Rainbow Dash's Unstoppable Ego

by MagicS

No Pass Yak

The Chief’s office contained a single large desk sized for a yak along with numerous crates and filing cabinets that lined the walls. A couple of oil lamps hung from the ceiling to give the room light while also giving it a bit of an old-fashioned look compared to how modern the rest of the building was. There wasn’t much else to say about the office other than how the floorboards squeaked under her hooves and a painting of Yakyakistan was on the wall behind the Chief’s desk. The desk itself was cluttered with papers and two large tin trays labeled inbox and outbox that both had stacks of papers and folders in them. A single picture frame also stood on it but it was facing the yak so Rainbow Dash couldn’t see what it was of.

Which all brought her to the yak himself sitting behind the desk. A big fellow even by yak standards, his fur had a honey coloration and he wore three brass rings around each of his horns. The fur around his face seemed to be cut a little short so Rainbow Dash could easily see his big round eyes looking at her when she walked in.

And most oddly he was wearing a suit.

He was a yak wearing a suit.

“I was wondering what that ruckus outside was. Were you on our boat as well?” The honey colored yak asked her.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes were briefly drawn to the comically undersized bowler hat he was also wearing before she found her tongue and answered him. “Uh, no.” She pointed at him with a blank expression on her face. “You’re a yak wearing a suit.”

“And not all yaks sleep under straw roofs. If you didn’t come on the boat then where did you come from and why are you here of all places? This is a checkpoint for supplies and other things going up and down the river,” he blew air out of his nose.

“Well my name is Rainbow Dash and I flew up from Equestria. And really, huh? Cause I heard this was a checkpoint for something else too,” she flew up in front of his desk and got level with his eyes. “You’re the Chief, right? Maybe you can help fill me in on something.”

His eyes narrowed. “I am indeed the one in charge of this checkpoint. My name is Archibald. But I have no idea what you might be talking about.”

He spoke much more fluidly than most yaks Rainbow Dash had met. No broken sentences or absent conjugation or words. Rainbow Dash was pretty sure he knew what she was talking about too but was just playing dumb. How many others came here asking about this place? “Oh come on dude, I heard that there was a secret path to the True North or whatever it’s called and I heard you’re the only one who knows the way. I want to go up there and have an awesome adventure so can you tell me where I need to go already?”

“Hmph,” Archibald snorted. “I don’t know who spilled the beans to you about the other purpose of this checkpoint or the existence of the secret route north but I have no intention of telling it to you.”

“Really, dude?” Rainbow Dash threw out her hooves in exasperation.

“Yes. Really. The True North is not a place anyone should go to and especially not for such silly and petty reasons. It is not a vacation spot,” Archibald leaned back in his chair.

“I know it’s dangerous, I’ve heard about what’s up there and everything and I’m not looking for a vacation. I don’t have a silly reason to go up there I have an awesome reason. To kick butt and have fun! What’s the point of you even knowing about this dumb secret path or whatever if you won’t even tell anybody about it?!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“A pony who has lived their whole life in peaceful Equestria is not made for the north,” Archibald dismissively waved his hoof. “The trail is kept for posterity, its historical relevance to yaks, and as a way for warning to reach us in case something dangerous is coming from the north. It is not something to be used for your own amusement regardless of your reasons and desires.”

Rainbow Dash didn’t really hear the second half of what he had said, since the first part got her angry and offended enough that a vein was threatening to pop out of her forehead. “Maybe most ponies from Equestria wouldn’t know what they’re getting into, but I’m betting you don’t know who I am, do you?”

The Chief flatly stared back at her. “I admit I am lost on anything more than your name.”

Rainbow Dash grinned and flew up a little higher so she could actually look down on him. “Well the first thing you should know is that I’m not like other ponies. I’m awesome. Like, even among awesome ponies I’m at least 20% more awesome than they are. I’m an Element of Harmony, a Wonderbolt, I teach at the super unique and one of a kind School of Friendship that was literally made by the Princess of Friendship herself, and I’ve saved Equestria and the world like, twenty different times by now. I’ve fought monsters, and giant dragons, and super evil villains, I’m seriously not the type of pony you can just write off, pal.” She finished and flashed a pearly white smirk at him while folding her arms over her chest.

“All very impressive,” Archibald responded without emotion and went back to looking at the papers on his desk that he had been going through before Rainbow came in.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” She scowled at him.

“No.”

“Argh! Just let me go north already!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “I flew up here all on my own, made it up and down Mt. Everhoof, and practically froze my tail off just for this. Like what’s the big deal telling me about how to get up there?”

“It’s irresponsible. And furthermore it’s part of my job to not tell anyone else the specific route. It’s a secret after all,” Archibald said.

“It’s not irresponsible! I can handle myself!”

“You’re a pony. Ponies just aren’t made for the True North,” he tried to shoo her away. “Now I’m busy, leave me be. There were a lot of supplies the recent boat from Yakyakistan brought in and my workers already spent the whole rest of the morning shoveling snow.”

Rainbow Dash instead landed on his desk and stuck her face right up to his. “Dude, what can I do to prove to you that I’m more than awesome enough to go north?”

“Nothing. Now move,” he pushed her off his desk.

“Ugh, fine!” Rainbow Dash growled as she scrambled across the floor. Getting her balance back she angrily walked over to the door and yanked it open, slamming it shut behind her.

