Covers
Covers
by Minimin22
Rainbow Dash flew at top speed towards the Library Treehouse. The day had just begun and she figured she was going to do what she did best in her free time: Slack off.
The few things she had to take care of was already taken care of, which included eating breakfast, giving Tank food, brushing her teeth and taking a post-breakfast nap.
Most of her days off consisted of one of three things: Practicing stunts, napping and... reading. Yes, READING! It had slowly moved up on her list of favourite things to do ever since the incident with the first book she ever read. At first she only wanted to read Daring Do, having only eyes for the suspense and action they contained.... but lately, she had started reading something else.
Romance.
Just thinking about it almost made her gag, but it was the next generation of Rainbow Dash's un-put-downable books! Twilight somehow conned her into reading one and she was hooked. Of course nopony could ever find out, she had an image to keep up after all. Only Twilight knew and she made sure to have her Pinkie Promise three times not to tell a soul.
Today was the day she was going to return the book she borrowed last week. Twilight had been very clear about due-dates as of late. You even had to pay several bits if you were late with returning a book! She also figured she might as well get a new read too while she was there. No sooner had she decided this when she arrived at the library. Deciding to not wreck the door this time she opened the light oak door and entered.
"Hey, Twilight! I'm here to return a book and I was thinking about renting another one of those--"
She stopped dead in her tracks at what she saw. Or rather, WHO she saw. Currently dusting the top of a bookshelf was the library's resident dragon Spike who, at hearing her voice, turned around and faced her.
"Oh, hey RD! What's up?" He said, flashing a wide smile.
Of course she shouldn't have been so surprised Spike would be here. He was her unicorn friend's number one assistant after all. It was, however, not good that he was here.
"Uh, hey Spike." Rainbow nervously started, "Is Twilight here?"
Spike skidded down the ladder he stood on and walked over to Rainbow.
"No, she's out grocery shopping." Spike said flatly, "I could help you though if it's about books."
"Uh.."
"But if it's Daring Do you're out of luck. Next one isn't coming for another three months." he quickly added.
"That's okay, I was actually looking for..." Rainbow started before stopping herself.
"Looking for what?" Spike curiously inquired.
She cursed herself for letting this much slip. This was the only person she really couldn't tell.
Spike was a pretty cool guy. They had started hanging out more and more as of late, doing a bunch of awesome stuff like pranking, talk about awesome stuff (Wonderbolts included), and even doing stunts! Well more like, she did them, and Spike watched from the sidelines.
Yeah, Spike was a pretty cool guy. No, scratch that. He was an awesomely cool guy! Almost as awesome as herself. Which is why she absolutely couldn't tell him. Not him.
Snapping back to reality, Spike had started waving his hand in front of her face in an attempt to bring her back.
"Wah? Huh? Looking for something? Who?" Rainbow blurted out.
Spike raised an eyebrow.
"You just said you were."
"I didn't!" She said stubbornly.
Spike started to realize there was no point in arguing with her. When she got like this, there was no reasoning to be had.
Yeah, when she got like this... He had learned much about Ponyville's fastest pegasus lately, what with all time they spent hanging out. It felt good to have a friend who was his friend too and not only because she was a part of Twilight's circle of friends.
However.
She had not opened up to him completely. Spike knew there was more to this famed Rainbow Dash than met the eye, and as long as she felt she had to put up a cool front he was never going to know the real her.
Which is why, he decided, he was going to break her. Or at least her façade.
"Alright Rainbow." Spike started, "But I think you said something about returning a book at least?"
For a split second Rainbow thought she saw him smirk.
"Uh... yeah!"
"Ok then, hand it over."
"Nope!" She finished.
Spike started to get frustrated with her evasiveness and just decided to peek at the book instead when she, in one full motion, draped the book under her wing, preventing anyone from seeing it.
"Oh, come ON Rainbow!" Spike said in disbelief, "Why?"
"Because reasons."
"Stop being such a baby!"
"You're the one with the title!"
Grumbling, Spike stomped over to Rainbow and hopped onto her back, surprising her a bit.
"Come on, let me see!" Spike continued while tugging at her wing.
Seeing as he had a hard time 'uncovering' the book Rainbow couldn't help but laugh at his attempts.
"Heh! I see someone didn't use the dumbbell I gave him on his birthday." She added between her snorts.
