Princess Cadance
The two ponies lie in the same bed, backs to each other, silent. Gazing into their own separate corners of their room. Their own private arena. There wasn't any words to be said anymore. She had to stay strong. She couldn't show him how his words stung her. Yet... they always did.
Marriage is one of the most deceptive lies possible. Two people who are passionately in love for a long time see it as the next logical step. Those two couldn't possibly see life with any one else. So it only seemed natural that they spend the rest of their life with that one person. However, time changes things slowly and sometimes invisibly. Take for instance, a bike, sitting in the back of a junk yard. If you give it enough time, the elements will slowly do their work and erode the metal frame to a shadow of it's former self.
Every morning it was the same for Princess Cadance. She would get out of bed, do her mane, put on makeup, then brush her teeth. Then she would look in the mirror and wonder to herself... where she went wrong? When did it all change? How could everything have gone so wrong?
There was only one event that stuck out in her mind. It was the dawn of the Equestria Games. Over the last week, Twilight had been sending several letters to her, talking about how she was excited to introduce the Princess to her new friend. It didn't take much for the Princess of Love to see through her sister-in-law's letter. Twilight had a massive crush on this hew-man that she kept talking about. It was in the paragraphs about him that Twilight's extensive vocabulary became apparent as she described him in delicate, passionate terms. Her handwriting was long and flowing as she wrote, as if the young Alicorn was imagining her crush as she wrote the letter.
Cadance could only smile to herself as she remembered how young Twilight would always try to put her and Shining on "play-dates" when she was just a little filly. Little Twilight couldn't have possibly known that her babysitter had a silent crush on her older brother, but it was from these play-dates that Shining slipped that he thought Cadance was pretty. The resulting blush on the babysitter's face matched the shade of a freshly picked tomato, as she looked away from him.
She was speechless from his words... little did she know he was hoping to hear at least some sort of reply. Shining was never good at picking up social cues or the feelings of the other ponies around him. So while most stallions would have taken Cadance's reaction as a slam dunk, he kicked himself for putting himself out there... only to be shot down.
Two weeks passed from that day, with the teen Shining avoiding the popular Princess. He tried to keep his disappointment hidden from everyone around him. However, his parents had other plans. Specifically plans to go out for the night. Which meant Twilight needed a babysitter.
Cadance sheepishly walked into the Sparkle home... but was silently hoping to see the stallion she hadn't seen in the halls for two weeks. Her heart fluttered at a million miles a minute. She knew he thought she was pretty... but he didn't do anything else... Was he just saying that for his sister?
The questions burned in the teen filly's mind. As Twilight read a book, Cadance moved upstairs to where the bedrooms were. Right beside Twilight's room, was a closed door with insignias of several Canterlot sports teams. Cadance walked up to the door, but paused. Was she being too direct? Was she letting her mind get the better of her? Her muscles tightened and tightened.
She couldn't do it. This was a terrible idea. She turned to leave, but tripped, slamming her face directly into the door.
Door – 1, Cadance's Face – 0.
She yelped in pain, holding her hooves on her nose. Now she did it, now she looked like a complete fool. She remembered feeling as if she could just die at that very moment, that it would have been better than if Shining came out.
But he did.
Shining opened the door and saw the alicorn, on the ground, covering her nose, muttering 'Ow' over and over again. He helped her into his room and sat her on his bed swiftly, and without a second thought. Cadance's mind went numb as she looked around his room.
"Stay right here, I'll get an ice pack," he said.
Cadance nodded quietly and watched as he galloped out of the room. She looked over his room and saw various books about sports history, pictures of the royal guard... several makeshift weapons and homemade sets of armor. A book sat on the edge of the bed, which seemed to be a book on requirements for joining the royal guard.
He returned to the room quickly as she looked over his room.
"Here... this should help," he said, extending the bag of ice with his hoof.
"Thanks," Cadance answered, taking it and pressing it against her nose.
Shining sat at the edge of the bed and looked away. The air became tense as the two teenagers sat beside each other, alone. Cadance wanted to say something... anything, but her throat seized. However, her limbs held fast. There was no other place that she would rather be than right beside him.
"Hey... um," Shining began, trying to spit out words he clearly practiced in a mirror. "I'm sorry for being so weird a few weeks ago."
"What do you mean?" Cadance replied, just happy to be talking to him.
