The Return of Mare Do Well

by L_Wolf

Night Patrol - Bank

Chapter 2

Starbloom woke up a few hours later on the couch under a blanket looking around as she sat up yawning softly rubbing her eyes with a hoof. She could hear music coming from Sweetie Belle's room though it was kept low she could just make out the song as one that Sweetie Belle had been working on before she went on tour.

She used her magic to fold the blanket up and put it on the couch before getting up and stretching herself out looking at the time. It was nearly Eight at night, she wanted to be on the streets by nine so had about an hour to get some dinner.

She headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge looking around sighing to herself and grumbled looking at the selection, old veggie pizza, some kind of noodle stuff that was turning green and something in a bowl she swore just growled at her. She closed the door and shook her head rubbing her forehead lightly. "Guess Sweetie hasn't had a chance to go shopping yet..." She said to herself looking around the kitchen spotting some apples on the counter that looked fresh and took one chewing on it.

She didn't want to bother Sweetie Belle when she was working so she made her way to the roof while eating the apple, the apartment was on the top floor of the building so it was easy to get to roof from the fire escape with out attracting to much attention. Once on the roof she started to stretch herself out limbering her muscles, before starting to practice her hoof to hoof combat.

First thing she did was spit the apple core into the air and quickly shifted onto her front hooves and kicked one of her back legs up sending core back into the air. Once the core flew back up and moved into a full front hoof stand and balanced herself up alternating between hide legs in kicks sending the core back into the air using careful aim so she wouldn't have to move hit the core each time, she kept up the kicks until one of the kicks finally splattered the apple core all over her hind leg.

She shook off her leg a bit to get as much of the core off as she could while using her magic to pull out a bucking bag and hung it from a beam holding up a water tower. She had made sure the beam on the tower was strong enough to support the bag and the force of her bucks before she started practicing the routine Applejack had shown her to strength her hind legs up. But she had also painted targets on the bag to help her with her aim, a suggestion Rainbow Dash had made to help improve her accuracy.

"So, this is why your always so tired during the day," Sweetie Belle's voice called out to her while she was bucking the bag using a single hoof style. Starbloom stopped the bag with her magic looking over at Sweetie Belle. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your work out."

"It's alright Sweetie Belle." Starbloom said smiling at her stretching herself abit again. "I hope I didn't disturb your work down stairs with my practicing." She continued as she started to do some different stretches to work her muscles out more but still listen to Sweetie Belle.

"No you didn't, I came out of my room to get a drink and notice you had gotten up, I didn't see you in your room so I figured you had come up here," Sweetie Belle said placing a bottle of water on a table nearby. "You always forget to bring something to drink up here."

Starbloom looked over at the bottle and smiled at Sweetie Belle nodding at her. "Yea I guess I do, thank you for bringing something to drink," She said while floating the bottle over and removing the top, she took a drink before pouring a little of the water on her head to help cool off. She replaced the top and put the bottle back on the table.

Sweetie Belle smiled at Starbloom before looking out over the city from the rooftop sighing softly hearing the sirens. She remembered when they got this city she had been excited, now she wish they had never come to this place and just stayed in Ponyville. "Please be careful Starbloom, and come home." She said looking over at Starbloom.

Starbloom blinked at Sweetie Belle but smiled at her nodding, "Of course I'll be careful Sweetie." She said as she went over the rail onto the fire escape. Sweetie Belle followed her and they both went down to the apartment and inside. Starbloom went to the bathroom to quickly clean herself off before changing into her uniform.

Sweetie Belle sighed a bit, but smiled at Mare Do Well, using her magic to turn out the lights in the apartment making the place dark. "Be careful out there," Sweetie Belle repeated hearing the cape of the costume ruffle as Mare Do Well exited the out the fire escape quietly, but quickly moving to the roof.

Mare Do Well moved away from her apartment quickly, using the roof tops to keep herself out of sight. She was determined to do better tonight then she had last night. She perked her ears and listens tilting her head faintly hearing something not to far away. "Sounds, like an alarm....?" She sniffed the air lightly

"Not a fire..." She made her way quickly to the source of the alarm and saw a bank, the window busted in. She leaped into the air and focused her magic onto her cape using it to glide her way down across the street and when she was sure she had the aim right she pushed forward and burst through the already broken window slamming herself against one of the robbers sending him sliding across the floor.

