Rainbow finds herself in love with another mare, but is unable to confess her feelings. When, prodded on by a certain impetuous pink pony, she reveals them accidentally, she's sure she's lost both friendship and love. Circumstances conspire to keep the two going, until ... well, I guess we'll just have to find out!
Yup, it's another Appledash shipping. 'cuz Appledash shippings are the best. Clop-free, gore-free (yes, I have both a clopfic and a gorefic in my story list as well).
As an added quirk to keep things interesting, every chapter will start with this trite, hackneyed phrase: "She was lost again. Lost in those deep, green eyes." As is true with everyone, I've stolen lots of ideas from here and there and hopefully formed them, along with the stray original thought or two, into a story as I'd like to tell it.
I as so very, VERY tired of appledash.
142892
really? I never really cared for Appledash either. To be honest I just started reading these 2 days ago. They have turned me into a Rainbow Dash fan.
I for one like this fanfiction. 4/5
i never tire of any apple-dash shipping, or any shipping at all for that matter. -tracking-
Looking good, I'll be tracking.
Looking at the other comments and ratings, I feel that I must say, simply being tired of appledash by itself is a very poor reason to give a fic a low rating, and I really hope that reason alone is not what led to that 3 star rating. If it is, then, well, for shame.
I love apple-dash too
Oh boy another fan fic featuring my favourite pairing that will probably have the most trite...
.....hhhheeeeeyyyyyy this is pretty good. Your prose is actually vivid and demonstrative, particularly the beginning where Rainbow loses her train of thought around Applejack. And the story seems to keep up that momentum throughout. (DISCLAIMER: I'm actually fatigued and not thinking as clearly as usual so I'll give this a go over later and see if there's anything I missed or more constructive I can add.) This is actually off to a good start, so for now I'll give it a '3.5'. Why?
Two things:
- I'm willing to accept that Dash's emotions might come on quickly like that, though as fair warning you are treading risky territory here. Not so much that Dash is anguished and has these buried feelings (though as I said, I am feeling foggy right now), but I've read more than my fair share of AppleDash fics that mine the whole 'buried' feelings thing. PARTICULARLY the fear of homophobia thing.
Almost of none of them back it up.
Soooo, I guess what I'm saying is that at this juncture I can see your story going either way. I'm hoping you're planning to seriously develop Dash's fears by way of backstory and making it a concrete danger for her in Ponyville which makes this persistence of these fears real. If this is the case my rating of the story is likely going to go up, though at this point it's too early to tell if it will go higher.
- “P–please don’t hate me, Pinkie.” she wimpered.
I can certainly understand why you wrote this line, though it comes off as unnatural and I've seen too many bad writers run this into the ground. Unfortunately I'm having trouble thinking of alternatives. You might be better off just cutting that part altogether, but I'll sit on this.
Either way you've caught my interest and I'm tracking this despite having a huge backlog of stories to read.
Two words...
More shipping :)
Added to my track list as I am a big fan os rainbow dash shipfics
Two words...
More shipping :)
Added to my track list as I am a big fan os rainbow dash shipfics
"Appledash shippings are the best"
Pfft. Hell no. If anything, they're probably the worst. TwiDash is where it's at.
And I feel like I'm ragging too heavily on things that may or may not come up down the road in the story, so I'll add...
...I like how you handled Pinkie Pie here. I have talked with a good friend a lot about these ponies. She's shown some unusual and perceptive insights about them, including Pinkie Pie whom she identifies with (and is kind of like). Your depiction of Pinkie being utterly ebullient only to show a great sensitivity towards the need of her friends when things call for it rings utterly true to my view of the character that's developed out of those discussions. I can easily see the fact that she seemingly changes gears from assuring Dash to acting like nothing is going on is simply her getting on with business while she figures out how to best help her friend out. (And frankly it would be good story material to have Dash leaning on Pinkie as a friend for support here.)
Of any Rainbow Dash relationships, Appledash seems best in my opinion. I just can't see Rainbow or AJ with anyone else. Great job on this one, I'll be watchin' for it.
Opinions are ... mixed. I suppose I'll write at least one more chapter.
A couple notes in general response:
1) Yes, it's the oldest ship in the book. Yes, part of why I decided to write in that direction is the sheer volume of other sources to draw inspiration from. Cliché, hooray. Basically after reading altogether too many of these, I had unwittingly started to put together one of my own, and that's what's going here. If you feel I'm setting up the pair poorly, I'd love your feedback, but if you just don't like that pairing ... well, then read something else
2) The two vital pieces of backstory to explain Rainbow's reaction are in the pipeline. From a word-count perspective they're soon (although from a scheduling perspective Idonno, I'll be ever on the edge of canceling this ;) ). I'm quite sure that the backstory regarding Rainbow's fear of a homophobic reaction will disappoint. Oh well. The relevant dissipation of that fear will disappoint as well. If I have divine inspiration before the relevant chapter, I may even change it, but I've got a roadmap in mind.
