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// Chapter 5 
// Story: Lost in Her Eyes 
// by Clavier 
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She was lost again. Lost in those deep, green eyes. They gazed back inquisitively; she had hoped to find answers in them, but found them plagued by the same questions that had followed her through an afternoon of silent work. And they, like the rest of her, were tired. She took the opportunity to wipe the sweat from her brow, smooth her mane and adjust her prized stetson, carefully analyzing the reflected figure as it did the same. What compelled her to make herself presentable, she wasn’t sure, as she had no intention of being presented, but the memories of her day lifted her appearance to an uncommon level of importance.

Rainbow was fond of pranks, of course. Surely it had just been some strange prank. She’d see her friends the next day and laugh about it. “Rainbow,” she’d say, “y’all sure pulled a fast one on me, Ah’ll get ya back one o’ these days!” But she tore through that conclusion like thin paper wrapping a deeper truth. Could that have really been the kiss of a dare? Some cruel joke?

But if not, what was it? Applejack was no master of affairs of the heart, and had never found herself needing to unravel their complexities. The possibility of the brash, unsentimental pegasus sequestering deeper feelings seemed so outrageous to her, she dismissed it easily as well.

Time marched quickly and quietly onward as her thoughts vacillated insubordinately between these extremes, and her insular state probably would have continued unabated had she not been startled by the familial supper bell. She jumped, and felt her heart beating heavy in her chest, embarrassed by the realization that she’d just spent several hours with nary a thought not about Rainbow Dash. Chuckling, she deciding that the prank was designed to make her waste her evening; but she couldn’t help questioning why she was still thinking about the pegasus. She wondered what could have driven her friend to such uncharacteristic behavior.

She wondered what was supposed to have happened next.

That last rebellious thought having pushed Applejack briefly into the untamed wilds of her subconscious, she shook her head and trotted down the rickety farmhouse stairs, trying at the same time to steel herself and reveal nothing of her tumultuous musing. Big Macintosh was reserved, even shy, with most ponies, but not with his sister. Since the death of their parents many years prior, he had been like a father to her, and had learned to read her every thought and concern as if they were printed on paper. She was never particularly skilled at lying to anypony, but she certainly couldn’t lie to him. Not wanting to broach the subject, she decided she would try to simply withhold the truth.

She sat at the kitchen table, conscious of only two things: First, that her face was assuredly be a redder orange than she wanted it to be, and second, that she was lucky to have a brother who was one of the finest cooks in Ponyville.

“Well this is quite a spread ye’ve cooked up, Mac,” she beamed, hoping to distract from any uncomfortable topics.

He was uninterested in her compliments. Shrugging, the workhorse indicated to Applejack’s usual chair. She noticed that the third and fourth chair that circled the small kitchen table were conspicuously bare, reminding her that Granny Smith was out of town and Apple Bloom was at Sweetie Belle’s house. Alone with her big brother and nothing to talk about but her day, she tried to let the meal fill her mind, and dug in ravenously.

Big Macintosh chewed thoughtfully in silence, but never pulled his gaze from his clearly nervous sister. She stared into her food, wearing a very poor mask of casualness which did little to hide her true disquietude. His intentions were pure, he didn’t like to see her in a poor mood, but Applejack plainly didn’t want to talk. So, seeing that the weight of his stare wouldn’t break her, he decided to be a bit more direct.

“How was your day?” he asked with a practiced coolness.

“Good,” she replied flatly, “good day.”

Seeing that this tact wasn’t working, he applied a more direct approach. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’.”

He cocked an eyebrow, one corner of his mouth turning up in a devious smirk. If the direct approach wouldn’t work, he’d just have to go fishing.

“Hmmm … did ye knock down another tree?”

She snorted indignantly. Not that.

“Ah’ll bet some ornery customer didn’t like yer apples.”

A small laugh. Still wrong.

“Ah know,” he jabbed, running out of guesses but confident in his next one, “ye’ve got some nice stallion makin’ to court with ye, and y’all’re pushin’ ‘im away, just like ye always do.”

She finally looked up from her food, slightly shocked. Bingo.

“Who is he?” he inquired accusatively.

Applejack stuttered and stammered, unsure of how to answer the question honestly but not offer more information than she wanted to. After a few false starts, she once again stared dully at her plate. “There ain’t no stallion.”