The look out, a young pegasus colt, was quick to get back to his hooves and growled as the other two who had been filling saddle bags with bits came out of the vault, one was a unicorn mare, the other an older earth pony stallion. "What do we got here? Some freak who don't know when Nightmare Night is?" One of the robbers said, he looked older, and seemed to be the one in charge. "Get the weirdo!"

The young colt charged at her wielding a muzzle blade, Mare Do Well groaned a bit at the Nightmare Night comment and saw the colt charging her with the blade. She used her magic to throw a potted plant at him knocking him out.

The mare was not happy to see the colt get knocked down yelled something at Mare Do Well catching her attention and she turned just in time to catch a desk chair being thrown at her with the aid of the unicorn's magic. Mare Do Well thought to herself, "So this unicorn want's to play catch, let's play catch..." she sent the desk chair back at the unicorn, who managed to catch it, only to get slammed into by the desk the chair had come from knocking her against the wall and out cold.

"Fancy magic aint gonna help you against me!" The earth pony stallion yelled rearing up and slammed both hooves down on a desk splitting it in half. He turned quicker than she would of though possible for a stallion of his size and slammed a hoof into one of the halves sending it flying at her.

She used her magic to quickly deflect the desk before it could hit her and ran forward just in time to jump over the second half as he sent it flying at her, turning in mid-air she bucked him hard in the jaw, the blow staggering him back as she landed on all fours facing him.

"Tougher then you look runt," the earth pony said turning his head and pulling out a large muzzle blade and slashed at her causing her to leap back the blade grazing across her chest, not deep enough to cut her but it did graze the fabric. "Fast to, for a unicorn," he taunted slashing at her again.

She quickly dodged the second slash of the blade. She needed to think fast to take care of him and get out before the police arrived, she could already hear the sirens of the police ponies starting to draw near. She growled and ducked under another slash turning around quickly and bucked up hard under his chin forcing him to bite down hard on the handle of the muzzle blade.

The force biting made him howl in pain a bit and spit the muzzle blade out rubbing his jaw, "You little runt! I'll get you for that!" He yelled and swung his front hooves at her wildly, which made it easier for her to avoid being hit. She used her magic to fling the blade out of reach before sending a chunk of the desk at the side of his head hard enough to knock him out.

"Finally, stay down you idiot." She growled at him with a kick of her hoof. The stallion moaned in pain, she looked around not seeing anyone nearby, the three robbers would be out for a while, plenty of time for the police to arrive so she made her escape out of the front of the bank and around to the alley way making her way out the walls pushing from wall to wall to get to the roof tops and to a safe distances away from the scene of the crime.

Comments

[Artimae]

2744699 Ahh, very good. Now I'm asking myself questions like, "How and why are the police corrupt?" "What did she do to them/they do to her to warrant her entering the costume?" Automatically she's gained a motive, and we're learning a bit about her personality. She's all for justice and hates corruption, otherwise she'd not fight back. Now I'm interested and wish to see where this leads.

On the subject of flow and pacing, I'll be honest here and say that it's a difficult thing to do with a superhero story, mostly because it's generally going to be an ebb-and-flow sort of pacing (eg. Action scenes vs. character-building scenes, where one is fast and lasts only for a short time. In this sort of case usually, that'd be action scenes.) Flow is simply manipulating sentence structure in order to get the 'smoothest' read possible.

I'll give it all another once-over when I get the opportunity today, and now that there's something that can get me invested, I can't wait for it.

[L_Wolf]

2745293 I am holding off on another villain, who'll be more of the classical super-hero villain that I'll introduce who will be one of the root causes of the corruption.

What they did to her to warrant her putting the costume on was explained in chapter 1, though I did re-write the part a little for a more clearer explanation. Though I think I need to re-write that part again for an even better and bigger explanation as to how and why it lead up to the police force trying to assassinate her.

[L_Wolf]

Wow... just noticed I left the B tag open

[Artimae]

2746353 Lol you didn't have to actually answer that in a comment post - I was giving an example of a "good question". Basically a question pertaining to the story. Making your readers question deeper things is fun and gets them interested.

[L_Wolf]

2747414 Ohh, hehe I see. I think, I need to start using my white board to "story board" this one out. Though I do wanna finish off Starbloom Chronicles first. Last thing I gotta wrap up on that is Family Appreciation Day really... which is gonna be fun Not to sure what to have Twilight talk to the class about for that.

[ServingSpoon]

wow the whole time MDW was fighting that earth pony stallion I was thinking this