• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

the flying spaghetti monster

The antilife equation.


War is terrifying. When you've been at it for over ten million years, you tend to start to run out of resources. You also start to run out of ideas, and this can be particularly vexing if your people face annihilation if defeated. The warring factions of the Transformers, the Autobots and Decepticons, are locked in such a titanic death struggle.

The Decepticons rebuild one of their best spies into the likeness of a pony and send him to Equestria, a nation found on a planet during a top secret investigation. In an effort to study magic and quantify it, they hope to establish a valuable new energy source. However, their studies of the pony culture, though detailed, are barely comprehensive enough for their agent to fit in. Worse still, the spy must wrestle with the sensations of his never-before-used organic body, including the frequent and puzzling emotions that occur whenever ponies interact with him.

Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 418 )

Very good writing, my friend. Keep up the good work.

it's a good read so far

this needs to be featured :moustache:

I loveing the story so far, I hope Cloudchaser or Flitter have a big role in this story.

Great story so far, and it is extremely immersive. Great writing and style, and next to no grammatical mistakes. Good job have a green thumb and a fav.

(Could you touch me with your noodly appendage as a reward?)

cant get enough you earned a fave

I'm guessing this takes place during the movie, right?


That's correct. It takes place just before the attack on Autobot City.


That's what it sounded like. Just wanted to make sure.

Why is this story not yet in the Featured part of this site?:trixieshiftright:

Oh, and another thing:


This chapter makes me very happy, if only because of the direct relationship between Magic and Existing tech, and that magic is not immune to science.


Forty Bits says Ravage gets 'overtaken' or 'taken in' by the Magic of Friendship... :twilightsmile:


this update made my night. The Twilight transformation was plain genius. Here's a mustache :moustache:

Your pun. It hurts me.

Otherwise, great chapter.

twilight's 'wings optional' is a truly ingenious idea, fits season 3's ending while retaining twilight's state in ponyville.

I'm liking this story. You seem to know your Transformers lore... but I saw a Continuity error. The Combaticons were sent to Earth along with the Stunticons to attack the Ark and prevent Omega Supreme, the Aerialbots, and the Protectobots from aiding in the battle at Autobot City, thus leaving Devastator (mostly) unopposed.
I like Transformers a lot. Don't mean to offend you.


I grew up with The Transformers, so yeah it's really fun to do a crossover with the ponies, my new love. I saw the generation 1 episodes, including the movie. I pretty much detested most of the iterations that came out after the Gen 1 episodes until the Beast Wars show - which was godly! Beast Machines, the series that followed up from BW, started out really cool, but then turned out disappointing. Except for the Marvel Comics (about 80 in the original installation), I avoided other iterations as all tried to rewrite the Transformers saga. However, I've recently been encouraged to watch Transformers Prime, so I'll eventually get around to it. Also, I disregard anything done by Michael Bay.

Long story short, everything about the Transformers Gen 1 episodes happens up until they are about to attack Autobot City.

We could discuss this further if you like, but I suggest we do so in PM. Glad you like the story. :twilightsmile:

2995282 Primus damn it, this site infuriates me! The site didn't let me know you replied!

And I'd live to speak to you more about Transformers, but I forgot how to P.M. anyone...:twilightsheepish:

Listenin' to Till All Are One while reading.
As Dashie would say, "SO AWESOME!!!":rainbowkiss:

In spite of having just walked by several of them without incident, Ravage hated unicorns and their cowardly magic.

What? You kidding here? He's a Decepticon. He's an Infiltrator. He's an ASSASSIN. He'd love the shit out of their magic. If Ravage was pissed about it, it's because he can't do it himself.

Rarity decided to support the initiative. “I concur. If such a handsome, polite, and probably educated stallion is actually available, then no time should be wasted. Besides, our herd could use a stallion.”

... Sooo... you're implying that the six Elements of Harmony are in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with one another? Okay. Why not. That's usually not quite so matter-of-fact but I guess your universe has more horsie traits than most fics.

2967721 ... Where'd you even get that? Some kind of recent novelization of Transformers the movie? It sure-hell wasn't in the film. Most people just say "ooooo, ignore the man behind the curtain" when it comes to those characters since the real reason they weren't there is because production schedules make things wacky.

