They had respect for eachother that they didn’t have before.

So maybe it is unlikely for two members of an elite team to truly be in love and last, but then again, they survived a terrifying ordeal together, which was much more unlikely than that.

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Comments ( 46 )

Yay! Story complete~! Good work, haha. I noticed a few mistakes in the part I didn't get to edit.

...her heart to realize that Soarin’s her hero, friend and boyfriend.

Coltfriend not boyfriend.

“I think things are different now...things feel different,” Soarin’ said. he then ventured further, “I love you, Spitfire,”

Capitalize 'h'.

”I love you too, Soarin’

- lacking a quotation mark.
And you missed a ' after Soarin' in one place.
All in all, I was really happy to be 'on board', I love pre-reading =D
:ajsmug:

Not bad. There were a few mistakes here and there, but overall a cute little story.

A wonderful way to end this story.

Great story, a very heartwarming tale to say the least.

I'm just amazed Spitfire was able to fly again with any speed.


:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I was really excited when this updated and I was not disappointed!
Amazing story; thank you for writing it for us to read! :twilightsmile:

I was reading through it when it was updated! After the last chapter I was wondering: Wasn't this tagged incomplete when you started reading? And what do you know, now it isn't anymore! :pinkiehappy:

The story is great and well written. Two thoughts though: A mention of the Wonderbolt search party showing up at the hospital would have closed that part better. And as for how Spitfire can make it up to Soarin' ... say yes to a marriage proposal? :duck:

And after that rainbow committed suicide

You made me cry.:applecry:
Thank you.

654791 Girlfriend is canon in the show, so im guessing Boyfriend is going to be. :rainbowdetermined2:
654847 i am going to skim through this whole story and knock out any remaining mistakes :eeyup:
654942 I'm very glad to hear that, i was definitely nervous about how well this ending would be received
655861 thanks so much! :twilightsmile::pinkiesmile:
656111 I probably should have had that in the story...Both the Wonderbolts at the hosptial and marriage proposal....hmmm, maybe i'll start another story with this pairing some day? . :twilightblush: thank you though!


656535 really? Well i am glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile::pinkiehappy:

Totally amazing and heartwarming story!
Just one thing I can't stop thinking about. Didn't Spitfire say something about writing a poem somewhere around the middle of the story? Or am I just imagining things?
But yeah, great story! Keep it up!

660878 Yeah, I was going to have her read that poem to Soarin' at the hospital, but unfortunately, i am a horrible poet. It would have been a nice touch on the story, but i tried like 100 times to think of something that sounded nice, but failed :twilightblush:

If i can ever think of a good poem, i'll maybe add some sort of epilogue to this story. Or, write a new story about them all together, and have the poem in that story. Who knows? :D :twilightsmile:

A great little story with enough daww to fill a jumbo jet. Having Spitfire getting weaker and weaker really had me on the edge of my seat. Well done! :twilightblush:

750708 thanks for the kind words! :twilightsmile::pinkiesmile:

Although I keep on catching rather obvious and annoying mistakes and the writing of the story isn't as good as many. The story is still brilliant, heartwarming at its best,

780919 "The writing of the story isn't as good as many"

Well fuck, You might as well just tell me to quit writing next time.

784347
... Yeah that came out rather harsh didn't it?
Sorry the stories I do tend to read are mostly high quality, while this is medium quality.
Not best, plenty of room to improve but still a rather nice story even in this state.

784354 Well that is really dissapointing since I put a lot of effort into this story. Guess it's good that I pretty much stopped writing, anyway.

784390
Not really. You have a lot of potential really. Sure this might not of been that good, but that's what happens. I can't remember the saying exactly but you it goes something like this 'You have to go though millions of bad pieces of art to reach something special'. With writing being a form of art.
I remember a famous artist saying that when he was in art school he was told the main reason he was there was to get though all of the horrible drawings he had so he could reach the special ones.
I really think you should continue writing.

784400 "Sure, this might not of been that good"

I don't even know how to respond to that. Go back to your "High quality" fanfics.

784414
... Did you not pay attention to ANYTHING else I said for crying out loud?
Hell, in fact you responded to practicly the most unimportant part of what I said!
I try to encourage you to keep on writing and you simply remark on the fact that I don't think that this story is one of the best stories around.
Seriously, what the hell?

784432 I read the rest, but that doesn't matter. You didn't say it's not "One of the best around", you said it's "not that good".

