• Member Since 14th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 4th, 2016

Coolestninja1242


Call me Blue...just Blue

E

Octavia Melody and Vinyl Scratch are a lovely Manehatten couple and have been together for nearly a year and a half. They are happy and in love, the only problem is Octavia is a changeling. Octavia has been on the run for a long time and just when things are going there best it looks like her past has finally caught up with her. Just yesterday her only problem was her noisy neighbors Lyra and Bon Bon. Kind of based off of the song "The Sameling" with amazing cover art by Gift-Wrap on DeviantArt.com I give you Duel Melody.

Chapters (9)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 112 )

Thank you for putting this on FimFic, as much as I like DA I can't stand using it for reading. Although, I did read the fic from there... after I opened up a word doc and formatted it. Regardless, beyond the issues I had with its presentation, I enjoyed the content of this story. So, I'll be taking your first fav, thumb, and comment. I'll patiently wait for more. Let me know if you want me to pick over it for minor grammatical errors and typos.:twilightsmile:

3109569 On an unrelated note~ have you hit submit on the story yet? it doesnt seem to show up unless I go straight to its URL.

3109580 I had and it was revoked due to some minor issues I'd just fixed up so I'm waiting for approval for the second time now

The paragraphs seem really long and it's not the smoothest but it's intriguing.

An interesting concept. I'm looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

hmmm intriguing, i sure hope to see more of this soon! :ajsmug:

Looking good so far cant wait to see more

This is a great story, but it's a little hard to read. Try to put your text into paragraphs in the future.

Hmm, not bad. This idea is new to me, I like it. Keep up the good work.:twilightsmile:

Well, Chrysalis' disguise sure was a...surprise :rainbowlaugh:

3393320 You are my favorite person right now xD

3393421 Yay! I love being able to make people smile. :pinkiehappy:

3378475 Sorry to bother you with this...its really a trivial thing and I'm trying to make this story the best I possibly can so if you could possibly (if you don't mind that is) elaborate on what you mean by "put it into paragraphs." To my knowledge of what a paragraph is this is in paragraphs. Not saying its perfect, in fact some of the paragraphs are still a little on the long side. I'm just not exactly sure what you meant.

3393929 Basically, I think there are two different ways of marking paragraphs. The first, which you have used, is using indentations to separate the text into the different parts of the narrative for the chapter. The thing is, this is mostly used in books, where the pages also break up the text. On a webpage, the text just appears in one long intimidating block. If you look at other stories on fimfiction, you can see that other writers use blank lines to separate their paragraphs, the first lines of which are often indented in addition. This makes the paragraphs clearer, stops the text from being intimidating, and overall makes the story easier to read. When I wrote 'Put it into paragraphs' I was referring to this second way of doing things.

Hope this helps!

3397812 That's actually really helpful. You have to understand my confusion though...I am used to writing in a book format and reading it in that format, but thank you for pointing that out. I will be sure to go back and fix it some time in the near future and do the same with all of the future chapters.

3401700 Glad to be able to help! :twilightsmile:

Great chapter! Looking forward to the next.

This was a great chapter, and I'm really looking forward to Vinyl's reaction! Sorry to hear that you're ill, hope you get better soon!

Can't wait to see Vinyl's reaction. I can only imagine she would take it hard (maybe at first trying to let it slide off), maybe not so much because she's a changeling, but at least because of being lied to.

-sighs- Poor Tavi, silly Vinyl, nosey Lyra, and...Bon Bon. I'll be watching this. I've enjoyed it thus far.

I think you did pretty well with this chapter. Considering that Octavia is trying to face a fear that has been gnawing away at her for years, all of the rush in this chapter up to needing to set the one feels quite natural. My only qualm is that that the broken leg mended its self in what seemed like seconds (even with magic that's a bit over powered- I personally feel it would have been better to have Lyra set the bone when they get back and have her healed by morning) and that the rush doesn't end to show the relief of finding Vinyl and the gentle support in caring for the drunk on the way home. But all in all aside from the super speedy heal, I would say a job well done.

3468025 Fair enough...that was what I felt was one of the biggest problems with it but couldn't for the life of me think of a way out of it. I suppose Lyra could have been away out even if I see her as also fairly clumsy. Both her and Vinyl would have the dexterity for it but not the patients or focus...I think any way. Thanks for the comment!

You have no idea how shocked I was when you started explaining the changeling origin story. I'm actually starting a fic with the same basic idea on their origins (just the origin will be the main focus of my story). I can't wait to see where you take it. (and don't worry, it still is a very unique idea as I've never heard this idea before you or myself thought of it. You and I simply came upon the same conclusion to three completely unrelated events.)

3536146 But there are other great minds out there. Maybe it's that great minds of blue pegasi think alike. :rainbowdetermined2:

3537342 Maybe it's "Blue Pegasus are awesome" :rainbowdetermined2:

3539735 I'm liking the sound of that.

3539819 I'm not exactly sure if I'll take it any where in particular with this fic but I had been going back and forth about writing a loosely associated fallow up with Cadance as a filly and that's how I came up with the origin. I still might use it again here even if its simply another mention of it. I

3543634 Well just keep thinking about it and what could happen. My story started by a picture of Sombra and Chrysalis saying "Ship them now". Besides, you being the only other person I've heard of to think of that connection I would like to see how you deal with it.

3544346 Mine started with a picture of some ponies being made into the changelings

3545326 well, you know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words? That picture is currently worth 15,515 words.

3545592 So it is...or at least half of them xD

did lyra just break the fourth wall?

check paragraph 19 again. What kind of breeze?

3547912 Ah I see the problem...spell check really is not my friend.

3547921 :rainbowlaugh: I understand. Spellcheck has never been good with context (especially on phones). I don't use spell/grammar check because anything I don't know how to spell I will google and if I trust a program to the checking then I'll likely get lazy and not do a twice-over it myself.

3547954 I should've done that, I thought to do that but I just didn't. I need to learn, spell check is the enemy! LONG LIVE THE CHRYSTAL EMPIRE!

3547998 :twilightoops: Please tell me you did that on purpose. (:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:)

3548107 ... Oh gosh. Check your last post for spelling. :rainbowlaugh: Irony in its fullest form.
P.S. FOR THE SWARM!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!