• Member Since 10th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen April 1st

Bluesparkks


E

Shortly after her lyre is desecrated by magically altered parasprites, an irritated Lyra receives a package from a pony she hasn't heard from in years. And if the contents are anything to judge by, that pony misses her very much...

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 50 )

... Though I rated it 5 stars it is claiming that I have rated it at 3.

But I am very glad to see this here, it was a very touching story.

Ah yes, I read this on Pony Fiction Archives. Allow my to repost my response, as it still sums up my thoughts on this story.

Reading this was quite painful. This pain does not lie with any sort of grammatical or literary error within the story, nor does it even lie with feelings for the characters involved. No, this is an existing pain; long since hidden behind a mask of indifference. The raw emotion, the absolute depths of disparity; few know of (or believe exists) this level of depression, and fewer still are able to portray it accurately. Being one who walks the same path of grey, I'd say you've done a remarkable job.

We all have the masks we wear. Masks for every occasion and every emotion. The mask worn most often becomes second nature; the bearer sometimes forgetting entirely that it is a mask. More often than not, it takes another with a similar mask to remind us of the one we wear.

My own mask faltered when I reached the end of this, and my true self poured forth. This story reminded me of who I truly am underneath the mask. I thank you for that.

im glad this is here. i dont quite remember, but im pretty sure this is what inspired me to start writing fanfiction (ponies only, of course). truly beautiful. and i thank you. :moustache::heart:

Sir and or Madam, that was an amazing story. A pleasant mix up from the usual Lyra/Octavia rivalries and friendships I've seen, bravo, bravo. I particularly liked the execution when you switched between the book and Lyra's reactions, it was very smooth and kept the emotion of the story intact throughout.

For personal reasons I would prefer not to talk about, you have made me cry like a girl. You have a gift with words, and I sincerely thank you for writing this.

It's on the level of my little dashie sadness. I love it nevertheless.

Almost cried. It was wonderful and made me start monologging. Well done and hope to see more of you work:twilightsmile:

157610 Play it out, bro. I know that feel.

how the hell does this story have less views than my story? mine is of poor quality, not finnished, etc... it has 600-700 views. this only has 214? wtf??????????????????????????????????


really loved the story, it was 5/5 stars!

I love this story so much. Octavia is definitely one of my top background ponies...she's just all-out amazing. Classical, sophisticated, elegant...you pulled her off very well, even if it was technically a self-insert. 5 stars.

Read this over on EqD, glad to see it here too so I can give you more stars and a favorite, truly a moving story :twilightsmile:

I read it again. This has to be the seventh time, at least, that I've read this story since it debuted on EqD; I really wasn't lying when I said it was my absolute favorite. I feel like I could recite it completely from memory at this point. And no matter how many times I come back to read this, it always brings tears to my eyes. Right as she tucks the letter into her strap and walks away.

Every. Time.

And not just a single manly tear. No, it's a heart-broken silent waterfall.

But still, I don't care. Not one bit. Because here I am, reading it again. There's one thing within this story that brings me back time and time again without fail: I see myself in Octavia. Maybe not the exact circumstances, but the striking similarities are there; there was a someone once, and I know I'll never see her again, but deep down and after all this time, I wish she would realize exactly what she meant to me. And somehow, Black and White helps me get though that. It agitates me to read a story that I can relate to so well, but at the same time, comforts me to know that I'm not the only one who has gone through something like this.

So I guess what I'm saying is thank you. I know I've said that many times before, but I don't think I say it enough; I don't know if you'll understand exactly how much this story means to me or how much I treasure it. It's purpose wasn't to relay a life lesson or even entertain; it was just meant to tell a story. But even so, it still delivers a message to me. One that I'll never forget.

And it doesn't matter how many more times I come back to read it, I know it will still leave me with red eyes and tears like it has so many times before.

I believe Eon and Fuse have hit the nail on the head, this story is packed with a heartache that many of us seem to be quite familiar with. When you first showed me this story, Blue, I was hooked instantly. I felt so attached to Octavia, finding myself having to stop, go in my bathroom, and cry because she and I shared so much in common in the way she was written. It, as Fuse said, unmasks those old wounds that almost never seem to have enough time to heal. While I've never experienced a heartbreak of that magnitude, it is such a powerful read I am just torn apart as I move through those words; even though the stunning pain I feel from this story is much more intense than I had first anticipated when I first read it, I know it's nothing more than a fraction of how it must truly feel.

As painful as it was, it provides such a comforting feeling the more you read it. The emotions evoked from your amazing story aren't exactly a rare occurrence for me, being as I find my emotion through song or story. It is, however, the intensity of those emotions, the raw power you've placed in those words that really does you justice as a writer. That's what makes you an amazing writer, that's what separates you from many others, and that's the foundation of excellency in writing.

