Alicorn Switcheroo

by Fuzzyfurvert

Chapter 7

Epilogue

By Fuzzyfurvert

Everypony stared at Luna in silence.

Luna cleared her throat again, letting go of Pinkie Pie to sit up straighter. She set her jaw and looked back into each set of eyes. “I know wh-what happened. All of it. Why Twilight has become an alicorn, why my sister is without her power, and why Discord is missing some of his magic.”

Discord snapped his fingers, the sound playing in reverse and in a flash the archive bedroom was transformed into a courtroom with the Princess of the Night sitting in the witness chair while the jury stand was filled with copies of the chaos spirit. More copies of Discord filled the gallery, while one with an oversized neck brace sat at the prosecutor's table with a confused Twilight and Celestia, another with glasses was typing away with a stenographer’s machine. Presiding over the room, from the tall judge’s seat, sat a stern looking Discord in official red and black robes, complete with an ostentatious golden necklace.

Judge Discord sneered down at Princess Luna. “I believe, you have some explaining to do.”

Luna paled, leaning away from Discord, but she nodded dutifully. She turned and looked at her sister and Twilight, sighing. “This is all my fault.”

“OBJECTION!” Another copy of the draconequus, this one in a charcoal colored suit, stoode up at the defendant’s table pointing a talon. “My client is implicating herself, I demand her last statement be stricken from the record!”

“Who’s side are you on?” Discord glared at his copy from the judge’s podium. Lawyer Discord shrugged bashfully and sat back down. He glanced back at Luna, twirling a claw. “Get on with it.”

Taking a deep breath, Luna settled back into her conjured chair. “This all started a few weeks ago. One night, after court had adjourned, but before it was time yet to lower the moon, We...I...thought to look in on my sister’s dreams.”

Celestia, in her own seat folded her hooves and huffed. She kept her voice low, grumbling. “I told her she didn’t have to. I like a little privacy now and then.”

“I meant no harm,” Luna continued, “I only wished to see what was on her mind.”

“And what did you see?” Discord leaned in closer, his golden necklace rattling.

“I saw a happy dream. There were no nightmares in my sister’s mind. She was with Twilight, having an animated conversation in this very room. Seeing her at peace, I made to leave, but before I did so, I saw my sister take Twilight Sparkle in her arms and kiss her deeply.”

“Wowzers! Just like they did a minute ago?” Pinkie Pie burst into the court scene, having acquired a blue and yellow suit somewhere. “Was it hot? Who was on top? Give me the gory details!”

“Cross examination of the suspect comes later, Miss Pie.” Judge Discord banged a mallet-sized gavel against his podium.

“Oops!”

Luna shook her head, mouthing ‘later’ silently at the earth pony before turning back to the rest of the court. “I left my sister to her dreams, but I returned a day later, and then again each day for a week and more. Each time, I was greeted with another vision of her attraction to yon Twilight.” Luna nodded at Twilight. The newly alicorned pony was staring at Celestia, who was sinking further and further under the table and blushing furiously as Luna laid out the Princess of the Sun’s dream liaisons.

“Despite these visions of passion, my sister continued to act as if nothing was the matter, and continued to exchange letters with Twilight without expressing her feelings.” Luna hung her head forward, ears flattening. “I wondered if perhaps this was something simple...like a mere fantasy of a younger lover?”

Only Celestia’s horn showed above the top of the table, all but the tip of it turning red from her blush.

“I was confused by the repetition, and why it was Twilight that tickled her fancy each night. So I thought to ask her about it.” Luna sighed. “The conversation did not go well, I’m afraid. I was told, rightly so, to mind my own business. But I was focused at that point and could not let it go. I persisted. I pushed and prodded at the issue, but each time, Celestia would deflect my insistence by citing different reason such a relationship would be improper. I attempted to counter her arguments, but she would hold fast to them.”

Discord rolled his eyes and slumped tiredly in his chair. “What does Celestia’s thirst for her student have to do with my missing magic? Can we hurry this up?”

Luna shot the judge a a sharp look, narrowing her brows. “I’m getting to it. Either way,” she turned back, her eyes focusing on Twilight, “my sister’s argument always came back to the different levels of power between the two of you. So after some thought, I decided to try and equalize things. You must understand, Twilight, I never meant anything like this. I never meant any harm to either of you.”

