//------------------------------// // Chapter Nine: The One Where It's--Holy Crap, Seventeen Pages? Are You Kidding Me? // Story: I Met a Pony In Hell (And We Kicked Ass Together) // by shortskirtsandexplosions //------------------------------//         “Down there,” Fluttershy said, pointing with her dainty hoof.         She and the rest of us stood on the edge of a high cliff overlooking a forest of flat, circular platforms.  At the far end of the clusterfuck of metal mesas, there stretched a thin plateau that hugged an insanely huge wall of underworld rust.  On the far side of the stone plateau was a steep flight of stairs.  The steps stretched up along an inclined groove within the wall, at the top of which rested a circular door that undeniably glowed with bright, magical resonance.         “The last time I flew by this part of the chamber was ten hours ago,” Fluttershy explained.  “The door was glowing a lot brighter then.”         “That must mean the charge is draining,” Lyra said.  She turned and looked up at me.  “Remember how the one we saw earlier lasted just long enough to teleport Michelle and Rainbow Dash?”         “It was a similar situation with Brian and Cheerilee,” Kelly interjected.  “But this door right here?”  She whistled.  “It's the brightest thing I've ever seen.”         “I could get to it in less than a minute with my wings,” Fluttershy said, fidgeting.  “But... uhm... the rest of you?  I'm guessing it's five minutes on hoof.”         “Heh.”  Kelly smirked down at her.  “You say that like it's something bad, Fluttershy!  This is something fantastic, girl!  Thanks to you, freedom is only a brisk jog away!”         “Fuck me,” Applejack breathlessly exclaimed.         The four of us looked at her, blinking.         She gazed back.  A deep rosiness blossomed under her freckles.  “What?”  She smiled bashfully.  “Y'all knew it was a'comin'.”         “So, what are we waiting for?”  Lyra grinned wide.  “Let's drop down from this platform and get home-free!”         I stretched a hand out.  “Keep your saddle on.”  I took a deep breath.  “I don't like the looks of this.”         Kelly groaned.  “Shawn, you'd look at a basket full of puppies and somehow see the Bubonic Plague.”         “Look, I'm damn serious for once.”  I frowned.  “Everyone stay quiet for a moment.”         Kelly and the ponies did as commanded.  They glanced around, their ears pricking.  Soon, a very low murmur was heard beneath the dreadful silence within that vast end of the labyrinth.         Fluttershy squeaked, then stammered, “Wh-What is that?”         “Plum flummoxed if I know,” Applejack remarked.  She glanced over at Lyra.  “That horn of yers still workin', sugarcube?”         “J-just give me a sec,” Lyra said with a shuddering breath.  She closed her eyes and concentrated.  Her horn glowed, shimmered, and then sparked.  Suddenly, Lyra's eyes flew open and she gasped, her face going pale.         “Where?”  Kelly asked in a tense whisper.  She leaned in.  “Where are they?”         Lyra tried her best to stifle a whimper.  “Everywhere...”         We all gazed at each other, until I—of all people—tightened my scabbard around my back and laid myself down before the clifface.  “Applejack, grab my legs.”         “What for?”         “Just humor me.”         “Sure thang.”  She gripped my ankles.         I slipped forward over the edge of the metal cliff.  I held my breath—as if I was diving underwater—and let my upper body dangle down over the side.  I gazed into a deep abyss of shadows directly beneath our platform.  Not only did I learn that there was a huge space beneath the floor upon which we stood, but several shapes were sitting, squirming, waiting within.  I saw the barest glint of armor, arrows, and beady eyes.  I signaled Applejack by twitching my ankles, and she pulled me back up.         “Well?” Kelly asked.         I sat down in front of them, sighing long and hard.  “We're boned.”         “Huh?”  Fluttershy shivered, gazing quizzically at the rest of us.  “What does he mean?  Is that a human expression for evisceration?  Because I-I've always hated evisceration!”         “There has to be at least two hundred of them,” I grumbled.         Lyra nervously nodded.  “That feels about right.”         “What in the hay are they doin'?” Applejack asked.         “Lying in ambush, obviously,” Kelly muttered.         “Do they know that we're here?”  Fluttershy whispered.         “I have no doubt that Sisyphus has been watching us like U.K. Traffic cameras,” I said.  “He probably knows the color of our underwear... those of us who aren't naked, at least.”         “Ohhhh...”  Fluttershy fell on her haunches and covered her face with her hooves.  “This is all my fault!”         I glared at her.  “How so this time?”         “Isn't it obvious?”  Fluttershy sniffled and snuck a guilty peak at us.  “I led you all here!  This 'Sisyphus' wouldn't have possibly sprung a trap if it wasn't for me and this door!”         “You didn't do anything wrong, Fluttershy,” Lyra said, lowering the pegasus' hooves out from before her face.  She smiled.  “And, for another thing, no trap's been sprung on us.  Thankfully, we're in the company of some pretty smart survivors, yourself included.”         “Reckon it doesn't do us a lick of good against that many creeps,” Applejack grumbled in a low voice.  