---

“Man, this is so lame!” Rainbow Dash lamented as she drank a cup of warm coffee while sitting with Gilbert, Senax, and Daylight Gleam.

“I’m rather sorry for the conundrum you find yourself in, Miss Rainbow Dash.” Gilbert apologetically told her.

“Are you sorry for how you were eavesdropping on her entire conversation with Archibald?” Daylight asked him.

The griffon coughed into his talon and acted like he hadn’t heard her, lifting up a small cappuccino and taking a sip.

“It’s whatever,” Rainbow Dash shrugged. She was still annoyed about Archibald and failing to convince him to tell her the way north. Not like she was giving up yet but this was turning into such a time-sink. She wanted her big adventure to start as soon as possible and now what? She was going to be stuck here for how long trying to convince this big yak? Maybe she could try to get him to tell her the way by saying she’d try flying through the wasteland anyways. Which she might. The excitement was eating away at her, she was already the type of pony that could never take no for an answer and had to get her way and now she was being denied her huge, epic adventure. It wasn’t fair! And she was definitely more than ready for anything the north could throw at her.

Rainbow Dash tensed her wings, agitated, before sighing and taking another drink of her coffee. She set the mug down and looked over each of her new acquaintances. “So how long are you guys here for anyways? I heard from the Chief that there was cargo or whatever being unloaded from the boat, is that why you stopped here in the first place?”

“Yes,” Daylight Gleam nodded. “This isn’t somewhere we would’ve stopped by choice but we’re only passengers so there was nothing we could do about it.”

“I don’t mind, I love visiting new places and meeting new people,” Gilbert shrugged.

“Considering how far we have to go I’d prefer as few stops as possible,” Daylight retorted, frowning at him.

“I as well,” Senax agreed with Daylight.

“Oh yeah,” Rainbow Dash looked over at Senax. “So I heard why these two were doing this but what about you? What are you traveling for and everything.”

Senax smiled awkwardly and gazed into the cup of carrot juice she had gotten from the cafe. “That also is a bit of a long story. As simply as I can put it, well, I was the leader of my tribe of merponies back in our home of East Glade. However we had only settled there after our ancestral home was lost to us centuries ago. All we know is that it exists somewhere in the Grand Ocean to the east, past the griffon and dragon lands. I decided I finally wanted to try and find our old home again, for the sake of all my people, and so I joined up with Daylight since she was going to be traveling out there too in search of Gilbert’s brother.”

“Hey, good luck finding your old home and all that,” Rainbow Dash told her. The story of her and the merponies was probably something that would really interest Twilight, Rainbow Dash should keep it in mind.

“Thank you, it’s a very important endeavor to me.”

“And we’ll be able to get back on it quite soon I say. The boat shouldn’t be docked for too much longer,” Gilbert said.

“So you guys were only really stuck here for the morning?” Dash asked.

“Indeed,” Gilbert nodded.

Rainbow Dash sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling. “Lucky.”

The other three looked among each other, sharing looks and smiles as they had a silent conversation. Rainbow Dash was too busy sulking and tapping her hooves against the floor to pay attention to any of this. The blue pegasus was going over ideas for what she could do next or wondering if maybe there was a map hidden in his office somewhere that she could nab. It took a cough from Daylight Gleam to grab her attention again. Rainbow Dash stopped tilting her chair back and lowered her head to look at her and the others.

“Yeah?” She asked, seeing the smiles on their faces.

“Well… I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come with us instead?” Daylight Gleam shrugged.

Rainbow Dash’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

“Why not?” Gilbert said. “Obviously you’re aching for adventure and we’re about to embark on quite the journey. Furthermore you seem more than capable of handling yourself and I certainly find you a joy to talk to. I see no reason why we wouldn’t want you around.”

“What he said,” Daylight smiled. “It looks like things aren’t exactly panning out for you up here so why not come with us instead? We’re hardly an exclusive club.”

Rainbow Dash had to think about that for a moment. It was true things weren’t looking good for her right now when it came to going north. And they clearly were going to have a pretty big and exciting adventure from the look of things too. They seemed cool, and they were friendly, and she wasn’t sure if Archibald would ever tell her the way or if the True North really held what she was looking for. Should she just forget about going north and head with them to that Grand Ocean or whatever?

But… that would be giving up.

“Sorry, but no thanks. You guys are cool, and I really appreciate the offer, but I don’t want to just turn back here without even getting started. I want to go on this adventure. And I kind of want to do it on my own and kick butt all by myself. And I’m definitely not letting some yak stop me.” Rainbow Dash finished with a slap of her hoof on the table and a hard look in her eyes.

“Fair enough. I think that’s rather understandable,” Gilbert nodded sagely as if something profound had just been said and he and Rainbow Dash had reached some sort of philosophical accord.

“Yes, we wouldn’t want to divert you from your own journey,” Senax smiled at her.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Still need to figure out how to get started on that. Thanks for keeping me company and all by the way.”

“Good luck convincing that yak to let you go north. Sorry, but since our boat is leaving soon I don’t really know if there’s anything else we can do for you. Are you sure you don’t want to just come with us?” Daylight Gleam asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Rainbow Dash nodded. “I just… what’s something I can do to prove to that yak that I’m more than ready for the north?”

Comments

[THERDSTORYWHISPERER]

Great chapter!

[Starlight Nova]

How many chapters long will this story be?

[MagicS]

10403424
Not totally sure yet, somewhere around 250-275. That's the ballpark.