3) My gloriously trite chapter-introductory sentences are to keep a certain degree of focus. There are only so many scenes that can possibly fit this description, so by forcing myself into one of them every so often, the story has a sort of heartbeat. It also gives me an excuse to make my favorite character
very perturbed at least once a chapter. 
Although there are other green eyes in Ponyville ...
Oh, and in direct response to 143328; thanks, I actually did try very hard to get the presentation of her character right, and I'm glad to say that that came through for at least one reader. I think a lot of fics end up presenting her as this odd mashup of wise sage and lunatic, which can actually work, but I'm trying to keep her a bit more grounded.
143325
You have obviously not seen the adorkableness that is TwiShy.
Look up "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" and read it. I guarantee it will change your mind.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Now THIS has significantly picked up my regard from the story, even if I was positively disposed towards it. You've put down some very vivid and very effective descriptive language to describe how Dash fell in love with Applejack. And instead of enumerating Applejack's virtues as being why Dash fell in love, you describe the rush of emotion that comes with falling in love, a process that's not always rational or clearly explainable, but nonetheless sensibly arises in this case due to a moment of profound intimacy. You carried that out very well, as you did with how fear overtook Dash when she gazed into Applejack's eyes.
Well done. At this rate my initial reservations might not matter any more.
:)
yes...
THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!
MOAR!!!
...*sniff*...
... that...
was...
... ADORABLE!
your friends just want you feeling happy, loved and gay
i say i almost spilled my coffee all over my computer...
if i had coffee...
Ding! Seal of Approval!
MOAR NAOOOOO
Well looka there, over 50 tracks. That's ... well, Idonno, that's a number.
either Pinkie is psychic or...now she's psychic
yeah right AJ, that kiss was an accident!
I just knew Pinkie would ask Zecora for something to help RD
but what I didn't expect is the addition of Fluttershy as a character
idk, for some strange reason, this reminds me of that P!nk song "Who Knew"
and when it comes to Pinkie, you never know what to expect
OMG UPDATE YAY
man its been a long time since u updated this
good going ol' chap!!
379524
Yeah, I just haven't much time ... my real life is pretty hectic, and I've got another fic ongoing too. I was trying to do one chapter a week for a while (so, one chapter every two weeks per each fic), but I just couldn't manage.
Still, I hope you enjoy it
379824 if I didn't read it and comment, I wouldn't of enjoyed it man
It's actually controversial whether or not Caramel is an Apple or not. Just saying, we have no solid proof either way.
389814
Fair enough, fair enough. However, there is an absence of evidence, and he was not present in the role call from the first episode. Plus his cutie mark is non-apple-related, which seems to be impossible for Apple family members
Anyway, it was just connected to a silly oblique comment, so *eh*
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet~ me gusta!
This story is great! You keep everyone in character and I love how you show all the thought processes behind the emotions, so its not just like "OMG I love you randomly, cuz your'e, like, pretty!" Keep writing, you're really good at it. Also, I love Pinkie Pie's shenanigans and Gummy's top hat
536081
Hey, thanks; I actually try really hard with the characterization, it's an area where I'm not particularly confident in my abilities, so I'm glad my effort isn't wasted
(And as a note to anybody reading, yes, things are going slow, I'm sometimes just busy in real life I'm afraid)
oooh interesting
:3
I don't think I would've known this was written in less than a week if you didn't say otherwise. It was just that good.
OOOOOOOHHHH
Something smells painful...
Ooh, cliffhanger!
I'll be tuning in next episode. Good job!
654859
659510
Secretly, this whole story is just an extended prologue for my gorefic.
Sniff....thats really sappy.....but/and soooo cute!
Its so sweet how they care for her, especially Pinkie!
Oooooh dear
I have to say.....if i would have any "writing-skills", this would be exactly the story i would write xD
It totaly matches my appledash headcanon!
Especially this chapter, because i also think that applejack never thought about romance very much before the kiss.
The conversation with BicMac was hilarious btw ;)
Can't wait for the next chapter! It's really nice to read!
...
final chapter?
YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
681491
Glad you're so happy to see it go.
Nice.
Bravo. And I LOVE the bit with Scoot and Apple Bloom at the end. I've had the same thought about Scoot and the AppleDash ship, and I'm glad you wrote it so I don't have to.
Thank you for writing a wonderful story.