Big Macintosh chewed ponderously for a seemingly endless moment. His perturbed orange sister nearly believed that she had been convincing, but then repeated what she’d said in her mind, and noticed something distressing. A slight upturning of the voice, an intonational nuance that had implied more than she intended. She looked up again to try to read his expression, praying that he hadn’t been very perceptive, but he was typically unreadable. Of course, the ever-deepening burning sensation in her cheeks was a further betrayal of her attempted deception.

“Who is … she?”

Flabbergasted, Applejack dropped the ruse. “Ah guess there ain’t no point lyin’ to ye,” she admitted. “Rainbow Dash was goin’ on like a jackrabbit in–” She cut herself off, but the damage was done. Her mind was wandering places she would never think to tread.

The big red farm stallion laughed a simple, light chuckle, proud that he’d managed to force this less-than-innocent confession. “Ah like Rainbow,” he declared, still tittering, “y’all should give ‘er a chance.”

Applejack sneered. “That’s all ye’ve got to say, huh? ‘Ah like Rainbow, give ‘er a chance?’”

“Eeyup.”

“And what, the fact that she’s a mare doesn’t even matter?!”

His continued stoicism infuriated her. “Nnope.”

“And if it were you?”

Pulling another bite of potato to his mouth, he chewed with irritating slowness while pondering the question. “If some stallion was makin’ eyes at me, I suppose I’d at least give ‘im a chance.”

Not very hungry and finding a rare opportunity to get the upper hand in one of their sibling conversations, Applejack pushed her plate away and declared, “Caramel’ll be glad to hear ye said that!” before strutting victoriously from the room. Her brother didn’t have the opportunity to think of a response, or even contemplate what had been said, before she was gone.

This momentary elation fueled by sibling rivalry subsided quickly as she trotted along the dirt road, but that allowed her other thoughts to resurface. Although usually preferring to to keep personal issues personal and solve her own problems, the stubborn pride that led her to do so was already broken. Thinking this a “big city” problem that a “big city” pony would be most helpful with, she found herself meandering in the general direction of the library, where she expected to find Twilight.

Passers-by waved and made their polite hellos, Applejack being one of the most well-known and respected mares in Ponyville. She nodded politely as she trotted by, inexplicably relieved to find nopony gawking or whispering about her. With Rainbow Dash’s usual boastful nature clearly in check, she could at least conclude that she wasn’t just a conquest for the pegasus. But that only deepened her confusion of the situation in general. When she arrived at the library she opened the door and poked in her head, but didn’t find her target as she glanced around the cluttered room.

“Hi, Applejack!” Spike cheerily called from the top rung of a ladder, performing some menial book-related task which Twilight had presumably assigned him.

“Oh, hi, Spike.” she muttered, “Is Twi in?”

“No,” he hopped down, “but I am, and I know the library like the back of my claw! What were you looking for?”

“Well, Ah just wanted to talk, really.”

He grinned broadly. “I can talk, I’m great at talking!”

“Thanks, but Ah was lookin’ to talk to Twilight.” Pulling from the doorway, she prepared to leave. “Ah’ll come back later.”

Disappointed, Spike scuffed the ground, murmuring, “Yeah, everypony always just wants to talk to Twilight.”

Applejack made a mental note to spend more time with the lonely dragon, but had to rebuff his friendly desires at the time. Thinking quickly, she devised an excuse that was both true and sure to disengage him. “It’s just that it’s kinda a secret. Y’know,” she winked, “girly stuff.”

His disappointment immediately transmuting to childish disgust, it was now Spike’s turn to rebuff. “Blech! I mean, uhh, it’s always nice seeing you, Applejack, too bad Twilight’s not here, see you later!”

The door slammed before she could make her goodbyes. As she walked lightly away, she couldn’t help but chuckle at her ruse. “Girly stuff, indeed.”

With Twilight unavailable, Applejack considered her other options. Fluttershy was a good choice to talk to about emotions, but she was too close to Rainbow Dash. Rarity was very cosmopolitan, and could probably offer good advice, but they rarely saw eye-to-eye. Of course, Applejack considered, she could just confront Rainbow directly, but this flighty friend was quite talented at making herself scarce; she would only be confronted on her terms. In fact, the only pony Applejack could think of that could always find Rainbow was–

She hadn’t even finished her thought before she realized that she had unthinkingly walked directly to Sugarcube Corner. For all of Pinkie Pie’s strange antics, she was a good friend, she was good at keeping secrets, and she always knew how to find Rainbow Dash. Applejack opened the door, chimes announcing her entrance, and was relieved to find Pinkie tending the counter.

