• Member Since 4th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 30th, 2014



After years of living on couches and sponging off of neighbors, Vinyl Scratch finally hits it big in the music industry as a rock musician. Octavia is left with no one until Vinyl approaches her with an offer she can't refuse.

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 57 )

Pretty good story ya got here. Can't wait to see where it goes.:twilightsmile:

Quite short, not much detail involved, but there's great potential here, so I'll keep reading.

Couple grammatical errors in this chapter, nothing huge. Better detail than before, but still not stellar writing.

Sorry Canterlot, but it's my turn to outdo you for once.

This line doesn't really make sense to me. Care to explain?

Octavia ran up to Vinyl cheering the whole way. "Octavia that was incredible! You did a great job out there."

I think you wanted "Vinyl, that was incredible!".

Good chapter. This story is pretty good so far.:twilightsmile:

Short but i'm hooked, i gotta see where this goes.


Agreed, the grammar is a little jarring but i feel its made up for with a story that holds ones attention


1. I meant to say that after everypony else in Canterlot out done her her entire life, and it was finally her chance to out do them. Thanks for pointing this out, I edited it in the story to (what I hope will) fix.

2. Thank you for pointing my grammar error here, I really felt stupid after this one :facehoof:

wow, i really like this fic, keep it going man!

Hey, I enjoyed this chapter.

Octavia eventually concluded the castle was just bigger on the inside.

Hehehe. I see what you did there. :trixieshiftright:

Good chapter. Can't wait for more.

I can tell you're an above-average writer. The fact that these chapters were all churned out in a day is a testament to your raw talent. However, it is VERY raw.

The pacing is incredibly fast: what could potentially be a tens-of-thousands-of-words story at this point is only 7K right now. While this is a very good first draft, you really need to balance out your detail more. I saw you say something about making a longer chapter to add more detail, but you neglected one crucial bit of information: quality ALWAYS beats quantity.

Also, your word usage is very chunky and repetitive. You require a thesaurus. There are several cases where you use a word multiple times in quick succession, such as the word Stuff in the sections about Octavia in her apartment. Also, you use the words Vinyl and Octavia FAR too much, and need to utilize descriptive terminology rather than names. Things like white-coated mare, purple-eyed pony, raven-maned cellist, etc. Describe things about the characters when referring to them so we don't drown in a sea of the same word over and over and over again.

Also, and this is a matter of personal taste since I also am writing a music-centric storyline (not the one I have now, I'm replacing those chapters), but you should really invest some time in actually creating lyrics and describing the songs. Really, the only clue that it's rock music is that you explicitly tell us that it's rock music, without bothering to describe it. You don't even say what genre of rock it is. It could be anything: Grunge, Punk, Folk, Prog, Blues, any Metal genre... it could even be Funk Rock for all we know. And the song with the cello: you SAY that the song was so beautiful it left everypony in tears. But you neglected a crucial bit of knowledge for writing: Show, don't tell. You should study up on musical terms and at least think of a melody. Or, if you don't want to and/or can't think up a melody, then slightly modify a pre-existing song (it would be good form to credit the artists you borrow from in the Author's Note). If you don't have a frame of reference, look up Apocalyptica, 2Cellos, the Piano Guys, Lindsey Stirling (the girl who did the themes for Skyrim and one of the Kingdom Hearts games, and the Dubstep Violin piece), or any symphonic metal band (like Nightwish, Within Temptation, and possibly Kamelot). I mean, you have daily updates on the story. slow down! Put a little more work into each chapter.

Don't get me wrong, what you have is good... but not great.

Damn I feel bad for tavi:fluttercry:

you're not alone.
poor tavi!:raritydespair:

She was there for less than a minute before Princess Celestia joined her. At first she just sat down next to Octavia and placed an arm around her.

Arm? Other than that, well written as always. I hope Octavia gets to murder Sapphire before this fic is done.


Thanks for pointing this out. Yeah I wasn't sure what to put at first (I'm not that great at MLP anatomy), so I changed it wing.

2148431 In a pinch where the pony in question has no wings, foreleg will do fine.

Nearing the end, I presume... great fic so far, and the climax promises to hold up just as well as the rest!

Please let vinyl and octavia get together :fluttercry:

Hmm... I can see the "sad" aspect finally beginning to take shape here.

I found, and read all the other chapters just a couple of hours ago, and I'm like "I NEED MOAR!", and here it is :3
Great chapter! The sadness is killing me though! D:

Being completely incompetent musically, I do not know your band or what a Hoofie is parodying. Regardless, I'm still enjoying this story. It looks like there just may be a happy ending here yet.

