• Member Since 24th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday




Yesterday I found another brony at my school. We talked, and he said he was real into Appledash fics. This is for him. And, I guess anyone who likes Appledash fics.

I know, It's short. Keep it short, keep it to the point.

Written at five thirty A.M. on my way to school... don't expect it to be super special or anything. Criticism is okay, just keep it polite.

That's about it. Enjoy!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 35 )

I love this story and lol about the wings. :ajbemused::rainbowlaugh:

:twilightoops: "Are you sure you're in love?"

:rainbowhuh: "Yes because look we can kiss look" :rainbowkiss:

God I wish I could like, make it a law that you are not allowed to write stories with kissing in until you can write a story that makes it clear two characters are in love without them doing anything more intimate than a handshake

XD oh my....cant wait for more

when i said that, i totally meant for you to make more :3

For a little literary morsel such as this was, it was quite rich.
I look forward to reading more of your work. :twilightsmile:

I'm with all shippings, but so far, my favorites are:
1)Twilight X Trixie
2)Vinyl X Octavia
3)Rainbow Dash X Twilight Sparkle
4)Celestia X Twilight Sparkle
5)Luna X Twilight Sparkle
I still love Appledash fics and it gave me a laugh. Loved it, 4/5 :)

Bucking Beautiful :rainbowkiss:-Theengineerbrony

Can't ever have enough appledash! Great story :pinkiesmile:


I have to agree on this point, though to be fair the kiss was more about Dash showing off than showing to the reader. Still it's more convincing if an author can show signs that the characters are in love without resorting to more obvious actions like kissing or declaring they are in love. I would have probably had


With that said this fic was aptly titled. It's not particularly bad or anything, though it's not remarkable. I suppose that it wasn't aiming for much more than a drabble given the circumstances of the composition. (And writing these sorts of things can be valuable practice when learning the craft of writing early on.) I could offer some suggestions on prose, though given that I have not read your other stories and the circumstances of this story's composition I'm not sure if it's fair to make suggestions yet.

With that in mind I feel the need to comment on the following: you certainly have a facility for find humour in the everyday and trivial. If you aren't already working on that, it looks like something worth developing in your writing. Lines like Pinkie declaring they need to throw a "Hey-guess-what-Rainbow-Dash-and-Applejack-are-doin'-it'-party" or AJ's comment about Dash's performance in bed. (There's even a few ideas that could be expanded to a larger story like Twilight and Big Mac trying to come to terms with same sex relationships among people special in their life.) If nothing else the humour and simple prose give the story a breezy feel, which makes it move along quite easily. With some practice I can see you building comedies that find humour in the trivial, everyday happenings like the ones you detailed in the fic. You may want to look at writers like Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, and P.G. Wodehouse for ideas.

That was amazing, lovely, and funny. I really laughed loud with the "Well you certainly were a stallion last night." part. It just made my day.
You're a really good writer. I would love to read "the night before" Now don't you be getting bad thoughts about what I've said, I was referring at the part where they confess they love for each other and that, but I got nothing against clopfics so it's up to you to do what you want, but you need to do this! you're great!

131464 I try to find humor in life (It helps make the day more bearable) and I guess that just sorta rubbed off into my writing. Also, I think that whole "Big mac and Twilight come to terms" tangent might just work out... it's worth a shot anyway.

132300 That... is a GREAT IDEA!!! I might just have to write that now :twilightsmile:
However I can tell you right now there will be no clop. Insinuated clop? You bet, but no actual sex. I find that I usually end up just giving the reader an anatomy lesson, which infuriates me :flutterrage: But just for you? I shall get to writing... (epic background music) THE NIGHT BEFORE!

I hope so see more of this. Really liking it! :ajsmug:

ok, the kiss at the beginning was a bit much
there's a spelling error in the last paragraph, you capitalized that
and I admire you for jumping head first into this
just you may need to add a little backstory next time, but that's just a personal preference I guess:duck:

312899 I've improved on my writing a lot since this story. My best work to date has to be Serenade. It's a second person fic with "you" and Rarity. Read it!... or not.

whats the name of the sequal to this story ?:derpyderp1:

365867 It's more of a prequel, and it's called "The night Before".

365896ya but isnt there a story tht could take place after this story like further into the future not a prequal if tht makes sense:derpytongue2:

365904 I could certainly write one, if that's what you're getting at. It's Spring Break, after all! I have all the time in the world!

ok then y does this one say incomplete then :derpyderp2:

366912 that is a heinous error in my part. It is complete an meant to be a one-shot through and through. I apologize.

thats ok but it does seem incomplete at the end tho thats y i mentioned u should do another chapter contiinueing if u do dont be that guy tht makes it end sad or tragic those kinda suck from my point of veiw

368741 Beggers can't be choosers, my friend.

But yeah, now that it's in my head, I definitely have to write it now. I'm juggling three other projects, so don't expect it to be out tomorrow, though. :feelsbadpony:

no ik these things take time im trying to figure out what i should write but im stuck if its rushed it wount be good

Moar! you can never have too much appledash!

869269 I made a prequel to this, you can read it here if you'd like.


869290 I know. I read it first. it was good. but I meant other than these two... um if that's alright with you.:fluttercry:

869386 Goodness, so much shipping!
Nah, just kidding. Appledash may be OTP, but there won't be anything from me for at least another month or so. I hate saying no, but I have a big super-secret-snot-shipping project that I'm working on right now.

If you want, you can read what I have done.

Damn,this is.good for being made in like,what, fifteen minutes?

:pinkiehappy: IM SO HAPPY YOU MADE THIS FOR ME! :rainbowkiss:

this is awesome good work :pinkiehappy:

I agree with you Diamond Sparkle Its a good story and the thing with the wings LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\

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