I had been writing for about 7 months when this fic was written, I had written 4 stories before it, over 200,000 words written. They all got good comments. Being told my most recent is: "Sure, it may not have been that good" does NOTHING to encourage me, after the countless hours I had put into writing up until that point. I may have overreacted, but waking up to this just put me in a total shit mood.

784458
It happens. People will always have different opinions about things. Its just a matter of making sure that the negative don't pull you down and you improve yourself though the criticizm.
I mean just look, you got around 70 comments most of them positive and 62 likes - myself included - and I don't know how many favs except my own!
I admit a few things did come across wrong and I did put my hoof in my mouth several times for that and I'm sorry.
But the rest of what I had said? It DOES matter. It really really does...
Also the lyra-Bon Bon story you got look very interesting.

784496 My Lyra-BonBon story was actually featured for a short time, that should count for something. Sorry for being rude, I am going through a LOT of uncertainity in my life right now, and that causes me to be short with me people.

784797
Things happen, I understand that. These things can prevent people from writing or change their attitude.
As for you writing, keep at it. You got a lot of potential and ability, just need a little bit more polish, practice and persistance to really shine.
Maybe get a pre/proof reading if you don't have on. A good one really, really helps.

Very cute story, nicely handled.

There were a couple of spots that had questionable grammar (blanking on them right now), but still good.

Awesome story. A healthy amount of suspense and enough daww to cause several heart attacks. Don't beat yourself up about a grammar mistake or two. I've quite a few fics in my day and trust me, yours is definitely one of the better ones, both in grammar and plot flow. I hope to see more from you in the discernible future.:eeyup:

I don't always feel genuinely bad about having a good amount of likes, favorites, comments, and views on one of my stories.

But when I do, it's when I read something as simply fucking fantastic as this and see that it doesn't have what it deserves :applecry:

This was brilliant. The suspense, the premise, the flow, the romance... Great story, my friend. It may not do much, but I tend to spread this like wildfire.

900342 Thank you, you're awesome too :heart:

902617 Thank you for the kind words :heart:

why am i only seeing this now? BRAVO!

Hands down the best Spitfire x Soarin' fic I've ever read. Instant fav :pinkiehappy:

1205892 Wow, thank you very much, that really means a lot to me. :twilightsmile:

1201888 No it's not, go spew your bigotry somewhere else. That pairing is adorable.

congratulations you earned a mustache: :moustache:
wait no...FIVE MORE! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

EPIAC TO THE MAXX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:twilightsmile::heart:

That was amazing story, but there was something lacking at the end but i cant tell what exaclly.
I think this story touched my heart. Very Good job :twilightsmile:

Sincerely,this story was really great,there's only two stories that made me cry and this is the second one.The first one was my little dashie,im a big fan of soarin and spitfire shipping especially this one this sad what actually went great with this story was listening to Avenged sevenfold like Seize the day,carry on,nightmare,and im not ready to die. Five stars.

2086608 Thanks for the kind words. :) :rainbowkiss:

This was a very good story. I noticed that you questioned what to put in certain parts of the story. Have you thought about going back through the story and fixing up a couple of the, lets just call them "ill-written", parts? All I know is that I greatly enjoyed this story and hope that you continue to write great stories like this. Just work on grammar a little bit.:twilightsheepish:

2269085 I'm pretty sure I have made great strides in grammar ability since I wrote this. :twilightsmile:

I want to go through all my stories and work on them and fix them up, but that's going to have to wait until I graduate in a month. I sure will do that, though!

Thanks for kind words. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by soarin562 deleted Jul 10th, 2019

4785321 Ridiculously late response aside, this was like my fourth story written ever, there are definitely errors, and I'd probably do some re-writing for parts if it were worth it, but it's a nearly 3 year old fanfic, no one really reads it anymore I imagine. I might just re-write it altogether, though. Though I haven't even read Roar of the Manticore, my own story lol, in like 2 years, I remember it being pretty well paced. Maybe I need to re-read it, but it could also be different tastes in story telling.
4027379 Thanks for the kind words you wrote nearly a year ago! I'm considering editing it, but I might go for an overhaul and re-write a lot of the fic. It's my best rated, it deserves some polishing haha.

Some good ol' soarinfire! I absolutely love it:twilightsmile:

Omg I love this :rainbowwild:

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