Wrath of the Virgin
Chapter 5: “Wrath of the Virgin”
“Feed us! Feed us! Feed us!” chanted the dragons.
“Feed us, Lawgiver! Bring us a miracle of food!” they called.
“Brothers!” Kenbroath called, rising to his feet. “Brothers! Calm yourselves!” As he did Twilight and Pinkie were treated to the new vantage point… and a scene of hundreds of dragons chanting and pounding upon the earth.
“Brothers! Please, heed me!” Kenbroath called again, but they did not listen. The dragons did not heed him. They did very little heeding at all. They simply kept up their chanting, and soon it reached a fever pitch.
“Feed us! Feed us! Feed us!” chanted the dragons.
“Feed us, Lawgiver! Bring us a miracle of food!” they called. “Feed us… or we will feed ourselves!”
Ten thousand horrible thoughts went through Twilight’s mind as she realized what the dragons were thinking, and it stole out her breath. These nightmares took on a horrific reality as the heads of the dragons turned towards Ponyville… and then licked their lips.
One venturesome dragon lifted his clawed foot… and stepped towards the border of the city.
There was a snap, a coursing reverberation of light and power. A sphere of the deepest types of magic collapsed upon itself, and the living image of sunlight appeared before the dragons... Procer Celestia Invictus.
“I believe that you have stayed in my realm long enough,” she said, her voice echoing around the hills. “I bid you leave while we are still on good terms, and I shall forget the threat you just made against my little ponies.”
The dragons wheeled back, but soon the venturesome drake tilted his head. After a moment he leaned forward, a horrific snarl across his visage. “You are powerful, Mistress of the Plunger, but do you truly think you can fight all here gathered?”
“Are you volunteering to go first, my friend?” she asked, and in an instant the plunger appeared beside her, light falling from it in cascading tides.
The dragons shrank back in fear, the venturesome one skittering away with his tail between his legs. There was a moment of palpable indecision, and the meadow awaited the next move of those gathered in the grass and beside the pond.
“We, as one, can take her!” called a dragon voice. “She is alone!”
Celestia hid a withdrawn sigh. She was becoming upset.
“I assure you, young drake,” she said, purposefully eyeing the direction the voice had arisen from, not particularly caring if the owner of the voice was young or not, “that I am not alone. My long-time companion is with me.”
Twilight Sparkle watched, her mouth falling open, as the few clouds in the sky parted in an ever-expanding circle above the meadow, Ponyville, and all of the Happy Valley…
… and the golden orb of the sun sat behind its living avatar in the world, as it prepared to answer The Daybringer’s call.
“Oh no!” Twilight screamed. “No!”
The light in Celestia’s eyes grew brighter, and a great thrum began crackle through the air. The windows of Ponyville began to shine, glinting in the growing daylight.
It is just after High Noon, Procer Celestia Invictus thought to herself as she stared down the legion of dragons. We shall have to angle your declination, my oldest friend. Alas, I cannot risk my children, and the village is far too close. I must take as many as I can with your first brush, for they will be on me soon after. It seems that this valley will feel the warmth of your touch once more, my love.
The static hiss of ozone frying away lifted through the dragon’s ears, the scent in their nostrils. They lifted their wings, tensed their limbs. Yet, still… they may have called Spike a god, but the radiant mare that now hovered before them in a shimmering light fit the more traditional vision of a supposedly immortal and apparently divine being by a long shot.
Still, a free lunch was a free lunch. They prepared themselves, gulping hard… smirking harder.
“My Lady! Celestia, no! No, Tia, please!” Kenbroath called, pain and worry filling his voice.
Celestia’s eyes flew to him, and for only a fleeting moment they were soft.
I am sorry, Kenbroath, she thought. I had to give them the chance, to give Spike the chance. They deserved it. But, my dearest, despite what we have shared, you cannot ask me to let your children consume mine. Forgive me.
Twilight Sparkle saw all of this, sensed it all, saw the glimpse that flew between the two. Her magnificent mind flew to work as she saw an understanding fly between the alicorn and the drake.
In an instant Kenbroath had grabbed for the two ponies that had sat upon his head, and then dived behind the adjoining hills, seeking shelter from what now was about to happen.
“Keep down!” he called, opening his clawed hands. To his shock he only found Pinkie there, the earth pony looking up to him in a sort of startled amazement.
“Heya!” she said. “What’s up?”
“Your sovereign is about blast this entire valley to glass with the power of the sun that sits inside of her!” he cried, feeling around for the missing unicorn.
“Oh!” replied Pinkie. “Ohhhhh… that’s bad.”
“Yes, indeed. Miss Twilight!” Kenbroath called, looking for the absent pony. “Miss Twilight!”
Twilight Sparkle was nearby, standing next to the old windmill beside the pond, her mind still reeling from both teleporting out of Kenbroath’s grip and searching for a solution. She found shockingly little at her disposal. Her eyes flew around, but in her disheveled state it appeared that nothing would help her.
The last fragments of purple magica vasto had not even faded away from her flash through the ether, but already her eyes were flying around. Twilight searched through her memory, trying to think of something, anything that could save her mentor from having to unleash the power of her mark.
Her own locks interrupted her thoughts. They fell across her face, dirty with the ashes of her raincoat, mustardized and befeathered from the day’s events.
“Gah!” Twilight called, lifting a bang out of her eyes. “Stupid must… mustard!”
Mustard. Chicken feathers. Raincoat. She had danced the Happy Squirrel Dance.
Her magic snapped to the window of the mill, gathering a few thin strands of freshly prepared pasta.
Twilight charged her horn as she laid the noodles before her, wiping the detritus from her body, smearing it across the pasta. A mighty smirk went over her face as she did, as she strained harder to gain more magic.
This would be sweet.
Back at the border of Ponyville, a scene that had not been witnessed in millennia was playing out. The Invictus, The Firstborn Alicorn, was facing down a dragon… many dragons, hundreds of dragons, in fact.
