• Member Since 6th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Killbles


Damn, I wish I could read.

T
Source

Soarin bit his lip in annoyance. "That's blackmail."
Surprise smiled innocently. "Oh is it? I didn't realise!"

An opening of an art exhibition featuring the Wonderbolts premieres in Canterlot, drawing crowds of enthusiastic upper-crust ponies along with two much less enthusiastic Wonderbolts; Soarin and Surprise. Readying themselves in for a long and boring night of photos, autographs and hanger-oners, the unexpected arrival of a guest opens a door to Soarin's past; a door Surprise is all too happy to pry open a little further...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 40 )

The story is really good!
Along with the MS paint skills.

Well... that was interesting. I think.

No, I didn't get the joke, and what source?

I don't blackmail people… D: But really good story. I like!

I dont really like when people put wonderbolts in dash's classes, but u pulled it off in a way :]

Very nice, but daaaaamn if Dash isn't one difficult mare.

Wait, there was a holocaust in Equestria?:rainbowderp:

2997457
I don't know, was there?

Let's say there was, just for fun.

2994929
Sure you don't.

2994790
I told you not to check the source! Why don't people ever listen to me? What if I'd linked you Rick Astley or something?

2994798
The cover art has a 'source' button on it. Whatever you do, don't click it.

Learn some French and come back with a mind as awful as mine and you might get it.

That... was beutiful....

Sequel! Sequel!

2998291
In the dark future of the 21st millennium there are only sequels.

I am writing stuff for so many other things the possibility of a sequel didn't even cross my mind. Let's make a list shall we?
1 New chapter for Tales of Angrish
2: In progress one shot with Lyra and Noteworthy
3: New chapter for Friends have Issues
4: New chapter for Derpy 262
5: Preliminary writing for a story involving Wonderbolts
6: Preliminary writing for story/one shot with Big Mac and Fleetfoot.

Where does a sequel fit in there? I'm not quite that insane.

How about that joke at the end.. burrito..huh? huh? Phallus? I'll be quiet now.

It was a cute story, great dialogue. etc. :twilightsmile:

2999523
Took me a moment to get that one.

I'm going to be completely honest, that was totally not what I had in mind when I wrote that. Now, of course, I can't help not thinking of it like that,

This is further proof that my subconscious is beyond redeeming and deep down I'm more akin to a short Austrian with facial hair issues.

I liked it :rainbowwild:

Short and very sweet.

Super cute, it made me cry a little:heart:

2999551 If anyone's mind is eternally trapped in the gutter, it's mine. Sorry for breaking your brain. :rainbowwild:

Great story! :pinkiehappy:
I need a sequel, please :scootangel:

And... um... Can I please correct a few mistakes? :twilightblush:
It's a bad habit of mine...

3002576
Please, feel free.

It's a good habit, not a bad one. Provided the person you're pointing it out to can take criticism.

3002656
Right-o!

"Soarin, there is something I should tell you." Rainbow said. I have a child, he's yours."

Missing a quotation mark there.

"Because he's a gullible fool." Rainbow said with smirked. "I want to steal Soarin for awhile, do don;t mind do you Surprise?"

1. This sentence confuses me....
2. 'don;t'. Just a typo, it's 'don't'

"Turns out she fractured a rib, it wasquite painful to fly with. No unicorns up in Cloudsdale to give me a quick fix as you might imagine."

*was quite

Wingpony covers the leadpony. Surprise should've seen you." Soarin said quickly.

Missing a quotation mark.

"Yeah he is." He muttered crossly, turning his head towards soarin bunk. "Good luck getting him out

*Soarin's bunk.

I remember seeing a few more, but I'll do that in the morning, or when I wake up....
It's 3:30 am here :facehoof:

Oh and, try and use commas. Commas are your best friends.

Another SoarDash? Sure. I'll read this on the weekend, if you don't mind.

Soarin you silly! ya reeeeeally think she lost fare and square tehe.
anyways another superb SoarinDash! gave me diabetes thats for sure.......
should be workin on my SXRD but to busy readin yours...lol

3002726
Thanks, I'll get around to fixing them at some point.

Am, I, using, enough, commas, now?

This is such a good soarindash fic, sah awesome :pinkiehappy: great writting! :rainbowdetermined2:

I clicked the Picture Source.... I regret nothing.