She gave us an exhausted look.  “So, then, what do we do?  We're no match for an entire army.”         “The door's likely to lose it's charge soon,” Kelly said, pointing at the slowly dimming glow from far away.  “If we don't try going through it now, our ticket home will be gone.  Could be an hour, could be a few minutes.”         “Who's to know?” Applejack remarked.         “Right,” Lyra said with a nod.  “But it could take even longer for us to trek throughout the rest of this place in hopes of finding another lucky exit.  Do any of us have a chance of surviving that long?”         Fluttershy merely whimpered at the notion.         Applejack took a deep, fuming breath.  “Look,” she grunted with a frown.  “I'm fine for whatever y'all think is the best course of action.  What I'm most concerned with is keepin' y'all safe.  So what should we do here?  Tryin' to fight off them monsters is a one-way-ticket to the grave.  But goin' elsewhere to find another way home is just as bad.  Whichever we decide to do, I'm game.  But I need to know so I can put my hooves to good use, ya hear?”         I gazed down at the platforms beneath us.  There were several of them: small, ten-foot wide things that resembled satanic versions of the mushroom steps from Super Mario Brothers.  Yes, I know that's horrible, but what more do you want from me?  They were divided by foot-wide gaps that a small crowd of runners could easily jump.  But a huge, hulking crowd?         “Hail Mary...” I muttered.         Everyone looked at me.         “Beg yer pardon?” Applejack remarked.         “Fuck it,” I said.  “We're only dead if we try fighting all the freaks.  So let's not bother.  Let's get our asses down there and run like crazy to the steps on the other side.”         “But it's a trap!” Lyra hissed.  “That's what they're expecting us to do!”         “Then we do something that they don't expect,” I said to her.  “We start out with something to throw them off.”         “Like what?”         I looked at each of us and our mixed injured and uninjured conditions.  “Mmmmm... Applejack, you're the fastest here, right?”         Applejack pointed.  “Fluttershy's the one with wings.”         “Uhhhh...”  I turned and looked at the fragile pegasus.  She instantly wilted from my gaze, blushing beneath her armor.  “Yeah.”  I cleared my throat and looked at Applejack again.  “You're the fastest here, Applejack.  You and Kelly will drop down and grab the monsters' attention.”         “Heh, swell,” Applejack crossed her front hooves and smirked wryly.  “And just how do we not end up with a bunch of arrows for cutie marks?”         I pointed at my partner.  “A few seconds after you drop, Lyra will erect a force field to block them and give you and Kelly a window of opportunity to gun it.  Since Kelly's hurt, it'll be your job—Applejack—to get her to the door first.”         “It'll be a long gallop,” Applejack said, gazing down at the platforms.  She smirked slightly.  “But I'm sure I can handle it.”         “Uhm, Shawn?” Lyra said, fidgeting.  “We're kind of high up.  I'm not sure I can cast a force field from this distance.”         “That's... uh... where Fluttershy comes in.”         Fluttershy blinked.  “It is?”         “She's the wildcard in this situation,” I said.  “Since she's not collared to anyone.  She can lower you in flight while you concentrate on the force field.  Then she can give Applejack and Kelly cover.”         “And just how are you going to get down?” Kelly asked with a hard glare.         I gulped.  I glanced down at the shadowy platforms directly beneath ours.  “I'll figure that out when the time comes.”         “I'm not sure I'm liking this,” Kelly grumbled.  “Even if we get the drop on them, you're suggesting we try to outrun an entire army.”         “It should be okay so long as we can bum-rush it to the exit door in time.”         “What makes you think they won't catch up to us after the initial leap?”         I gazed down at the metal mesas.  I saw where they thinned down, narrowing from six adjacent platforms to two and finally to one.  A single, decrepit mesa was the one platform separating all the rest from the stone plateau just beneath the distant wall and the steps to salvation.         “We fall back at that.” I pointed at the lone platform.  “It'll be our choke-hold.”         “Choke-hold?” Applejack remarked.         I nodded.  “For just five of us, it'll be easy to cross.  But for a bunch of fuck-ugly orcs and trolls, they'll be hard pressed to pass through without sacrificing themselves to our focused attack.  If we can get them all to cluster there, it may delay them just enough for us to make it all the way up the steps unhindered.”         “That's riskin' it somethin' fierce,” Applejack said, stroking her chin with an orange hoof.  “But I reckon it could work, so long as we're quick about it.”         “All I'm suggesting is a huge blitz to the finish line,” I remarked.  “Not a climactic drag-out fight.”         “In other words,” Kelly said with a smile.  “'Fuck it.'”         “See?”  I grinned wickedly.  “Doing middle school speedruns through Goldeneye can prove handy.”         Fluttershy gazed blankly at Lyra.  “Your human friend is strange.”         Lyra giggled.  “You should see him when he's angry.”         “Mmm...” Fluttershy curled inward.  “D-do I want to?”         “I'm getting the feeling you're about to.”         “So it's settled, then?” I remarked.  “Are we doing this?  Or did I just pull a Coach Lombardi out of my ass for no good reason?”         Everyone's face turned grave.  A mixed breath cycloned between us.         “Awww, what the hell,” Kelly groaned, pushing herself into a standing position with her bow.  “This place is starting to smell like a New Jersey Port-a-Potty.  I'm ready to get back home, whatever it takes.”         “My sentiments exactly, girl,” Applejack said, flexing her hooves and cracking the joints in her neck.  “This was never my kind of hoedown to begin with.”         Lyra looked at Fluttershy.  “You think you're okay with carrying me down there, Fluttershy?”         The pegasus took a deep breath.  “This is all so very frightening.”  She gulped.  “B-but... if you and your friends think that this is the best thing to do, then I'll help in anyway I can.”         “See?”  Lyra smiled.  “You're not a coward after all.”         Fluttershy's cheeks turned momentarily red.  “It'll be a long while before I'm as brave as you.”         Lyra blinked.  “Who said I wasn't a coward?”         “Hoo boy...”  Kelly crept up to the side, gazing down.  “That's a long drop.”         I unsheathed my sword with a loud ringing noise.  “Let's make a game of it: try and out-race our piss on the way down.”         She smirked at me.  “Having second thoughts?”         “Kind of.  Thankfully, my third thoughts are a lot more enticing.”         “By the way, you've neglected to mention something,” Kelly remarked, pointing at her bandaged leg.  “I know Applejack can make the jump, but how am I supposed to get down there without killing myself?”         “I think there's an easy solution for that.”  I said, then shoved her square in the chest.         “Gaaah!”  Kelly fell back, only for Applejack to catch her with a smirk.         “Nice coordination there, Shawn.”  Applejack positioned herself so that Kelly was unwittingly straddling her.  “Now let's get crackin'.”         “Wait-Wait-Wait!” Kelly stifled a shriek.  “I thought I said that we weren't gonna have me ride you, AJ!”         “Oh hush, darlin'.  I could handle four of ya.”         “Yeah, besides, your ass is thick enough for it,” I said.  “I should know.  I've studied it closely.”         “Shawn, if this doesn't kill us, I swear—I'm going to turn your rectum inside out.”         “I've had worse pickup-lines.”  I turned and gestured to the other two ponies.  “Ready to fly?”         Lyra gulped and smiled at me encouragingly from where she dangled in Fluttershy's grip.  “She means to say 'yes,' Shawn.”  Her eyes quivered slightly.  “Good luck.”         “Stop treating this like it's the last episode of M*A*S*H,” I grumbled.         “Yeah!”  Applejack exclaimed, leaning precariously on the edge.  “Think of this as the Runnin' of the Leaves!  There's nothin' stoppin' us now!”         “My thoughts exactly.”  I slapped Applejack on her orange flank.  “Hiyaaa!”         “Whoa-Nelly!” Applejack was flung forward, forcing Kelly to shriek loudly, turning the two of them into an even louder distraction.         “They're droppin' too fast—!” Lyra exclaimed as she started channeling magic through her horn.  “Shawn—!”         “Wait for it!”  I held a hand up.         Applejack and Kelly fell, fell, and landed with the clap of thunder on the platforms below.  Without a wasted breath, Applejack was bounding ahead.  Kelly held on for dear life.  One second passed.  Two seconds.  On the third second, a large battle cry emanated from below us—         “Now!” I shouted.         Fluttershy drifted down with Lyra dangling in her grasp.         My partner clenched her teeth and fired a bolt of emerald energy directly beneath their descent.  In a blink, a solid wall of green energy was erected.  It couldn't have had better timing.  Just as the barrier solidified, a flying stream of arrows, axes, and daggers stopped in mid-air.  They rattled ineffectually to the ground while Applejack and Kelly charged far ahead, untouched.         “Sh-Shawn!” I heard Lyra shouting from below.  We were drawing too far apart.  The barest hint of electrical charges was starting to dance along the cold body of my collar.         I leapt.  I dove.  I flew down into the shadows below.  I held my sword like a comet tail.  My body spiraled madly.  I expected to fly into a sea of orcish flesh.  Instead, the green force field re-shaped itself, swinging towards me like a pendulum.  I realized at the last second that Lyra was giving me the boost that I needed.  I mentally thanked her, and then I thought of nothing but blood, for I was bouncing off the force field and sailing into the darkness beneath the cliff.         That's when I saw their faces.  Coming out of the darkness, their expressions were shocked, horrified, and panicked... until those same expressions flew off their necks at the end of my sword swings.         “Haaaaugh!”  I skidded to a stop, swung my sword in the other direction, and lopped off even more body parts.  The huge crowd surged back, not expecting to be bleeding and breaking at the pissed-off end of this crazed sword-fucker.  I stabbed and gutted and sliced every troll and orc I could see.  