Her sun grew radiant, ready to answer her call in an instant, to speed to her heed, just as it had in times long passed. Yet, despite that, the dragons came nearer. Their ferocious gaze fell across her, and in tiny movements they drew closer to the alicorn. Some even looked past her, towards Ponyville beyond, already imagining what awaited them there.
Still, a few older faces in the crowd remembered the old stories, and uncertainty washed across their features.
“I say to you again, leave now that we may part as friends,” Celestia said, her sun streaming behind her as her eyes filled with its light, the plunger ready by her side. “Less you never depart here alive.”
A rolling chortle lifted from the group, and the audacious drake from before lifted his voice again. “And why should we not be friends, Mistress of the Plunger? Come now… join us for lunch!”
The dragons stepped forward, crossing the line that Celestia had drawn in her mind. At once she drew up higher into the sky, and her eyes went ablaze with light. A great surge of sunlight began to envelop her, and at once great streaming arcs of radiance lifted from her.
“I tire of being named as Mistress of the Plunger, young drake,” she said, her voice catching across the meadow, her wings going wide. “Do consider the fact that I have a much simpler name. I am the Sun.”
There was sizzling sound, and the air grew warm.
“I am the Sun!”
A great tide of light lifted, and at once it began to fill the sky. The dragons eyes went wide, and then they winced in the light, covering their faces with their hands. The sun entered her, communed with her, and Celestia’s voice boomed.
At once a great, vast…
“Hey, Ugly!” called a female voice from beside the pond.
At once all of the dragons turned to face it, shielding their faces from the light of the sun to gaze into the distance.
“Really?” said Kenbroath, peeking from behind a distant hill. “You all answer to ‘Ugly’?”
“I know, right?” Pinkie said, peering on from beside him.
“You’re all hungry?” Twilight Sparkle said. The dragons looked upon her, and the unicorn too shone with magic. “You wanted a free lunch?!” she said with a smile. “Here! Have a little of this! Don’t forget to tip your wait staff!”
That was when the linguini attacked.
A great, vast rolling wave of noodles roared up from the pond. It was massive, taller than any dragon present by multitudes, taller than the roofs of Ponyville.
It was immense, and it was made of all sorts of noodles, pasta, and spaghetti. The noodles roared higher, lifting over them as a squishy, wet-sounding blanket. The dragons had no time to scream, no time to do anything but be consumed by horror and shock and concerns about the amount of starch in their diets.
At once it was upon them, and soon it was washing over them.
“Oh no!” the orange drake cried as he was slowly pulled beneath the flow of noodles, his eyes wide with fear. “It’s a miracle!”
Twilight looked on from beside the pond, just high enough to avoid the deluge of rigatoni, fettuccini, and penne that she had unleashed. She smirked to herself as she watched it begin to roll the dragons away. To her delight, Celestia settled beside her, the powers of the sun having quickly departed her. Twilight felt the gentle touch of the princess, and she looked up to discover her smiling down over her tenderly.
She had found a way.
“Aaarrgggghhhh!” called the dragons, being swept away in vermicelli, calling for their complimentary bread sticks.
“Waaaaahhhh!” some replied, their mouths and noses filling with spaghetti as they wailed for white sauce instead of red.
Together, Pinkie, Kenbroath, Celestia, and Twilight watched for a great long while as a seemingly endless flood of noodles washed down the valley, punctuated at times by wailing, flailing dragons that seemed both horrified and satiated by the act of the unicorn.
Soon enough it began to diminish, and as the last few dragons were rolled out of the Happy Valley, one summarized the catastrophe.
“We have upset the Mother-like Sisterly Very Best Friend Thingy of the Lawgiver! Her judgment falls across us!” he yowled, ramen falling across his face as he did. “We face the wrath of the virgin!”
“The wrath of the virgin!” the dragons howled in time, and then were gone, disappearing over the distant horizon towards the lands beyond Equestria’s borders and to their noodly fate.
“Wraaatthhh of the vvviiiiiiiirrrgggiiiinnnn!” echoed their cries, the sound fading away across the hills, meadows, farms, and streams of Central Equestria.
“Buck yeah my wrath!” Twilight said with a little leap and a satisfied smirk, taking a few deep breaths as her magic subsided. “All of that, and I didn’t even have breakfast!”
There was a regal giggle at her side, and Twilight blushed brightly, suddenly remembering that her sovereign and teacher was standing at her side.
“Princess!” she said, her face burning brightly. Suddenly, Twilight was very happy for all of the mustard, feathers, and ash had covered her, as it hid her from Celestia’s gaze. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t very modest... and kinda salty on my part…”
She felt her bang being lifted, and Celestia’s hoof brushed across her forehead.
“That is quite alright, my favored student,” the alicorn said. “You did marvelously. When I could only use my oldest advantage, you found a way to win without harming any creature. I am so very proud of you! You only continue to prove yourself, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight smiled, her grin answering the one that already sat across her teacher’s face. Her eyes shifted to those of Pinkie and Kenbroath. They smiled at her in reply. “Indeed,” the drake said. “My Lady’s confidence in you is well placed.”
Twilight blushed a little brighter.
“I do have one question, my faithful student,” Celestia said, wiping a few of the feathers from Twilight’s mane. “How did you come to learn this spell?”
“Oh,” Twilight said, a small giggle escaping her lips. “Spike and I had a… discussion, about which one of us does a better job of making dinner a few days ago, Princess. To make a long story short… he won.”
“You used chicken feathers instead of duck,” Celestia said, pawing at the evidence that she had wiped from Twilight’s mane. “An error of translation.”
Twilight gasped. “Y-yes! How, how did you know, Princess?”
Celesta rolled her eyes, giggled, and turned her gaze to Kenbroath. The drake chuckled warmly.
“Interesting things occur when those words are mistranslated, my dearest Twilight,” Celestia said, smiling as she did. She continued smiling happily, a small blush across her own face, until finally falling down into something more contemplative.
“Twilight,” Celestia said. “Spike…”
Twilight’s expression dropped, and at once her eyes flew out over the valley. She scanned it up and down, her expression going wider. “Spike!” she called. “Spike!” she called again, her voice filling with worry.
