Happy birthday to me · 12:58pm Jul 20th, 2016
Only one more year until I officially hit Over The Hill, and it's no longer socially acceptable to celebrate birthdays as an affirmation of my advancement rather than a marker of my slow decline. So: Hurrah! I'm not old yet! [1] I've got another full year to make an original fiction sale before I stop being A Potential Up-And-Coming Author and start being That Old Guy Who's Still Trying To Break Into The Market! OH GODS PANIC
It would have been cool to release a new story on my birthday, but the Writeoff cycle wasn't obliging: I was scrambling to write a new thing all weekend which I have to remain anonymous on for another 8 days. But the good news is I like what I wrote, and hope to drop it on Fimfic as soon as the timer's up. (Assuming that I can get my Hugo reading done, and more importantly, my 80 Days reading/signal boosting, which is already overdue. Augh augh I'm sorry everyone. You've been so patient. I'm going to claim a birthday mulligan but that is my very next task.)
The good news is that I did get something written and posted after Bronycon, and if you feel up to a story which will make you do this:
Pictured: The actual reaction of a badfic connoisseur
... then go check out the latest chapter of my lord master badfic, which seems to have somehow crept up to a positive upvote/downvote ratio (a situation I keep trying to remedy by posting new content to it).
I might maybe have accidentally crossed the streams, getting some Eye of Argon into My Immortal. I blame the manual typewriter in Bronycon's Quills & Sofas lounge.
Seriously though, if you've ever tried to create content on a manual typewriter, you'll have a lot more sympathy for poor old Jim Theis. The way he managed to keep his work full of interesting typos rather than letter salad is downright inspirational.
--
[1] Even though I've been untrustworthy for nine years. Which has absolutely nothing to do with every human on Earth getting stuffed into a sac and replaced with a changeling on their 30th birthday. WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT? THAT'S TRANSPARENTLY SILLY.
Happy Birthday, Horizon!
Many happy returns! I'll make sure to mail you depends for next year.
Happy orbital anniversary! Here's to many more.
Have a happy harshy birthday!
*stares at where the cake was and whistles innocently*
You're still a pup compared to me! lol
Okay, okay... you're only 4 years younger than me...
Happy birthday, though
Happy birthday! And screw the market. :)
Happy birthday!!
Affirmation? Decline? Why not simply celebrate more of You? You are a good
changelingperson, and the more of You there is. the better for everyone! May cake and well wishes sustain your existence!(Cake and well wishes contain little to no nutritional value and is not a substitute for food.)
Happy birthday! Thank god someone's older than me. :V
Also, you need to finish that shit.
Happy birthday!
And yeah, I hear you on the content thing. I've planned to release content on my birthday for the past two years, but it never seems to happen.
Funny how that works out, isn't it?
A very merry birthday to you, chief!
The legacy of the typewriter shall endure for all eternity!
~Skeeter The Lurker
If my parents taught me anything, it's that once you reach a certain age, "Over The Hill" shifts forward a few years at a rate of once every few years.
So don't worry mate, you'll be young forever!
happy birthaversary, friend! and the years go on, to take us wherever fate happens to decide is a nice vacation vista. i hope you spend your time surrounded by love, and have some from me too! <3
4102780
All you:
Ding dang kids...
Happy Birthday, Though!
Mike
Happy hatching-day, you non-changeling!
Happy birthday to you, Horizon!
Happy Birthday! Speaking as a member of the Over The Hill Club, I have to say you're not in. You're not even close. Heck, it'll take another decade before we even start reviewing your application.
If somebody as old as me can still peddle around town on my bike and catch Pokemon, you're fine. Besides, once you make it over the hill, you pick up speed
Happy Birthday you siren.
Wait, I got the meme wrong. Let me try again. Happy birthday you, uh... Dragon! No, uh... Griffon? Manticore? Chimera? Windigo? Diamond Dog? Hydra? Cockatrice? Centaur? Draconequus? Plenderseed vine?
Eh, I'm sure it's one of those.
Thank you for continuing to grace us with your presence. We know you had Choices.
The Counterweight Earth is particularly nice this time of year, I hear.
Happy birthday! Conveniently, I have what could be construed as a birthday gift fic stuck in editing limbo. Maybe I'll have it out in time for next year
Happy birthday! And you never stop to celebrate, you simply shift the perspective around. After a certain age you use your birthday as a giant middle-finger to the universe, as you survived another year.
Standing naked on a hill with a bottle of whiskey while laughing at the night is optional.
...no, hon, I think that was just you.
But happy
hatchingbirthday anyway!Happy birthday! I'm so glad I can say I was a foot away from that badfic reaction picture. Truly truly glorious.
yellow5.com/pokey/archive/pokey5_6.gif
Nah dude, you just stay at 39 forever. Just ask my mother. Besides, Einstein showed us time is all relative anyway. Depending on your perspective in the universe you're not even born yet. In fact, if we took all of your perceived ages from across the universe and calculated the average, you're probably, like, four or something.