"Well, um. I said you were pretty... and I guess you didn't like it... and I just wanted to say Sorry I guess."
Cadance smiled and felt that warmth fill her soul again. She tried to work up the right words to say... but nothing seemed be perfect enough.
"This sounded a lot better in my head," Shining said. "Now I'm just making it worse." Shining rose from the bed and sat in the corner of the room, away from her. "You should probably be looking after Twily. Sorry I said anything..." he said sorrowfully.
Cadance was perplexed. He was right, she probably should get back to the star filly that would love nothing more than to spend hours on end, sitting in a chair, reading a book, doing nothing.
She rose from his bed and took another look around before taking a few steps towards the door. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to leave. It was now or never. She wanted what she came for.
The princess turned and walked towards the young stallion, staring into the corner of the room. She unfurled her wings and wrapped her hooves and wings around him from behind.
"I like you too," she whispered into his ear.
If it weren't for Twilight, she and Shining wouldn't have probably ever have been a couple... let alone stay a couple for so long. Maybe it was her time to help out Twilight. She is the Princess of Love after all. Nobody should know love better than her. That's why she found it so early in her life. It all made sense.
Now it was time for her and Shining to return the favor for their favorite sister-in-law. Yes, that was when it all started. It began with a lunch.
Shining wasn't able to join, the Equestria Games needed his attention. Twilight sat on one-side of the table, while she sat on the other.
"Well... when is your coltfriend coming, Twilight?" Cadance teased.
"Shhh. He's not my coltfriend," Twilight blushed, looking around to ensure nopony overheard the Princess.
"But you want him to be," She continued to rib.
"Shhhhh!" the younger of the two princesses insisted.
Cadance giggled to herself. It was just too priceless to see young love budding. Twilight clearly had it bad for this hew-man. Who was she to judge? She would have to get a better look at what this... tall monkey thing looked like first, before she could make and swift judgments.
"So when is he coming?" Cadance asked.
"He should be... Oh! Hey Anon!" She said, waving her hoof to someone behind Cadance.
Cadance slowly turned, wanting to meet this being first hand. She didn't expect she would have to do everything in her power to not drop her drink. Her eyes connected with his and her throat seized. Her muscles tensed and she felt almost shy again for the first time in...
He's walking this way. Ohmygosh. Cadance, act natural.
The pink Princess swollowed hard and turned back to her sister-in-law with a smile. "He's cute," she said.
"SHHHH!"
"Did I come at a bad time?" the deep voice boomed from behind Cadance, sending shivers down her spine.
"Wha- Nonono!" Twilight awkwardly giggled. "It.. It was just-"
"Girl talk," Cadance interjected with a smile.
"Ooh. I see," he said.
He sat down and then lunch went on normally. Cadance introduced herself, nearly forgetting her own name for a second. Then the three chatted. Cadance had to do everything in her power to not let her eyes focus on the delicate features of the human's face for too long. But she wanted to memorize every little curve and edge that it held. Then, after the meal was ended, they were gone, leaving Cadance at the kitchen table, her muscles tight and chest warm.
'Cadance. What are you doing?' she thought to herself. 'You are married. You can't just-'
"Hey babe," The familiar masculine voice calls from behind you. He gallops up to the table and wraps a hoof around you. "They let me out, but it looks like it wasn't early enough. Shoot. I was hoping to meet this Anon guy.”
"He seems nice," Cadance answers, dragging a fork across her salad, suddenly disinterested in it.
"That's good," Shining replies, sitting beside his wife and lets out a deep sigh. "I was worried she might find some sort of jerk with terrible manners."
Cadance shakes her head, then looks up at her husband. His same familiar loving eyes looked back... but she couldn't seem to look at him the same. Something just seemed different. They dated for so long. They've been married for a while. But something was different.
"Hey, are you going to finish that?" Shining asks.
She looks down at her salad and shakes her head. Shining quickly takes the meal and digs in.
"I should head back," Cadance says quietly.
"Alright. Love you babe," Shining replies.
Cadance rises from her seat and rests her head on his. This used to send tingles down her body and feel like she was at home. She remembered wanting to be lost in his arms and never wanting to know the way out. Yet...