“Oh, no, my student! He is well, I assure you,” the alicorn said. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief as Celestia continued. “He went to console himself after the dragons revealed themselves to be averse to spiritual self-improvement. I do believe that he is near the Mill Creek Bridge. I asked Rarity to tend to him when I saw that this was becoming… unpleasant. But, Twilight,” Celestia said, painting her voice in a softer tone, “I do think that, given what has happened to him this day, he would appreciate the comfort of someone a little more dear to him.”
Twilight blinked. “Gosh,” she mouthed.
“Yes,” Celestia said. “I can assure you that the first time you disappoint those who have taken to seeing you as something akin to a god is the most difficult.”
Twilight blinked again. As she did she saw something of a pained memory fly across the face of the alicorn. Celestia’s face quickly lifted, but the smile that sat there now was tempered by something else.
“Gosh,” Twilight whispered again. At once she turned, and as her magic gathered to her she took a few long strides. At once a ball of light collapsed around her, and purple wafts of magica vasto showed where she had flashed off to the side of her Number One Assistant.
After a moment, Kenbroath spoke. “What an extraordinary young mare,” he said. “I can see why you all cherish her so.”
“Oh, yeah!” Pinkie replied with a chuckle. “Twilight’s really, really neat and really, really smart… though she does go cuckoo crazy every now and then, but we love her a bunch anywho!”
Celestia could only smile. Together the trio made their way down the valley, moving back towards Ponyville proper. To their surprise, they came across two dragons, the pair somehow managing to escape Twilight’s virginal fury. They were further surprised when the survivors turned out to be the tussling, argumentative pair who had driven each other into theological combat over the tiny details of Spike’s code and words.
“Gone! Gone are those who sought the code! This is all the result of the heresies of purple gem gathering!” called the first, leveling his accusations across the other.
“No greater a sacrilege than gathering green gems, you infidel!” answered the second.
They eyed each other maliciously.
“Ahem,” announced a familiar female voice. The two dragons stopped in mid “debate”, looking towards Celestia as great wet sweat drops appeared on their foreheads in exactly the way reptiles aren’t supposed to be able to do.
“It is quite a shame, really,” the princess said, flipping her plunger around in her magic. “I do hate bringing it out without giving it a chance to fulfill its purpose.”
The dragons sweated even more profusely, not knowing that the manufacturer’s warranty did not cover the plunger’s use on dragons.
“How about this as a topic for further discussion?” she asked, lifting the plunger before their eyes. “You should consider the complications and implications of the question ‘Who gets the plunger first, and why is the other being forced to watch?’ How does that strike you as a conversation piece, my dear drakes?”
The dragons threw one look to the plunger, and then to one another. With a great gust of wind they were in the air, winging their way out of Equestria.
Celestia settled the plunger against her side, making a little “Schickt” sound in her own thoughts, as though she were sheathing a sword. She let serenity settle back into her features, and affected her trademark smile, happily knowing that the rumor of her plunger had been preserved, and that now another horrible reality had been added to the mythos of the dragons. Now, coming to Equestria unbidden meant now not only facing a rubbery judgment, but also meeting a noodly fate.
She couldn’t help but smile a little wider. Her reflection was interrupted as Kenbroath’s sighs settled over the trio.
“What’s wrong, what’s wrong, what’s wrong?” Pinkie asked over and over, bouncing around and around the large drake.
“Kenbroath?” Celestia said, touching her hoof to his foreleg.
“Alas!” he said. “Even in the company of such charming mares, my mind can not help but ponder what fate awaits the dragons… though the beauty of the company certainly helps put my unease at rest.”
Pinkie blushed and giggled. Celestia blushed and hid her face behind her hoof.
“You have always been a charmer,” she said, batting him with her booted hoof. “Fear not for the dragons. You shall soon gather them up, and we have not yet seen where this day will lead us. Come… let us see what is transpiring at the Mill Creek Bridge.”
The trio walked off, leaving the meadow to the birds, flowers, and slightly more efficient windmill.
Far beyond Equestria’s border lies The Badlands.
The name, though unimaginative, was startlingly accurate. There was very little of value to find there.
Chief among the things of little value was the queen of the changelings. Or, at least, that’s how she’d been feeling of late.
More than ample time had passed since her defeat in Canterlot, and through her struggles she had managed to make something of a life for her kind here among the blasted rocks and drifting sands.
Chrysalis looked across the hive they had built. It was nothing… it was a shadow of the vision that had driven her months of planning. It was a hollow, empty place upon which she cast her vision of Equestria bent and broken, the ponies serving as thralls for her hive to feed upon.
She had wanted so much more. She could taste how close she had been. All that she had wanted had been so close, her plan almost perfect. All that she had wanted was to forever enslave the ponies. All that she had wanted was to encase them alive inside horrific cocoons, feeding off their purest emotion. All that she had wanted was to use the ponies to fuel her hive, to grow it into a great black buzzing mass that would use Equestria as a starting point for world conquest, until all creatures capable of love were forever encased in her will, feeding her as she painted all black with her horrible will.
Is that so much to ask? she thought.
She kicked a drone as it buzzed around in front of her, hissing as it looked up to her with palpable fear. Left alone in her thoughts once more, Chrysalis let her mind go back to the state of affairs before her.
"Still, I suppose I should be glad that we did not fare far worse,” she thought, curling her lips at her predicament. “And the one advantage of our current state of affairs is that there are no more nasty–”
Something plopped on her head. The changeling queen lifted to her hooves as two more soft, squishy objects fell across her.
She completed her thoughts as she peered at them. Noodles?
“– surprises?”
With that, hundreds of thousands of tons of pasta crashed through the hive, revealing hundreds of rather upset dragons at the core of the wave, popping up out of the deluge like the worst breakfast cereal surprises in history.
The collective moans of changeling and dragons coalesced, and after a few more moments all went still. Soon a teetering, tottering Chrysalis fought her way to the surface of the great well of spaghetti. She looked around the remains of her hive aghast… and found herself staring into the large, hungry eyes of a rather unpleasant looking drake.