“I meant to make you and my sister more evenly matched, so that the barriers that kept her from expressing her desires would in turn vanish.”

“I’m assuming this is where my magic comes in? This plan of yours?”

Luna nodded again. “I thought to include you in the plan, Discord. I tried to move some of my sister’s power to Twilight, but my ability was not enough. I could not manage the conduit between them and extract the arcane energies. However, I believed your...unique...brand of chaos magic could help.”

Discord tapped his forelimbs together, chewing his lip. “You know, I would actually have enjoyed playing a prank like this. Why didn’t you just ask?”

“I tried!” Luna huffed, her mane frizzling around the edges. “Several times, in fact! But you were otherwise concerned with causing mayhem that you would not listen! So I attempted to ask you in your dreams…it did not go as planned. I came away from the tortured realm of nonsense of your dreamscape with a bit of that chaos clinging to me like a lost puppy. I meant to return it, I swear, but I also saw an opportunity to follow out my plan.”

Discord hummed noncommittally, his lip curling into a sneer around his one enlarged fang.

“I set up the conduit, but nothing happened.” Luna hung her head again, her muzzle practically on the railing in front of the witness’ chair. “Time passed and I thought I failed. I believed everything I tried was for naught, until this morning. When I went to check on Pinkie Pie in Celestia’s room, I saw you speaking with Twilight and my sister on the balcony.”

She lifted her head enough to look at Twilight and Celestia, her face dark. “I saw what I had done. My mistake. So I sought to fix it post haste.”

“That’s where I come in!” Pinkie Pie popped up from where she’d been sitting, listening to Luna’s tale. She jumped over the railing into the witness’ booth and sat down in Luna’s lap, much to the startlement of the Princess. “Princess Luna was being a big frowny pants! She didn’t like seeing Twilight with an imposter Celestia, even if the imposter was rreeeaaallllyyy good at impressions! Plus, I could tell she needed a party to help somepony feel better so she could feel better. That kinda party is a Pinkie specialty!”

Pinkie giggled and gave Luna a tight bearhug. “I couldn’t not help! I mean, look at this face!”

The Princess smiled tiredly, her dark coat turning a little more purple.

“So we hatched a new plan, we would get Twilight and the Princess to see they were in love by setting up a romantic party for two! But…” Pinkie’s smile turned hard and she looked at Discord, making the spirit lean away. “You kept interrupting!”

“Well...um...you see, Pinkie...I-I...uh…” Discord ran a claw around the collar of his robes, visibly sweating. “It was funny?”

“Preventing alicorn hookups isn’t funny. It’s inexcusable! There’s like...only three of them!” Pinkie snorted, growling at Discord in the process. “Besides, it’s not like you’re even hurt. Sure, it wasn’t nice of Luna to take some of your magic, but she didn’t intend to steal it! If you’re going to be a party pooper, then be one to Luna and not two innocent ponies in love!”

“Party pooper? Me?!” Discord gasped, one paw against his chest. “I am not a party pooper! Luna’s crime, no matter how harmless to me personally it is, is still a crime.”

Twilight, silent throughout the courtroom proceedings, stood up. “Discord, this has gone on long enough. Now that we know what is going on, we can fix all the mess this has caused.” She sighed, looking down at herself and blinking suddenly moist eyes. “I never asked to be close to the Princess like this...and I’m kind of sad it has to come to an end, honestly. I’ve always—for as long as I can remember anyway—seen Celestia as larger than life and unapproachable. Unassailable. In-equine, even. Now that I’ve walked a literal mile in her hooves...I-I can see...the mare underneath.”

She looked back up, tears tinkling in her eyes. “If for nothing other than that, I’m glad Luna did what she did. But you’re right. It’s still a crime and you deserve...d-deserve to have what’s...yours re-returned.” Twilight sniffed hard, swallowing back a sob as she smiled.

“Twilight.” Celestia reached up and put a hoof on the larger mare’s shoulder.

Discord shifted in his judge’s chair and rubbed his chin. He looked back and forth from Twilight to Luna for a moment, groaning low in his throat. He raised his gavel and brought it down sharply. “Jury, have you reached a decision?”