Cadance walked the halls of the Crystal stadium, attempting to figure out what was different. What changed? It couldn't have just been the human. She actively tried to remove the thought of the human from her head. When did Shining's manners get so bad? When did our goodbyes get turned to 'Love you?' What did the word even mean to them anymore? They said it so much... but what did it really mean?
Her eyes followed the floor of the stadium as she walked through the halls. Had the word lost it's meaning to her from hearing it so much? Love you Shiny. Love you babe. Princess of Love. Newfound Love. Love is in Bloom. Puppy love.
"I thought there was some kind of rule about Princesses being gloomy?" came from a familiar booming voice. She must have jumped half a foot in the air and spun around to see Twilight's human standing in the hall walking towards her.
"Oh. Uhm. Hi Anon," the Princess said, trying to push away an oncoming feeling of nervousness.
"Hey yourself, Princess. What are you doing out here while some of the world's best athletes are competing for glory out there?" Anon asked. The question needed a second to process as she looked him in the eye and a small smile curled across her lips.
"Oh, uhm. Well, I've never been a big fan of sports. I usually just put up with them for Shining," She said, not thinking about maintaining her royal posture or appearance. "Oh goodness, don't tell him I said that."
"Psh. Only if you promise to not tell anyone that I hate sports too. I just put up with it because that's all these stallions seem to talk about," Anon agrees.
"Thank you!" Cadance says out loud, the nervousness within her melting away as Anon finally closes the distance. "I can't stand it."
Anon smiles as he looks at her more relaxed appearance.
"Well, that's a little better, it looks the little raincloud over your head dissipated, but what had you down in the dumps Princess?" Anon asks. Cadance looked up at the human and opened her mouth... but nothing she wanted to say seemed right. He looked down at her, curious for an answer.
"I-I don't know," Cadance replied.
"Usually ponies find out if they talk about it long enough," Anon said. "I don't want to surprise you, but I have amazing listening skills."
Cadance smiled and looked up at him. She doesn't even know him. Chances are, after this... she will never see him again. Plus... being able to interact with him one on one could help her warm him up to Twilight. Right?
"If... you don't mind listening," Cadance said weakly.
In a small sitting room, she and Anon shared a small pot of tea as she poured her thoughts out of her mouth. The filter was gone, abandoned.
"I feel like I've been compromising for so long... He does something because I want to... I do something because he wants to. I can't remember the last time we've done something... together," she says.
"Do you think it's because the both of you are so busy?" Anon asks.
Cadance laughed to herself. "Busy? There is a lot of downtime with this job. Things are much more peaceful here in the Crystal Empire compared to Equestria," Cadance says, staring to the floor. "We have the ability to spend time together almost whenever we want..." Anon leans back in his seat, thinking to himself. Cadance stares at the floor as her body begins to feel weak. "I remember when we were young, we would sneak off and spend time in the gardens when nopony was looking... Just our own private escape in Canterlot," the Princess says. "It was so romantic. So perfect. Now... he'll forget to kiss me goodnight... or even say he loves me sometimes.” Cadance looks up at Anon. "I can't remember the last time he said 'I love you.' It's always shortened, or casual. As if it were saying that the weather was nice," she says.
Anon locks eyes with Cadance again and leans forward in his chair. "I don't want to make any suggestions... but I want to know what you think is happening, in your own words," Anon says.
Cadance's eyes return to her hooves and she fidgets with them. The words sat at the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to say them.
"I... I don't know," she says.
Anon rises from his chair and sits next to the trembling Princess. The air became quiet and tense.
"I think you do... and the sooner that you realize it... the sooner you can work to be happy again," Anon says.
Tears begin to gather in Cadance's eyes.
"It can't be happening though..." Cadance says shakily. "The Princess of Love can't have a failing marriage..." Anon wraps an arm around Cadance and strokes her mane.
"Hey... it can happen to anypony. It's okay..." Anon says comfortingly.
Cadance leans over and buries her face into Anon's chest and the tears couldn't be held back anymore. The nights not being held by him finally broke through. The silent dinners without conversation toppled the pillar. The compromising arguments finally couldn't be settled. In her mind it was over.
Her hooves were wrapped tightly around a new crush...
She knew it was wrong of her to be doing this, however her limbs held fast. There was no other place that she would rather be right now than right beside him. Anon simply held her closely and stoked her mane, assuring her that it will be okay. She was happy to finally just be releasing all the pent up feelings that she hid away for so long. Cadance felt helpless to the forces around her that held her in a position of power and responsibility. She would give up anything to be a teenager in school again.
