Hi, my name is Ditzy Doo. Many of you know me as the author of the 'Wasteland Survival Guide'. For 200 years I wandered the Equestrian Wasteland, and through those experiences I gained the knowledge that I shared with everypony through the Guide. Now, it's time to tell my side of the story.

Cozy Glow's mother and father return from a long trip just before Twilight's coronation, and are understandably unhappy at being parents to a statue. Where have they been all this time, though? And how did their daughter turn out the way she did?

A complete redo of a fic I briefly started before deleting, this time featuring extra character development, a more coherent plot and less irritating narration. I hope this is a marked improvement on the original, because I really like this idea and want to explore it more.

Featured from 6/9/20 to 8/9/20

Picture credit MelSpyRose on Deviant Art

A large corporation in Manehattan hires you to fulfill the Diversity and Inclusion goals and reach the target numbers on the key metrics such as the absence of gender and racial bias. They specialize in customized spell solutions, distributed enchantment systems and cloud mana storage: three things that you, a human, didn't know even exist.

To their surprise, you are not entirely useless.

This is an RGRE (Reversed Gender Roles Equestria) story. You were warned.

Huge thanks to Vayne Hellslinger and SirReal for helping me to make this stuff more readable.

In the magical land of Equestria, there are no ponies.
In the sleepy town of Ponyville, there are no ponies.
In the glittering Castle of Friendship, there are no ponies.

So who are all these colorful quadrupeds?

Today I did not wake up in a place I recognize. Not that I can remember how I got here. Where even is here? A castle of crystals in a magical world of pastel-colored talking horses. It's like a dream, only I'm also a wearied, mutant bug monster.

What in the world is a changeling? Oh, and what is that about a war we're apparently responsible for? This looks like it's shaping up to be a hell of a new day, at least, if I don't get squashed like a bug before it can even start.

Featured: 2/5/19

Edited and pre-read by: Emtu and Indigo_Celeste

Thanks to all the pre-readers that helped reorganize the first few chapters:
TheOneWithoutAName, TheClassyLeviathan and Mind Jack

Cover art by: KlaraPL

When Twilight Sparkle was four years old, her mother bought her a tombstone.

Dedicated to Regidar. They're a real one.

Edited by MrNumbers and R5h.

Chinese translation by Hehelover

Russian translation by Repitter.

Patreon. Ko-fi. Picture of me looking handsome

Fillies don't usually go to Tartarus.

Celestia didn't want there to be an exception.

But Cozy Glow wouldn't let Celestia be merciful, no matter how hard she tried.

Edit: Featured 2/15/2019! HOLY FREAKIN' HECKITY MY FIRST FEATURE!!

After the current ruler of Tartarus steps down, Princess Celestia and Luna are tasked with finding the very best replacement possible.

Sadly, that's not exactly who shows up to apply.

Artwork by Evilbob0.

Magic is bleeding out of Equestria and into another realm, a realm where magic does not exist. Twilight must stop the flow of magic before disaster strikes. Can the natives of this realm be of help? How do sapient beings function without magic anyway? What's this about a cartoon?

Takes place shortly after season four.

Luna discovers a vast and ancient being approaching Equus. When she and Celestia go to meet it, they see into the early dawn and eternal twilight of their universe.

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Based off of a thought/realization I had in my studies.

_{Illustration "Black Islands" used under creative commons share-alike, which the artist (Equestria-Prevails) put all of his art under.}