“Wonderful, simply wonderful…”
Back in Ponyville, Kenbroath, Pinkie, and Celestia arrived to discover an unusual scene.
Twelve dragons, those that had followed Spike away from the assembly in the meadow, sat very near the Mill Creek Bridge. The bridge itself was shaking uncontrollably, undoubtedly due to the reaction of the pegasus who still was wedged up under its abutments.
Gothrang the Destroyer, Vulgar the Unmentionable, and the orange dragon who had invented Plungatory sat in the assembly. With them was an ancient dragon, one whose scales were bent and twisted with age. Obviously older than even Kenbroath, the ancient dragon’s eyes were milky… but they shone with something special as he watched his Lawgiver nearby. Another dragon sat with what appeared to be a castle gate firmly embedded and screwed into his eye socket as a patch. There were juvenile dragons, too. Treble, the white and pink one who had pleaded with Garble to give it a shot, and his stout friend.
Twelve dragons sat there, which was odd enough.
Odder things than that were transpiring nearby, and not just the continued horrified spasms that were shaking the Mill Creek Bridge.
Pinkie trotted forward, leaving Kenbroath with Celestia, and joined her friends at the fountain. All of the eyes followed her, settling across the ponies and single dragon whelp that sat around, and in, the fountain.
The warm rays of the spring day had warmed the waters… helped along, no doubt, by the awakening of the sun as a rather firm tool of dragon abatement earlier that day. Now, Twilight Sparkle sat in those warm waters, the little sounds of its trickles flowing around her and over her, washing the pencil shavings, mustard, feathers, and general sense of having had a bad day from the unicorn.
Before her sat Spike, slowly drawing the washcloth up and down her coat. Up the length of her body and down again. He lifted his hand, and Twilight lowered her head into it, letting his washcloth gently wipe any evidence of the day from his dearest friend.
“This couldn’t have waited until we got home?” she said, her voice not chiding, merely inquisitive. Her eyes closed, and he cleared the feathers and mustard from around them with gentle, tender strokes.
Rarity’s magic came alight, and a bottle of mane shampoo came out of the same ether from which she would summon her couch. The elegant mare leaned across the edge of the fountain, not minding the soft splash of the warm waters that reached her from time to time.
“I’m sorry, Twi,” the dragon said. “I’m sorry about everything today. I’m sorry that I got you into this. I’m sorry that… that I wasn’t good enough.”
He rubbed the shampoo into her mane, letting the suds fall away, clearing away the last of the debris. Twilight smiled a sheepish smile, letting her words gather in her mind, her public bathing spectacle going to the back of her mind as she tried to console her baby dragon.
Rarity beat her to it.
“Nopony honestly expected you to be a god, Spike,” Rarity said, leaning forward to rustle his frills. “We all love you for who you are, and if any creature expected any different, then that was their own error, darling.”
“You’re awesome the way you are, you’re awesome the way you are, you’re awesome the way you are!” Pinkie sang in a sing-song tone, splashing through the balmy waters of the fountain as she did.
Spike smiled back to Rarity, touched her foreleg, and then turned back to Twilight. He waded forward, lifting handfuls of water to her. They spilled down her mane, across her face, until finally she was free of the shampoo, and her purple eyes came open. As they did they met the emerald of his.
“You’re a great little guy, Spike,” she said, leaning forward. As she did she saw the reason he’d selected the fountain. The lapping waters hid the little tears that were rolling down his face. She smiled at him, letting her eyes fill his, and then whispered to him once more.
“I’d rather have my Number One Assistant in my life than some dragon god anyway,” she said, nuzzling him.
“Heh,” he laughed, feeling the tickle of her touch, and with that Spike, Rarity, and Pinkie helped a gleaming Twilight Sparkle from the fountain. As they wiped the towels across her, summoned as they were in Rarity’s magic, Spike pulled the brush through her mane and tail, making sure the strands fell lightly and perfectly parallel, just the way he knew that she liked them.
She had thought herself cleaned up, and she had blushed a little when she saw the assembly of dragons, and her teacher, looking at her softly. But, to her surprise, she felt the boy lightly tapping at her side. Looking down, Twilight saw Spike with another towel, and she realized that her legs were still wet.
He started with the right rear, and then the left, before walking before her. He smiled up to her again. He pressed against her chest tenderly, and as she seated herself on the pile of towels he took her forehoof into his hand, slowly wiping the water from it.
“I don’t know why you’re still here, if I’m gonna be honest ‘bout it,” Spike said.
Twilight’s mouth came open in shock, but in an instant she realized that she was not the one he was speaking to.
“I don’t know why you all followed me,” he repeated, hearing the dragons lean in a little closer. He let them lean closer, made them lean closer, and wait as his mind tried to come up with the words. Twilight tilted her head, looked down at the mixed emotions that were going across his face, the child struggling to make his words paint the picture he desired to paint.
So, the dragons leaned, watching as their god washed her hooves.
“I didn’t ask for all these titles and stuff,” he said. “I didn’t want to be a problem, to make dragons fight and cause you to hurt each other… and, and I can’t help but feel that if more dragons had listened to what I was really saying, then all the trouble that happened wouldn’t have, well, happened, ya know?”
He rested Twilight’s forehoof on the ground. He lifted his hands, and she placed the other in them. He continued to dry her as his words spilled out.
“I hope… I really, really hope, that you want to live by the code. But, wow, but it’s hard to do,” he said. “It means living for others… it means, it means being a servant.”
Twilight blanched, almost stopping him. That word. Did he think that she saw him as a servant? As… as a sla…
His hand rested across her hoof, as though suspecting her worry. He patted her a few times, and then let her hoof go to the ground. Spike drew a deep breath, and then turned to face his adherents. He put the towel over his shoulder, and drew his eyes across them.
They were a motley crew. They were warped or twisted, bent or bowed, aged or too young. His eyes settled on the only “normal” looking one, a fine drake. Something moved beneath him, and soon a tiny figure peered out from beneath his legs.