No responsibilities... no worries... And with him, she felt young again. Cadance felt that she could face that daunting responsibilities that came with being a Princess. However, she wasn't sure if she was crying over her failing marriage, or...
Because she knew in her heart of hearts, from her head to her hooves, that she could never have him. She fell asleep in his arms and when she awoke the next morning, he was gone. Two weeks passed from that day, with the Crystal princess avoiding the strange human. She tried to keep her disappointment hidden from everyone around her. Her inner disappointment.
Disappointment that she let herself get attached to the human that Twilight loved. Disappointment that she let her marriage with Shining become so dilapidated. Disappointment that she didn't even want to try to fix it.
When she approached Shining after that night, he wasn't even concerned that she didn't come to bed that night. That was when she knew it was over. Neither of them really cared anymore. It was all a routine. It was all an act. What the worst part of it was... The worst part of it all was that... she didn't care. That was what hurt her the most.
On the final night of the Equestrian Games, a large ball was held in honor of the athletes and participants. Cadance idly chatted with guests, trying to mask her inner turmoil from the world with makeup and fake smiles. It wasn't long before Twilight came to chat with her. That was when the guilt really hit her.
The least she could have done was distance herself from Anon. If she was with him one last time...
"Hey Cadance!" Twilight called.
"Hey Twilight, some party huh?" the Princess said to the other as ponies danced to classical music in the background.
"Yeah! It's a shame Anon couldn't see it... hey have you-"
"He isn't coming?" Cadance asked instantly.
"Yeah. He needed to pack his bags was what he said," Twilight answered. "He's seemed kinda... out of it though. I think he's homesick."
Homesick. That was a great word for it. The way she felt right now.
"Anyway, have you seen Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, she's over by the punch line." Cadance said with a smile. Twilight looks over to the punch bowl, where she spots Rainbow Dash.
"But wait, there is no punchline..." Twilight says. Cadance widens her fake smile. Gotta keep up the act. "Oh! I get it! That's a good one. See you later, Cadance!" Twilight says, heading off to join her friend.
"See ya," Cadance says distantly.
He's in his room. You look around the gathering of guests and athletes. Nopony is paying attention to you. He's in his room. Shining is off talking with his guard friends... He's in his room. She take a deep breath.
Cadance sheepishly walked up the staircases to the guest rooms, each marked with the name of their inhabitants... but was silently hoping to see the human she had avoided contact with for two weeks. Her heart fluttered at a million miles a minute. The questions burned in the mare's mind. Cadance walked up to the door, but paused. Was she being too direct? Was she letting her mind get the better of her? Her muscles tightened and tightened.
She couldn't do it. This was a terrible idea. She turned to leave, but tripped, slamming her face directly into the door.
Door - 2, Cadance's Face – 0.
She yelped in pain, holding her hooves on her nose. Now she did it, now she looked like a complete fool. Except this time, wearing a dress. She remembered feeling as if she could just die at that very moment, that it would have been better than if Shining came out.
But he did.
The door slowly opened and there he stood. Her hooves covered her nose, which pulsed in pain.
"Hey," he said quietly
"Hey," she answered.
"Don't you have a party to be at?" he asked.
She stood up on all four hooves and looked into his eyes. He looked right back into his.
"Do you... want to take a walk through the gardens?" Cadance asked.
The two ponies lie in the same bed, backs to each other, silent. Gazing into their own separate corners of their room. Their own private arena. There wasn't any words to be said anymore. She had to stay strong. She didn't care that he saw her that night. She did care that... Cadance stared off restlessly.
Twilight never found out. Which is good for her... she thought. Yet, the letter she got today ate at her soul. It was from Twilight. Anon went back to his own world. Twilight admitted she wasn't taking it well. The words sat on the page like some sort of impossible enigma. He was gone.
Cadance knew what the words meant, but couldn't understand what they meant when they were put together. How could he be gone? He can't be gone. She reread the letter several times, praying it was some sort of sick, twisted joke. But there was no joke. Her Anon was gone.
Twilight mentioned that she was writing letters to Anon, in a way of trying to vent all her feelings and come to terms with it.
Cadance raises from her bed and pats her pillow. Darn it. Her pillows always seemed to get wet when she thought of Anon. She sighed and rose from bed.
