• Member Since 17th Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen November 8th

Rex Ivan



Twilight Sparkle casts a spell that allows her to see how many sexual partners every pony in Ponyville has had, and she has to deal with her own reactions to what she sees. Comedy that deals with adult situations in a childish way. Nothing very explicit at all.

This was for a writing group, using the theme of "write MLP fiction based off of a song". My song of choice is 'Everyone Else has had More Sex than Me" by TISM. I suggest watching the video on youtube to better understand this story.

EDIT: Comments contain spoilers, and a very short omake (meaning non canonical, but fun anyway) epilogue by Fluttersnipe.

MLP and the song this story is based from are NOT mine in any way, and are the properties of their respective owners only. This is a fan work.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 51 )


I think there's a law that you have to post one of those sorts of comments, even if they're singularly unhelpful...

Okay, I've always loved that little music video, and the premise of applying it to Twilight is strangely appropriate, as well as downright hilarious - if a little risqué.

But who can complain about a comedy piece that literally made their beverage of choice explode from their nostrils? :rainbowlaugh:

HAHAHA.. no, seriously, you owe me an iced tea, dude. :duck:

What? 9000?!

More seriously, that was incredibly cute.


Oh, you slutty little ponies. Got to take exception with it dealing with "adult situations in a childish way," Pinkie gets a bit forward at the end, but damn did this crack me up... (and not just 'cause I ended up with TISM on loop in the background while reading this)

Interesting, to say the least...

But I don't like shipping for shipping's sake, and that's kind of what the ending seemed like. :applejackunsure: Maybe it's just me.

:trollestia: HA!!! Pinkie Pie has nothing on me. If twilight needed help on the subject, she should of came to me. I would of gladly shown my faithful student a thing or two that I've picked up.

#8 · Sep 4th, 2011 · · ·

Aaagh! You ended just as it was getting good. Extended version, please!

After reading cupcakes,my image of :pinkiehappy: changed forever.I thought it would never change again.

I was wrong.......

Interesting story!:twilightsmile:

I dont think I've ever laughed so much while reading something that wasn't a Discworld book.
And I laughed a lot during this. So a very good job while writing this.

That was simply delightful! The whole ending scene with Pinkie was unexpected as well, and a great idea. Cheers~ :rainbowwild:

... Da Fuq?:rainbowhuh:
I couldn't help but laugh at the over nine thousand part...:twilightsheepish::rainbowlaugh:

I'm confused at what the "1" on Twilight's flank means. Does it mean she clops regularly?


Yes, it means that the only lover she has ever had is herself.

Well, my first thought on reading the description was 'Why would Twilight cast such a spell? Wait, why does a spell like that even exist in the first place?' But once I got over that, it was an amusing read. :pinkiehappy:

(Also, the 20th digit of pi is 6.)

#18 · Sep 5th, 2011 · · ·

:applejackconfused: :derpyderp2: :derpyderp1: :derpytongue2: :pinkiegasp: :pinkiehappy: :pinkiesad2: :pinkiecrazy: i hpe these explain my feeling right now

*reads end of story*

Welp, there's only one thing to do. Sing along, everypony!

"What is this thing in my mooouth, it's slippery, and it's slimy. Traveling down my slender virgin pink esophagus, Pinkie's tongue, it's such a new sensation! It's really quite thrilling-"

Cookie for the reference that almost absolutely everyone will get?

This was a fun, silly read - I'd heard that TISM song before, which also contributed to the amusement. :derpytongue2:

One can't help but wonder about Fluttershy's "number," though... :flutterrage:

(Also, Drawn Together? 3659 )

#21 · Sep 9th, 2011 · · ·

3659 Dikekike/Krobo Productions
3810 Drawn Together is the main ref but it's from Dikekike's video, Friendship is not available in your country. Very funny as are the rest of his pony poops, you should check 'em.


Because Im bored, SCIENCE TIME!

Pinky has a partner number of at least 9001.

How old is Pinkie? I assume 22 - 25.

365 x 25 = 9125 days lived.

Partners = 9001.

So, this must mean she has had... with at least 3 partners a night since she was around 17.

My word. How... What...