"I did use it! But these wings are insane!" He defended, getting more worn out with each passing second.
"Not the greatest compliment I've gotten, but thanks." Rainbow smirked.
With that said she felt the tugging stop. For a few moments Rainbow wondered what to do next until she felt a tickling sensation on the back of her neck.
Spike knew it was finally time for all the involuntary information brought upon him by Twilight to be put to use. Amongst all the things he knew, pegasus anatomy was one particularily useful piece of knowledge.
Rainbow started to blush as she felt his claw trail down her spine until it reached the base her wings. Unfortunately she was so enticed by the feeling that she failed to realize what was about to happen.
"Sure-kill move! 'W-pressure point of death!'" Spike yelled loudly, pressing down hard between her wings.
*poomf*
Rainbow had to bite her lip to prevent a tiny yelp from slipping out. The book fell ungracefully to the floor, displaying the title for all the world to see, and by 'world' she meant 'Spike.'
Spike on the other hand, had dismounted her and was now inspecting the cover. His eyes scanned the title and then looked straight at her.
"Huh... you like romance novels?"
The amount of embarrassment and dread Rainbow felt was crushing. Not only was her friendship with Spike coming to an end, but her wings also stood upright!
"No- uh.. I mean, I... it was... uh..." She started, trying desperately to pull her wings back.
"So what did you think?"
"...what?"
Needless to say, Rainbow Dash was beyond confused.
"Did you think the ending was any good? Personally I felt it was a bit rushed. I mean, Cinnamon Twirl just forgave White Chess and then they got together at the end. What's up with that?"
"Wait, what?" Rainbow sputtered.
"You didn't notice? It was basically an 'And then they--'" Spike began.
"No, no, wait a minute!" Rainbow interrupted, "You like romance too?"
Now it was Spike's turn to get confused.
"Uh, yeah? I thought I told you during that stunting session last week." he mumbled, slightly annoyed that she hadn't listened to him then.
"But... you're cool!" Rainbow continued, still not piecing it together.
"Uh, wow, thanks..."Spike said, feeling his cheeks heat up before continuing, "I mean, yeah?"
"And you read... romance novels..." Rainbow slowly stated.
"Yep. Why is that so surprising?"
Rainbow could barely believe what was happening. She had been discovered reading romance novels by possibly her best friend whom she had always thought to be against it. And she had been proven wrong. But she just had to check.
"So... you don't think I'm lame for liking that fluffy stuff?" She carefully worded her question.
Spike just stared at her dumbfounded.
"No! As long as you don't hide it and stand for it you'll be respected! And we both know respect equals awesome." Spike finished, quite satisfied with his pep-talk.
Rainbow didn't know what to say. She just stood there, mouth agape.
"Will... will you have me?" Rainbow heard herself say, immediately clasping her hooves on her mouth.
"...See! You did remember how the book ended!" Spike added jokingly, sparing her further embarrassment.
"Heh, yeah!" Rainbow smiled, relieved Spike dropped it.
"Hey, follow me! I got some novels I can recommend in my room."
After Spike had guided Rainbow up the stairs to his and Twilight's room he went straight over to his basket and dug out a stack of books from within. Quickly searching through the stack he found the one he was looking for and handed it to Rainbow Dash.
"Here. This one is made by the same author, although it's much better than the last one."
Rainbow took the book, her smile never wavering.
"Hey, what's with that smile Dashbow?" Spike mentally slapped himself for using such a ridiculous nickname.
"It's just... so cool that you're cool about me being cool about reading sappy stuff like this!" She exclaimed.
Spike sighed inwardly and decided to speak his mind.
"Look, Rainbow... I really like you, and it's cool hanging out with you, but I always feel that you have to put up a tough front for me. I know your image is being 'awesome' but I don't want you to feel like you have to live up to that image around me."
Rainbow Dash nodded slowly before responding.
"Alright. I was just scare-- I mean, unsure that you would be cool with it."
"You shouldn't worry about that. Ever I mean. A beautiful, talented and smart mare like you? Be proud of who you are, RD." Spike concluded, slightly regretting massaging her ego with those compliments.
Rainbow on the other hand had started to blush once again. She sure hoped it would remain an oddity for her to blush so much.
"You really mean that stuff?"
Spike put his index finger to his chin, seemingly in great thought.
