• Member Since 12th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

CalebH


Sequels1

E

Spike is taking care of Twilight as she is on her deathbed. her friends have all passed away and only he and a mare named Dizzy are still there to take care of her as she passes away. As they wait Spike tells Dizzy about the ponies that had once meant so much to him and Twilight.
*note* this is an edited version if you want to see the unedited version that was written for the EQD memorial day flashfic event click here.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

Nice, a litlte rushed but good. :fluttershysad:

Pinkie Pie's seems intresting, her hosting a party when she knew she was going to die is totally something she'd do. :eeyup:

2640373 Thanks, I wrote this for the EQD flash Fanfiction challenge over a long car ride today so it was written in a bit of a rush.
Thanks for the feedback and i'm glad you liked it.

I'm choking on the frog in my throat... This is deep man. And the ending was perfect, nothing flashy, no presentation, just a simple and respectful she died. Truly an ending to make a person sob.:raritycry::fluttercry::applecry:

2640373 Yeah, a little rushed and some grammar errors here and there but the ending was still :fluttercry:. Good work!

very good and yet so sad
*Salutes* To all.

There are no words. This was the most depressing story that I've read in a long time.


I'm not crying... it's liquid pride... :unsuresweetie:

The feels......they hurts.... You outdid yerself with the edits... I almost didn't even notice the changes, and it hit me in the feels just as well as the first time I read it... I salute you, and will continue to do so as long as you can keep the stories that touch our hearts coming. I'm only sad that we don't have a happy-tears emote, for it'd go here. :twilightsheepish:

OMG I'm literally crying right now like a lot. This is the first story I have ever cried by reading it. And it takes a lot for me to cry. I am crying and there are lots of tears. That, my friend, was a beautiful story.

Well sir you definitely know how to reduce someone to tears.

You reduce men to piles of boogers and tear filled tissues . A deadly story.

im trying to type this through waterfalls. that's what it seems like anyway. it was... marvelous. beautiful. so many things. I need to go clean my glasses now, I think I spilled tears... I mean, water... on them...

I like the story, but besides a few grammatical errors I have a few issues with the pacing, especially the ending where I felt it to be a bit rushed. One suggestion is this:

Twilight turned to her beloved mentor, “Celestia, My teacher and my friend, you taught me everything. You were always there to pick me up if I fell, and there was never anypony more proud of me than you. I can never thank you enough for what you’ve done for me. You took me and rose me up to become your friend, but there’s one more thing I have to ask of you.”

Besides that I can only tell you to keep writing and improving! If I happened to be "that guy" then I apologize in advance.

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