One of Discord’s copies stood up and nodded. “We have, your honor.”

---

Later

Twilight sighed and set down her quill, rereading over what she’d just written about Discord’s court scene. The details seemed correct and succinctly full enough to satisfy even her strict taste in historical accounts. The book, once it was finished, would be the first in a line she had planned for recording the aftermath of what the Canterlot tabloids were starting to call the ‘PrincesSundering.’

She sat in her library, in Ponyville again, writing her account of the momentous day that would eventually make it into the official history books. Sunlight streamed in through her windows, setting the whole chamber in a warm golden glow that always reminded her of the Princess’s aura. She levitated a drink to her lips and sipped thoughtfully from the double espresso latte with chai and chocolate mint, mixed with almost frozen whole milk and topped with heavy whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon that she’d bought from Sugarcube Corner earlier in the morning.

Her offering pleased the spirits of her tiny former imaginary horde of viking ponies.

Still need to nip that in the bud, too. She smirked and blew gently on the ink to speed the drying time. Her duties to Princess Celestia had certainly swelled in the meantime, and managing things in Ponyville with her friends and things in Canterlot was taking up a lot of her time. So far, only little things like that hideous example of portemanteau had slipped through the cracks. So far.

Of course, a great deal many things changed during the following weeks. To punish Princess Luna, Discord chose a very ‘Discord-y’ form of embarrassment. For the next month, she had to wear branded Discord clothing and merchandising to court and her every public appearance. That chafed the Princess, but not near so much as also admitting to the ponies of Canterlot that Discord was more powerful than she.

However, not everything was sour grapes for Luna. She’d found a new and fast friend in Pinkie Pie.

Twilight shook her head, smiling to herself. Pinkie took it upon herself to help Luna become more in touch with modern ponies and traditions, showing the Princess how to ‘really’ party. For a while, she’d worried that Pinkie’s alicorn fetish would manifest, but the pink mare confided in her that after the two of them had worked together setting things up for Celestia and herself, she felt a stronger need to be Luna’s friend than anything else. At least for now.

But of course, with Pinkie involved, there was always multiple ways to interpret things. Their relationship might change one day, but at the moment, it consisted of the two galloping around the castle playing pranks and setting up impromptu parties for everypony. Now free of Discord merch, Princess Luna seemed to be really enjoying herself.

Besides that and her extended duties, things had more or less returned to normal. Equestria still only had three alicorns, and she was still studying magic and friendship. She simply reported her findings personally. Twilight smirked and lifted her quill again, spinning the purple feather in her magic aura. A tendril of her mane held up the inkwell and she dipped it in carefully to continue her writing.

So long as she concentrated, she could mostly control the bit of chaos magic that was now firmly interwoven into her own and Celestia’s. The conduit proved quite an interesting piece to study, but true its nature, it rarely allowed her to do so for long. It continued to do the job Princess Luna had set for it, if in a completely unbalanced way. Most of Celestia’s magic was now her own. She still needed the older mare’s wisdom and guidance, but she was beginning to get the hang of being a goddess. Time would tell if it gave her the longevity of an alicorn as well, but at least on that front, there were no complaints. Celestia was a hale and hearty as always, just a little shorter than normal.

Their relationship, too, was an area of her new life with no complaints. Celestia obviously needed her for the heavy lifting, like moving the sun and such, but they were much more than simple symbiotic, or codependent partners. Twilight didn’t intend to include them all in her historic recountings, but the kiss they’d shared in the archival tower was far from the last.

She chuckled at the thought. Twilight would never have thought before, in her deepest fantasies, that she’d enjoy being the big spoon with Celestia. The Princess, almost as surprisingly, seemed to rather enjoy being the one on the bottom. It certainly helped her spot Pinkie Pie when the earth mare tried to hide in the rafters to catch glimpses of more alicorn-level snuggles.

Twilight, can you come to the ballroom? I need your input.

Twilight looked up, her horn tingling with private message spell that washed over her.

Oh, and make it flashy.