"Hmm, well I guess saying you're smart would be inaccur-- OW!" Spike clutched his head where Rainbow had hit him with her hoof.
As they made their way back to the entrance Rainbow was downright giddy. The day had gone so much better than expected. She also felt that she could tell Spike anything now. Amongst those feelings she felt something else stir in her. She couldn't put her hoof on it, but it was a good feeling, it felt like she was walking on clouds. Only better.
When they reached the door she turned to Spike.
"Hey, thanks for everything."
"No probs RD." Spike said while putting his arm around her neck. "I got plenty more so you just come on back when you're finished."
"Yeah--" she began before she felt Spike leaning towards her ear.
"Here's for the lump on my head." He whispered.
No sooner had he said that before he had slid his claw between her wings, activated embarrassment mode and shoved her out the door.
Rainbow then found herself outside the library with her wings exposed and a few shades of redder on her face, all while she endured the stares from passerby ponies and the roaring laughter from inside the tree house.
"SPIIIKEEE!!!"
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I love Spike/dash
I love it! Thanks for writing this!
I don't know why, but when I saw the cover, I immediately started playing the theme song of Colors
And I always thought she was a lesbian.......
: Of coarse I'm not you moron of a MAD!!!!
awesome and I love your profile pic, ragna the bloodedge is awesome.
This was a really good story. Made me bust out laughing a couple times too. I'll read this again for sure.
Nice. As of many things I like that are complete, and I feel they can be continued..... sequel please! Develop relationship between Spike and Dash? Their relationship would probably be exactly as you portray it, goofball most of the time, with some serious ego massages for Dash. She probably would deny attraction, seeing it as uncool, but being Dash, be absolutely terrible at hiding it. Spike maybe oblivious at first? Eh, either continue or don't I support it.
"Did you think the ending was any good? Personally I felt it was a bit rushed. I mean, Cinnamon Twirl just forgave White Chess and then they got together at the end. What's up with that?"
Great Expectations, anyone?
That was nice great job!
Best reason ever.
Im gonna start to use that...
Nicely done.
Minor typo in that otherwise hilariously well-timed interruption: that should be "basically an", not "basically a".
It was cute man, is this a one-shot or are you going to continue it?
This was a good story of what could-be a good romance.
Everyone stayed in character and I like the fact that with living with Twilight and staying in a library that Spike is putting the information about ponies to good use.
Knowledge is power!
Learn all you can, than..... conquer all that you want!
3019977 3019264
Well, the story was intended to be a one-shot... but seeing how it got such good response I might continue it. Besides I also felt that
there's much more character development to be had, and I just couldn't do it in this short story or it'd come out way too fluffy and rushed.
There are still one main reason I don't want to continue.
I'm terrible at keeping my interest directed at something for too long. Updates will come irregularily, sometimes not for a full half year I dread.
So for now it'll have to be settled with that 'I might' continue it. I'll at least wait until the deadline of Vexy's competition, which is 31 august (I believe...)
3019821
Fixed!
3019193
Thanks john, and sorry to burst your bubble but it ain't Ragna, it's Cabensis from Arad Senki: Slap-Up Party. I agree that the two look similar, at least up close
---
Everyone, I thank you for all your comments! I actually felt sick to the stomach about uploading this one and couldn't sleep very well,
but now I couldn't be happier
I hope you'll enjoy future fics!
BOOK, COVER, YADA YADA!
I'm kidding, of course. This was a fun, little slice of cute, and I enjoyed it very much. It wasn't bad at all for a first try, and I hope you continue on with either this or future stories, so we can see how well you improve. There were a few issues with grammar and punctuation; the most glaring examples being:
and
But other than that, it was pretty good. You're certainly brave to take on a topic like this for your first story. And you did it well. I think you did great in capturing Dash's needless insecurities, like how she worries so much over the smallest things (especially if it makes her look uncool.) Good thing Spike is such a cool guy. Dash really didn't need to worry at all; I think if anyone in the series can be counted on to keep a secret, it should be Spike. And he really put those book smarts to work in this story, I'll tell you what. I don't know if he's just playing around with Dash as a friend, or if he genuinely feels something beyond friendship for her. But that embarrassing situation that he accidentally (or deliberately) put her in is definitely a steppingstone to another chapter in this saga (should you decide to continue),
Anyway, I've rambled long enough. Good job, and I hope you decide to keep writing and to keep improving!
