Why did he have to die WHYYYYYY But great story i loved it

i'm sad of this story, but i'm happy he in peace

6619799 no. It isn't

6777875 I'm a lover of the original Teen Titans, but Teen Titans Go is enjoyable as well since I don't compare the two.

6778822 yea if you overlook the ridiculous amount of character flaws and plot holes that the show has

6778822 like how all of them are just completely insufferable a-holes all the time and try to excuse that behavior by the whole 'we're heroes and they're villains so we can do whatever we want to them' excuse

6779317 The entire show is based on being just a comedy. That's all it's meant to be. The creators stated this before the first airing of the first episode. It has no actual correlation to any of the actual Teen Titans.

6778822 the show would've been allot better if they had stuck with the original concept of crim fighting teens that are serious about their job but still have a healthy amount of fun along the way instead of the whole concept of them being heroes being a huge joke for the whole series except for a couple of episodes which even them the absurdity of it still overwhelms the attempted seriousness of the episode

6779350 I'm just saying good concept bad execution

6779350 it could've been done much better but it's almost like they just stapled one bad joke after another and filled the rest in with them just being dicks to everyone they see

6779350
Hey duelist, are you gonna make a sequel or at least a spin off of this?

6782941 No, I actually plan on rewriting this at some point in the future. This will remain up for however long it takes me to get started on that rewrite. Once I speak to the mods, hopefully I'll be able to take it down and repost it as something better.

AHHH,i literally had like one tear in both eyes and was holding on til writing dis.DAMMM UUU JESSIE ISEHNBORG...dont know if thats how his name is spelled,Thats also a Game Grumps reference .Good to see i can still cry i guess.Its been awhile,and it kinda feels good.
Dark emo shat:I literally can never really cry anymore without something like this or anime,which i dont what much of anymore due to not knowing any good,finished anime.Take that back,Im just lazy and indifferent abot stuff.Time to go watch THE saddest anime ever again.

6924392 The other author wrote theirs first, and if anything, this first chapter is something I want to do a rewrite for.

This army squad of your's sounds a bit like the American scout snipers its a sniper group consisting of only 300/400 active members they are able to snipe enemy's from a mile away and have had extremely advanced stealth, close combat and physical training.

Soooo this story
Do I belong is a cliche and rushed story
Now hear me out there are parts that I like but its being overshadowed by two major issues
The main character James Redfield and the pace
James is an unlikeble character whos "darker" side is the being called Shadow wich just got tossed in to make James more edgy apparently.
He adapts way to quickly to being tossed in a new world, everyone instantly falls in love with him and theres no character building with him.
He was in a special squad wich is really irrelevant since it just a mentioned when he is depressed for no reason.

In my opinon it a not a half-assed story but a half-assed character with no real flaws that ruins this story for me.

I feel like this story needs a sequel where James comes back but with his group and kick some more ass from season 5 onwards and James needs a robot arm

7248888 I don't think the sex scenes are that important, rather they're one of my favorite types of scenes as they seem to be one of those types of writing everyone does in their own way because of their own experience. Though now that I think about it my comment was fairly counter productive

Plot 8/ 10, great idea
Grammar and sentence structure 2/10
Please look for an editor

7506531 Yeah, this story is pretty much dead. That's why it's completed with a final chapter that just explains the rest of the story. I had better stories to work on, and probably will never touch this one again. Only leaving this as a sign of where I started to how I improved in my later stories.

7635928 well then who forced you here
The BFFs(brony freedom fighters) or the ABs (anti bronies)

8134637 I think it might be. I honestly don't remember because this isn't one of my best works.

8139968 I want to point out that that's... really not true at all. I mean, if it's consensual, no one's "at fault" and lack of resistance doesn't imply consent. Though it sounds like he just doesn't care one way or the other which is... odd. I can't know for certain without reading the scene, and from the sounds of things, I'm not sure I want to.

Shame, I've been looking for a fic with this sort of concept... of a disillusioned soldier dealing with a new life in Equestria.

I'm pushing myself through this story since I have nothing else to read, but this is so cringy.

Grammar: 3/10
Base plot idea: 9/10 (this could have been pretty great, just add a few thousand kilos of character development and presto!)
Speed: 0/10 (WAY too fast)
Character development: 3/10 (too many copy and paste characters, some characters act in ways that don't make sense to them)
The amount of dialog: 2/10 (Let the people speak! No one would just walk right on by, past his marefriends and to his room...)

So, in conclusion, this story could have been one great story if the mc was not a cardboard cutout and the girls weren't copies of each other. Also, this story lacks realism and doesn't flow from one point to the other without it being choppy.

8330585
This story is a piece of shit, there's no doubt about that. I just don't get rid of it because of the improvements I made from this to my later stuff.

8330803
Can you put the tragic tag on this story? This is a tragedy since James does die in the end.

8339758
I cannot because I've already used the maximum amount of tags.

Does this story have femdom in it?

8498702
I would say no, but I honestly don't remember.

9622865
It's why I don't recommend it to people unless you want to play a drinking game.

great story can't say am a fan of the ending but am sure the writer had a reason great story just not a fan of the ending

10106647
How am I wrong with my first point ? What’s your argument ?

10106682
Because everyone/everybody refers to mainly people (humans) overall while everypony is more based on the fact that the residential populace is pony based. This is also before more sapient creatures were known in the show besides ponies. And it's also a more proper writing choice than using human based wording because you're then ignoring elements from the show.

10106751
I understand that everyone and every body could be categorize as exclusive to humans, yet everybody refers to a person, even do person can be describe as another way of saying human it also means, and I quote “a living, self-conscious being, as distinct from an animal or a thing”. Your other point of other species not being known doesn’t make sense because Spike is living with them.
Finally to address your statement of “ignoring the elements of the show”, what do you mean ? I’m not saying that it’s wrong that the ponies use them, I mean it’s non sensical that the human would use them because he has a better word that includes everyone.
:v

10106833
This point covers both of your last two things you said; concerning Spike living with them and the elements of the show. Spike had been living with them, but in the beginning everypony was still used, even with Spike's presence. This also includes when Zecora had shown up and more sapient creatures as the seasons went on. So it was more of following a bit of that growing noun usage because in the last couple of seasons is when everypony kind of started being used in certain situations when more other creatures began being part of the series itself.

11037393
Fair enough. The two are often mixed up so thank you for correcting me. ^^

11040822
Like I said, I don’t think that its bad, only that they could have gotten a bit more polishing before being uploaded, and as its one of your first works, I can give it a bit of leeway, and I will still read it till the end. And I share your opinion to not change the way these chapters are written, as that is something I that I think that more people should do, as its a good way to see how one got better over time.

The one I that currently have uploaded had each of its chapters made in about 1 day, uploading them without much editing, which is a bright contrast from the story that I’m currently writing, which only has one chapter so far, but it already has 4k more words than the total world count of my first, with more or less 3 days of work sunk into it, as each time I open it I find something that I want to change or expand and, by the time I to publish it, it should have more or less 100k words ( 10k per chapter ). After that, I plan to remake my first story from scratch, but still keeping its original chapters as a reminder from where I started.

PS: I hope that this is written in an understandable way, English is not my native language, although I consider myself to be above the average.