Nyxian
Joined 12th Aug, 2012 ·
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Ohemgee you're alive.
Notch be praised
a.tgcdn.net/images/products/zoom/e847_minecraft_pickaxe.jpg
Welcome back to the land of the not as dead, friend.
That was my reason for posting, became a fan of the dusk story and wanted to see more of your writing. Saw you posted and squealed away my masculinity like a fangirl. I see that its based off of your xenophilia readings.
*deep breath*
Once more unto the breach.
Oh, this was lovely! I really love social systems and interactions world building, especially courtship ones like what Xenophilia introduces.
If only the main character wasn't human...*sigh*
As for the clop, eh, it's pretty obvious that you either don't like writing it or like to skirt away from those details. It was very vague, but on the plus side that entire scene was very sensual and romantic, which I think fit the tone of this fic very well.
2814915 Generally speaking, I don't have a problem with sex in most fiction, but cartoony ponies are a line I had a really hard time crossing. I thought about trying to take some of the awkward out, but I decided to leave it in since the narrative was coming from a nervous virgin who was going through all the awkwardness that comes with fist time sex...it also worked because I had a really hard time writing it.
That said, Lyra was a metric ton of fun, and I had a blast characterizing her as an ethical slut.
And I agree with you on Xenophilia. Great characters, excellent worldbuilding...but I just don't like human/pony stuff.
With a name like Bunsen Beaker I half expected him to resemble these two:
You know, when you Plugged this in your other story's AN you might have mentioned it was canon. I was rather irate when this came up over there without me having read it, plus there was no real signs of the gender differentials prior to that so I had to re-evaluate everything I had read up till then!
3982389 Adding this into the cannon of Oh No, Not Another Dusk Shine Story (which, I just realized, I will never be able to abbreviate because it looks like 'oh nads') was a spur of the moment thing I did just to add a bit of length to a scene I thought would end up too short to justify including in the story, and while the gender difference isn't nearly as big a theme in Oh No, Not Another Dusk Shine Story.
Thank you for the comment though.
.
That is an incomplete thought.
.
.
"And while" what?
3983169 Ah dammit. I know how to speak english, I swear I do. That's what three hours of algebra homework will do to you. Sorry. What I was trying to get across was that the gender difference isn't as big a deal in Oh No Not Another Dusk Shine Story.
It might come into play later on or it might not depending on how I decide to write things. Sure it'll be commented on from time to time but the earliest I could see it actually playing even a semi-important part of the story is in the Grand Galloping Gala.
3983243
Oh yeah, of course. Without a romance angle it wouldn't be a primary factor, but it would be a critical undercurrent in any interaction or event involving more than one gender. The tone changes for everything involving Dusk. As a patriarchal society even after 'Women's Rights' there is still a huge under current of difference in our inter-sex encounters. Men instinctively react differently to a woman than they would to a man in the same situation. Dusk's friends will react to him the way I and my friend will react to a female friend... which is real different.
It's only an issue because we didn't know. It is a simple adjustment to make before we internalize the characters and their interpersonal relationships.
I mean damn, from our patriarchal perspective Dusk's relationship with Spike would be Mother/Daughter not Father/Son.
I was thinking Dusk was rather whiny, but nope, he is the 'weaker sex'. In fact his behavior is more humorous in light of this matriarchal difference.
From:
I take it you meant to type this?
3983807 When I first started Oh No, Not Another Dusk Shine Story (which had a different title of course), the very first iteration of Dusk Shine was just a much crankier, foul mouthed Twilight. The original premise I was going for was to have a protagonist that wasn't as much Sweetness and Light as Twilight is, and see where things went from there.
I decided to do the gender flip when I read Letters From a Disgruntled Friendship Student and realized that the premise had already been done and I'd never be able to do it as well as that story did.
3983969 Hey, that sort of thing is half expected from the whatever-triarchal gender... That was a part of the success of Letters, we didn't expect it from a mare. However since you added the rule63 to Dusk it would be expected and boring for him to act that way. By having Xeno's gender roles you bring back the interest of "non-tradition behavior" and add in the obvious possibilities and interest of having one Element Bearer be a different gender than the rest.
TL:DR-> It's a good thing for the story and the potential for future chapters, it's just annoying finding out in the middle.
Good story, nice to see Bon Bon get some love that doesn't paint her as a angry or grumpy mare or Lyra as human chasing nutjob.
5376640 Those characterizations kinda bug me too (they've gotten old), but I wasn't specifically trying to make something entirely new. Lyra and Bon Bon's characterizations in this story are based strongly off the way they appear in An Escort's Journal (good story, but explicit clop, you've been warned). I like Lyra as a spastic, hyperactive, slightly flaky musician type and Bon Bon as a down-to-earth, snarky foil to her.
I'd love to see a sequel to this.
6726502 I might come back to this, but other things have priority right now...damn you real life...
6726562 Fully sympathize.
I really like this excellent story absolutely love it
8105388 Thank you!