Then, like the recoiling surge of a crimson wave, the rest of the army hopped over the injured and came at me.         Bright energy bolts flew past my body and immediately knocked them to the floor.  Several cretins shrieked as they tumbled, forming a pile of awkwardly floundering meat.         “Okay, we've done it, Shawn!” Lyra's voice shouted from behind as she fired more energy bolts.  “Now run!  Run!”  I could hear Fluttershy's squealing breath and the distant clops of Applejack's heavy hooves.         I didn't need an excuse to hang out any longer.  Just as several tall monsters lunged at me, I dashed out of the way.  I turned and ran from the deep shadow.  My insides froze at the sight of how long a sprint we all had to make before the distant plateau and stone steps would be within reach.  I could see Fluttershy gliding high above, bridging the gap between Kelly, her partner, and the rest of us.  Lyra was waiting for me, standing and firing volley after volley of energy bolts as her face was drenched in sweat.         “Hey there!” I panted, dragging my sword behind with a scrape of sparks.  “You missed me?”         “Just run!” she shrieked, breathless.  “Run!”         We sure as fuck did that.  Our legs carried us like living bullets towards the sea of tiny mesas.  As we got closer, the platform we were on started shaking all over.  I glanced back and wished that I hadn't.         A solid line of angry creatures was emerging like a sea of snakes from the shadow.  Their beady eyes resembled stars on a twilight horizon.  Soon, angry arrows and twirling daggers were zooming at our heels.         Lyra fired one or two green bolts, and I pulled out my crossbow to take a few pot shots for good measure.  The entire endeavor was futile.  Even our initial counter-ambush—for as bloody and spontaneous as it was—felt like carving a tiny tear out of a Mount Rushmore of leather.  There had to have been three hundred creeps, far more than either Lyra or I had estimated.  What mattered was that we had delayed their pursuit by a hair's width, but even that tiniest of victories was burning away as they angrily, loudly devoured the panicked distance behind us.         “For fuck's sake!” I snarled as I fired a few more bolts into the pursuing swarm.  “What does Sisyphus feed these assholes?!  Space Kenyans?!”         “Lyra! Shawn!” Fluttershy called out from above.  “Look where you're running!”         “Huh?”  I wrenched my eyes off the chasing army.  “Whoah damn!”  I had to leap suddenly, for we had reached the dense sea of platforms.  Together, Lyra and I jumped the tiny gaps between mesas.  It was a lot more perilous than I had anticipated.  Gazing down, all I could see was pure blackness occupying the spaces between solid footing.  It didn't help that every other platform shook and wobbled as soon as we landed and jolted again as we jumped off.  I knew that Fluttershy was there above us the whole time, but somehow I didn't expect the pegasus to do shit if either of us fell.         “They're getting closer!”  Lyra shrieked in between frenzied jumps.  “I can feel them!”         “Just don't look back!”  I growled as I too felt the shaking platforms beneath the cacophonous thunder of the place.  The mesa trembled harder and harder as our enemy gained more and more rusted ground.  “Just think, the door home is up ahead!  Green pastures and Burger Kings await!”         “Oh no!” Fluttershy's voice shrieked up above.         “Fluttershy, what is it?!” Lyra exclaimed.         “Huh?”  I looked straight ahead.  “Oh, what in the hell?!”         Applejack had collapsed.  Kelly was lying on her side.  Were they hit?  Did an arrow skewer one of them?  Both of them?  They had barely made any distance, either.  Their bodies were lying three platforms short of the one tiny mesa and the plateau beyond it.         “Kelly!”  Lyra shrieked in mid-sprint.  The noise of the pursuing monstrosities behind us was deafening.  “AJ!”         As if on cure, Kelly sat up.  She winced and crawled over to Applejack.  Fluttershy lowered down and shook Applejack's limp shoulder.         “It's one of her hooves!” Kelly exclaimed as we got within murderous earshot.  “I think it tripped over a rusted hole in one of the platforms!”         “I knew it was gonna happen!”  Applejack snarled, her face contorted in pain.  As Lyra and I caught up, we saw her left forelimb oozing with blood.  “If I had never lost my dag-blamed shoes—!”         “Who the Hell cares?!” I shouted as I hoisted her up.  “Just keep moving and—”         A spear landed in the middle of the group, missing Applejack's legs by an inch.  Fluttershy shrieked.  Lyra and I glanced back to see the crowd surging close enough for us to see their drool.  The narrower clusters of platforms had slowed their pursuit a little, but that wasn't saying much.  In mere seconds, we would all be turned to paste at the end of their blades.         “Perfect...”  I spat and pulled out my crossbow.  “Somebody or somepony or somemonkey get her across safely!”         “I'll do it!” Lyra said, her horn glowing.  She encased Applejack's front hooves in green energy as the two limped towards the plateau.  “But we can't go too far ahead without our collars zapping us—”         “Just move!” I shouted, firing madly into the crowd.  