"Where are you going?" Shining asked.
"What do you care?" Cadance responded, walking out of their bedroom.
She sombered through the halls of the Crystal palace in her nightgown, her eyes focused on the floor. She just wanted to be anywhere other than here. Especially if it were close to Shining. Cadance felt defeated. Completely overwhelmed by her past mistakes and promises. Promises of Love. Promises of Sincerity. 'Till death do us part.' If only she could just be anywhere but here.
She pushed herself into another room, a quiet study where she liked to be alone. Cadance almost never spent time in a private study, so it was the perfect place to hide. Sitting right on top of the desk sat the letter that she had reread every day. She tried to come to terms with it... but she just couldn't. He can't be gone.
The princess sits at her desk and rests her head on top, covering herself with her hooves. At least here, she could cry and nopony else would see. At least here, she could act like the lonely, sad teenager that she felt like deep inside.
Maybe that letter is a good idea. What would she have to lose? If it could ease the pain that she felt day to day. It would be worth it. Cadance pulls out a piece of parchment and places it in front of her. Grabbing a piece of parchment, she wets her quill and presses it to paper.
"Anon,"
She froze, unsure of what to say next.
That night... in the garden. Everything felt so right, everything felt so perfect. I told you that I was going to talk to Shining about a divorce, and I did. We are trying to do it quietly as to not start a major political scandal.
She looks down at the paper and tears formed in her eyes.
I'm sorry I put you in that position... but I couldn't hold it back anymore. I had to tell you how I felt. I had to tell you that you made me feel like a little filly that had her first crush. I had to tell you how much I missed you, and how the world didn't feel right when you weren't around.
She sniffs and moves to a new paragraph.
You didn't say anything... but I knew. I saw it in your eyes. It was in your body language.
Cadance sighs to herself and shakes to her head.
You wouldn't let me kiss you. You said to wait until after the divorce. so I did it. He was a lot more agreeable than I thought he would be.
The Princess sniffs and a tear drips onto the letter.
You gave me something to look forward to. Something to hold on for. A goal. I missed you every day, but at least I knew that after the divorce, everything would be over.
She wipes the tears from her eyes and keeps going.
Now what am I supposed to do? I'm all alone in this big castle. The sky feels grey. Food doesn't taste right. One day seems to meld into the next and nothing feels right anymore. It's like the color got sucked out of life.
She pauses and presses her head to the desk again. Rising her head and trying to repress her sobs, she continues.
I just want to wrap my wings around you and keep you here. When I do sleep, I dream of you. I miss you so much that my whole body hurts... Sometimes I'm finding it hard to find a reason to get up in the morning. I just hope this is all some sort of terrible nightmare and I might get a letter from you.
Cadance sniffs and closes her eyes.
Please, just tell me this is all some sort of dream.
She moves down to the bottom of the page.
Always yours,
Cadance.
She leans back in her chair and stares into the dark room. If only she had something of his to remember him by, rather than just precious moments and memories. But if there is one thing that helps her rest easier... it will be the memory of Cadance and her Anon walking through the garden, hiding away from the world. Knowing that she got the chance to see him, that one last time.
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FIRST
i read this thread and let me tell you i instantly LOVED the concept and the whole letter thing. im still intrigued as to what happened to anon. does twilight know or is she just as clueless as to what happened to anon? very interested in all of this.
honestly i dont think you should bash yourself as labeling this as not your best work. you've risen to be one my favorite authors to keep track of.
i do hope though you give this a proper ending ;_;
i really wanna know if he comes back or if he writes a letter back addressing everyone, which gives it a bittersweet ending by not coming back but helps the ponies move on. or worst case scenario he ded or is never heard from again.
oh, dude! you gotta have him come back!
quickmeme.com/img/b6/b6de68c22b33f94ef59d5bbc6402d00dd62ffe0ca9a1c327839d38725baa81ac.jpg
Flutterpriest, dude look at me, look. at. me. you gotta make more.
bro, real talk? this was awesome and it cut me deep.
bro,you gotta bring him back! aight?
damn now im really sad none of this will have a conclusion or an ending. all of these letters are so sad
feel like the tag should have a sad tag up there because none of these make me feel better XD still though these stories are so addcting! i sure hope you change your mind or make a story based on this concept, of course with only 1 or 2 mares only cos having anon have a harem of the entire population of equestria would be nuts.
