The One Where Pinkie Gets Even
Chapter 3: Nowheresverse
Well, things were off to a fantastic start. The giant ‘whirring’ chainsaw made the zeppelin incredibly uneven and the hockey mask made it front-heavy. Yet the rockets propelled it forward at a swift speed which turned the whole thing into a quick, but somehow also lumbering, sky beast. The orchestra was in near complete disarray, producing a discorded sound of panicked yelps, attempts to play the violin or flute with the odd ‘blat’ of a trombone. Only a single gray earth pony mare with a treble clef cutie mark and pink bowtie continued to play the cello almost as if everypony wasn’t on a zeppelin that had now caught fire from the rockets and was speeding towards a populated city.
Such a professional, that one. Discord mused as he watched the chaos he had created with a profound sense of satisfaction.
He looked up at the ever-approaching Ponyville. Sugarcube corner? Hmmmmm… No… That’s upping things too quickly… So far this is a harmless prank war of stepping on pies or small fireworks and hair-eating… I should park out of the way and maybe just fill Pinkie’s lungs with taffy when I see her next. Besides, I don’t think Twilight would quite forgive me for the Equineity of a fiery blimp crash that killed many ponies.
Discord glanced down the side of the blimp, waiting for a violent tilt to make the gondola full of orchestra ponies visible. With a series of yelps and the frantic sound of ponies trying to play their instruments, a pile of the ponies soon appeared. Discord snapped his fingers equipping each pony with a bike helmet, elbow and knee pads, and instructions of what to do in case a Boeing 747 was about to crash.
There, that ought to do it.
Discord looked forward. Let’s see… if I maintain current trajectory I should land fiery and loudly on… the school.
Discord frowned, he’d never hear the end of that one, and when you’re immortal and live with other immortals ‘never’ could very well mean ‘never’.
He clapped his lion paw and talon together, producing a small joystick on a squashed-square platform with a single red button in the corner. He quickly pulled the joystick to the right, pitching the zeppelin away from the school. There was a ‘snap’ as the tethers holding the giant chainsaw in place broke from the sudden movement.
‘CRASH!’
“OH, COME ON!”
Discord peered over the side, seeing he had successfully added the massive chainsaw to the very center of Ponyville Schoolhouse’s playground. Even now the chainsaw still motored, flinging bits of monkey bar and slide in all directions! What fun.
Why, some pink filly with a purple-and-white mane was there, likely in awe of the wonderful new addition.
“You’re welcome, young pony!” Discord shouted down.
“I WILL FIGURE OUT A WAY TO BUY YOU AND SELL YOU TO A CIRCUS!” came the response from below.
Wow! So delighted was this child, she wanted to send Discord to the circus. Discord felt something like pride well up inside him… or perhaps it was just the vibrations the zeppelin was making as it was shaken apart and all the combined screams of the ponies in it. Either way, the clock tower was about to have a very bad day in 3…
2…
‘KABOOOOOOOOOM!’
1!
Discord was on the ground in an instant, wearing a navy-blue pillbox hat with a gold emblem, a similarly-colored uniform with a small pair of gold wings pinned just over where his heart would be if it would only stop sneaking off when he wasn’t looking, and a matching skirt that went just below his knees.
He reached up and pulled out a half-melted intercom out of the flaming gasbag and bent structure that was starting to sag closer and closer to the ground.
“Welcome to Ponyville, ehhhhhhh... Local time is 12:42 PM,” He said as ponies screamed and galloped about as they saved their instruments and themselves before running off into town. “Ehhhhhhhhhh… We’d like to thank you for flying Air Discord. We know you don’t have any options when it comes to being teleported against your will, but we thank you for being such good sports about it.”
The giant hockey mask suddenly broke free of the wreckage, its massive strap most likely burnt or melted by now. It rolled along its edge down a hill, landing inside a pond and sending a miniature tidal wave in all directions that soaked trees, ponies, and everything in the immediate area.
Discord continued talking into his intercom, the cord which attached it to the rest of the zeppelin having melted off completely at this point, “Ehhhhhhhhh… The contents of the overhead bins might have shifted or caught fire during the flight, yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah… Please remember Air Discord the next time you don’t have a choice about flying and don’t hesitate to suggest a good ‘ol engine fire to keep things interesting if you somehow choose to fly with somepony else. Ta-ta!”