To Spike’s surprise he found himself looking into the eyes of a whelp his own age… a girl, the first female dragon he’d ever seen. He smiled to her, and she blushed, waved, and then disappeared beneath what he could only assume to be her father once more, her two orange eyes blinking at him from the dark.
Spike pondered again, and then lifted his eyes to the crowd.
“It’s hard. It’s so hard, but it’s so worth it!” Spike said, some small enthusiasm showing in his voice. “It’s how I’ve come to live my life, and I’m happy… I really am. I have creatures in my life who love me, and who I love a whole bunch.”
He looked back over his shoulder at the ponies. They smiled to him.
“If we want to be noble, we have to serve,” he said. “There’s no point in greed if we just end up living the same way, if we end up miserable animals. The ancient dragons… they brought gifts to the world, they helped others learn, they spread knowledge. We can do that too… it just takes putting others first, living for others, ya know?”
Spike hummed, and a familiar tune developed on his lips.
“Oh, a dragon is the noblest creature ever,” he sang. “There is more to them than guarding treasure…”
It was his song, the one he had begun to sing to Applejack. Now it was fully revealed, a completed work. It was a child’s song, filled with words that sort of rhymed if you didn’t think about them too hard, and puns so cringe-worthy that Pinkie fell to the ground in a full-body spasm.
Hope lived in the words, and the refrain caught in the imaginations of the dragons gathered there, laying next to the quaking bridge.
The song ended, and soon Spike simply stood there, looking at the dragons, a pleading look in his eyes.
“Ummm,” said the stout juvenile dragon. “Well, uhhh, if we don’t get greedy… how will we grow? How can we ever get all big and stuff?”
Spike opened his mouth… and then quickly shut it. Oh… he hadn’t thought of that. A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.
“By desire, my fine fellow,” Kenbroath answered. “By wanting to grow as a dragon rather than grow a hoard, rather by desiring to do well by others than by ourselves.”
“Will that work?” Spike and the stout drake asked in unison.
“I say to thee,” answered the ancient dragon, his scales creaking as he spoke, “try it… thou shalt but like it.”
Spike’s face alit. He wrapped his arms around themselves, and then lifted his face to the dragons once more.
“That’s all the Noble Dragon Code is, really, ya know? All the rules come down to being good to one another, worrying about each other… and, I know it sounds corny, but love one another, okay? That’s all I’m asking, three things. Follow the code, treat others like ya wanna be treated, and respect those who have earned respect. It’s not gonna change the world in a single weekend, but… but you guys are a good start.”
He smiled at them.
“I’m… I’m not going to give up on The Noble Dragon Code. I’m gonna keep trying, and I hope you do too. That’s it, really. Thanks… thanks a bunch for hearing me out.”
He wiped his hands through his frills again, and then looked back to them with a blush.
“That’s all I really have to say,” he said, rocking on his heels.
“Twi? Can we go home? I kinda need a nap,” said a drowsy little former dragon god. In a moment, the soft feel of Twilight’s nose was pressed against his back, and he lifted his face up into her nuzzle. Soon he was riding his best friend across the Mill Creek Bridge, the dragons lifting their hands to return his wave… to return his blessing.
With that, he and Twilight ascended into the sun… turning down the High Street of Ponyville as spring afternoon sunlight sat in their eyes, an unfortunate side-effect of poor civil engineering on the part of the city founders.
The dragons watched them go, the little female waving to Spike long after he was out of view. Her father scooped her up soon after, and each in turn said their goodbyes to Kenbroath and the Mistress of the Plunger. They looked over Ponyville one last time before lifting away into the air, and into a world where they would have to make hard choices… to attempt to be noble dragons or not.
“I must say, they work quite well together, Spike and Miss Twilight. Quite comfortable with one another, too,” Kenbroath said, laying his head on the grassy patch next to the bridge, placing it as close to Celestia as he could. “Reminds me of the old days. Do you still have my basket?”
Celestia wiped her face along his, and a tender kiss fell to the side of his lips as she giggled. “Of course,” she said, leaning against him. “I keep it in the south tower, west annex, third floor, fourth room on the left. It is right in the middle of the room in a big wooden chest marked ‘Hamdingers’”.
“Hamdingers?” he said in a questioning tone.
“Well, it was the only thing I had available at the time! I mean to put it in a proper box, and I remember to try every few millennia, but things simply keep coming up,” she said, resting her head atop his as best she could.
Together they sat there, each enjoying the warmth of her sun and the company of the other.
“You were right, Kenbroath,” she said.
“Of course I was!” he quickly replied. “What about, in particular?”
Celestia giggled, and batted him with her hoof once more.
“About letting him reveal his code,” Celestia said, returning her head to his cheek. “He was faced with a challenge, and he rose to it. Even after all of his disappointment, he truly wishes to be a noble dragon… even if he defined what that means himself.”
“Indeed,” Kenbroath answered, tilting his head to hers. “I can only wonder how it will all turn out. You wouldn’t happen to have any guesses… or gambits, would you, My Lady?”
“I am not inclined to share,” Celestia said, her head still resting upon his.
“Your silence speaks volumes, Tia.” He said, sinking farther into the warmth of her sun. “Among other secrets, I take it that today is not the day we inform him that he is…”
At once there was a soft yelp, and their heads came up immediately. There, at the Mill Creek Bridge, a dragon was seen to be splashing through the water.
“Whoa, hey… yeah, I thought it was kind of weird that a bridge was bouncing around like that. What are you doing under there?”
Kenbroath and Celestia lifted their heads. There, beneath the bridge, stood Treble, the white juvenile dragon.
The Mill Creek Bridge jumped, and a series of horrified yelps arose from it. Kenbroath rose to his feet, but Celestia placed her hoof upon him, motioning for him to watch.
“Whoa, whoa!” Treble called, sinking to his knees. “It’s okay! I’m… okay, yeah, I am scary, aren’t I?”
They watched as he turned away, listening as he talked to himself.
“Treat others as you’d want to be treated, right?” he told himself, not knowing that Kenbroath and Celestia were looking on. “I don’t want to be afraid, or scared. So, ummm… so I don’t want her to be scared. Okay… well, right. How do I… wow.”
