Whenever Ponyville needs a hero, Rainbowdash is on it. Sometimes, however, Rainbow needs one herself. Rarity might not know how to be one, but she has to try.

Bon Bon's voice is funny, and that's about all that anypony who meets her notices, as her marefriend Lyra soon steals the spotlight with her explosive personality, strange obsessions, and curious beliefs. And why not? Bon Bon is, after all, a perfectly ordinary, boring pony in every way but two: her voice, and the carefully kept secret that she isn't really a pony.

(Edit:) Now with an annotated version, courtesy of the incomparable Shoggoth Lord!

Adrian Parker is a man on a mission. After a strange purple pony from another world shows up at his house, he is determined to forget about it and return to a normal life. But the governments of the United States and the alien kingdom of Equestria have other plans. Will Adrian escape his destiny? Will the Americans convince him to serve his country? Will the Equestrians teach him the magic of friendship? No to all three, but it'll be fun to watch them try.

(Rated Teen for language and brief pony nudity.)

UPDATE: No new chapter this week. Something, something, writer's block, something. Sorry, everypony. :-(

In the dark,six voices dwindle. They drift, forgetting life and love and hope, eaten away by time and void.

And then, suddenly, there was colour.

In a dark place named Tartarus, a subterranean hellscape between worlds, humans and ponies are paired together at random to survive a gauntlet of horrible monstrocities while the future of their realms hang in the balance.

Now, are you buying that? Good. Cuz I'm friggin' tired of having to explain it all on top of dragging this annoying-ass unicorn around the effing corridors of purgatory along with me. You'd think the damn, burning yahoos who run this place would give us rest stops to drown ourselves in beer or something. Friggin' A.

Oh, and some ponies and humans spill blood together and stuff. I dunno. Stop playing BattleDuty: Future Football and read this, or whatever. Like I give a crap...

Lyra knows the truth. Lyra knows that a shadowy conspiracy dating back to the very dawn of Equestria is responsible for manipulating every major event for the past two thousand years. And Lyra does not care how many museums she has to destroy or how many transdimensional rifts she has to open in her quest to inform the public.

Now with cover image by Madmax! http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/3595/theyaretheworst.png
Spanish translation: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/No-servir-a-estos-ponis-999961442

Audiobook: https://youtu.be/W8W0xxVHtmI

Prince Blueblood thought the Grand Galloping Gala was over. He thought he could just go to sleep and put it behind him. He never expected to be reliving the same disaster of a day, over and over... and over.

TV tropes page here:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheBestNightEver

Thanks to all the people who wrote the page and all the people who gave me a little wakeup call and comment to become aware of that fact! You can't see it, but you guys put a real smile on my face tonight.

Also, recently, extra thanks to RD Dash for giving TBNE a thorough editing. I've updated the fic accordingly (7.11.12)

I can't remember how long I've been alive. I can't remember my birthday. I don't even know my own name. I'd like to think I had a family... but I'm not sure. All these things are meant to be important to me, things I was never supposed to forget, and yet, I have. I have taken shelter in an old castle, in a forgotten city. I do not know why I'm writing this. I suppose just to keep myself sane, but perhaps keeping a record of my activities will help me piece together what happened to the world.

A/N: This is Celestia's immortality, taken to its logical (in my mind) conclusion.

Special thanks to my editors FanNotANerd and Rainbowloyalty

Why won't everypony leave Cheerilee alone about being single?!

(Featured on EqD.)

(Audio versions by Mr Kenyon and FarnesyFudge.)

You think you know me so well, don’t you? I’m a spirit of chaos, and nothing else. You don’t even know the half of it! Sit back and indulge me for a little; I’ll make you understand what it truly means to be chaos itself.

(Featured on Equestria Daily: July 16, 2012.)