The gray earth pony cello player calmly walked by on all fours, carrying a large cello case on her back and helmet, knee and elbow pads still strapped on. Discord placed the intercom back in the melting structure which suddenly collapsed, violently sending a shower of twisted and burning metal in all directions.
The mare continued walking, only adjusting her cello case as a piece of rubble banged into it, knocking it out of position slightly.
“Just a second,” Discord said to the mare.
The mare stopped, not bothering to turn as Discord floated up to her and presented her with a small pair of golden wings. “The captain wants to thank you for being such a good junior flier today.”
The mare took the wings in a forehoof, and shifted so her cello case slid off her body. She caught it and gently placed it on the ground, opening it and placing the wings inside it before closing it again. “Ta,” she said simply as she put the case back on her back and continued trotting to Ponyville.
Discord waved.
A light-green pegasus holding a French horn… Wait… do ponies call them French horns? Do they have some stupid horse name for them? Anyhow… A light-green pegasus with a fiery-colored mane of fire holding a… twisty horn ran past Discord and fell into a roll as he descended a hill towards Ponyville. The roll caused the pony to go bald… or rather put out the fire that engulfed the pony’s head.
Discord squinted slightly.
Bald… bald… Right! Pinkie Pie! I need to… need to…
Discord had the sinking feeling he was being watched. Which was strange, as he could usually tell when he was being watched by simply taking stock of whatever molecules that composed eyes were facing him.
This was different… a sort of unnerving sense that caused the hairs on the back of his neck-body to stand up straighter than usual.
Discord moved his head from side to side. Nopony around except those trotting, galloping, or crawling away from the burning wreckage.
Discord moved his head from front to back only to see more of the same. He moved his head from down to u— Discord flinched slightly as he looked up. Somehow the clouds in the sky all resembled ponies. Ponies that seemed to be staring down at him… ponies without manes, yet a fluffy tai…
Discord scowled, bent down so his skirt touched the ground, and lifted it up over his head. His outfit was replaced with brown boots, light-brown pants, a brown hunter’s coat, and a large brown-and-red hunting hat. He then unrumpled his stewardess outfit revealing a shotgun. Dropping the navy-blue outfit which collected into a watery puddle at his feet, Discord pointed his shotgun straight at the sky and opened fire.
One by one, shot by shot, the clouds fell to the ground almost as if Discord was shooting birds out of the sky. Soon, the parts of the ground that weren’t still on fire were covered in a thick, hazy, vaguely pony shaped fog.
“WHAT THE HECK?!” came a familiar cry of frustration quickly followed by a rainbow-colored dash which zoomed down towards the ground in front of Discord.
The light-blue pony that owned both the voice and the dash glowered up at Discord.
“What, they looked at me funny,” Discord said as he began polishing his shotgun.
“They’re clouds!” Rainbow Dash said in irritation.
“Wow! Racist much?”
“I’m not being racist!” Rainbow Dash answered indignantly. “You can’t be racist against clouds!”
“That’s exactly what a racist would say! Racist!”
Rainbow pulled up her lip and glared at Discord as her entire head vibrated with anger. Watching the blood slosh around in her noggin was definitely a sight-beyond-sight to behold. “Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take me to get these back in the sky?!”
“See!” Discord said. With a flick of his wrist his gun turned into a sponge he used to scrub off the outfit he was wearing. “Now you’re saying clouds are lay-about, do nothings! Just… wow…. I can’t believe one of the Elements of Harmony is a racist.”
“I AM NOT A RACIST!” Rainbow Dash screamed.
“Again, something a racist would say,” Discord said as sat the sponge down and gave it a pat on the back. The sponge ran off, yipping all the way.
Rainbow Dash let out a series of rage-filled growls and incomprehensible sounds in response.