He spun, looking back at the bridge. As they watched he went down on all fours, making himself as small as possible.
“Hello?” he asked the bridge.
“Eep!” said the Mill Creek Bridge.
“Ummm, hi… hello,” he said. “Are you okay? Why are you so scared?”
A series of high-pitched whines went through the air, syllables just barely audible in them. They did not escape the drake’s keen senses, and he looked down into the waters of the stream and then back up to abutment of the bridge.
“Yeah. Yeah, there were a lot of dragons here… but they’re all gone now. It’s only Kenbroath, who’s a friend of your princess, the Lawgiver, and me.”
More shrieks and whines rose from the bridge.
“The Lawgiver? He’s a little purple guy. Lives with a lavender unicorn, I think… yeah, I think so.”
The bridge yelped.
“Oh! He’s a friend of yours? That’s cool. So… umm, why are you afraid of me, and not him?” Treble asked.
The bridge released a series of pained moans.
“Oh, because he’s just a baby dragon… god, thingy, guy.”
The bridge wailed.
“Yeah, I suppose you could say he’s cute,” Treble replied. “But, hey… my momma said that I was a cute fingerling, too!”
There was a momentary pause, and then a softer tone arose from deep within the abutment of the bridge, still faint, but more calm.
“Well, yeah,” Treble said. “Of course I had a momma! Doesn’t every dragon… or pony? She was pretty, and nice, and I miss her a whole bunch…”
As Treble painted a picture of his mother with his words, Kenbroath and Celestia sat there listening, waiting to see where it would go. Soon the dragon had finished, and he turned his attention back to the bridge abutment.
“How about you… ummm, miss?” he asked.
There was a whisper of a voice, one that almost seemed lost amid the babble of the brook beneath the bridge.
“Miss Fluttershy,” he repeated. “Gosh, that’s a pretty name. How about you? Any family?”
Fluttershy’s voice just barely became audible. She stuttered, stammered as she often did when worried or scared. But, as the dragon simply sat and listened, as he showed her concern, her voice became stronger.
“Oh!” he said, a realization falling across him. “You like bunnies, and hedgehogs, and mice, and cute stuff like that. I can do cute! Watch!”
With that the young drake rolled over on his back, lifting his hind legs and forelegs, wagging his tail back and forth… looking more like a playful puppy than a ferocious dragon.
A single laugh lifted from the bridge abutment, and slowly a yellow coat and a pink mane and tail revealed themselves. “Oh! Oh… y-you look so s-silly!” she said, covering her face to hide her smile.
“Bark!” called Treble, and at once Fluttershy was giggling. Her demure little smile sat on her face as her wings lifted her up to the deck of the bridge.
“Oh, oh do come out of there, you’ll c-catch a cold,” she called. Slowly Treble lifted himself out of the creek, and set his head on the railing.
“T-Thank you,” Fluttershy said, “I was so scared of all of you that I… I didn’t stop to think that you could be, well, nice.”
Treble shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah,” he said, “I’m a terrifying dragon, goes with the territory, ya know?”
“Oh! Oh dear! Oh dear oh dear!” Fluttershy cried, looking around her. “Look at the time! It’s so late! It’s so late! I haven’t been to the market, or gotten supplies for my animals, or made my appointments…”
“I’d… I’d be happy to help you out, if you’d like me to,” he said.
“The code,” Kenbroath whispered. “’A dragon lends a helping claw’. Index card five.”
“Oh, would you?” Fluttershy said, lifting and falling on her wings. “That would be so very… nice.”
Treble fell back on all fours, trying not to look too scary, and together the smiling pegasus and the noble dragon went into the remains of the market… blushing as they passed a bed and its occupants that still sat luridly in the middle of the street.
Together, Celestia and Kenbroath watched them go, and a shadow of hope flit across them.
“It’s a miracle,” Kenbroath breathed.
Celestia giggled, and then lifted her face to the sweet spring breezes. They rolled around the princess, drifting through her mane.
A hint of change was in the air, carrying on the gentle winds.
End.
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You say it's the end, but it's marked as incomplete. An error, or is yet more to come?
Funny, well written, a simple but good message. Now there's a story that was definetly worth my time.
Words cannot describe how amazing this story is. Still marked as incomplete though, so...one more chapter for the epilogue?
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
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I forgot to change the designation! This story is done, but think of it as a harbinger of things to come.
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Heh, I'm glad ya caught that!
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Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
MST3K ref FTW!
And a touching ending. Bravo!
Witty, cute, beautiful. Those are the words I find defines this story.
Thank you for taking the time to write it!
Well that was cute, and just for the record am I seeing too much symbolism or does:
Spike=JC
Twilight= Virgin Mary
Rarity= Mary Magdalene
12 dragons at end= 12 apostles
Celestia + Kenbroath= The other two bits of the trinity
Dang it! Celestia was so very nearly going to go all Sun-Goddess on them (and rightly so)! Okay, Twilight's way was much funnier, but I so rarely see the bad guys getting what they deserve these days I sometimes really just want to see some of them get something visceral for a change...
Though ahaha! Uuuuunlucky, Chrysalis!
You really must do something which Celestia actually getting to strut her stuff again at some point...
And, once again with the hints at Spike... Don't think I haven't noticed! I shall expect an answer to that eventually, you know!
As per usual, excellently done.
...and thus was Twilight Sparkle forever known as the mistress of noodles in the tongue of the dragons, feared and respected nearly as much as her mentor, Procer Celestia Invictus, Mistress of the Plunger.
Cool story, bro!
Have some mustaches!
I wonder if the code will stick?
What a great ending.
The best part of today so far was seeing this update, and seeing that it's still tagged incomplete. And I won't even get a chance to read it till tomorrow!
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That was always up to the dragons themselves.
Oh, gawsh, I started tearing up and smiling all at the same time at that serving scene, and it continued though the rest of the chapter.
I laughed, I cried, this story moved me. It really did.
I really like your Pinkie, she's got just the right mix of crazy and caring.