Anyhow, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOOOOO!!!
You've got something special for yourself lined up, right?
Happy B-Day! Remember, 60 is the new 30![1]
Aaand... Hugo reading *groan* I am so far behind and there's only a week left to vote!
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[1] Doesn't work on traffic cops, though.
Happy Hatching Day !!
B I R T H D A Y H A P P Y !
I
R
T
H
D
A
Y
H
A
P
P
Y
!
4102748
Why wait? Beat the rush!
4102778
I'm trying to sustain myself on cake and well wishes, but someone distracted me after 4102763 arrived and now the cake is gone.
Fortunately, well wishes are very filling.
4102766 4102894 4102868
Doing my best to catch up! Don't you dare stop aging, though, I want to pass you fairly.
4102780
I totally do
4102789
Maybe we should switch. You post birthday content on my birthday and I'll post on yours.
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I suppose the simple solution here is to keep time-looping through 2016 again so that I can legitimately be 39 forever.
…
… I really should have picked a better year to turn 39.
4103294 seems legit
4103294 *perches in window with a box of cookies I also snagged* Eyy, at least I admit to it! Whaddya gonna to, get the hive queen to take it back? I already ate the entire thing. Nice balloons though.
MRW I saw this blog post title: "horizon has a birthday??"
I dunno.
Anyway happy birthday! Hope you do something fun.
Or at least find some fun to snack on.Also yeah the typewriter was awesome. And it reminded me of how painful typewriters are, and how glad I am that I get to use a computer.
4103294 MWA-HAA-HAA-HAAA!!!! You CAN'T catch up to me! NOPONY AGES FASTER THAN BIKER DA...
*falls over dead* x_x
Happy Orbit* Day, sir! I can call you sir, right?
* Earth orbit = 584 million miles. You are well-traveled.
Hippo birdy!
Which if you interpret the former part in the right wrong language and smush the meanings together might mean "pegasus pony". 
Happy Olding-Getter day!
Happy birthday to you! (And any of your clutch-siblings, of course! If they hatched today, anyways.)
previews.123rf.com/images/lenm/lenm1410/lenm141000066/32405854-Illustration-Featuring-a-Happy-T-Rex-Holding-a-Birthday-Cake-Stock-Vector.jpg
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--Sweetie Belle
Happy Hatch Day!
Happy birthday! You're slightly closer to the top of the hill than I am, but rest assured that others are following in your wake!
4102940
4102921
You guys sound all right. We should totally shout into the night on the counterweight continent sometime.
Happy birthday!
--arcum42
“¡Get your hooves up, party’s starting out right now!”
“¡Everypony, everypony get down!”
“¡Time to make a wish, better make it right now!”
“¡It’s been an year and today is your birthdayparty!”
“¡Make a wish, it’s your birthday!”
“¡Make a wish, it’s your birthdayparty!”
“¡Make a wish, it’s your birthday!”
“¡Make a wish, it’s your birthdayparty!“
4102753
That's the plan!
4102760
Well, now that She has been invoked, of course I'll have a good one! To do otherwise would hardly be professional.
... says the dude who is responding to your comment on the day after his birthday.
4103565
Pfah, fun.
Empty calories.But yeah, that typewriter was super memorable. Speaking of which:4102828
Apparently it has!
4102848
I got a lot of clever and heartfelt birthday wishes, but I want to thank you in particular for the sincerity of yours. <3 I hope some of that love is reflecting back at you right now. It sounds like you could use some.
4103731
Depending on your frame of reference, it could be a lot more than 584 million. There's the orbit of the sun around the Milky Way, the motion of the Milky Way relative to its gravitational influences, the expansion of the universe ...
(And yes, sir is fine in the sense of masculine pronouns. But if you start treating me like a respected elder I will give you some very stern looks. At least until next year.
)
4102880 4102914 4102984 4103167 4104086 4104098
I will make certain to pass your wishes on to my perfectly normal pony clutchmates.
4106019 Okay I'll hold off on the 'sir' until next orbital completion. I'm sure we can trade them so fair is fair.
I always wanted to know exactly how far a point on the Earth traveled in a year of motion, including rotation. I'll see if I can calculate that when I have a bit to spare. In the mean time, this is fun: VSauce - How Earth Moves
My sincere, very early happy birthday wishes for next year!
4106441
AUGH YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO HONOR ME BEING OLD
Oh, iridescent-iron-rats! I was out of town and missed this. Happy belated birthday?
4136833
Thanks!
You are now at the proper age to start acting like Jack Benny. :3
Me, I've got 2 and 1/3 years to go to
become a changelingbecome a Runner and avoid Carrouselhit my 30s. 27 and 2/3 now.4186670
Well, considering that some cashier gave me a senior discount at a local fast-food place last week ...
Seriously! I'm still not even forty!