Pinkie knows that being a baker means taking a lot of responsibility for your product. The bread has to rise with Celestia. Nopony needs to go through Round Two on the Baked Bads. And if at all possible, you should absolutely avoid serving the kind of 'donuts' which summon an eldritch horror from beyond space and time to destroy the world.

The Cakes keep slipping up on that last part. Not deliberately, at least in that they don't know they're doing it -- but somepony still has to clean up the tentacled mess, and do it by the time Sun is raised. Which is going to be Pinkie. Again.

Break out the caffeine. It's going to be a long night.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for Cthulhu Crackfic.

An art critic reviews the art of Canterlot Castle.

He has... opinions. One of them is more concerning to Princess Celestia than the others.

Written for the A Thousand Words Contest II, where it took an Honorable Mention in the Comedy category!

Featured 6/15/2023 - 6/19/2023!

Appearing on Equestria Daily on 6/18/2023, as well as in their 25 of the Best Fanfics for Celestia Day on 6/20/2023!

Reviewed by Loganberry in the blog Louder Yay!, earning a three out of five stars rating!

Reviewed by PresentPerfect to earn a rating of Highly Recommended!

Now with an audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

And another one by Pony & Wolf Productions!

Even for a superfan like Rainbow, there are things you don't learn about the Wonderbolts until you become the newest part of the squad. Like how the view from the back of the formation never really changes, or that the slipstream carries a few unwelcome scents to the rear position. Or laundry. Nopony told her that the new mare was going to be responsible for doing the laundry. And the whole wash/dry process is just boring.

There's got to be a way to make laundry more interesting. Surely she can make an impression on Spitfire if she just... stunts it up.

Rainbow always makes an impression on ponies. And the landscape. A few windows. The occasional building...

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

With proper care, thought, and some attention given to what the recipient might actually want, just about anypony could purchase a well-planned Hearts & Hooves Day gift. But to make it work when you're down to the last few hours, after having indulged in none of the previous requirements to the point where ignorance has become its very own art...

...well, to find the perfect gift under those circumstances would take a very special pony indeed.

And if Rainbow's anything, she's special.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Being somepony's friend can require accepting the... quirkier parts of their personality: something Rarity is all too aware of, especially when it comes to the work involved in accepting hers. So discovering that Fluttershy possesses -- shall we say, a 'special interest' -- simply means that the designer needs to accompany her to the convention. Just to make sure the pegasus isn't going to get hurt.

But a mare of dignity and taste does not casually wander into a 'special interest' gathering and emerge unaffected. And as it happens, neither does Rarity.

Rated C for Conifer Crackfic.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Twilight insists on lending Rarity a trashy risqué book. Rarity really wishes she’d turned it down.

Gift fic for RBDash47 who also did the cover art!

You can also read this story and others on my personal website! c:

[tipjar!]

Every town has its secrets, and Ponyville is no different. There are tales of a mysterious Party Pony, one who sneaks into houses and leaves cake for ponies’ birthdays. 

But nopony knows the truth.

She’s real. 

And she’s a lot friendlier than even the rumors say.

Written for the Choices contest.

The birth of cinema created multiple additional industries, along with inspiring a fleet of new marks. In particular, there's a need for sound design, and Foley Artist stands ready to bring the natural beats of the outside world into the enclosed studios. And when a recording session for Canterlot's streets just happens to record the most distinctive scream ever... well, what kind of pony would Foley be if he didn't share it with the entire planet? After all, sound belongs to the people.

To the people. Not to a person. That would just be silly.

But that scream has a source. A fast-approaching, very unhappy source. And she has so many more sounds to share...

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Art from a vector capture by AJDiSpirito. Title suggested by Sanguine Potato.

There are certain issues involved with having Philomena as a pet. Giving the entire palace staff permission to take a swat at the bird if it tries anything? Has solved none of them. The phoenix is still trolling everypony, happily setting off pony tempers (and the occasional fire alarm) without a care in the world. The swats just aren't working.

Maybe a few murders will do the trick.

...or, given that it's Philomena, Celestia might have to go just a little further.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for Crackfic.

The real reason Twilight and Moondancer had a sudden falling out.

Written for Telly Vision for Jinglemas 2021

It now has an audio reading!