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An entry to Admiral Biscuit's not-a-contest for ponies with day jobs on Earth.

Now with an audio reading from StraightToThePointStudios! Big thanks!

Edit:
Wow! Hit number one in the feature box while still number one in the new column! (Achievement unlocked?) Thanks for the comments and the votes, everyone, I love you!

Our lovably grim Max Payne is sent on a one-way journey to Equestria via bullet express.

Pretty sure I can't fill it with metaphors like Max would, but I can sure as hay try!
Rated teen for light violence, swearing and alcohol/drug use. Occasionally dark.

A (hopefully) more comedic, lighter outlook on: Payne-full Realization -who beat me to it!

Okay, it is very psychologically dark! This is Max we're talking about.

Roger, local human, is weird, or at least is weird in Rainbow Dash's estimation, but he does appear to have some extra food and she knows he won't mind sharing with her.

Doing laundry is always a chore, and sometimes I envied my pony neighbor for rarely having to do laundry. Until I found out she wasn't allowed to wash her blankets.

It’s an unfair rule and shouldn’t apply to ponies, but the laundromat clerk won’t budge. A creative solution is required.

For Bicyclette’s Thousand Words contest

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

Now with a reading by Rainbow Infinity Readings!

Now with a Chinese translation by FLX071!

Sunfire is a 26-year-old mare living in Dodge Junction, and although she doesn't know it, today she is the happiest pony in Equestria.

Now with a translation to Russian by Psychoshy!

Princess Celestia visits a place she's not seen for centuries; a place where no living pony has set hoof for thousands of years.

Cancer is a horrible illness. Fluttershy knows it all too well. After long weeks of chemo and medication, her doctor brings some bad news. Fluttershy's terminal. She takes her last few hours to say goodbye to her friends and write her will.

Dedicated to my cousin Celeste, who lost the fight against cancer one year ago.

Rainbow Dash isn't what many ponies would consider attractive, but, somehow, she's managed to score a date with a stallion. Now she's at the restaurant, waiting for him to show up.

Thanks to PopMediaVagabond and CleanSweep for giving feedback on this.

Twilight Velvet and Night Light have a night on the town with their family. Although, the small stamp of an 'Elder's Discount' sends Velvet into a spiral. When did they become the old ones? And are they next on the chopping block? Logic says so. And it terrifies Velvet.

Awesome Audio-reading of this story by Skijarmaz! Direct link here!

Bored at the recent lack of adventure in her life, Rainbow Dash goes flying off to find some.

Now the cold north far beyond the borders of Equestria and everything it holds awaits her. Ancient societies unknown to Equestria, monsters, heroes and villains alike, excitement, conflict, danger, glory, Rainbow Dash seeks out all of these to find herself the greatest adventure of her life. A pegasus with greater determination and willpower than any other, she’ll never back down no matter what she faces.