She sighed, putting down the quill and ink again. The wedding planner must be trying to talk Celestia into or out of something again. Reaching out into the aether, Twilight willed a portal open, her mane transforming into pure mana and crackling with lightning. She took a steady breath and stepped into the folded space that would deposit her in the ballroom via a purple ball of arcane fire. If it was something about the shape of the napkins for the table settings again, she was going to use her mana hair to show the wedding planner pony why they shouldn’t upset her soon to be wife or her wife’s soon to be co-princess.

The End

Comments

[ultra1437]

Oh man, this updated? My day is made!

[Purple-Smart Heart]

"Wedding planner" "Soon-to-be-wife"

Boy, once the denial goes away they move fast!

As with all fics I love, I'm so happy with the ending, but I'm sad that it's over.

This was truly a sweet, funny, immensely creative, and beautiful piece of TwiLestia!

[Multiversecruise]

I can't believe i never heard of this story before, its hilarious! And its apparently been around since before I even found the website?
...and for some reason its just now being finished?

I gotta finish reading this but afterwards im gonna find out the story behind that.

[Fuzzyfurvert]

7809406
Let's just assume that his problem 'fixed' itself due to the blood loss Mr. Cake suffered from his nose.

Besides...when in cartoon horse land...obvious erections make for a swift change in story rating.

[Cadiefly]

I'm going to favorite this even before reading. Judging by comments and synopsis on this judgment.

[Fuzzyfurvert]

7809427
gifwave.com/media/22494_30-rock-thumbs-up-alec-baldwin.gif

[Fuzzyfurvert]

7809462
No need to hold back once the walls come crumbling down. After Twilight realized and accepted what was in her heart, she let the flow take her where she needed to be, and that was at Celestia's side.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

[Fuzzyfurvert]

7809607
As to why you've never heard of it? I imagine that's cuz I suck at being a professional author more than not. You'll notice that big ass gap in chapters that happened in 2014. I got busy with other stuff, and for a while I more or less forgot this was even a thing. But eventually I came back to it and started buckling down.

I finished writing the last three chapters' drafts back in April. But my original editor, Knight of Cerebus just started a new job and quickly became unavailable. So then I had to shop around a bit for a replacement. Between myself, Jkinsley, Misago, and my wife Bubble Boom, we cleaned up most of the glaring issues and polished this turd until it shined.

Glad you liked it.

[Fuzzyfurvert]

7809666
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls7rh9PGNC1qcpnwg.gif

Nice trips, btw

[Cadiefly]

7809715

first time I heard that phrase. do you mean the picture of Pinkie Pie having sunglasses?

[Fuzzyfurvert]

7810315
Sorry, old 'chan lingo. Your comment's numerical tag ended in the same three digits, so when I replied to it, it displayed as >> 7814666 (or something close to that) before being covered up by your name.

[Cadiefly]

7810352

haha, I don't even know my own user id #. So I have the devils number huh?

[Fuzzyfurvert]

7810368
It changes with each specific reply, but yes, in that instance, you were the Dark One Himself.

[Cadiefly]

7810372

Whoa, Wheel of Time reference there. Nice!

Edit: Or rather, it feels like it because I'm reading the series....that was actually too vague to be it.

[Crimson Dawn]

This story was a bunch of fun. I really like your Pinkie and Luna and I really liked them together. I would certainly not mind seeing more of that or something similar. Pinkie is always a good idea.

[insertfootinmouth]

7810374 RIP Robert Jordan.

[Cadiefly]

7811661

Rip Robert jordan

[Bloody_Tofu]

7811661
7811703

And now I'm sad after this happy story.

Very enjoyable and fun read.

[Neece]

This was cute

Her offering pleased the spirits of her tiny former imaginary horde of viking ponies.

Am I the only one that wants a story that features a horde of tiny Twilight Vikings as the main character? No? I though so.

[nemryn]

Presiding over the room, from the tall judge’s seat, sat a stern looking Discord in official red and black robes, complete with an ostentatious golden necklace.

I see what you did there.

[Fuzzyfurvert]

8810124
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/5/17/1156601__artist+needed_safe_discord_disqord_john+de+lancie_parody_q_solo_star+trek_star+trek-colon-+the+next+generation_voice+actor+joke.jpg
I should hope so.