Kudos, truly, my friend. You earned this 5 of 5, now everyone else needs to read this so they can throw their 5's at you as well. :pinkiehappy:

I read this story back in July when it was posted on EquestriaDaily. I've taken every opportunity since to laud it as the greatest one-shot produced in this fandom, and I still stand by that today. I don't have any way of accurately articulating praise for this story, so I'll just leave it at that.

In my recommending this to many-a folk someone told me that the constant font changing became a bit jarring, so I decided to go a bit, well, editorial on it (mainly little things—removing the accent from forte, standardising the ellipses, fixing inconsistencies with inter-word spaces, disambiguating nested quotes), to "spruce" it up a bit, as it were. It was also a nice opportunity for me to throw the story through the nostalgia test—this was one of the first fan-fictions I had read, after all. But this third reading was no less impacting than the first, and I'll still continue recommending this story at every possible occasion.

(One thing to note: you use the British grey while everything else uses American English (where it's spelt gray). This is left as is in my edit, since I didn't want to change any of the words, but it may be something you'd like to change yourself.)

The resulting .pdf of my editing: http://goo.gl/E1qor
If you'd like the .tex file to work with this yourself, or if you'd like it exported in some other format, or if you'd like me to take it down for whatever reason, just ask.

Thank you for this gift to the community.

I feel like this story should have turned me into a total mess. yet, for some reason i didn't cry. I certainly felt for her as i feel almost the exact same most of the time. maybe it's the small differences that softened the impact idk, all i know is that you managed to capture my exact position in life. i mean, maybe i'm a lighter shade of grey but i still never truly connect with anyone. i have friends sure and if they were to stop being my friends i would be upset, but i never really connected with them. They care about me which is why i don't want them to think that happy, joyful, steve could be anything but happy and joyful.
so i keep up a mask of my own. i put down my mask for a month or two last year and caused a huge mess that just made me put it right back up. now i refuse to move it. it's beginning to feel like my face now actually. i nice big smiley face.
could be worse i suppose. i could have gone through what Octavia went through, i'd probably be left in a similar condition. maybe if i hadn't communicated how i feel to a certain someone i would be worse off, or maybe if they hadn't started hating me afterward i'd be worse off as well.
i guess i'm lucky i found some friends to help me from going to far down the path yet. i'm sort of paused just at the start. hopefully it's not too late to turn toward the white path. i'm beginning to think that as soon as i leave college, or they move away, or as soon as i am never able to see them again, i'll start that lonely trek again.
eh, maybe the feeling i have is more different the one in the story. what ever, it felt kinda good to vent, sorry it had to be in the comment section of your lovely story. still, i wish i had been able to cry.

160768
This story is famous, but it just hasn't been on FimFiction for long.

So... I am under the impression that things went north for both you and Octavia, is that not fair to say?

Damn, that was fantastic. My eyes are moist now, it was that moving. (Doesn't sound like much, but I have a medical condition that prevents me from really portraying my emotions, so moistening my eyes is big.)

198992
Star at the top of the page, right of the title. Click it.
I see a little of the mask Octavia wears on me. Except I just make a different personality. Very few people know my true personality unless they have known me for a very long time, and even so, I still hide many things to myself. I don't know if I'm worse or not.

Interestingly enough, the mask of anonymity cracks the mask I wear in real life, mostly because I can choose my audience and because I can speak more eloquently.
Oh, and this song seems to fit the mood pretty well.

This is the sort of story other stories should aspire to be like.

A beautiful and moving piece. This was almost a song in itself, well done.