“Hi Applejack, looking for some non-apple sweets?” the baker prodded her would-be rival with the subtle suggestion. The farmpony shrugged off the playful insult, other topics being of more immediate concern.

“Hey Pinkie, are the Cakes in? Ah was hopin’ we could have a chat, in private.”

“Mr. CAAAAKE, Mrs. CAAAAKE,” Pinkie hollered, “can you HEAAAR me?!”

Applejack just shook her head, but her boisterous friend seemed content with the results.

“They’re upstairs with the foals, they can’t hear anything from the nursery,” she explained.

“Oh. Ah gotta talk to ye about somethin’, but ye’ve gotta promise me ye’ll keep it secret.”

Pinkie nodded, then mimed a sequence of inexplicable actions. She seemed to grab something from above, then perhaps set it on the ground, or maybe bury it in the ground? Then she pushed something, or maybe she was pretending to sculpt something? Why would you sculpt something to keep a secret? Although the bewildered orange mare couldn’t make heads or tails of the display, she considered it sufficient evidence of her pink comrade’s sincerity.

“Ah was havin’ a nice chat with Rainbow Dash earlier today … she said she wanted t’ tell me somethin’, but then,” Applejack hesitated, searching for the right words. “Well, she just sorta froze for a bit, like she spotted a bear behind me or somethin’. And she started leanin’ in, and … she kissed me. Um, she tried to do a lot more,” her voice faltered as her blush resurfaced, “but Ah guess somethin’ spooked ‘er, ‘cause she flew away all of a sudden.”

Pinkie smiled and nodded politely, feigning shock and ignorance to protect the pegasus’ secret. The embarrassed pony before her having stopped, she gave a toothy grin and asked, “And then?”

“Err, Ah don’t rightly know. Ah … Ah’m not sure what Ah should do. Ah mean, what if it was just some prank? She likes pranks, y’all know that better than anypony. And what if … what if it wasn’t a prank? Ah don’t know how … that is, um …” her voice trailed off, as she found herself too rattled to proceed.

“A prank?” Pinkie thought. “This silly pony thinks it was a prank?” But she didn’t know how to assure Applejack that it wasn’t without revealing Rainbow Dash’s secret, and she would never reveal a secret.

“Can’t you tell if it was a prank or not?”

“Ah don’t think so? Ah don’t know.” Her confusion was as thick in her voice as her accent.

After a few moments pondering how to explain it while Applejack gazed on, lost in thought, Pinkie Pie devised the sort of solution that only Pinkie Pie could.

Although she would be loathe to admit it, Applejack’s life had been mostly devoid of romance. She had had the occasional date, but no long-term relationships. Her attempted relationships hadn’t ended poorly, they had simply fizzled, for reasons she didn’t understand. As such, she was unaccustomed to being kissed, and didn’t really know what the proper way to react to it was. She was even more unaccustomed to being kissed by mares; she understood that some ponies had “alternative proclivities,” but had never seriously entertained the possibility that she might be one such pony. Not until that afternoon, anyway. She’d simply never thought about it. The unfolding actions of the day were rather violently forcing her to reconsider; part of her was enjoying itself more than she cared to admit. But as unusual as it was for her to be kissed, as surprising as it was to be kissed by another mare, being kissed by two different mares in the same day was simply too much!

“Pinkie!” she yelped, pushing away her suddenly amorous companion, “what the hay was that?!”

The eccentric pink pony just giggled. “That,” she laughed, “was a prank kiss.”

Applejack was taken aback. She repeated the words in her head, and came to an important realization, one that in retrospect seemed obvious: Rainbow Dash wasn’t pulling a prank, she wasn’t trying to be cruel, nor was she a wild fillyfooler in heat, although she had certainly acted like one. There was more to it. More than she’d ever imagined was possible from the brash pegasus. Was it possible? Could this mare harbor these kinds of feelings, and in secret?