“I’d love to sit here and play cave-pony with you, but I really must find Pinkie Pie, so if you could be a dear and—”
“GRaaargagaphaaaa buuuuuuuSUGARCUBEuuuuuuuuk yoooooooooCORNERuuuuuu blllllrgghghgghPROBABLYergrgcchchhchchc…”
“Hmmmm… I don’t think that’s a real place,” Discord said. He shrugged. “I’ll just check Sugarcube Corner, thanks.”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Rainbow Dash’s scream followed Discord all the way down to Ponyville, until…
“DISCORD!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “YOU PUT THESE CLOUDS BACK IN THE SKY RIGHT NOW, OR I’M TELLING TWILIGHT WHAT A HORSE APPLE-HEA—”
Discord snapped his finger and suddenly hundreds of colorful balloons all tied to the clouds appeared. The clouds ascended back towards the heavens at a rapid pace.
“Wha…!” Rainbow Dash cried out as she was suddenly lifted upwards.
Discord walked slowly and deliberately through Ponyville, casting a wary eye in front of him to check for horns, pies, or any other surprises he might step in. As he reached his eye, he’d bend down, pick it up, and cast it again. He grabbed a brown cloth sign that read ‘Lab Supplies and Carpet Emporium’ in white lettering and wrapped it around himself, a wide brimmed cowboy hat appearing as he did. His spurs jingled with each step of his cowboy boots as he spotted Sugarcube corner.
He narrowed his eyes at the offending building. Inside was a pink pony who would pay for—
Discord caught something pink out of the corner of his eye. He turned, drawing the canisters of silly-string holstered on on his hips and sprayed.
The window he hit glared at with its new neon green eyes from above its equally new neon-blue mustache.
He caught something pink out of the corner of his eye again. He turned, fired, and was treated to a dayglow red-and-orange pout from another window.
How is she…
THERE!
Discord turned and emptied the contents of his canisters into a puddle which suddenly looked at him with a grumpy and soggy pile of multicolored silly string.
Discord sneered and closed his eyes. He reached out with his senses. There’s no way Pinkie could hide from him…
…There… There she was… but… but… somehow barely … Like she existed in the very furthest corner of reality itself.
Discord’s eyes shot open.
… How?
… How?!
What… is she…?
…
Discord would just have to ask her directly.
With a snap of his talon, Discord found himself in a realm very different from Equestria and very different from his own. There was no ground, no sky, no substance… just… just… black-and-white static that seemed to go on forever in all directions.
For the first time in what seemed like a millennium, Discord felt fear and some degree of detachment from his sense of self. He raised his hands in front of his face to confirm he was still here and went through the physical trouble of breathing a sigh of relief, happy with his choices to pick a corporeal form.
“Heya, Discord!”
Discord looked up… at least… ‘up’ in relationship to his feet and head. Still mane-less, Pinkie pie swam through the nothingness… doing a backstroke with a relaxed expression on her face as if this was the most natural place in all existence.
A startling thought occurred to Discord that maybe it was.
For a brief, uncharacteristic moment, Discord found himself at a loss for words. “What… How… How are you—” Discord paused, unsure the word he was about to use even applied at this point “—here?”
Pinkie giggled. “Silly Discord, I am everywhere und nowhere!” she answered, invoking a creepy German accent for some reason.
Wait… Do ponies call it Germany? Hrmmm… They probably have some stupid horse name based on Duetschland, or something. I should—
Discord’s thoughts were cut off by another giggle. “Watcha thinking ‘bout?”
Discord looked up at Pinkie. “Do ponies say ‘Germany’, or do they have a different word for it?”
Pinkie pursed her lips and gave Discord a thoughtful look. “I don’t know. What’sa Germany?”
Discord lowered his head and shook it. “I thought as much…” His head came up, fire in his face that was clearly visible from behind his eyes. “Look, you troublesome pink prat, I—”
“What’sa ‘prat’?”
“Oh! Well it’s another word for ‘flank’ or ‘behind’, You know, a— I don’t need to explain this to you! I came for revenge!”
Pinkie narrowed her eyes and swam closer to Discord. “Revenge?! I’m the one who’s out a mane in case you’ve forgotten!” Pinkie said, pointing to the top of her head with a forehoof.
“Oh, right. That,” Discord said. He produced the mess of cardboard, tape, glue, and pink glitter. “I made you a new one.”
