Salt is a terrible substance. Once a pony starts licking it, they can't stop.
It takes a truly brave soul to leave it behind...

This is an Anonymous in Equestria story. Please demonstrate your ability to read by not pointing it out an infinite number of times in the comment section. Thank you.

Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

Ever since you have arrived in Equestria, you have been an outcast. Not because of your personality or looks... well it's mostly because of your looks. Ponies here tend to be a lot more Xenophobic than you first thought. But now, you have had it.

And yes, there will be a bit of OOC in this story.

Anon made a major impact on the lives of every friend he made in his time in Equestria, but he had to return home sometime. However, his friends weren't ready for him to leave just yet. Writing letters is supposed to be therapeutic...

The mane six really love Anon, but he just doesn't seem to get it. Join them in their journey as they each try to win him over.
U-Um... Anon is... Well... Oh my...
He's a really great guy. I wouldn't mind having him as my lab assistant for life.
Nonny's the best! I love spending my time with him!
Anonymous has this sort of "flair" he brings about whenever he comes near. It's extremely enticing.
Yeah, I mean, Anon's like my best friend. Would be pretty cool if he were more though...
Anon's amazin'. So much that I actually kinda get erm... Well it feels like I got the creepy crawlies in mah stomach.

But why won't he notice me?

You are Anon, and you've received another letter from Applejack. You're not going to reply to this one, just as you refused to reply to the many letters she had sent you over the years. Unfortunately, Applejack isn't going to let you ignore her any longer. Maybe it's about time you two had a talk.

---

Just a short one-shot greentext I wrote a few days ago after seeing an interesting writing prompt. Decided to touch it up and turn it into prose form so I could post it here.

EDIT: Wow, I didn't expect this story to get so many hits in such little time. Thank you to all who read it! Consider giving it a thumbs up (or down)!

You are Anonymous the lone human in equestra. Everyweek, you meet with twilight to talk about how things go back where you came from. But a meeting for one pony, might look like a date for another...

Finally, the story alot of you have been waiting for. My explanation to why the quality is a bit lower than the rest: I HAD TO WRITE IT OVER LIKE 6 TIMES. everytime changing the story completely. Why you ask? Because I couldn't think of anything with twilight :P

Story number eight in the heartwarming moment series.
Who's next?

Sunset returns to Equestria to escape the living conditions of the human world. Once she gets to Ponyville to rebuild her life, she runs into a human that makes her feel complete. Except... he doesn't like ponies.

You are Anonymous the lone human in equestra. After Twilight turned in to an alicorn and went away to canterlot you are left homeless. Lyra offers you to stay with her and Bon Bon. She knows Bon Bon likes you, but you didnt... Oh boy.

Story number seven in the Heartwarming moment series.
Who's next?

This story idea was by : Seraph973
He made up the story idea and what would happen and gave me permission to use it.

You are Anonymous the lone human in equestria. You accepted to foalsit Diamond Tiara for 60 bits, will you regret it? Or will it all turn out better than you thought?

My sixth story in the Heartwarming moment series.
Who's next?