She sat on the ground, allowing her emotions to wash over her, and trying to decide what she should do. If she allowed things to proceed, would it ruin their friendship? If she didn’t, would the curiosity that was still growing in her drive her mad? Would Rainbow feel hurt, or abandoned? And what if they dated, but she realized she couldn’t feel the same way?

Pinkie Pie excused herself up the stairs to feed Gummy, but Applejack didn’t even notice, as she was so absorbed in her own thoughts. A shocked and familiar screech from upstairs drew her attention away from her own mind.

“Pinkie, you scare– you startled me!”

“Sorry, Rainbow,” Pinkie chimed from above with a small laugh, “he got away from me.”

“Why the hay is he wearing a top hat?”

“Why not? Don’t you think it looks good?”

“Is that … why does an alligator need a belt?”

“It’s a cummerbund! Isn’t it … dashing?” Her small laugh became a boisterous guffaw.

“Ugh, I’m leaving.”

Rainbow trotted down the stairs, clearly incensed, but skidded to a halt at the bottom, surprised to find herself once again face to face with the mare of her unrequited love.

They both sat, mere inches from each other yet seemingly so far apart. For a long moment, they both just stared, nonplussed and stalemated, until Applejack broke the silence.

“Um … hi, Rainbow.”

The pegasus feigned nonchalance poorly, scratching an imaginary itch behind her ear. “Hey, Applejack.”

Their silence resumed until the awkwardness became palpable in the air. Feeling the weight of another’s glare on the back of her neck, Rainbow looked around to see Pinkie voyeuristically encouraging her from a secluded spot at the top of the stairs. It was a small confidence boost, but a sufficient one.

“Look, Applejack, I’m sorry about earlier … we can still just be friends, right?”

Applejack replied flatly, “No ya ain’t.”

The pegasus was clearly shocked. “What?” she pleaded, voice cracking.

“Ye sure as hay ain’t sorry.” The farmpony glared mischievous green daggers through Dash’s skull. “Tell me the truth, Rainbow.”

“The truth?”

“The whole, honest truth.”

A few seconds passed. Rainbow swallowed hard. “I’m a fillyfooler.”

She had always expected this to be a confession, so it felt only natural to confess it, but Applejack just laughed, sarcastically spitting back, “yeah, Ah’d figured that out, Rainbow.” Even in this tense moment, the earth pony’s warm laugh lifted her spirits.

She bit her lip. Pinkie hissed from behind her, “go on! Go on!” Applejack could be a living lie detector when necessary, so she knew there was no use hiding anything.

Pulling from all the reserves of courage and confidence she had available, Rainbow puffed up her chest, looked Applejack straight in the eyes, swallowed her fears, and blurted out an unprepared declaration. “Applejack, I love you. I’m mane-over-hooves, can’t-stop-thinking-about-you, never-felt-this-way-before crazy about you! And I know you probably can’t feel the same way, and the thought that I could offend you, or hurt you, or … or lose you … I’ve never been more scared in my life, Applejack.” Her voice cracked and her courage waned, but she pressed on. “Please,” she begged, “please say we can still be friends … don’t leave me, Applejack. Don’t leave me, not like Lightie … I’ll promise to never mention it again, I’ll give you space and find somepony else and never ever ever bother you about this, just please … please …” she trailed off, still staring bravely, trying to guess what the other was thinking.

Applejack considered the situation carefully for a moment, then pulled her would-be lover into a tight embrace, murmuring softly into her ear. “Dash, Ah don’t know how Ah feel. An’ Ah don’t know how Ah oughtta feel either. But Ah know that y’all’re my very best friend. And ye always will be.”

Stripped to her bare emotions, the cyan mare cried softly and joyously into the wheat-gold mane beside her. She spoke meekly, “thanks.”

“And … and Ah don’t think Ah could forgive myself if Ah didn’t at least give ye a chance.”

It took a few long seconds for the words to sink in. The excitement rose in Rainbow’s voice. “A– a chance?”

“Let’s go for a fly, Rainbow.”





Author's notes: Caramel is not part of the Apple family. Look it up! (I had to ...) This chapter took me a while partially because I just couldn't get the pacing right ... I'm still not confident in it, but there ya go. Hope you enjoy.

Have I mentioned recently how much I appreciate comments? I appreciate them far more than ratings or views, I love to hear what everypony has to say. Constructive criticism would be enormously appreciated as well. Put some words in that box down there!

Cheers,

- Clavier