Pinkie gasped and grabbed hold of the cardboard ‘wig’ with both hooves. “Glitter!” she said excitedly.
Discord chuckled. “I knew you’d like it.”
“Like it?! I love it!” Pinkie announced in a high-pitched squee. She placed her new ‘hair’ on her head. “How do I look? Sparkly? Spectacular? Spectacularly Sparkly?” Pinkie began to hop up and down… relative to her positionless position, anyhow. “Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Let’s go back and get a mirr—HEY!” Pinkie interrupted herself angrily.
“Oh, what is it now?”
“I’m still peeved at you!”
“Oh right,” Discord said, “and I at you.”
“You know,” Pinkie began, a trace of irritation still in her voice, “I wouldn’t be so darn mad if you actually felt sorry for anything you’ve done.”
“Sowwrry?” Discord practically choked out as if he just said a word with a very foreign pronunciation. “Oh, please,” he continued with a dismissive wave. “The things I’ve done to you ponies are harmless trifles at best. You all just blow them out of proportion. What do I possibly have to be sorry for?”
“Hmmmm,” Pinkie replied in a flippant tone. “I guess you only feel sorry when you’re the one being hurt or betrayed.”
Memories of Tirek hit Discord like a space train that was being propelled through hyperspace with a warp drive.
If words could cut, Discord would have found himself a pile of disconnected limbs, body sections, and a head. As it so happened, whether words actually could cut in this place or Pinkie’s words simply affected him that deeply, Discord did fall apart into many pieces and began floating about.
Discord’s head rotated amongst the static filled nothingness to face Pinkie. “But… But… That’s not…”
Pinkie simply narrowed her eyes. “Face it! You still don’t have the first clue about friendship. You’re still just doing what you want, when you want to, and faking the rest when you feel you have to!”
Discord swallowed hard, a lump traveled down his throat and through his disconnected body. Pinkie’s words reverberated through his skull… no… his entire being. Permeating through him and seeping into every molecule of his body because…
… because…
…maybe…
… just maybe…
… they were true.
…
No.
NO!
N-O-EXCLAMATION MARK
I will not be lectured by a pony who makes friends with rocks and turnips when she thinks she’s been abandoned.
Discord suddenly snapped back into his whole Draconequus form in front of Pinkie. Positioning his feet level with her own as best he could and glowering down at her to emphasize the full difference in their heights. He pointed down at her with his lion paw. “Now you listen directly to me you insipid, insignificant little pony! You’ve got some power beyond other ponies’ comprehension, I’ll give you that, but you are still nothing compared to me! You are a mere blink in the grand scheme of things. Just another pony who will be lost in time.” Discord smiled wickedly. “You’re just a tear in the rain, Pinkie Pie.”
Discord waited. Waited for Pinkie to explode with ineffectual rage. Waited for her to start shrieking at him. Just another pony raging against their own mortality.
To his surprise, Pinkie sighed sadly and hung her head.
“Oh, Discord…” She said in a melancholy tone. “You really don’t understand. Maybe… maybe you just can’t…” She looked up with an almost heartbroken look on her face. “I’m sorry, Discord… I really am.”
‘So… sorry’?!
‘Ca… CAN’T UNDERSTAND’?! I AM THE LORD OF CHAOS! I CAN SEE THE ESSENCE OF MAGIC ITSELF AND HAVE TRAVELED TO COUNTLESS DIMENSIONS AND WORLDS!
HOW
DARE
SHE?!
Discord glared at Pinkie with a look beyond anger. Beyond blind, seething hatred. He would hit her where it hurt the most. He would teach her that there are things in this world you just don’t aggravate and that he was at the very top of the list.
Discord thought for a moment…
… smiled inwardly…
… closed his eyes …
… snapped his talon …
… and smiled outwardly.
“Gummy is with the cake twins,” Discord said with grin so wicked it would make a demon blush.
Pinkie looked up in confusion. “Yeah? So…?”
Somehow Discord’s grin widened, both physically and in a manner that somehow seemed to dip into a dimension of pure malevolent joy. “I gave him teeth.”
Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Celestia, no…” she murmured.