I can't read this, its to damn sad, but i might read it sometime....its that good Nice job mate 10/10. A pony story that made me cry my heart out. I only read the mane six and Trixie before the water works were bursting through the dam of my eyes.
OH MY GOD THE FEELS
BRING HIM BACK C'MON PLZ
5180034
Dude! Thanks for the catches. I fixed them.
Holy shit, an at least somewhat original/non-cookie cutter concept for an AiE story. Never thought I'd see the day.
This... It was good... He should come back... Please... Make him come back... I will be waiting...
Aw, geez, I feel the feels here, but I do wish that you didn't have to go the divorce route with Shining and Cadence, it just seems too harsh, and whenever I see them, they do seem to be in love, no matter the occasion, and they do show it differently from time to time...Couldn't you just do a "I miss my friend" letter instead? You know, like that ad with the talking dog asking the girl to not smoke weed? Ever saw that one?
5181323
Thank you for pointing these out! I didn't spend as much time on the mane six as the other ones...
Honestly, it's a bit of a crime.
I've fixed what you pointed out. Great catches.
Actions have consequences and these consequences can last a lifetime. Sometimes we forget that simple words and actions can profoundly affect others, especially those who are close to us.
I like how you had all of them write letters to Anon, as if he was away on a vacation, or dead. For all intents and purposes, he is dead to them.
Well, if Anon ever DOES go back, they'll need to dunk him in the Mirror Pool a few times so there will literally be enough of him to go around.
So, do you plan on giving us an explanation as to why there's no contact with Anon or his world?
Why must you hurt me this way...
But in all seriousness, though there were some minor mistakes, it was a very good story. Didn't make me cry, mind you, but it was very enjoyable.
i hope you make a sequel if you can i would love to read more letter and why each of them came to love anon the ponies i love hear from are Derpy Vynal Scratch the CMC Ms Cheerilee Bon-bon The Royal Sisters even Queen Chysilas maybe even Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon
Again, it slipped into second person for a line, which this story is clearly not.
I think that should be 'her nose' since Cadence is the one with the sore nose, not Anon.
All the slippages between third person and second person are very jarring.
You know what would really be cruel?
The attempt failed: he was snapped back to Equestria, rubber-band like, and the only reason it didn't happen immediately (to their perspective) was because of a time-fuckery affect (which was instant for him) -- he crash lands and is horrifically injured.
They write letters for him to read when he recovers/awakens from the coma.
And then he does... with complete amnesia.
He reads these letters and the ones written during his coma, and we see him try to work out what his relationships were with each pony based on these letters.
5183589 you are obviously a master of amazing tragedy
I can just see someone making a fan fic spin-off of this. Where Anon comes back somehow, and he sees everyone and is like, "Hey girls, miss me?" Like it's the most normal thing in the world.
I don't think an anon story can get much more Gary stu than this.
5184941 my thoughts exactly.
5183254
5183276
5183344
Wow. I don't have an excuse for these. Thank you. I'll fix these right away.
Liek if u crie evrie tiem
A truley touching fic, it was great.
The guy must have been something special in order to make this many mares fall for him.
I loved how he affected everyone... but I don't quite like how he affected everyone romantically.
Sorry its just I've seen a charecter like this in a fic called Xenophillia. Now don't get me wrong I love your fix and the one I mentioned but...I feel like having all of them 'love' him is too perfect.
I would like to see this continued with someponies able to eventually move on, and better their lives because of Anon. Although I think someponies should genuinely love him(maybe even more than one) but just not everypony. Or if everypony does like him, at least give him more flaws.
Of course it's your story and I'm just a lowly fav and commenter.
5186314
I try not to comment in ways that spoil a plot, but a few things about your comment stuck out to me.
First of all. You are not a lowly fav and commenter. I don't know a single writer that discredits their comment section or ignores it for any reason. I read every comment. They mean a lot to me. I may not respond to many of them, but it's due to not wanting to spoil a plot for them. It's like when you are about to give a Christmas gift, and you are just waiting for them to peel off the wrapping. I'd hate for anything I say to ruin something in the future.
Second of all, you are completely correct. Having them all love him IS too perfect. A few other commenters have pointed that out as well, but I didn't say anything. I didn't do a good job at explaining it, but let me shine a little light.
