A soldier has arrived in Equestria after being betrayed by his own military. He harbors much hatred after knowing his own comrades and friends have betrayed him. He begins to slowly let go of his hatred as he spends time with the peaceful ponies.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I have to say that I did not see that cumming. I like ware this story is going, so Keep up the good Job you are doing. I do hope to see more of this story.
Dragonfox
3777473 Say do you think you could edit the titles of the continuous chapters(Love is Magical, Week of Watching, The Heat, Dinner Date) by putting the names of the mare/s that the chapter focuses on in brackets. Like for example
Love is Magical(Pinkie Pie)
Week of Watching(Fluttershy/Rarity)
The Heat(Lyra/Octavia)
Just so its easier to know which chapter has which mare.
3845725
Yeah I could. I have been feeling somewhat that I should do something like that.
3845735 when is the next chapter coming out, because this fic is awesome!
3847378
Should have one here soon since I believe I know what I want to do next.
3847858 hello again Duelist!Great chapter!hope ya can keep it up! :D
I know you read my comment since its gone. I am trying to help you with this story and where it's going. The comments are here for a reason, to express enjoyment of the story, and to offer criticism to the authors. If you cant take criticism with a grain of salt, then there is no point even looking in the comments for ideas or thoughts for improvement. My original comment stated something along the lines of I read the story and I did enjoy it a little but the overall killer for me was poor sentence structure, and bad grammar. Both of which I can overlook to an extent. But not here. It's a great story, just poorly executed. Like I said, get a pre-reader and/or editor, and if you already have one, get another. I'm not trying to be a dick, even though I am coming across like one, but like I said find an editor. There are a lot on the site that will often do it for free. I would offer to help but I have a full time job as well as school, and a girlfriend.
And just so you know, I never thumb down a story. I may not like it, but I recognize that when someone writes they are putting a lot of their time into it, and enjoy writing it. Take what I said and think it over. If you want to ask me something or even get some tips in writing hit me up with a PM
This story has horrible sentence structuring and even worse grammar.
3929755 don't cair still good story