Treble x Fluttershy OTP
Happy ending!
I am going to infer from some of the hints that Kenbroath is Spike's father, and (the obvious one) was originally to Celestia how Spike is to Twilight. On the story itself, all I have to say is that it is amazing and I hope you do some type of sequel to it.
"it only takes a pebble to crumble a mountain" Im sure someone said that sometime. So I have a theory of what would happen after this book. Though I doubt anypony would care enough to read it.
Anyway I can see in the future that eventually Code 'Followers' will have passed on their ways how they were meant to be and eventually the Dragon population shifting from the small population of followers and large population of jerks to the other way around. Though I bet this would drasticly as well shrink the dragon average size and as a result save Gem's and other food in the long run. So while spike may have only won a small victory in the present, years from now that small event will grow and grow until it eventually evens out as a noticeable percentage of the population.
From there I would predict a civil war between animalistic and code followers similar to how the north of the USA and the south side of the USA had with slave treatment. While the USA north was the 'Good side' similar to that of the code followers. while the south side, being the 'jerks' would find it difficult to maintain their ways when the sun and moon is with the code side anyhow.
Too long? Heres the short version,
Spike won small victory, judging from the butterfly effect, years from now possibility of all dragons following code anyway. So the small win is a potential big one instead.
Also, All hail the Lawbringer, Servent to the mighty virgin who brought the wrath of noodles upon the Changeling and Dragon races!
Superlative! I have to sit down and re-read it from start to finish again, just to get the full impact at once.
I'm sure that someone along the line will complain about some of the religious overtones. To them I say this: Poppycock, balderdash and thistle sandwich!
Personally, I thought they helped make the story something a little more. From Spike gently washing Twilight's hooves to Spike calling on the twelve dragons that followed him to serve others... Beautiful my friend, just beautiful.
Isn't that the room marked "Beware of the Cockatrice"?
And now Celestia can offer draconic intruders a choice...
"Do you want the plunger, or do you want the linguini?"
Aww this~ <3
The Regulator - Clutch
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster's wrath is both terrifying and awesome. Few have witnessed it and lived, and fewer wish to relive the harrowing experience. The touch of His Noodly Appendage provokes both awe, fear, and yeast infections in equal measure."
Fluttershy is best bridge.
When I finished Chapter 4, I thought Celestia was going to turn into Corona or Nightmare Flare or whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Then she started saying "I am the Sun!" and I got all scared again...
Gaaaah, my teeth! This ending, so sweet!
Seriously though, this was great, fantastically funny, the canon characters seemed pretty in character, if one accepts "Godlike Serious Celestia", and despite the little crisis with the hungry dragons and greed, the story had a lot of the "pleasant, harmony" that MLP generally has, so well done on that.
Also, the "If you're not following the Code to become better but just to avoid punishment" is possibly the best and most true thing I've ever read in a fanfic. Kudos on that.
Your narrative is also one of the few to make this unique style of whimsical voice work. It's hard to put a finger on what it is that works so well in your way of writing, but many people attempt something similar to this style, and promptly crash and burn horribly. You didn't, you actually write a funny, weird narrative here.
A few things though. One, you should find more synonyms for "at once". There was a part where it was all "at once, at once, at once" and that didn't really work very well.
Also, alit is not really a verb, I think. You can set something alight, but you can't use it as the main verb. I think.
Additionally: "making sure the strands fall lightly and perfectly parallel, just the way he knew that she liked them." It should be "fell", not "fall" here.
Good story. The only thing that is a shame is that the backstory of the dragons seem underused. I don't want a whole "restoration of the dragon race" in this story, it doesn't fit the tone, but with the whole revelation of the fall of the dragons, narrative convention makes one expect more to come from it. Especially with how tragic you play the whole thing.
I just remembered, well done on handling the odd musical thing in MLP too. I mostly detest people who write the songs down, because it rarely works and mostly, people use crappy songs, but the way you write them indirectly is great.
All in all, there is a lot to like in this story. Well done.
P.S: Shaking Bridge Fluttershy and All Hail are both brilliant running gags. All hail Bridge Fluttershy!
awesome fic, kinda sad to see it end though
FEAR THE TWILIGHT'S PASTA BASED WRATH!
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MST3K reference indeed! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
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Thank you for taking the time to read it, and to leave a comment!
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Heh, am I that easy to decipher?
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...
You have read The Song of Syhlex, right Commander? I thought you did, but if you haven't you can see Celestia's mark come alight in that work. I hope to do some more with Spike's acestry, but we'll have to see how canon moves...
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Mistress of the Plunger, The Wrathful Virgin! I wonder what a world would look like where we see the dragons struggling with the code, hmm? Thanks for reading and commenting!
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Thanks so much for saying so!
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Heh, I had just forgotten to change it around. This story is done, and I look forward to your thoughts on it when you get a chance.
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I'm glad that you found the story so moving. Like most things I do, I meant for it to be more than "just a comedy". I'm also glad that you like my Pinkie Pie. I haven't had a chance to use her to any great extent since A Sweet Taste of Cake, but I really like her character.
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Indeed!
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I am! Any particular reason why this work should remind you of him?
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Happy indeed! Thanks for reading!
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I worked in both the straight use of the trope and a subversion!
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Perhaps nothing as straight-up as his "father", but there is a connection. There may not be something as straight-up as a sequel, but my personal fanon is reflected all throughout my works. Thanks for reading and commenting!
2626420
That's quite the theory! I'd have to consider how such a thing would fit into my personal fanon, but I will say that I hope that canon doesn't change my hope that the dragons are more than they are. Thanks for giving this a read!
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Heh, good catch on remembering the line from Dear Idiot, Ry!
Yes, there is a religious overtone to this. I wanted to find a route that was neither the standard "I'll do something to prove I'm not a god!" or "Yes! Now I'll take advantage of the situation!" Spike is the best character to accomplish both of those things. He desperately wants the best for the most people... dragons, ponies.
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I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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That's a secret that I'm sure is best kept to ourselves, eh?
Yes, Calvin and Hobbes was an amazing comic.