I don't intend the Anon in each story to be the same as in all the others. The exception to this is the one that is shared in Lyra, Octavia, and Trixie's story. That one was reused on purpose to add meaning to Lyra's story.
Because as other commenters mentioned, if Anon did this, he would be a TOTAL man whore. I don't think there could be any way for the ponies NOT to find out about other mares liking him. Element of Honesty, anyone?
Under this light, hopefully it is now more understanding why Anon is nurturing each mare's affection for him. There isn't really a good way for this to be explained to the reader, since this story is a collection of smaller, independent stories. That's completely my bad.
To be honest, I never considered seeing the ponies sending MORE letters to Anon after the ones that had currently been 'sent'. That's a really great idea. One that might even be worth looking into if I decide to add more content to this. Seeing their progression of working through the seven stages of grief could be great.
If I did do any in the future, it would be Celestia as a motherly figure, Mr. Cake as a father figure, or Spike as a brotherly figure.
Because I agree, The romance aspect of this idea can only be done so much before it becomes... well. Worn out. It needs to remain special.
So there you go my friend. Hopefully this was a good answer for you, and any other future readers.
So lets lets recap...He broke the hearts of all the mane six ponies, three of which we know for sure had a crush on him. then he turned Lyra into an obsessed stalker, before breaking Trixies heart as well. Next, he went and made redheart smile again only to send her into a depression by going without saying goodbye to her and finally he destroyed the marriage of Cadance and Shining by making her realize that her marriage was failing and even rising her hopes of being together with her after they get divorced when Cadance was supposed to help Twilight win him over cause she knew Twilight had a huge crush on him...
What a nice guy
5186426 Wow thanks for the response, and valuing my opinion as a reader
Thank you for clarifying. I saw great potential in your story and felt compelled to give positive criticism. I felt like you were earnestly trying to write a good story and I couldn't stand to see it fall due to 'perfect' characterization. Its a trap I fell for as a young writer and I try to help others recognize the effect of such a characters.
5187289 I think it was discord in disguise.
5193541 wouldnt surprise me^^ lol^^
5187289 That, or autistic. Shit, I would kill to be in his position...
5196438 To just go there and have cadance to yourself whenever you want?^^
5196694 You and I think alike :D
5197892 hehehehe^^
I did get the impression that most of these stories were supposed to be their own self-contained scenarios (with the Lyra-Octavia-Trixie exception, of course.) A few grammar errors here and there, but pretty solid on the whole.
Boy, you know how to tug the heartstrings, amigo. Especially the Trixie one, that was heartbreaking. I tip my hat to you, good sir.
I really want to see a sequel to this. Some sort of continuation where Anon gets brought back.
Instead of doing a sequel to this, you should do an epilogue that tells what happened to anon.
This chapter is kinda a pisser considering with my friend group i'm shining and my gf is Cadence...other than depression this is a good chapter
5239759
Man, a few years ago I could have seen myself posting this exact same comment. I'm happy to hear you thought the chapter was good.
Tell ya what, if you don't mind a mature story with an intimate scene, I have a teen Cadence romance story called Trapped that you might like. It takes place pre-Shining.
Cheers, my Friend.
I think Ditzy Do(o?) and the one (Or more) of the CMC (Scootaloo maybe, depending on how you see her family situation since it never get's specified in the show other than the fact that she doesn't live on the street) would make a good Chapter.
5202073 Not sure that'd be a good idea; sounds like a good idea yes, but then you have to remember most of the ponies who wrote these letters have crushes on him.
5282824 HAREM!
5282962 i.imgur.com/huD0lcE.gif
5181667
This was really good. A tight, strictly defined theme, straightforward execution and no self-indulgent meandering. Right to the point and then done. Very good and very unique.
This some deep stuff that really makes you think about your relationship. I like it
Unbeknownst to cadence shining armor was also wide awake that night. Staring at an empty parchment and trying to pour his poor soul into the words he wished to write. He found his heart plauged with longing...
---
Meanwhile back on earth
Anon -
Classic douchebagerry, lol. no mare is safe from the sexy charms of anon.
Joking aside i really loved this story of yours. It's a good read. I know i'm not the only one who want's too have a sequel for the sake of closure. The Trixie part was the best. The story as a whole 8/10.