She's Pinkie Pie, why am I stunned?


Once again SCIENCE!! has proven Pinkie Pie to be even more ridiculous than originally suspected.
However, your calculations have not factored in her ability to bend space-time, break the 4th wall, or host orgy break dancing festivals. We must take into consideration ALL variables.

Sooo shes a virgin but ends up doing her first time with pinkie, fourth wall broken yet again and everyone except twilight seems to fuck on a regular basis...mmk i'll bite. Btw good story made me lol :rainbowlaugh:

Pinkie's got nothin' on Celestia...since shes thousands of years old, I don't even want to think about how many partners she's had :facehoof::trollestia:

"Double penetration penalty!" LOLOLOL. Good work, Brony :D:pinkiehappy::twilightblush:

AppleJack has special family reunions? Wait a tick...


AJ's all, :ajsmug: "I'm bucking more than apples."
Big Mac's all, :eeyup: "Eeyup."

And Applebloom... :applecry:

... It works, that is all that can be said.

#31 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·

I... I'm sorry twilight. I thought your number would be zero. :twilightangry2: I SAID I WAS SORRY

To take into account leap years, you should multiply 25 by 365.25, which gives us 9131 days.

Currently, the world record for most men slept with in one day is 919 men.
That means if she met the world record 9 times, she would reach her number.
Alternatively, she needs to have enough sex for each women in the world's largest orgy (250 couples) 36 times.
If we assume the average stallion lasts as long as the average male (5-10 mins, according to wiki), then Pinkie has had 67507.5 Minutes of intercourse, which is effectively 46 days straight, assuming the minimum of one male partner per session.

But all this wrong because we know the number is 9002 at least now, don't we? :pinkiehappy:

#33 · Dec 27th, 2011 · · ·

*is hoping lyra ad bonbon's number match*

I think you should change the rating

3314 I think pinkie drew a 900 next to her zero to mess with twilight.

And Pinkie just proved that (using her amazing Pinkazoid powers) that a number can be added to using a magi cmarker (no pun intended).

Personally, I love this story. It manages to approach the subject without being explicit, and Pinkie's probably the most interesting character to tell this story with. The level of insight she has on any subject at all is always fun to see. ^^

6836i think I speak for everyone when I say we want moar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So... I don't even know anymore. Random comments ftw.

Oh yeah! I remember what I was going to say. Ch. 1 = complete? Why people do that?

I wonder what the Doctor's number is.

We want more

how many did Rarity have ,,, and and Rainbow.... and Applejack

Very nice. I liked the "Over 9,000" bit, Pinkie being able to see the numbers, and the genuine discussion of being wanted and not getting addicted whilst still enjoying quantity.

397964 3.141592653589793238462643383279... AKA π, because it's irrational and so is he.

I wonder what she'd see on Celestia and Luna's flanks? Or (brain-bleach time for her) Shining Armor's?

I laughed. Quite a few times. Well done.

*This doesn't need an epilogue, but I'll do an omake anyway!*

Twilight looked proudly on the bright red "2" branded to her flank and sighed. She'd learned many things today, and decided to write a letter to her mentor. It was a more risque topic than usual, but Celestia would understand.
She briefly considered finding out the Princesses' numbers, but decided that witnessing a six-digit on anyone's butt would likely break her mind.
She pulled out the dusty old tome once more, searching for the counterspell that would eliminate her fears once and for-
"Hey Twilight! I'm back!"
"Oh, hey, Spike!"
"Um...do you mind if I hang out with the Crusaders tomorrow? They're trying to get 'dragon taming' cutie marks and I didn't think going after the one in Everfree was a good idea, so I volunteered."
Twilight froze. No. She was being stupid. There was no possible way-


"But I-!"
"GROUNDED!" :twilightangry2:

It is my honor to inspire. :pinkiehappy:
"Cutie Mark Crusader Dragon Tamer Bondage Mistresses! YAAAAAYY!!"

.... I think I may be going to Hell for that one.

397964 between 0 and 2 if the personality is the same as in Dr. Who.

Was Rarity's number amazingly high or something? Or were the tea buddies just tea buddies? :raritywink:

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