Uhh... Do you mind if I too point out a few errors?

Infinite Mischief

awesome quote, this isn't making it easy to vote for the Straight Shipping contest...

3049228

Richu Yue wrote:
And... um... Can I please correct a few mistakes?

Please, feel free.

Go nuts.

You even think about sticking anything in me and I'll chop it off

Well fuck I guess i am a woman now.

Awsome story I :heart: it:pinkiehappy:

Very good story! Got me through the entirety of my history class, and it was well worth drowning out the lecture! There were a few mistakes and grammar hiccups here and there, but it's all good. Great read, man!

"I can be brilliant when I want to be." Surprise said casually. "I just choose to not be."

Oh Surprise, I think you just created what could be the best quote ever.
No, but I'm serious; whenever someone calls be stupid, I shall say this!

IT'S SPELLED TORTOISE!

What picture source?

Dash sure used to be violent.

Surprise knitted her brows together. "You told me? I just keep getting these weird flashbacks."

:pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh:

Ouch! That's some bad timing. :fluttershyouch:

"Varied hobbies and interest I see. Somepony could make a TV series out of her life."

Oh you.:trollestia:

"Since when do I have a boyfriend?"

:rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

"Surprise, shut up. Consider it a standing order."

:rainbowlaugh:

"Well... I cover you in a bottle of maple syrup and then my pet turtle licks it off. You then have to go a date with me."

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

She took a step closer. "Good, I would've felt really stupid for kissing you if you didn't."

:rainbowkiss::yay::pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

This was nice. Thanks.:twilightsmile:

The issues I notice:

The chance to acquit oneself with a princess being too good for any noble to ignore.

acquit? I think you meant acquaint.

“Sp how’d you meet this mare anyway?

Sp -> So

which ran down the back of neck

which ran down the back of her neck

"What he'd do?"

"What'd he'd do?"

I'll remember that next comment time I have to roster latrine duty.

I'll remember that next comment next time I have to roster latrine duty.

it wasquite painful to fly with

it was quite painful to fly with

"If I can face a dragon without wetting my flight suit I'm sure I can stand you to a single mare, even one as formidable as her."

Stand you -> stand up
I think.

the holocaust

In Equestria? This is really straining my suspense of disbelief.

"Sp now what?"

Sp -> So

well, as long I've been on the team."

well, as long as I've been on the team."

Personally I like to keep it a minimum.

Personally I like to keep it to a minimum.

"D- did she say she liked back?

"D- did she say she liked you back?

She'd more playful than usual over the last few weeks.

She'd been more playful than usual over the last few weeks.

"How are you going with your classes?" Soarin asked casually.

"How are you doing with your classes?" Soarin asked casually.
"How is it going with your classes?" Soarin asked casually.
Pick one.

slipped out when she was in the bathroom. or something.”

Comma after bathroom instead of a period.

Only a few students other were around,

Only a few other students other were around,

a stark constant to their usual chatty behaviour.

constant -> contrast

Soarin grunted as he noticed the showers for the stallion was closed and locked.

Soarin grunted as he noticed the showers for the stallions was closed and locked.

just come over to the mare's one."

just come over to the mares's one."

"But that's the mare's showers." Soarin complained.

"But that's the mares's showers." Soarin complained.

"Did you have to take the one next to me?" Soarin asked, averting his eyes. She snickered quietly.
"Embarrassed?"

"Did you have to take the one next to me?" Soarin asked, averting his eyes.
She snickered quietly. "Embarrassed?"

Surprise laughed despite the look of distraught on her face.

Surprise laughed despite the distraught look of distraught on her face.

angrish

Why is she angry?

Well, at least when she wasn't trying to turn me into a floor decoration."

Well, at least not when she wasn't trying to turn me into a floor decoration."

‘You’ll see’ ended up being Lower Cloudsdale of all things.

Weren't the exhibition supposed to be in Canterlot? This seems like a rather long flight.

I'll go a date with you."

I'll go on a date with you."

You then have to go a date with me."

You then have to go on a date with me."

Rainbow Dash made an amused sound in deep in her chest

Rainbow Dash made an amused sound in deep in her chest

2998323
How's a sequel look these days?:twilightsmile:

You write the best Soarin x dash stories! :rainbowlaugh:

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