Suddenly the static world seemed to fade away, or rather, the real world began fade in. It was not as if Pinkie or Discord were returning to reality, but rather as if reality was rushing back to meet them. Both were suddenly in Sugarcube Corner’s main room, surrounded by cakes and various confectionaries.
“Pi-Pinkie?”
Discord and Pinkie turned. Mrs. Cake stared at them from behind the counter as if she couldn’t believe her eyes. Trying to regain her composure, she added, “I didn’t know you were bringing—” Mrs. Cake eyed Discord wearily. “—A gues—”
Pinkie moved with such a speed she practically teleported on top of the bakery counter directly in front of Mrs. Cake, “Ta-TWINS! WHERE?!”
Mrs. Cake leaned back, surprise and concern written across her face. She pointed past Pinkie. “They’re just right over there, playing with Gum-”
The alligator was in Pinkie’s hooves in an instant. She caught a flash of something white in Gummy’s mouth and quickly looked downward, panic having set up shop in every fiber of the ponies being.
“Hehehe!”
“Pa-Pwinkie!”
Pinkie let out the longest, loudest sigh of relief she ever had in her life. The twins were fine and merely clambered about her as if was playtime with her once again.
Pinkie looked back up, holding Gummy out for her to see. His almost perfectly square set of teeth chattered rhythmically as a tiny white knob turned slowly.
Pinkie turned and immediately attempted to disintegrate Discord with her vision, which meant it was a good thing for Discord that Pinkie wasn’t actually him, otherwise she would have succeeded.
Discord’s beyond-archdemon grin simply remained. “Good joke, no?”
“Good joke, no,” Pinkie emphasized. She pulled the fake plastic teeth out of Gummy’s mouth and set the toothless alligator down, holding the teeth up in a forehoof. “How could you just toy with somepony’s emotions like—”
‘BOOM!’
“AH!” Mrs. Cake cried out in shock and alarm as the teeth in Pinkie’s hoof exploded.
“AHHH!”
“WHAA!”
Pound Cake zipped over to his mother, throwing himself into her waiting forelegs as Pumpkin Cake dashed around the bakery counter and leaped up to join her brother.
Discord remained motionless, same grin on his face.
Pinkie’s head from eyes up had been blasted black by the explosion, while her muzzle to her neck had been blasted white.
She turned.
The Cake twins screamed.
Mrs. Cake flinched and turned, shielding the twins from the sight in front of them as she tried to calm her children.
Discord chuckled and shook his head. “What a positively nightmarish look you’ve discovered.”
The teeth from the toy had perfectly arranged themselves around Pinkie’s closed and blackened eyelids making it look like she had two extra sets of mouths where her eyes should be.
She slowly reached up and began picking the teeth out of her eyes.
Discord felt his brow tighten. He assumed Pinkie would be livid even, if by some miracle, she maintained external composure. However, she seemed perfectly calm both externally and internally.
By the time the final tooth was removed, the Cakes had been calmed. In fact, the room was now eerily quiet, as if even the tiny foals could sense the tension of a pot about ready to boil over and cover everyone in the vicinity with scalding hot liquid.
Pinkie turned towards and Discord and opened her eyes. “Of course you know, this means war.”
Discord chortled. “Oh please, am I going to step on more pies? A firecracker this time? Oooo! Maybe a pie filled with firecrackers!”
In a cool, measured tone, Pinkie replied, “I will reach out to that what you hold most dear and destroy it.”
Discord smiled, but it was a smile of pure disbelief. “Really? You really think you’re capable of something like that?”
Slowly, a grin crept onto Pinkie’s face. A grin that would have put Discord’s own beaming evil smile to shame. “I know I am… And the best part is… you won’t see it coming...” She giggled.
The twins whimpered.
Mrs. Cake swallowed. “I’m… I’m just going to take the twins out for a walk…” Mrs. Cake put the twins on her back and began trotting towards the front door. The trot soon turned into a gallop as Mrs. Cake found herself rushing for the door with a speed she hadn’t thought herself capable of for many years. The door slammed shut behind her.