Alrighty so I'm most of the way through chapter 2. This is interesting. The story itself is fairly solid, and I'm certainly going to keep reading. That said, I think you could use another editing pass. There are some typos and grammar weirdnesses interspersed throughout. Also you tense shift a lot, between past tense and present tense. Little bit distracting. Those are just editing nitpicks though.

If I were to call out a problem with the story it's that... Hrm, how to put this... A lot of times you go into overly descriptive paragraphs. You go on and on about things that aren't really relevant to the scene at hand, and describe a lot of things in really clinical detail. It doesn't flow like prose in those instances, but instead reads like a formal debriefing narrative. It's kinda jarring, especially since it isn't constant. It doesn't kill the story, but you might wanna go back over and check it for overall tone. There was way, way too much detail about Ravage's initial acclimation to his body for instance, with odd asides to aspects of Decepticon and Cybertronian physiology that... while that information was necessary, it was presented in a really odd fashion. Takes you out of the story.

Ravage gave a look as if he had just stared into an infinite well. There was so much to know about these silly little roots! “Oil? Foil?”

Seriously, Ravage. Go to the Library. Look at a dictionary. Download all of it. :ajbemused:

Reminding me of Aximili from Animorphs.

Oookay, given their reactions to the party the Elements are NOT in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with each other. Of course... that's all a herd IS in that context, a sexual/social grouping. What context are they using "herd" in if they're not all sleeping together? It's the most logical thing I can come up with seeing as they seem to be collaborating to get themselves a dude.

3058671 How the balls do I keep missing random comics? That one came out in 2006? I should've gotten it in my box...


Wow, I never saw that. I only ever saw the movie. Bruticus and Menasaur must be tough to be able to take on Superion, Defensor, and Omega Supreme.

And now, back to ponies. ^^

3058714 I stopped trying to keep up with the various comic book continuities years ago... There is just far too many!


Nearly finished chapter 6. I might have it done for Wednesday, but if not then the following Wednesday.

Yes, I like to stay a chapter ahead in case I need to change any details. Thank you for waiting; I hope you will like the upcoming chapter. :eeyup:

ill just read read it till then also who did the cover art?


I'm working on it. I'm just consistently denied time to do so. It is better to wait than to release prematurely. :twilightblush:

Love your name and profile pic. Isn't that from Futurama?

... and Ravage goes deeper down the rabbit hole. It's like James Cameron's "Avatar" (bleh!) but far better written, with Ravage and FiM. Ravage is our "Jake Sully."

Hey, this is happening during the Movie, isn't it?

This is totally going on while Unicron is ripping the shit out of Cybertron. That's why he can't raise anyone? I'm right aren't I?

That explained the gargantuan planetary magnetic field. “Two powerful sources of gravity must be spinning the planet’s core like a top!” he exaggerated.

Wait, what? The gravity of other objects doesn't have any more effect on the core of a planet than it does on the rest of the planet's mass. Planet cores spin rapidly for the same reason the planet itself spins: Leftover angular momentum from planetary formation. The dust cloud was spinning, each object was spinning, and thus they continue spinning until they bleed off the momentum due to the tidal forces exerted by the sun (which in our case will eventually leave the Earth in tidal lock with the sun, rotating once per year). The core spins at a different rate from the rest of the planet because it's a huge, superheated solid chunk of iron surrounded by liquid iron.

3134374 Uh, no.

Flying Spaghetti Monster

It's a counter argument to the notion of teaching intelligent design in schools. A satirical argument that posits if Judeo-Christian mythology needs to be taught, then the doctrine of the Flying Spaghetti Monster must also be taught. It was a protest.

Please let him touch me with his noodley appendage!!!

Ravage did a double-take (his first one!), “I’m being examined?”

“Of course,” the pony educator primly replied. “How else are you going to commit my teachings to memory?”

Ravage’s brow furrowed in disbelief.

“Ravage, you may think you’re the most capable of ponies, but don’t fool yourself. You need to learn to write properly, and you need to take notes. Pretending like you can memorize everything without effort will lead to disappointment.” Twilight quickly wrote down a summary of what was said so far. “I’ll help you, but now you not only need to learn magic, you need to learn to write properly as well. That way I can focus on teaching.”

‘Oh, great.’

“You can handle it, Ravage. I have faith in you,” Twilight said, being supportive. “Let’s continue, shall we? First, I’ll make a list of the component symbols used in both the third and fourth thaumic fields.”

"I have an eidetic memory."

Conversation over.

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