3020675
Hey, thanks for the feedback!
I expected some form of criticism actually, what with english not being my native language (and the fact that I requested it.)
And since it's not, I tend to forget proper grammar sometimes, 'was' and 'were' being the examples you brought up.
I'm also a lot less technical when I write than I want to be, I more or less go by my gut when I decide where to punctuate.
It's a work in progress, and I'm sure it'll improve the more I write. Thanks for pointing it out though, now I know what to proof-read a little extra.
(I'll fix the errors when I have time, need to run soon)
I feel there is almost a secret meaning behind this story. I got outed as a brony to my group of friends and have been getting harassed endlessly for it, but I take it with humor and self depreciation. One friend said he would watch an episode or too because he was so curious why a big burly 31 year old father of soon to be 2 would watch my little ponies.
I guess I was hoping for what happened to rainbow dash, that all my friends would be like "cool! we're bronies too!"
See! The fact that this story got me thinking and analyzing shows you have talent. Keep it up!
Thumbs up
-
Don't know if oblivious or on purpose redirection; either way it was funny.
Death by embarrassment, love that ending. Even with the English as a second language barrier, it was a very good story keep writing. I have just a few suggestions for editing and future writing.
The Dashbow thing was still weird even after you explained it. I would put your first three paragraphs into one paragraph.
It had slowly moved up on her list of favourite things to do ever since the incident with the first book she ever read. It could be a little tighter/less wordy. It had slowly moved up on her list of favourite things to do ever since she finished the first Daring Do. Before it was a complicated try to write so that you aren't making it harder on yourself. Instead of next-generation, maybe use genre. A few of your sentences are a little redundant. You might want to break up the sentences because you seem to be overdoing the "Start of sentence, side note, end of sentence" a lot and it seems out of place to be used so often. Some sentences seem fragmented. Those are just some things to look at for starters. I see potential in your writing, but you tend to clutter your words a bit. I'd say cut down the extra words, flesh out some of the descriptions and add some actions they are doing while they are talking.
Well, I certainly enjoyed it overall, but could I recommend using the word 'cool' a bit less? Although, I could be having a moment of idiocy and not realized it was intentional, given it is 5am, but I don't think it was on purpose. Regardless...
Excellent read, old chap!
3020470
Well, if you don't think you can go for the long haul, creating a story with many chapters, you could just give us multiple one-shots from the same continuum, further expanding it at your own pace. However, regardless of what you do, it would be nice if you made a "Sequel" chapter to tell people who fav'd this piece that there's another one.
Cute little story, this. Adorable little Tsundere Dash is adorable.
You must write a sequel; I will be sorely disappointed if you do not. I understand you may need some motivation, so you have my follow. Do not upset me chap; I believe you may have potential. If you are worried about your grammar, I will be happy to proof read your chapters before you publish them. I am also quite suprised english is not your native language as your grammar and sentence construction is quite impressive. Good luck and carry on writing!
3021018
Thank you for taking you time to teach a novice like me
I guess one can get a litte blinded by the word count, which explains my redundant sentences. Many users just check the amount of words and moves on if it's not high enough (I'm guilty of that.)
I'll be sure to keep your criticism in mind next time I approach the keyboard.
3020888
It's pretty ironic that I'd write this story because I'm actually a closet brony. And a closet romantic comedy lover.
I used to fight harrassment but it was just so tiring that I started taking it with a dash of humor too.
In a perfect world maybe...
3021262
If you're talking about when Rainbow Dash thought it was cool that Spike was being cool about her thinking romance was cool, then I can assure you that it was entirely intentional
3021745 3023988
I'll keep your offer in mind though...
Ok, I'll be sure to put in a "sequel" chapter when I make one. And thanks Superflyingcookie, but I think I'll continue by myself for awhile, at least until I get my basic writing problems out of the way
3029001
Ok. Confirming that I am indeed an idiot at 5:00 in the morning. Gotcha!
Thanks for the clear-up.
I'm not here to flame, but I did check the next door on the right. It's truly a hellish place....well done good sir!
And I can also imagine a few things that Spike would do to Rainbow Dash for an overdue book....heh..heh...
Dear Minimin.
Well done good sir, quite a lovely gem to stumble upon at 12 in the morning indeed.
