Written for the contest in this thread.

What would you do if you woke up with god-like powers? What if the Goddess you love is without her own magic? What if Pinkie Pie's alicorn fetish was never important, until now? What if you're Twilight Sparkle and nothing makes sense anymore? The Answer: Equestria is sooooo boned.

Belated thanks for excellent editing of this beast goes out to Knight of Cerebus.
JKinsley helped with proofreading.
General encouragement/idea bouncing help from Misago.

My name is Rachel. Or at least it was. A bad decision brought me to the brink of death. I was "rescued" from that fate by some self-appointed "Spirit of Chaos." Or maybe he really was the devil, I don't know. He promised me a second chance but didn't tell me it would be in the body of a cutesy pony in a world which makes no sense. Worse, I think I've been set up, and something bigger is going on ...

(Rated teen for language and non-gory violence)

Cover art by the talented NoviceCreedArt on tumblr. Link to original work.