Pinkie continued, “You see… It’s something so precious to you… so close to you… You’ve never thought for one second… for one instant it could be taken away” –Pinkie’s eyes widened with a madness beyond anything Discord had witnessed in a pony in all his uncountable years –“but it can!”
Discord’s smile disappeared. He was no longer amused. He was once again, just angry. “You pathetic pink pony, you really think—”
“DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRD!”
Discord and Pinkie turned as the bakery door flew open revealing Twilight Sparkle, currently the very picture of outrage. Her wings had been extended to their full span and she locked vein, red tractor beam-like eyes on Discord. “WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?!”
Discord sighed. “Looks like I have some ‘splaining to do.”
Twilight continued, “THE CLOCK TOWER IS ON FIRE, THERE-THERE’S A GIANT HOCKEY MASK IN THE SWIMMING POND, THERE’S A GIANT BUCKIN’ CHAINSAW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SCHOOLHOUSE’S NEW PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT, AND ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE TO ARRANGE TRANSPORTATION FOR MEMBERS OF THE CANTERLOT ROYAL ORCHESTRA!”
Discord blew a dismissive gust of air. “You say that last one as if every instance of that happening was somehow my fault.”
Twilight grit her teeth. “WHAT ABOUT THE CHAINSAW?!”
Discord shrugged. “I thought you ponies liked to play on giant chainsaws! Clearly there’s been a miscommunication!”
Twilight’s entire body began to quake with rage. “MIS-MIS-MISCOMMUNICATION?!”
Discord snapped his fingers and was suddenly wearing black robes with a red trim, a matching black cape, and a big red feathered turban. He raised an envelope to his head. “Who is a shoe-in for most-well-spoken at this year’s Ms. Equestria?”
Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle at that one.
Twilight turned to shoot a quick glare at Pinkie before turning back towards Discord. Her eyes widened and she suddenly turned back to Pinkie with a concerned look. “Pinkie! What happened to your mane?! What happened to your face?!”
Pinkie quickly reached behind her, producing the cardboard ‘hair’ Discord had made for her. She placed it on her head. “Nothing!” she said quickly.
Twilight raised an eyebrow, her vision lingering on Pinkie’s black-from-the-eyes-up, white-from-the-muzzle-down look. “That doesn’t explain your…” Twilight let out a frustrated “Ugh!” and turned to Discord. “You have to help me fix this.”
Discord gave Twilight a sort of innocent pout and slithered over to her, itching her chin with his eagle talon. “Oh but Princess Twilight, I thought me helping you would make ponies overly reliant on my powers when things got rough.”
Twilight slapped Discord’s talon away, meeting his innocent look with an accusing glare. “That was with the damage Tirek caused! You did all of this!”
Discord stood upright, letting his shoulders slump forward. “Oh, poo… Cleanup duty.” He said summoning a maid’s outfit, mop, and bucket. “I do so hate tidying up.”
Twilight reared up on her hind legs and began pushing Discord towards the door. “Yeah, yeah. I don’t care if you complain. Just fix the messes you caused!”
“Oh, if I must,” Discord answered as he was pushed outside. As Twilight pushed him forward, Discord quickly stretched the top portion of his body back into the bakery. He produced a stuffed effigy of Pinkie’s head, sans mane, and did a throat slitting motion across his neck. “Metaphor,” he said threateningly.
Pinkie reached behind her and suddenly brought a can of spray whipped cream up to her face. She shook it and sprayed it all over her currently white mouth. Her muzzle now covered in whipped cream she stared back at Discord with sky-blue eyes still surrounded by blackened hair. “Witness me!” she hissed out as she leveled a forehoof at Discord.
Discord grinned to himself and unstretched so he was now walking alongside Twilight.
Twilight looked up and gave Discord an inquisitive look. “What was that all about?”
Discord shrugged. “Just a little game Pinkie and I are playing.”
Twilight looked at Discord and blinked. Her face lit up. “Really? You two are actually getting along?!” she asked excitedly. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re finally starting to learn more about friendship!”
Despite being miles away, rolling around and filth somewhere, Discord felt a brief, sharp pang in his heart.
He ignored it.
“Oh my dear Princess Twilight Sparkle, you have no idea…”