Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

Sometimes it's not a matter of being the best mare for the job. Sometimes you're just the only one left. That's how a pegasus with no internal compass has been saddled with guiding back migratory birds for the last three Winter Wrap-Ups. Surely this year, Twilight Sparkle will see reason, right?

Right?

A long-delayed entry in Estee's technically open TEMPorary Insanity contest. Graciously preread by themaskedferret.

It's a week after Nightmare Night, and the dead have risen. Zombies, ghosts and skeletons walk Ponyville's streets. It would be pretty terrifying, except for the fact that they're so nice. Also, they don't seem to realize they're dead.

But not everypony is happy with their new undead neighbors. Rainbow Dash is a little freaked out, Twilight Sparkle is on trial for murdering a skeleton, and Rarity conspires against her ghostly business partner. Will our heroes be able to keep up in a world where busy ponies don't have time to let death slow them down?

As with every living creature, once every year, Princess Celestia has a day that commemorates the anniversary of her birth. Given that she is blessed with many wonderful friends and family members, she receives many gifts on her birthday. Some she likes more than others, while some are rather odd.

On this one thousand seven hundred and nineteenth birthday of hers, she receives a large stuffed squid plushie.

She is perplexed.

Discord has a problem. He has a tendency to not think through his actions all that well, poor impulse control, and no ability to figure out how others will feel about what he does. Even with a friend helping him, sooner or later he's going to do something that'll get him stoned or hit with a reforming spell or whatnot. So what's he to do? Ask the smartest pony in Equestria for a solution, of course!

He probably wasn't expecting to get "Have Celestia let you rule Equestria again" for a response.

No one else was probably expecting to enjoy it.

Now with a reading by Crafty Arts!
And a Spanish translation!

If Zap apples make such phenomenal jam, why aren’t they used for the Apple family’s other famed delicacy: cider? Apple Bloom wants to know, and dooms all of Ponyville into finding out.

Featured on Equestria Daily
Pre-read by bookplayer

Top three reasons to always use hair conditioner:

1. Soothes hair cuticles for shinier-looking hair.
2. Strengthens the hair shaft and protects against breakage.
3. A unicorn will come and totally chew you out if you don't.

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Discord still has a lot to learn about friendship. Spending some one-on-one time with each of his new friends is helping. If only they wouldn’t get so upset about being turned into fruit or having their hair eaten.

What’s that? Make my life a living nightmare? Foolish pink pony! I’m Discord, the Lord of Chaos. What could a simple pony like you possibly do to me?

Inspired by the art of the ever so talented Madacon and a conversation with the stories editor Tired Old Man.

In this day and age, who has time to be a God? Prayers come in 24/7 and fancy dress is compulsory. Rainbow Dash certainly doesn't have time. She's got bills to pay and things to do. Besides, she isn't qualified for Godhood, surely.

The ponies who say her control of the weather is divine disagree, unfortunately. They've given her a funny spear and a robe that doesn't quite fit. They've got their own temple and they take church seriously.

And it turns out she's not the only pony recently undergone apotheosis...

Teen for immature jokes.

Princess Cadance, just like everypony else, needs some time of leisure from her many duties. While Shining Armor is taking care of their daughter, Cadance enjoys her lone trips to the nearby Nephrite Forest, where she can be away from all of her burdens and obligations for at least a short while.

She was simply destined to get mugged eventually, wasn’t she? Why not by somepony who takes his job very seriously.

Also available in Mandarin Chinese (translation by keplebletbett) and Spanish (translation by SPANIARD KIWI).