You know I have to say I never saw Spidash as a couple but I just might have to reconsider now.
Yous Truly Thecakedevil.
>"...what?"
Should just be "What?" The ellipsis is unnecessary and this is the start of a sentence so the 'what' has to be capitalized.
3072609
Duly noted.
I think I wanted Dash to be a bit dazed here but I guess it doesn't work to write this way?
Gotta say, this is better constructed than most Spike stories I've read. I'm glad you are starting a sequel, I'll keep on reading.
This is quite good. It mostly avoids the blatantly bad writing any stories with Spike and Rainbow Dash often has and the dialogue mostly flows. The interactions are also quite good, particularly Spike's sneaky and kinda unfair use of Pegasus weaknesses. And shoving Dash into the street like that was hilarious.
It does go a little quickly and the peptalks about being true to yourself seem a little much and a little too perfect if you ask me and the writing isn't perfectly polished. At some points I think your telling instead of showing and some of the dialogue, mostly the pep talks are a little clumsy, but it's a good first attempt.
Also, you do fall into one fanfic pitfall and that is the over-focus on Spike. I know this is a setup for a pairing, seems that way anyway, but it just become a little much with Spike suddenly sounding like he's Rainbow's really awesomest best friend. It's just too much, even when the focus is on those two. It reads like Rainbow's completely forgotten her other friends. I know that's not you were going for, but it just sounds, to me anyway, like he is now unchallenged best friend and the others are almost forgotten in comparison. Tone it down a little and just keep it to the level of Rainbow having discovered that Spike's a really cool guy.
And then, because it's so short, there is of course the issue of you just jumping right to the point where they are already kinda close, which I personally think is a little lazy. But such is the nature of oneshots that pair people that don't interact much in canon, unless they are one of the exceedingly rare perfect ones.
A proofread and a dedicated read-through by someone else would probably elevate this to very good, but at the moment, I'll still stick to well done.
Now, I'll look at the sequel and see if you've improved. Happy writing.
Out of all the fics entered in the competition, this one probably had the highest writing quality. It has the smoothest pacing, the most original plotline and the most humor.
I love this general concept: the idea that Rainbow Dash might move onto romance novels. It just feels so natural and so amusing that I just can't help but fall for it every time. It's only an extension of that, then, that Twilight or Spike might join her in her interests in the genre, and it makes a really effective base for a TwiDash / SpikeDash shipfic. You picked a very good choice, my friend.
However, I feel that it would have made more sense for the revelation that Rainbow Dash liked Romance to be towards the end of the fic, when Spike discovers it for himself. I feel that the story would've flowed more naturally that way, and it would be more show as opposed to tell (Which I force down every author's throat ever).
Personally, I feel as if you're an author who has a huge amount of potential, and trying to be subtle about your romance is no bad thing. The main issue most authors who write romance run into is that they try and be far too blunt with it. They struggle to understand that a relationship is built upon a friendship, and a friendship is built upon mutual interests.
If you feel that romance is still a path you want to venture down (or anything to do with Spike and Rainbow Dash), then hit me up, and I'll be happy to help you make it work.
Son I am disappointJK JKVery cute. I was suspecting that Dashie was having some kind of wing-delirium but I guess it's just my perverted fantasy, I hate being like that, I want an innocent mind, darn it!
Next...write a fanfic where Spike is getting busted wearing ZE STASH
I LOVE USING THESE EMOTICONS!
*awkward cough* Well done. Develop. DEVELOP TIL YOU FLIP FLOP! (what.)
Nice very nice i enjoyed this one
SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL! please?
4040375
Way ahead of you m8!
Although it has sort of been neglected for half a year...
4041462 thx this was a good read so on my tank scale you get the biggest and best german tank: a Tiger mark[king tiger]
5/5
awsome story
4161935
(for the watch as well!)
Thank you
Loved it. Now to read the sequel, well what's done anyway.
Awwwwww more
And the like is earned for the quick fluffiness combined with massive hinting potentials. Now for the sequel.
Wow...this is now in the feature box...3 years after it was published.
Good show!
6799726 Holy shit.
It actually is. Achievement GET.
)
(Also here comes the downvotes
6800144 SpikeDash is weirdly popular on this site...barely any hate for it.
Poomph!
Who could even think of down voting this adorable fluff!