Did you mean this celestial palace?
beijinglegacyblog.com/Johns_Blog/Entries/2008/8/22_The_Forbidden_City,_Eunuchs,_Surveillance_and_Giant_Otters!__files/JeffSheng-china6%2012.jpg
Anyway, good job on writing a very emotional piece, I almost cried, your story made it very tempting, but I managed to hold on.
Furthermore, once again a piece of literature has turned my thought back upon my own kindred emotions, the various regrets, sorrows, joys, and whatever else there is mixed into my life. It brings me back to the good times and the bad, and somehow lets me take solace in things that have never sheltered me before.
Octavia's voice seeped with emotional imagery, but throughout it, despite her statements about her happiness and sadness both in her time of self-discovery, the sadness won out. Whether or not this is due to the embitterment that she might of felt due to the present time(when she wrote her letter) being rather sad, or at least melancholic mellow. The happiness was snuffed out in the torrential downpour of tremulous events in her life.
I know that it is reasonable, if not expected for a character to not change his/her voice from what they are feeling when they explain their memories, but it almost seems antithetical(if that is the right word) to her promise that her story contained the autobiographical histories that were not only sad, but also happy.
In the end, you have an extremely well written sad story, but the happiness fails to color it due to its scarcity and the concurrent lack of variety in terms of tone, wording, and the sudden conclusion(which is a joyous climax(or at least hopeful)) fails to change the tone sufficiently to help me see this beyond the tragic-romance that this embodies. It leaves me with a hole in my stomach, as an unresolved tragedy would, but in my mind I know that things are looking up to Octavia.
Frankly, a good sad story is just as fulfilling as a well written good or mixed story.
Of course, Octavia's promise of a story with many parts joyful and many parts sad might actually be intentional on your part, leaving it up to the reader to resolve that her world view is tilted downwards(if sadness can truly have a direction), rather than a constant torrent of negative events that have a glimmer or two of hope, thus minimizing the effect of the happy parts, making them seem like they were only intended to cause sadness in the first place.


I loved your story, hopefully my analysis will be well received, and good luck with whatever you happen to be working on next.

This story was really well done, and touched me in a lot of ways
I understand all too well masks, loneliness, feeling lost, and having all that burn away any motivation you could have
I'm kinda stuck in that spiral right now, actually...so yeah, this hit me pretty hard

Thank you, if not for shining a light to an end, then for at least giving the darkness a voice

~Web

I nearly cried- not those sad little tears you get after a shocking scene in a movie, but full-blown ones that get over your keyboard. The fact that I can relate to this so well scares me, actually. I found this part especially amazing-

Then another year passed, and I was alone. Friendless. The one quarter note in a sea of rests, the treble clef on an empty staff, devoid of even a key or time signature.

You have a wonderful gift with words, good sir, as cheesy as that may sound. I wish I could favourite this more than once.

We all wear masks. Have to, if we want to survive. Eventually though, the masks just won't come off. And soon we forget what's behind it.

Yeah, if that didn't give it away, I can empathise with Octavia. The masks, the soul crushing loneliness, the endless emptiness your desperate to fill...

I can't be as eloquent as 157282 but you get the point.

We all wear masks. Have to, if we want to survive. Eventually though, the masks just won't come off. And soon we forget what's behind it.

Yeah, if that didn't give it away, I can empathise with Octavia. The masks, the soul crushing loneliness, the endless emptiness your desperate to fill...

In some ways, it's like reading a bit of my life. So many mistakes, so much need to express, so much fear of rejection. Like this post. I want to say something meaningful, all I can say is this pseudo philosophical junk.

Er, sorry. Rambling. Point is, it stirred some feeling in me. Not as much as I expected given the hype, but that was mostly my inner perfectionist noting story elements.

I'm shutting up now.

falcon kicked in the feels o.o

I usually avoid sad/tragedy stories... But there's just something that urges me to read this...

I will try to read it at a later date, for now - Read Later

This story was amazing. I could feel Octavia's emptiness within my heart. You really touched me at my core.:applecry:

Having just finished this story, I must say. Well done!
I wouldn't have said it's Tragic, but sad definitely marks it. Well done, indeed.

I listened to this on MLP Audiobooks and broke down in tears. Wonderful job, my good author.

Still one of the best Octavia fics out there, if not the best.

It's a joy to read and re-read, and an inspiration.

This story was touching in a way that simply cannot be described in words. Thank you, dear author. You've given me a lot to think about.

*useless try at writing something meaningful*

Nothing I say or write here will ever be able to describe this or how I feel about this. So I'll say this:

This story is a beautiful work of art.

My word... I... I can't even....
The writing is so poetic, the verse are fluent, the content is touching, the word choice....
Bravo sir, bravo.

This almost made me cry...almost... I love this story it's just sad that's all, I like how u mixed things up a bit by doing a little Octavia×Lyra thing there, I just wish there was a little more Vinyl in there ;-;

4817466
Me too.:fluttershysad:
Yeah, more Vinyl involved would have made it better in one way.

OMG...I can't believe there is so much about this version of Octavia (and what she has gone/ is going through) that I can relate to.:pinkiesad2::fluttercry:

Comment posted by PheonixStarr deleted Apr 10th, 2015

WHY HAVE I NOT READ THIS SOONER!!!

It was a great story, I loved it from beginning to end and very heart touching.

I love this story it is literally my No.1 favourite fanfic it is miles ahead of Rainbow Factory, My Little Dashie or Past Sins seriously I would pay loads to buy this in physical form.

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