As a troll or two dropped amidst the monumental wave, I felt Kelly leaning tightly against me.  “If I smell, it's only because I care.”         “Not in the mood!”  She pulled her bow out.  Balancing against my weight, she fired her arrow and flung it expertly across the advancing line, slashing several necks and sending a cluster of orcs falling—shrieking—to the blackness below.  “Lyra's got a point, though!”         “Move with me!”  I said, shuffling backwards.  Kelly was a way better shot than me, so I did the looking for both our feet.  As we came to a gap between platforms, I signaled her, and we jumped.  Kelly winced because of her battered leg, but I gripped her as we shuffled further in reverse, all the while letting her corded arrow do its damage on the crowd.         In the meantime, Fluttershy hovered above us, fidgeting and sweating.  “Oh goodness... Oh goodness!”  She glanced at the tenuous distance between our collars and our partners', then back at the angry line of monsters.  “Wh-what should I do?!”         “You stupid or something?!” I snarled amidst my sweat as Kelly and I jumped another platform.  “Fight!”         “But... But I-I can't fight!” Fluttershy stammered.         “Of course you can!  Everybody can!”  I fired a few crossbow bolts and held Kelly's weight.  “Sisyphus had to have given you some crazy, deadly talent just like the rest of us!”         “But I hate violence!  I've never wanted to shed blood—”         I finally shouted up at her, “Oh grow a pair, you deflated Tristar symbol!”  I ducked a tossed axe and pointed angrily at the crowd.  “They're a bunch of Weta Workshop rejects with no fucking souls!  Do something!  Cuz it's either them or your friends!”         “Mmmmm...”  She squeaked, fluttered down to the platform before us, and tensed her body.  “Okay th-then.  Here goes.”  Fluttershy closed her eyes and tightened her facial muscles.  A series of electrical sparks flickered down the length of her spine, surging into her armor and setting the metal plates aglow.  Then, before our eyes, the pegasus' armor sprouted limbs that further unfolded into a complex rig.  Balanced atop her shoulder, a nasty launching mechanism whirred to life and fired a sea of razor-sharp throwing stars into the pursuing crowd.         Orcs and trolls screamed in agony as no less than thirty of them fell in a solid line of death.         I felt Kelly go limp in my grasp as the two of us gawked at the bloody massacre.  “Holy shit, Seabiscuit...” I stammered.         Ten more trolls died, then twenty.  Dozens of corpses fell into the abyss below as the rest of the army was suddenly stalled halfway across the sea of mesas.         “Uhm...”  Fluttershy barely peaked to see the carnage.  “Am I helping?”  Her rig continued whirring and launching projectiles above her.  “Is this doing it?”         “Yes!”  I shouted.  “Yes!  For the love of Beck!  Keep doing it!”  I hoisted Kelly in both arms, swiveled us around, and dragged her with me towards the plateau.  “Lyra!  Applejack!  We're coming!”         “I'm running out of the sharp-thinigies!”  Fluttershy's voice called out from behind us.         “Then move your tail!”  I panted as the two of us scaled the last, lone platform to join Lyra and Applejack on the other side.  “It's go-time!”  As soon as my feet made contact with the platform, the entire thing wobbled beneath us.  “Whoah!”         “Watch it!” Kelly shrieked, clutching tightly to me.  “It's not stable!”         “No, you think?!”  I holstered the crossbow, grabbed her around the waist, and flung her forward like a missile.         Kelly landed hard on the plateau and rolled over to Applejack's and Lyra's side.  Applejack held Kelly in place while Lyra shouted, “Shawn!  Hop over!”         “Working on it...”  I snarled as the dilapidated platform rocked and teetered beneath me.  Finally, I took a desperate leap.  My boots made contact with the edge of the plateau... and then slipped.  “Gaaah!”  I fell back.         “Shawn!” Lyra shrieked.         I felt a pair of hooves clutching me from behind.  Breathless, I glanced back to see Fluttershy hovering just behind my shoulders.  The rig collapsed into flat armor on her back as she caught my fall at the last second.         “Thanks a ton, featherweight,” I managed.         “Uhm... I'm confused,” she remarked.  “'Grow a pair' of what?”         I blinked at her.  “Snkkkkt...”  My face contorted.  “Hahahahaha—”  An arrow whizzed straight past my ear.  “Whoah, shit!”         “Here they come!” Applejack shouted as more and more projectiles zoomed towards us.         Lyra erected a force field in front of the last platform as Fluttershy dropped me off besides everyone else.  I stood, hunched over and catching my breath.  The world still thundered from the army's inevitable approach.  Kelly was stirring fitfully.  She looked up at the long stretch of stairs still ahead of us.         “This is madness,” she muttered.  “There's no way in Hell we can make it all the way up there without them catching up!”         “I-I can't hold this force-field forever!” Lyra exclaimed, wincing as she deflected several tossed weapons that were bouncing against her magic.  “Are we running or not?!”         “We could try fighting them here!” Applejack said, trying to stand up straight.  “Make a stand here at the choke-hold?!”         “I thought we've been over that!  It's suicide!”  Kelly exclaimed.  “As soon as they make it across that last platform, we're toast!”         I blinked.  I gazed down at the platform.  It was still teetering weakly from when I leapt off of it.  Just above the shadows of the abyss, I could see a heavy fissure in the support-strut of the rusted mesa.         “That thing isn't gonna last for long,” I said.  “And it's their only way across!”         “He's got a point!” Lyra added amidst her strain.         Kelly looked at the platform, at the advancing army, then at Lyra's forcefield.  “AJ!”  She spun around.  “Are your rear legs still good?”         “Darn tootin'!”         “Get over here!”  Kelly pointed.  “Lyra, plant the force-field against the platform!”         “I gotcha!” Lyra levitated the green barricade so that it was pressed up to the edge of the decrepit structure.         Kelly held Applejack's upper body firmly as the orange mare swung her legs into position.  “Shawn!  Fluttershy!  We're gonna need your help!”         “Okay!”         “Got it!”         “All yours, AJ!”         “Alley...”  Applejack gritted her teeth, coiled her legs like massive springs, and launched them violently against Lyra's force field.  “—Oop!”         The body of the energy barricade rippled, but Lyra's concentration kept it intact.  Soon, the whole length of it was being shoved into the edge of the platform like the strong end of a crowbar.  Fluttershy and I pressed against it with whatever strength we could muster.  Soon, a grand crunching noise lit the abyss below.  The stalk gave way, and the platform fell backwards.         It slammed into the next two mesas.  We hoped that it would just fall on its own and make a huge gap.  As a matter of fact, it did more than that.  A deliciously comical domino effect transpired, in which all of the mesas collided with each other.  The resulting chain reaction caused half of the platforms to bend at an insane lean.  The other half snapped off their stalks and collapsed entirely.  That meant...         In a wail of horror, the pursuing army was reduced in half.  As the wave of colliding platforms reached them, dozens upon dozens of bodies went flying into the darkness.  Their plummeting screams filled the air with a symphony of horror, and soon the surviving cluster was running back in a desperate retreat.  It was only fitting; the resulting gaps in the forest of platforms made chasing after us an improbable prospect for the stupid fuckers.         We watched all of this, of course, with breathless joy.  As the orcs and trolls rushed back the way they came, it was hard not to let loose a victorious cheer.         “Yes!”  Lyra chirped, her eyes moist with ecstasy.  “They're leaving!  They're leaving us be!”         “Oh thank goodness,” Fluttershy squeaked.         “Boo-ya!”  Applejack pumped her forelimb as Kelly hugged her close.  “How 'bout dem apples?”         “Heehee!”  Kelly practically snuggled her companion.  “Egads, I friggin' love it every time you say that!”  She smiled my way.  “How's that for Coach Lombardi?!”         “Fuck yeah.” I smirked and stood up straight.  “And I didn't even have to piss myself!”         “Let's not celebrate too long, everyone,” Lyra said, pointing up the steps at the dimly glowing door.  “There can't be much time left.”         “Righto.”  I stood tall on the plateau, still smiling at the sight of the poor saps retreating on the opposite side of the canyon from us.  “Time to make like Paris Hilton's legs and split!”  I reached back to sheathe my sword.  “Fluttershy, help Applejack.  I'll support Kelly and—”  I paused, still holding the hilt of my blade, as my ears filled with a deep bass hum.  Blankly, I gazed at the rest of the group.         Lyra's mouth was agape.  Fluttershy was trembling.  Applejack's eyes were wide.         “Oh Jesus, please no,” Kelly whimpered.         I looked across the canyon.         A crimson light flickered amidst the shadows, strobed again, and materialized in the form of a burning body winging his way towards us.  The air filled with sulphur.  Before any of us had time to think, Babellyon was landing between us and the steps with a thunderous ground-pound.         “Nnngh!”  Applejack flew to the side next to Kelly.         “Aaah!” Lyra teetered on the plateau's edge as her helmet flew off and fell into the abyss.  I caught her at the last second, barely regaining my own footing.         Fluttershy gasped and wilted in mid-air as she was being stared down by the eighteen-foot demon bastard himself.  “Hmmm...”  Babellyon's glowing eyes squinted.  His lips curved and spat out a puff of smoke.  “I could have sworn I killed you.  Ah well.”  He gripped the gasping pegasus by the neck with his burning red hand.  “And who said Hell wasn't full of second chances...?”         “Fluttershy!”  Lyra shouted.         “Oh jeez—” Kelly grimaced, but was suddenly knocked back as Applejack soared past her.         “Haaaaugh!”  Applejack galloped at full speed, bleeding hoof and all.  She threw herself against Babellyon's leg and bucked it at full force.         The incubus barely moved.  “Hah!  You never learn!”  He stomped his foot down right in front of her.  The resulting concussion knocked Applejack about ten feet.         I was running past her with my sword out.  “Lyra!” I shouted, my eyes locked on Fluttershy's choking body.  “Boost!”         Lyra aimed her horn forward.  She produced a green step out of mid-air.         My boots made contact with the energy field and I was immediately launched skyward.  I sailed towards Babellyon's chest.  My sword landed deeply between his nipples.  That made the fucker shout, at least.  I let my weight hang from the hilt, knowing it had to sting like a bitch.  Dangling, I pulled a hand free, twirled my crossbow out of its holster, and fired two bolts deep into the wrist that was gripping Fluttershy.         He still didn't drop her.  Instead, his other hand reached around and clasped my hanging legs.  I could feel the searing heat of his touch even through my armor.         “Uhm...”  I wheezed, sweating like a gutted pig.  “G-guys?!”         “Applejack, move!” Kelly shouted.         The mare awkwardly limped out of the way, giving the woman a clear shot of Babellyon's legs.  She launched the arrow from her bow, converted it into a disc in mid-air, and jerked at the cable.  The projectile swung to the side, spun around both of the incubus' ankles, and wrapped around three times.         “AJ!”  Kelly tossed her bow.  Applejack caught in in her muzzle.  Wincing from her bleeding leg, she nevertheless galloped away from the fight at full speed, effectively yanking the cord out from underneath Babellyon.         “Aaaaugh!” The demon fell like a tumbling mountain.  The only unfortunate thing: I was still attached to him.         “Awww hell!”  My entire body was jostled, but I held tight to the sword.  I didn't fly off of him until my blade ripped out of his chest.  “Ooof!  Fuck!” I grunted as I landed hard on the ground next to him and my clattering blade.  I tried pushing myself up to my knees.         The air filled with smoke, sulphur and fiery heat.  My eyes teared as I looked through the vaporous madness, and finally spotted Fluttershy. She was quivering on the ground, her armor and coat burnt black from where Babellyon's naked fingers had clutched her.         Sweeping my sword up, I sheathed it and ran to her.  I scooped her up with no less speed and hobbled towards the rest of the group.         “Everyone!” I panted, too panicked to be amazed at my stamina as I ran at full sprint with a pegasus in my grasp.  “Head for the stairs!  Quickly!  Before he—”         “Grrrrh-Haaaaugh!” he pulled at the metal wire attached to Kelly's bow.         The weapon flew violently from Applejack's teeth, flipping her through the air.  Next, the weapon flew past me, uppercutting my chin.         “Ooof!” I spat blood and tumbled with Fluttershy.  I rolled and rolled until I landed upside down.  I saw Babellyon standing up, bleeding from the chest and wrist.  He gripped Kelly's trademark weapon in his fingers before tossing it into his mouth.  With glinting fangs, he ground the thing up, and spat it back out as a churning explosive.         “I don't care what Sisyphus wishes anymore!” Babellyon boomed.  “Your part in this exercise is over!  I shall tolerate your games no longer!  Consider this your judgment!”  He stood tall and flexed his throwing arm.         “Look out!”  Lyra's voice shouted.  “Everyone, move, he's about to—”         “Nnnngh!”  Babellyon tossed the flaming sphere towards us.  “Mmmff-Hah hah hah!”         I barely had time to cover Fluttershy with my body and try inching us away.  The explosive landed between all of us.  A ceiling of flame erupted above, lashing down at our bodies with burning tongues.  I felt the hairs on my arms curling.  Kelly was shrieking somewhere, but I couldn't see.  All was ash and soot.  The entire time, the labyrinth echoed with Babellyon's deep-throated chuckles.         Finally, the flames dissipated.  I didn't like what I saw.  Kelly was crawling backwards, clutching a bleeding hand to her chest.  Fluttershy was singed in several places, and she was struggling to breathe.  Lyra was nowhere to be seen.  And Applejack—         “Aaaugh!”  She flailed and spun in circles.  “Blessed Celestia—Nnngh!”  Her body was smoking.  Was she on fire?  “I can't put it out!” she shrieked, and I realized half of her mane had turned into a smoldering torch.         “Hold on!” I scampered up to my boots.  The fact that I was the only one visibly capable of standing didn't make me feel any better.  I grabbed my sword and stood over her.  “Lie still!”         She did so, hyperventilating.  I swung the sword down and lopped her mane off just beyond the base of her helmet.  She tried getting up, only to stumble as the ground around us shook.         All of us looked up, even Fluttershy.  Babellyon was marching through the fire.  He was reaching into his throat yet again, though this time he was pulling out his notorious blade of vaporous flames.  After vomiting forth the weapon of our doom, he sneered and spat a globule of blood at our feet.         “What perfect little soldiers humans and equines are,” he rumbled.  “Tartarus will never have seen a greater glory.”         As I watched the eve of my doom, I felt my eyes wandering.  There was a green sight to the far left, just beyond Babellyon's peripheral vision.  Lyra stood still, her face tensing and quivering.  Several sparks danced from her horn, only to short out and repeat the laborious process.         “Wh-what is she doing?” Fluttershy mewled in spite of her pain.         Babellyon heard nothing, saw nothing, save for his prey.  “In a thousand years, your world will know nothing but torment, and it will all be thanks to you today.”         “Lyra...?”  Applejack murmured as she quivered in a slump next to Kelly in Babellyon's shadow.         My eyes were glued on my partner the entire time.  She focused harder and harder on her glowing horn.  Her neck flexed as she struggled against some unfathomable barrier of mana in her mind.  For one fateful moment, our eyes connected.  She gave me a sad look, as if apologizing.  A tear ran down her cheek as her entire body buckled, and suddenly I knew what she was apologizing for.         “Lyra—!” I shouted.         It was too late.  There was a bright flash.  Lyra was gone, and where she once stood there instead rattled a lone collar to the floor amidst pieces of silver armor.         I was too busy gawking at the sight that I almost forgot that death was upon us.  Babellyon's roaring tone forced me to glance back up at him.         “Embrace the wrath of the Dark Lord!” the demon shouted and flung his vaporous blade over us.  The underworld flashed with light and madness.         Kelly, the ponies, and I flinched.  In the seconds that followed, we were queerly aware of the fact that we weren't burning.  When we looked up, we fitfully discovered why.         A green barricade had been erected in the way of Babellyon's downswing.  It held the vaporous material at bay, keeping us from a searing death.  The incubus struggled in frustration, fighting to cleave his sword through the flimsy shield and finish us mortals once and for all.  Obviously, he was having no such luck.  The reason for this stood behind him, at a distance of one hundred feet, far longer than my partner and I had ever been separated before.         “I got him!” Lyra shouted, squealed.  Her naked body shook upon the breaking point as she exerted all her energy on maintaining the barrier.  Sweat ran down her neck where the collar once had been.  “All of you, go!”         “Lyra!”  Applejack called out as she and Kelly struggled up into a standing position.  “Don't be a fool!  You can't handle him all on your own!”         “I don't intend to!” Lyra exclaimed.  Her face was glinting with tears as her legs buckled from the constant effort.  “Just go already!  Get out of this horrible place!”         “Nnnng-Rrrrraaaugh!” Babellyon, snarling, finally lifted his sword.  He kicked the barrier in frustration, turned around, and leered over the tiny unicorn instead.  “Damnable insect!  If you wish to be cleaved first, then so be it!”         Lyra's coat turned ghost white.  She backed away from the incubus and ultimately scampered towards the distant edge of the pleateau as he stomped after her.  Not once did she lower the force field between him and us.  How she could maintain energy at such a distance was beyond me, except that it had to have been the same freakish guile that got her to finally succeed in teleporting.         “Shawn...”  Kelly stammered, hyperventilating as Lyra led Babellyon further and further away in a horrific cat-and-mouse game.  “Shawn, what'll we do?!”         “Lyra's gonna get herself killed!” Applejack said in a sobbing tone.         “But we're not match for that asshole!”         I was hovering over her collar.  It was still glowing with green energy as I picked it up and held it in my shaking palm.         “Shawn?!”         I jolted.  I glanced at the distant, crimson dance of death.  I heard Babellyon's roars.  I heard Lyra's shrieking cries.  Only one of those sounds made a difference to my heartbeat.         Then I heard Fluttershy's pained voice.  Her coat was still smoking in a few random places.  I noticed this, for I was suddenly looking at her up close, picking her up, cradling her.         “Shawn, please...”  Kelly was practically whispering at this point.  Never in a million damn years did I ever expect her to plead with me, to depend so much on what I felt needed to be done.  Perhaps it was the fact that Lyra had been my partner.  Perhaps it was because I had become so quiet, and it haunted her.  Whatever was the case, I suddenly couldn't rely on my “captain.”  I couldn't rely on anyone or anything, except for myself.  Lyra's collar was detached, after all.  I was free.         “Mmmf... Sam...”  Fluttershy trembled deliriously in my grasp.  Her ears flicked with each of Lyra's distant wails.  Tears trickled out of her clenched eyes and she murmured, “Sam... please don't... I'm not worth it...”         I fumed.  “Let's go.”         “But—” Applejack gawked.         “If we all stay here, nobody gets out!  We're all fucking toast!  That includes your partner, Applejack!” I snarled, slid Lyra's collar over my arm like a bracelet, and ran up the steps with Fluttershy.  “So move your asses!  Come on!”         Kelly cursed under her breath.  She hobbled up and bounced on one leg.         Applejack looked at the glow of Babellyon—now distant—then up at the steps.  Her eyes brimmed with tears, but she shook them dry with a frustrated growl and hobbled over to Kelly.  Together, the two partners followed me and Fluttershy as the four of us made our way up to the door... and to freedom.