Before You Start Your Day - Twenty One Pilots

Thanks.... made my feels cry.

I demand a Hug to feel better :fluttercry:

I'll give you a virtual hug because the song gives me feels too. :fluttercry:

But I have to say, you knowing this song made my day at 8:00 in the morning :yay:

:coolphoto: <-- I am a messy pony inside and out.

You leave me in suspense. God! lol thank you for continuing. I can't wait for more.

Thank you yet again

cant wait for when they will be togheter
bro seriously i want to see them as a couple and to see them in thier daily life,
gonna be awesome!
I can even help to edit!
ok im saying to much stuff
but that would be awesome
peace out

The thought of never being able to here the songs Vinyl had written filled her with a depression deeper than the one she had been in for the past month.

Oof... I hope the next chapter comes out soon, I want to see the next part of this...

2277284Thanks for the grammar catch :twilightsmile: I really need to work on that.

GAH!!! I need more! why must you do this to me slade.....


i wonder if Arpeggio (okay what kind of name is that seriously) knew that octavia was the one that vinyl loved would he do something to help her out

-sighs- Slade... -closes his eyes and breathes deep while smiling- ....Thank you

Come on, Tavi, just send her a message so this can end happily already...


I am going to quote another author here Ruirik:
"My Writing Philosophy: I love happy endings, I really do. That said I strongly believe that they must be earned through blood, sweat, or tears. Whichever of those three works best in the tale being told. Even dark endings must be earned. That said you can't have violence or crying for the sake of violence or crying. I don't read gore fics because they're just senseless violence for the sake of senseless violence. If I want to see that I'll go watch Hostel or Saw.

Basically what I'm ranting about (badly) is that everything must be earned in fiction. I can't just throw two characters at each other and make them fall in love and be happily ever after. They didn't earn it and it's just not interesting. Likewise I won't just severely injure a character without reason. And, at least in my writing, you can generally count on a happy ending at the end of the road."

Slade. If you don't want this type of response on your story let me know and I will take it down. But Ruirik has a great point here. Ending it now will leave so much unanswered and the readers wanting more. I trust in you Slade. This will be a great story WHEN and only when its finished. One that I will read over and over again.


I glad you put this comment up :twilightsmile:
This is how a lot of writers work.

2298105 I've always loved Vinyl's character as a whole, as well as how the fandom depicts her. Your take on the romance between her and Octavia is very exciting to read, and I often find myself waiting anxiously for the next chapter. Very well done, and thank you for writing.


I'm not even gonna lie...manly tears were shed

2333915 you are right fellow brony!
octiscratch for the win!

At the beginning, I was rather sceptic, mostly due to the pacing. However, as the story progressed, I liked it more and more with each chapter. It's great, original, and emotion-evoking. Definitely something I will recommend to my followers. :twilightsmile:

*sniffle* Why you leave me so sad?!?!?!?! :raritydespair: Never stop writing, I don't care if you're dead! Just never stop writing! :flutterrage:

I like these guys. You can follow me under the banner of OctaScratch. We shall obliterate all who ship them with other ponies! *cough* AcreuBall *cough*

It was great. I agree with 2334093, the pacing threw me early on, but you made up for it. Congrats. Caught this:

Just say "you're mind".

Should be 'mine'.

Edit: Hehe, accidentally clicked Shadow_Wolf's comment instead of Pony C U M Pie. Oh well, you can join too if you want.
Edit again: Turns out, I clicked yours TWICE instead of Pony's and Mariacheat's.:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof:


Ugh I hate that typo. Thanks for the catch though. :twilightsmile:

Yes! Happy ending at last!

I'm glad I followed this story. I don't even care that it took 6 months to update because it was a good ending

Pointless rambling. I like that stuff. My A/Ns are usually about 700 words of pointless ramblings. But, we Ramble On because that's what a Ramblin' Man does.

Good story, though.

Having never been to Ponyville, Octavia was surprised at just how small the town was. Since her tour with Vinyl, she had become accustomed to large cities like Manehattan and Fillydelphia, so much so that the one-horse-town filled her with a sense of emptiness.

A couple hundred ponies but only one horse... :rainbowlaugh:

You get a standing ovation from me. And a like. And a fave. And all the hoofies. And whatever awards you can get from story writing. You have done well and I wish for you to write a lot more.

I realised this early on, but was hoping it wouldn't be the case. This story has drama just for the sake of drama... le sigh.

Great story so far, but you might want to check on your spelling.

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