I would never subject my readers to that!
Whoa!
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Thanks for the musical interlude!
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Heh, I'm glad I gave ya a laugh! Get some sleep, though!
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See if you can figure out how to use it in regular conversation this weekend!
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She is indeed!
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Thank you for the grammar catches! I greatly appreciate it!
I'm glad that you took the time to spot so many subtleties in my work. You were very insightful and deliberate in pointing out my writing style and how it seemed to work. I hope that I can look forward to seeing you back here again, maybe, to offer insight into some other stories I've written?
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If you haven't read it already, then my story The Song of Syhlex is a great place to read about Celestia invoking her mark!
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Fear it indeed! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
2627967
Downhill in what way, DJ?
Yeah, the dragons do three things that tick me off about religion, and I had Spike call them out about it:
1.) Being in religion for "fire insurance", rather than trying to be receive grace and become better people.
2.) Using religion as an excuse to start, rather than end, conflict.
3.) Interpreting religion in favor of their own biases, rather than for the betterment of all.
4.) Abandoning it when it becomes too hard.
So, yeah this was a bit cathartic for me. I hope it didn't distract from the fic too much.
Two noodle incidents in the same story, both with actual noodles. You are a madman, TD. And great job Twilight!
A dragon washing his unicorn friend/sister, with all twelve draconic apostles watching? How theological. And Spike as a type of Christ? Didn't see that coming, though I feel like I should have.
Oh yes, it's starting.
Dang, TD, that was just fantastic. What a great ending.
I'm guessing we're not gonna find out the secret Celestia had regarding Spike.
2628186 Oh, sorry, two unconnected statements in the same comment. I just meant downhill in terms of the crowd of dragons deciding it was time to eat Ponyville, not about the religious references.
The religious bits are actually what turned the story from hilarious and entertaining to deep and meaningful (in addition to hilarious and entertaining, that is), at least for me.
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'Alit' is indeed a real form of 'alight', but in the sense of 'settle down onto', not 'set aflame'.
This one is probably one of the best ones you have written. Along with A Cup of Joe and The Talk this is very, very good. Keep it up man.
This may be one of the best lines ever written in a fanfiction.
The part at the end with Fluttershy and Treble was very heart warming.
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dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9528-1369111436392.png
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Oh, my bad. I just see so many odd word choices in fanfics that I get overconfident and lazy enough not to show that I'm not a hundred percent sure of everything.
Success! I learned something today.
Time to write a letter?
2628144 If not his father maybe his older brother. After all, with how old dragons can get I wouldn't doubt if there brothers that are literally thousands of years apart. And I should be thanking you for making such an amazing story.
Amazing work!
A funny story from start to finish if a meaningful ending.
Love your style of writing. Reminds me of how your other story went, "Our Gifts", funny with a deep meaning in the end.
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I'm glad you enjoyed the story, DJ. I'm also glad that you enjoyed the little extra depth. You know that I've long depended on the support of readers like yourself.
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Not in this one, but perhaps someday.
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Oh, hey! Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
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I was proud of that line, and I'm glad that you found the final scene so endearing!
2628755
I'm still not sold on EqGTwilight... or EqG. I'm glad you liked this story, though!
2630058
I'm glad that you're able to see a distinct style to my works! Thanks for reading!
A dragon being nice? Fluttershy not being scared of said dragon? It's a Christmas miracle!
On that subject, I just realize that Twilight was responsible for Spike's birth despite being, as the dragons have repeatedly reminded us, a vigin
Intentional?
2630299
Mind = Blown
>>>“Your silence speaks volume, Tia.” He said, sinking farther into the warmth of her sun. “Among other secrets, I take it that today is not the day we inform him that he is…”>>>
"...not actually a dragon, but one of the experiments of the Dark And Impossibly Evil Lord Alondro the Malevolent, who had planned to destroy the world to make room for interstellar gas stations, motels, and fast food joints once the Earth was destroyed for the intergalactic highway."
Chrysalis = The Devil
Soon she shall tempt Spike for 40 days and 40 nights...
And then Garble, who held the jewel bag and was really a dirty thief, betrayed Spike to the evil high priest Ahuizotl for 30 pieces of sapphire. Spike was then sentenced by the cowardly Griffonian Empire's governor, Punchus Parrot, to death by crucifixion!
Except the iron nails couldn't pierce the scales of his wrists... and he kept setting fire to the crosses with his breath... so they gave up after a while.
Thus, there was no atonement for the dragons, their sins went unforgiven, and their souls were lost to Plungatory forever!
This reminded me of a less perverted variant of the South Park episode in which the town's priest had to get the holy book of Vatican Law changed so they could have sex with women instead of little boys... (yeah, the priest scandal was big-time in the news back then, and you know how Matt and Trey get that devious gleam in their eyes when they see something they can rip to shreds in satire).. and they had to summon the giant queen spider...
The whole point was, as this story did in a less perverted fashion, that Christianity had gotten so wrapped up in strange traditions and splinter groups that it had completely lost sight of what it was supposed to be about in the first place.
I think this story did a wonderful job with the metaphor. Celestia = The Father, with the whole divine wrath, Spike = Jesus, trying to teach them all to get along with some very simple moral guidelines to live by.
No Holy Ghost analogue, but to have one, Spike would have to kinda die.
2630175 I'm not convinced on Equestria girls either, but I'm going to give it a shot. It'd be kinda hypocritical of me if I didn't...
As usual great story. I'd fave again if I could.
So, what's going to spread faster? The code? Or a fear of noodles?
I'd include plungers, but that's already engraved into minds of almost the entire dragon population already.
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I ain't sayin' that it was intentional or not... just sayin' that it is!
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Oh, believe me, my friend, I work with them... I know all about how kids can act.
I knew you were behind it!
You put a lot of thought into that!
Gah, I haven't watched South Park in over a decade.
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I wish you could Fave again, too! We have so much in common!
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Whichever does first, I hope that there's a good story hidden in it!
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I would have returned that high five so powerfully that it bent time and space! Heck yeah Spike is just as smart as the rest of the main cast!